Umbhali, oboniswe ngentla, uphumle nenja yakhe. (Ifoto ngu-Amanda Lea Perez) Ndakhe ndeva ngoGreg kwamanye amantombazana endandikhe ndasebenza nawo — amaweyitara e-cocktail kunye nabathengisi-kodwa xa ndandiqala ukudibana naye, ngo-2009, wabonakala engohlukanga kunomntu oqhelekileyo osisityebi, omhlophe. Ngasekupheleni kweminyaka engama-40 enamehlo aluhlaza kunye neenwele ezingwevu, wayebonakala ngathi luhlobo lwedolophu ekumgangatho ophezulu enokuthi idlale igalufa kwiklabhu yelizwe kwimpelaveki. Wenza ntoni.
Sekunjalo, ndandiwavile amabali. Kwaye ndandinomdla okanye, endaweni yoko, ndinomona opheleleyo, kuba uGreg (ayilogama lakhe lokwenyani) wayesaziwa ngokuqokelela isixa esikhulu semali-ngokubala kwakhe, uchithe ngaphezulu kwe- $ 1.5 yezigidi-kwizihlangu eziphezulu kwisangqa sakhe sangaphakathi yabasetyhini ababemvumela ukuba adlale uhlobo oluthile lomntwana wesondo. Ngapha koko, wayeyinto eyintsomi edolophini phakathi kwabasetyhini-beshishini ngela xesha sasinxibelelana. Wayeyintando yethu engcwele, aka Shoe Guy. Kwaye ngelixa enokoyikwa njenge-esile elinzima emsebenzini, apho engumphathi, ndimgcinile kwifowuni yam njengoSissyboy Slave.
Isiteketiso sifanelekile. Ngobusuku bethu bokuqala sikunye kwindawo yokuphumla ebusuku eMidtown, uGreg waqala ngokukhotha ezantsi kwezihlangu zam. Waqhubeka nokukhotha indlu yangasese yebha emva koko wandinika ukutya okotyiweyo kwepantyhose yam. Emva koko, ndamkhaba kwiibhola. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Khange ndiqonde ncam ukuba kutheni ephikelela kulo mxube wokuthotywa okujolise kwiinyawo kunye neentlungu, kodwa yayiyile nto kanye ayifunayo, kwaye wandibhatala i-800 yeedola ngengxaki yam.
Kwixesha elizayo, sadibana kwivenkile ekuthiwa yiChristian Louboutin kwiSithili saseMeatpacking. Wathenga mna kunye nenye intombi nganye isibini seedola ezingama-2 000. Ukubuya kwethu, sigalele iinzipho ezinqunyulwe iinzipho ezihlangulwe kwiipedicure zamva nje, kakhulu kwisiphithiphithi samanenekazi amaKorea ahluphekileyo awenzayo, ngaphezulu kwamaqebengwana akhe kanonkala kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kunye nokutshicela kwisiselo sakhe. Xa uGreg waodola utywala, sayikhuphela kwigumbi lokuhlambela, kwaye intombi yam eyintombazana yayigcwalisa phakathi nomchamo wayo. Wayevuya kakhulu akufumanisa kuseshushu.
Kwakuyinto engaqhelekanga, ndiyavuma, kodwa ndaqala ukuyifumana iyonwabisa-hayi ngendlela yesondo kodwa kwindlela ongena ngayo ngokukhawuleza emva kokuba ezivenkileni; kukugcoba kukreqo oluqhelekileyo, lokuba mbi. Ekupheleni kobusuku, wasinika umntu ngamnye iidola ezingama-900.
Ndacinga: Ndingayiqhela le nto.
