Eyona Ezintsha Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Iimfihlo ezi-5 ezixhaswa nguPhando

Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Iimfihlo ezi-5 ezixhaswa nguPhando

Yeyiphi Imovie Ukubona?
 

U-Eric Barker ngumbhali we Ukukhonkotha umthi ongalunganga .

Inokuba udiniwe ngabo. Zikho kuyo yonke indawo. AbaNarcissists. Kwaye ukuba ucinga ukuba baninzi kunakuqala, unyanisile. Uphando lubonisa ukuba sihlangabezana nobhubhane we-narcissism.

Ukusuka Ubhubhane weNarcissism: Ukuphila kwiminyaka yelungelo :

Kwidatha evela kubafundi beekholeji ezingama-37,000, iimpawu zobuntu ezi-narcissistic zonyuka ngokukhawuleza njengokutyeba kakhulu ukusukela kwiminyaka ye-1980 ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, notshintsho olubhengezwe ngakumbi kwabasetyhini. Ukunyuka kwe-narcissism kuyakhawuleza, ngamanqaku anyuka ngokukhawuleza kwii-2000s kunakwiminyaka engamashumi edlulileyo.

Nomculo kunjalo ukufumana i-narcissistic ngakumbi . Kwaye yintoni uninzi lwabantu kwi-Twitter tweet malunga nayo? Ngokwabo, kunjalo .

(Kwaye ngokubhekisele kwiiselfie… kakuhle, ngaba ngokwenene ndifuna ukudibanisa naluphi na uphando malunga narcissism kunye neeselfie ? Hayi? Enkosi.)

Ngoku, sonke sine-narcissism encinci kuthi kwaye kwezi ntsuku sinokuninzi kakhulu kunokuba sidinga ngeenxa zonke thina.

Makhe sifunde ngakumbi malunga nokuba yintoni i-narcissism, indlela yokujongana ne-narcissists-kwaye kwanento omele uyenze ukuba uziva uba nguwe ngokwakho.

Ungene kumda ongenaziselfie. Masifike kuyo…

Yintoni iNtetho ngeNarcissism?

Njengoko uJean Twenge noW. Keith Campbell bachaza Ubhubhane weNarcissism , yintsomi ukuba i-narcissism kukuzithemba okuphezulu okanye ukuba phantsi kwayo yonke into ye-narcissists ayizithembanga kwaye iyabhatala.

AmaNarcissist akholelwa ukuba ayamangalisa-kwaye awunguye. (Inxalenye yokugqibela ayinamsebenzi, ii-narcissists azicingi ngawe konke konke, ngokunyanisekileyo.)

Ungazi njani ukuba umntu othile yi-narcissist? Kulula; Buza nje kubo . Uphando lubonisa ukuba ii-narcissists ziziva zilungile malunga nazo azinangxaki ngokuzamkela.

Kwaye i-narcissism inokuba njalo kakhulu iluncedo kwixesha elifutshane. Benza umbono wokuqala omangalisayo. Kwi Udliwanondlebe lomsebenzi kwaye uqhubeke imihla yokuqala , ii-narcissists zifumana iziphumo. Kwaye ebutsheni, njenge-narcissist kukwenza wonwabe .

AmaNarcissists kunokwenzeka ukuba yibani ziinkokeli Narcissists abo basebenza ngokugqithiseleyo ukuze kunokwenzeka ukuba unyuselwe . Kodwa izinto ezibasebenzela kakuhle kwixesha elifutshane zingqina ukubulala kwixesha elide.

Olo dliwanondlebe lomsebenzi lukhulu kodwa uprofesa waseYunivesithi yasePennsylvania uScott Barry Kaufman ucacisa ukuba emva kweeveki ezintathu abantu jonga abathathi-nto njengongathembekanga . Kwaye i-narcissists inokuba ziinkokheli, kodwa azilunganga . Kwaye xa udumo lungekho emgceni, uninzi lwee-narcissists azisebenzi nzima kangako.

Ukusuka Ubhubhane weNarcissism :

… Abafundi beekholeji abaneembono ezixhomileyo ngeziqu zabo (abacinga ukuba bangcono kunokuba benjalo) benza amabakala ahlwempuzekileyo ixesha elide abasekholejini. Banamathuba amaninzi okuyeka isikolo. Kolunye uphononongo, abafundi abatyhafise ikhosi yengqondo yentshayelelo babenamanqaku aphezulu kwezobuchwephesha, kwaye abo benza ii-A bafumana awona manqanaba asezantsi.

Umhla wokuqala omangalisayo? Ewe, kodwa ulwaneliseko lobuhlobo kunye nabo lubonisa a ukwehla okukhulu emva kweenyanga ezine . Njengabantu abadala, ii-narcissists abonwabanga . Kwaye ukuba ubangqongile, awuyi kuba njalo.

Ukusuka Ubhubhane weNarcissism :

Uphononongo lwakutshanje lwengqondo lufumanise ukuba ezona ziphumo zibalaseleyo zobuchwephesha-ngakumbi xa ezinye iimpawu zengqondo zibanjwa rhoqo-yayikukubandezeleka ngabantu abasondele kubo.

(Ukufunda izithethe ezine zophando lwe-neuroscience zithi ziya kukonwabisa, cofa Apha .)

Ke ujongana njani nabo? Nazi izicwangciso ezihlanu ezivela kuphando lwezesayensi:

1) Impendulo ekhawulezileyo: Musa

Ndiza kuba nosizi ngesi sisombululo sokuqala, kodwa yeyona mpendulo ilungileyo kwaye enye ekufuneka siyithathele ingqalelo rhoqo.

