Wayesenza ntoni? Ewe, ngokuchaseneyo noko kubonakala ngathi yindoda yonke ijack kwisitalato, uBill Clinton wayengazisikeli kwisiqwenga esingaqhelekanga, njengoko uMagic Johnson enokutsho. Nditsho nasekuqaleni, xa uBetty Currie eqala ukuvuthela iqhaga kuWilly's West Wing zipper, u-l'affaire Lewinsky wayengekho malunga nokubekwa. Kwakumalunga nokubekwa emva koko kwenziwe ukuba uzive ungalunganga ngako emva koko.
Imbi kakhulu. Kubi, kubi, kubi uBilly.
I-Orgasm ayisiyo njongo. Ukuthotywa, ihlazo, ha-ha ukugculelwa sisihlwele esihlazisa ihlazo-leyo njongo.
Ndifanele ndazi. Ndisebenze kumadoda olawulo ngamawaka eedola ezingama-500-a-pop, ukudlala indima, kwindumasi yosuku, njengoNkosikazi Sonya, umnini-venkile yevenkile ethengisa kakuhle ye-S & M embindini wedolophu iManhattan, elawula ukubethwa ngompu ngamanye amaxesha ukubetha i-pizzle kwiintshulube ezihamba njengamadoda kwaye eziva isidingo esinzulu sokuziva uneentloni.
Nceda undivumele ndizazise, ndingathi kubo, ndiyintombazana yobutyebi kunye nokunambitheka. Ukunambitheka ngakumbi kunobutyebi, kulapho wena, smear of dagar-dicked smear of the sperm-marbled feces that you are, in.
Ndithathe umhlala-phantsi kulo msebenzi, ndishwankathela amava am kwimemo, iZenzo ezingaqhelekanga. Kodwa ndifikile kwisigqibo sokuba bendiyi gal ebambe umtshangatshangiso. YayiyiBig Kahuna, nayo. Ukujonga nje kumaphepha angaphambili kubonisa ukuba siyakubona ukuvela kwehlazo elibi njengolonwabo olukhulu lwesizwe. Eli liXesha leHlazo.
Ndijonge okwenzekayo eWashington, kwaye ndibona abantu abaninzi abalahlekileyo inqaku ngokupheleleyo. Udadewethu phezulu eCoxsackie, NY, umzekelo. UClinton wayenokucinga njani ukuba angabaleka? Kodwa khange ayicinge lonto. Aba bafana, abathengi bam, benyathela ishevu esandula ukucwebezela kwaye bephuma kwiipaseji zamandla, benuka (bayathemba) njengesepha eqholiweyo, abafuni ukubaleka nayo.
Bafuna ukukhukhumala ngomkhuhlane, ukuxubana, iintloni zokuzibamba, bezonwabisa ngolonwabo ngalo lonke elixesha, ii-prostate zabo ezigcuma ngathi ziiHanukkah dreidels. Yiya kuThixo wakho ngoloyiko nangokungcangcazela, quoth ibhayibhile, kwaye wenze aba bantu.
UMonica Lewinsky yayikukusetha kuphela. I-barrage yokugculelwa, iifowuni zegama elithi I-Starr Chamber-leyo yintlawulo. Ewe, esi saqhwithi sempikiswano esijikeleza uMongameli, kufanelekile nokuba sithatha ntoni. UBill Clinton ufumana imali yakhe ngoku. Yinto awayeyiyo emva kwayo yonke loo nto. La mafutha omthwalo kwiNdlu eNtshonalanga, uDon Imus uyambiza. UBill Clinton uyiphazamisile i-diaper yakhe ngaphambili nangaphambili. Amandla yi-aphrodisiac, kodwa ke ihlazo.
Makhe ndikubalisele ngenye inkokheli yelizwe elikhululekileyo, i-ambassador enxulumene neZizwe eziManyeneyo ezazisakuba yinto yam eqhelekileyo. Igama lakhe liza kubonakala ngokukhawuleza, kodwa aliyi kubhengezwa apha, njengoko ndingabethi kwaye ndixelele.
Laa pantload yendoda iqhekezayo ibisoloko ivele emnyango wam sele iphefumlela phezulu, amakhonkco amnyama apha ngezantsi kwamehlo akhe aqhawukayo evutha ngathi zizipaji zoonozakuzaku abagcweleyo. Uya kuba nemeko ecacisiweyo yonke elungiselelwe. Ukuba konke kubhaliwe phantsi. Ngezandla ezingcangcazelisayo wandolulela kum oonobumba bepeni enye esandula ukutyikitya izivumelwano zikarhulumente.
Njalo, ileta. Ukusuka kurhulumente wakhe, owayebhalela ukundazisa ukuba uMnu. Modern-Day-Metternich wayeyinkwenkwana ye-baaad. Kwakufuneka ndibethe ezantsi kunye naye. Njengokuba bendisenza loo nto, wanyanzelisa kum esithi eli binzana bendisenza njalo: Betha ezantsi kwakho ubuze.