Ubudlelwane bethu buqhubekile okokoko ukusuka apho. UGreg wayeza kungena kwimivalo nakwii-lounges apho ndisebenza khona, ndisazi ukuba ndimgcinela ibhokisi yeminwe. Ngelinye ixesha, uGreg, osebenza kakhulu kuFacebook, wandithengela inqwelomoya eya eMiami. Emva koko, ndathumela umthwalo weefoto zeenyawo kuye njengokuhlaziywa kwemeko. Isithandwa sam sikufumene oku kusolisayo kwaye sabuza ukuba i-albhamu yam yeholide yeyabantu abaneenyawo ezinemilenze. Yhoo!
Ukanti ndingumlinganiswa omncinci kakhulu kwibali elikhulu kakhulu. Ndibuze uGreg ukuba angandixelela eli bali, wavuma-ngokutshintshisa ngeebhulukhwe zangaphantsi ezimdaka kunye nokuvunyelwa ukuba ndithambise ndiphunga ngeenyawo zam ngexesha lodliwanondlebe. Ndaye ndadibana naye kwindawo yokutyela edolophini, kunye neenzwane ezisandula ukufakelwa iinyawo kunye nomtya endandisandula ukuwunxiba ukujikeleza iklasi.
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Inkumbulo yokuqala kaGreg yeyentombazana engummelwane. Wayengu-4 ngelo xesha kwaye engabukhumbuli ubuso bakhe okanye iinwele zakhe okanye negama lakhe, kodwa ukhumbula ngokucacileyo iinwele zakhe ezibomvu zopolishi kunye nomtya wesanti, uthambile kwaye umnyama ngenxa yokubila. Nge-10, waqala wabuza abahlobo bakadadewabo be-cheerleader ukuba angarhola kunye nokuncamisa iinyawo zabo, ngakumbi emva kokuziqhelanisa novuyo. Babenyanzelekile kodwa bengacingi kwanto ngayo.
Intombazana yokuqala eyathatha ngokuzithandela usana lwayo yayiyenye intombazana ekufutshane. Wayeneminyaka eli-12; Wayeneminyaka eli-14 ubudala. Ubudlelwane buqale xa ekhulula iikawusi zakhe, engakhange azikhusele, wayisonga wayifaka emlonyeni. Waziva engxamile ukuhlazeka kwe-adrenaline, kwaye wayenomlutha.
Xa wayesiya kwikholeji, nangona kunjalo, waziva ukuba kufuneka ayicinezele le minqweno, eyayingelula. Waqala ukusela kakhulu. Ukuphela kwento awayenayo yayiziiphakheji zokhathalelo ezazithunyelwa ngummelwane wakhe, eziqulathe izihlangu zakhe ezindala kunye neebhetshi zamaqebengwana azaliswe kukungcola. Abantu endandihlala nabo babehlala bezibuza ukuba kutheni ndingabelani nokutya kwam, wandixelela ngoncumo. 
Ngaba usacofa? (Ifoto ngu-Amanda Lea Perez)
Ngelixa uluntu lwengqondo ngokubanzi lukholelwa ekubeni iimfesane zikhula kwinqanaba lokufikisa, uGreg ucacile ukuba waqala kudala ngaphambi kokufikisa kwaye akazange afumane mngcipheko wobuntwana. Endaweni yokuba akholelwe ukuba wazalwa ngale ndlela. Xa ndabelana ngebali likaGreg noGqirha Annie Sprinkle, ugqirha wezesondo owaziwayo kunye neenkwenkwezi zokuqala ze-porn ukufumana i-Ph.D. ngokwesini somntu, ucacisile ukuba, ngelixa uninzi lwabantu lunemithambo enganeno kangako, uGreg ubonakala enento egqithileyo, awayongezayo ixhaphake emadodeni kunabafazi.
Umhlobo wam uWink wayenesisu esibi kakhulu, watsho ngomzekelo. Uyifumene xa wayeneminyaka eyi-8, kwaye umama wakhe wawisa imela kunyawo lwayo oluqinileyo xa wayepheka. Wakhwaza; U-Wink wafumana ulwakhiwo lwakhe lokuqala.
Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, uGreg akaziva ukuba ufuna ukubamba ubunzulu bengqondo yakhe, ekhululekile kulusu lwakhe (okanye ipantyhose yomnye umntu). Ndiyalicaphukela igama elithi 'perv,' utshilo. Yileyibhile embi. Ndikhetha ukubiza wonke umntu njenge-vanilla kwaye ndiyoyika ukuphonononga eyona nto bafuna ukuyenza.
Ke kwakhona, kwamthatha iminyaka ukuba afike kwelo nqanaba lokuthuthuzela. Emva kwekholeji, xa uGreg wafudukela eManhattan, waqala ukuphinda iiklabhu zemigca kwaye wafumanisa kwakhona iminqweno yakhe. Wayeza kuthenga imidaniso yethanga kwaye asebenzise ixesha ukunika abadanisi ukuziphulula iinyawo. Kancinci, waqala ukufaka iintlungu nokunyathela kwakhe.
I stripper bebehlala beme phezu kwam okwe doormat, ukhumbule, xa endiphulula iinyawo zam kwigumbi lokuphumla iBowery. Nkqu nabaphathi bomgangatho bebeya kungena kwigumbi le-VIP kwaye bajoyine ekunyatheni ngelixa beyisela ukuba ndiye kwenye iyure.
Kwakukubha yenye yeeklabhu zokuqhawula apho uGreg wadibana noKate, umfundi wobugcisa osebenza njengebartender. Waqala ukumnika into eyongezelelweyo ukuze atshicele kwiziselo zakhe kwaye wabuza ukuba ukhe weva ngaye ngabadanisi. Wayenayo kwaye wayengoyiki kwaphela.
Wayengowesifazane wokuqala endakhe ndabuza kuye, wavuma uGreg, esongeza ukuba utsalelekile kubafazi abasokolayo okanye abasentlungwini (uKate waphathwa gadalala ebuntwaneni). Xa ndambuza ukuba achaze le nto, wahleka wathi, Hayi, ewe, ndinomsindisi.
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Ngeli xesha ngorhatya, mna noGreg siye saya kwiBondSt yesushi. Ukhuphe umsonto wam ongcolileyo waqala wawusika, wafefa amaqhekeza kwitaarari yakhe yetyhuna. Ndiyathanda ukubaginya ukuze bandise ihlazo, ucacisile, esithi uGqirha Sprinkle ucebise ukuba angadala UAlice kwiWonderland Isiphumo: Unokuba mncinci, kwaye umfazi uya esiba mkhulu, abe namandla ngakumbi, utshilo.
Ukuncwina njenge-Cheshire Cat, uGreg uthathe isilumkiso sakhe emva koko waqala ukundixelela ngomfazi olandelayo obalulekileyo kwixesha lakhe lokuzalwa: UMelissa.
Umbhali onqwenelayo kunye nomxuthi wangaphambili, uMelissa waba yinto kaGreg's de facto iphiko-lomfazi kwi-2001, emnceda ukuba asondele kwabanye abagqatswa. Ngapha koko, wayila umthetho olandelwayo osele wangumgangatho wakhe: Ungaze uyokufuna intombazana entsha; fumana lowo ebekhona ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo ukuba aqale ukuyicaphukela — ingqiniwe, ingqumbo, umntu oya kukuvuyela ukulahla itreyi yesiselo kuye aze amkhothe iibhutsi zakhe.
Ndikunye noMelissa njengeqabane lakhe kulwaphulo-mthetho, bekukho ukhuseleko. Banokuya naphi na, kwaye konke kuqhubeka phantsi kweempumlo zolawulo ikakhulu lwamadoda. Amadoda akaziboni iinkcukacha, kwaye awanaki ngakwenzayo kwamanye amadoda, utshilo uGreg. Umphathi we-steakhouse ephezulu, umzekelo, wakha wahlala naye phantsi kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kwaye akazange ayiqaphele isaladi awayeyitya yayiyi-pantyhose yeepesenti ezingama-98. 