Ke ndiye ndafunda emaphepheni ukuba i-Naughty Bottom ibibandakanyeka kuhambo oluthile loonozakuzaku. Ekugqibeleni, ndiye ndaqaphela ukuba kukho indlela yokwenza ububi bakhe. Isingqisho. Kuko konke ukuphakama ebomini bakhe, kwafuneka abe nezantsi.
Emva kweseshoni nganye ye-Naughty Bottom's saber egxadazela kwiZizwe eziManyeneyo, bendisazi ukuba ndilindele utyelelo. Ukuthotywa awayekufuna kwakubonakala ngathi kwahluka ngokwenani kuhlobo lwenqaku lezihloko awayezifumene kwiThe New York Times. Kukho indlela ethile yemathematika emayilandelwe apha, kodwa ndidiniwe kakhulu ukuyenza.
Kuyadinisa, kudlala phezulu kuye ezantsi. Imithombo yeendaba kufuneka yazi, njengoko iyinxaxheba eyidlalayo, kwaye idlale kakuhle, kuBill Clinton kwezi veki zidlulileyo. Umzekeliso kaDrew Friedman kwiThe Braganca (Feb. 2) kaKenneth Starr njengoko uTorquemada wandikhumbuza ngokungacacanga ngokuvula ucango lwam kubaxhasi bam.
Omnye umzekelo: ophumelele uOscar, owathi, kusuku olulandelayo emva komsitho, wajika yonke indlela eya eNew York ukuze aqhubeke nepas de deux yethu. Nangona wayeqhele ukuba sesiqhelo, kwakusele malunga neenyanga ezintandathu ndingazange ndambona. Ke mna kunye nabanye abantu abaliwaka lezigidi kwihlabathi jikelele ndabona lo mfo ehambisa intetho yakhe yokwamkela. Wayengekho kangako emva kweeyure ezingama-48, ethintitha njengoko endicenga ukuba ndibambe i-chrome ye-intshi ezintandathu ukukhulisa… Intaba ephakamileyo, intlambo esezantsi.
Abo baseYurophu abasifundisa ngezixhaso zethu zesini zePuritan abayifumani. Iparadesi yokulingana nokungabi natyala ethembisa ngayo inguquko yezesondo kwaye ilizwekazi lizibanga ngokwakho-ngaphandle kokuba yi-hoodwink, kuvela ukuba asiyifuni.
Abafazi abalufuni. Bakhetha ukubetha amadoda. Amadoda awayifuni. Bakhetha ukubethwa. Zombini izini zesini zikhetha isondo ngendlela yakudala, ngaphandle ngokhuni: kubi, kukukhohlakala kwaye kufutshane.
Ukwabelana ngesondo kufanele kufane nokusela iglasi yamanzi, utshilo umxhasi waseBolshevik okhululekileyo, eshumayela ubukrelekrele bokungakhathali, kodwa owona mbuzo ngowokuba uyayithanda na iglasi engenanto okanye isiqingatha esigcwele. Phezulu okanye ezantsi? UBill Clinton ukhetha ezantsi, kwaye usiphose sonke kwindima yakhe yolawulo.
Ukwabelana ngesondo kukungqubana nje, utshilo umhleli wephephancwadi u-Al Goldstein, ephindaphinda iBolshevik.
Hayi. Akunjalo kwi-neo-Puritan America, akunjalo. Yibhokisi yebhokisi yeepilisi yesikhumba esine-leopsard ezaliswe kwi-stale ecstasy, ukuhlaselwa okungahleliwe, ukukhunjulwa kwe-crease-folded, ukukhathazeka kwintlungu, ukukhawuleza ukuxoka kunye nokunye, njengoko uNeal Cassady angatsho, i-idiocy, i-big bang mojo kunye ne-spoonful iswekile. Igcwele kakhulu kangangokuba yinto yendalo kuphela xa ngamanye amaxesha iwa ngaphezulu.
Wamkelekile kubudala beentloni.
Ukuthotywa yi-amyl nitrate popper esincancayo ngalo mzuzu wokufa okuncinci. Yinto spice kwi vice. Igxininisa ukonwaba. Ukuthotywa yintambo kugqwetha ioksijini yethu njengoko sisebenzisa i-auto-eroto-asphyxiate.
Umdlalo oqhutyelwa eWashington ngoku yenye ye-bumble-puppy, eyayidla ngokubhekisa kwimidlalo yamakhadi edlalwa ngenjongo ngokuchasene nemithetho. Ayikuko ukuba uBill Clinton ufuna ukubanjwa. Akunjalo. Kukuba ukwaphula imithetho kukodwa kungundoqo womdlalo.
Yilwayo, ndiza kuphuma kumhlalaphantsi ngenxa yakho. Uye waziphoxa kaninzi kangangokuba ndibheja ukuba kuyaqala ukuba ngathi ndimdala. Mhlawumbi ujonge amasimi amatsha oyisayo, ubunzulu obutsha ukuya kwi-plumb.
Ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba ndingasula eso silima sinyibilikayo kwimug yakho. Ndingakwazisa kwindalo iphela yokufelwa. Nditsalele umnxeba kwi-970-KAPOWIE. Ndikulungele xa ulapho.