Ungasenza ntoni isibini seembadada zamaKristu uLouboutin? (Ifoto ngu-Amanda Lea Perez)
Imitshato ibonakala ingumxholo ophindaphindiweyo kubomi bukaGreg, nangona engazange atshate kwaye akanabantwana. Undixelele, ndikhe ndaya kwiminyhadala ye-bachelorette ezine. Ndim kuphela umfana apho kwaye kwathiwa mandisele i-pee yabo kuphela ubusuku bonke kunotywala.
Nangona uMelissa wayenomlingane, mhlawumbi kutheni ubudlelwane babo bengazange bawele umgca ukuya kwisini sangempela-kude kube emva watshata, oko kukuthi.
Kwenzekile ngobunye ubusuku, xa uGreg afumana ingozi embi kwaye isibhedlele asimvumeli ukuba ahambe naye. UMelissa wamthatha wamsa ekhaya. UGreg wandixelela ukuba waye-semi-abazi kwaye ekwiDemerol kwaye wavuka ukuba andikhwele.
Ndifumanise ukuba abantu basetyhini bahlala befumana ukungenisa kunomtsalane, kuba yaphula yonke imigaqo yentlalo, watsho, ejonge ngqo emehlweni am. Ngequbuliso ndaziva ukuba ufumana umsila ongaphezulu kunokuba bendikhe ndacinga.
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Ngokwamava akhe, uGreg uye waphula abafazi ababesebenzisana naye kwiindidi ezintathu: Abanye bayayenza ’kuba bezithanda izipho okanye imali. Ezo zihlala zihlala zimfutshane, utshilo. Abanye bayenza kuba yinto engekhoyo, kwaye abanye bayagqitywa licala lenkanuko, njengokuthanjiswa kweenyawo, ubhontsi owanyayo.
Kwezi ntsuku, uGreg ukwiminyaka emibini yobudlelwane, inxenye yeeparameter kukuba akasazisi izikhumbuzo zasekhaya ezivela kwabanye abantu basetyhini, ekunokwenzeka ukuba zilungile, kuthathelwa ingqalelo ukuthanda kwakhe izinto ezinjalo.
Umzekelo, ngothando wachaza isibini seeflethi zikaJimmy Choo awayehleli nazo intombi yakhe xa wayeye phesheya: Ukuvumba lelona qela linamandla kwimemori, utshilo. Ngokuqinisekileyo izihlangu yena . Ayifani nesiqholo; yiyo yena .
Kubonakala ngathi emva kwakhe, ngaphandle kovuyo okanye ukuthotywa, kukudibana kwabantu ngokwenyani. Xa esenza umqamelo wehosiery yabasetyhini ukuba alale kuyo, ayikaze ibe ngumbumbi wabafazi abohlukeneyo, kodwa inye kuphela, ukuze aphumle kamnandi ngevumba lakhe elikhethekileyo.
Ndihlala yonke imihla ndenza le nto ndifuna ukuyenza. Ndiziva ndiqhelekile kwaye ndinyanisekile kum kunaye nabani na. Umbutho usenokungakulungeli, kodwa andiziva ngathi kufuneka ndizithethelele, utshilo. Omnye umntu wakhe wathi kum, ‘Siza kulahlekelwa yintoni ngaphandle kwemiphefumlo yethu?’ Andiziva ngathi ndiphulukana nomphefumlo wam.
Itsheki yafika kungekudala, kwaye isityebi, indoda emhlophe yahlawula ityala. Siphume kunye kwindawo yokutyela, silungele ukuhamba ngeendlela zethu ezahlukeneyo. Xa ndingena ekhitshini kwisitalato iLafayette, ndibukele uGreg esiya ekhaya, apho bendisazi ukuba uzakulala kamnandi ngobuso enxibe izihlangu zikaJimmy Choo.