AbakwaNarcissist abanalo uvelwano, bahlala bengasebenzi nzima kwaye kwiiveki ezimbalwa ukuya kwiinyanga ezimbalwa babenza abantu ababangqongileyo babe lusizi. Kwaye i-narcissism kunzima kakhulu ukuyitshintsha. Ke, ukuba kunokwenzeka, hlala kude.

Abanye baya kuthi, Kodwa ndikrelekrele kunabo. Ndingazitshintsha! Yiyeke, ngoku ubusisi narcissistic.

Ukuba umba iimovie ezingama-80s, unokukhumbula Imidlalo yeMfazwe . Yayiqonda ntoni ikhompyuter ngemfazwe yenyukliya? Ekuphela kwendlela yokuphumelela yayingekuko ukudlala.

Abantu abaqiqayo bakhwaza ntoni kumabonwakude xa bebukele iimovie ezikhohlakeleyo?

Xa kukho igazi lonke kwigumbi lokuhlala, ifanitshala ijikeleza emoyeni kwaye iziporho zithetha nawe ngesiLatin, abantu abakrelekrele abalungiselele ukulwa nabangasekhoyo, baphuma ngokukhawuleza benze umnxeba onomsindo kumlawuli wabo.

Njengoko iM.T. uthethathethwano ngunjingalwazi UJohn Richardson ithi: ungaze uqale nge, Ndenza njani esi sivumelwano? Qala nge, Ngaba kufuneka kwenziwe le ntengiselwano? Ngama-narcissists, impendulo ihlala ingekho. Akufanelekanga.

(Ukufunda ukonwaba ngakumbi kunye nokuphumelela ngaphandle kokuba yi-narcissist, cofa Apha .)

Kulungile, ngaphambi kokuba abaphawuli be-Intanethi bandikrazule ngempendulo ecacileyo ethi Musa ukujongana nabadlali be-narcissists, masiqhubeke.

Kukho amaxesha amaninzi apho singenakukhetha khona. Unokuba nomphathi we-narcissistic, osebenza naye okanye ilungu losapho. Ngethamsanqa, kukho iimpendulo…

2) Wanga okanye uvale

Ewe, le ayisiyo mpendulo ithandwayo. Uxolo. Kodwa ukuba ujongene ne-narcissist kwaye ukwisikhundla esingenamandla kangako (ngokungathi bangumphathi wakho), akunakubakho khetho. Ubuncinci hayi ngoku.

Ugqirha wezengqondo UAl Bernstein Ucebisa ukuba ubange kubo okanye ubuncinci ugcine umlomo wakho ude ufumane ukuphuma apho.

Ukuhamba Ngaba ndim ndedwa oSebenzayo apha?: Izixazululo ezili-101 zokuSinda kwi-Insanity yeOfisi :

Akukho ndlela yokujikeleza oku. Ukuba ufuna ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo ne-narcissists, kuya kufuneka ubancome, impumelelo yabo kunye neethoyi zabo njengabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, oku akuyi kufuna nayiphi na inzame enkulu. Baza konwaba ngakumbi ukuza nezizathu zokuzivuyisana nabo. Into ekufuneka uyenzile kukumamela kwaye ujonge umdla.

Kukho lo mqondo ubiziweyo ukwenzakala kwe-narcissistic . Ukwalatha i-narcissist ayisiyiyo yonke into abacinga ukuba bangayenza njengokutsala isikhonkwane kwisiqhushumbisi. Ibhombu ekufuneka uyibonile yonke imihla yobomi bakho.

Qaphela ukuba i-narcissism sisazisi, njengenkolo okanye ipolitiki. Xa uphikisana ngayo, abantu abasongeli okanye batshintshe iingqondo-bayakucaphukela. Kwaye ii-narcissists ziphakathi kwabantu abaziphindezelayo oya kudibana nabo.

Ungaphendula uthi, Kodwa ndinyanisile ngabo! Usenokuba ulungile. Kodwa loo nto iyenza mandundu imeko. Ukuqhaqha i-bubble yabo ye-narcissistic kwaye uya kuhlawula. Molo.

Kwaye ukuba ukwisikhundla samandla asezantsi kobu budlelwane, njengomqeshi, kulungile, usenokuba uyifumene indlela yokubaleka kubo… kunye nokuqhawulwa kweeveki ezimbini.

Bayala kwaye baya kuphambana. Yiba buthathaka kwaye baya kuzama ukukuxhaphaza. Ziveze kwaye ziyakucaphukela ngonaphakade. (Ndithembe, ndizivavanyile zonke ezi zinto-kwincoko enye.) Akufanelekanga oko.

(Ukufunda indlela yokuphucula ukuzithemba kwakho ngaphandle kokuba yi-narcissist, cofa Apha .)

Kulungile, nantsi apho irabha idibana khona nendlela. Ukuba awukwazi ukuphuma kubo, kwaye abanamandla phezu kwakho, ujongana njani ne-narcissist?

3) Yazi into oyifunayo uze ufumane intlawulo ngaphambili

Musa ukulindela ubulungisa. Zithetha nje ngeziqu zabo, akunjalo? Ewe, kulungile emva koko. Yazi into oyifunayo. (Baza kundithemba.)

Kwaye emva koko ubenze bahlawule ngaphambili ngayo nayiphi na into oyifunayo ngaphambi kokuba bafumane into abayifunayo. UAl Bernstein uyacacisa :

Ungaze wandise ikhredithi kuye, okanye wamkele izithembiso ezivela, kumnxibelelanisi. Ngokukhawuleza bakufumana le nto bayifunayo, baya kuba kwindawo elandelayo, balibale nantoni na abathi bazokwenzela yona. Ngamanye amaxesha benza izithembiso abangazimiselanga ukuzigcina, kodwa rhoqo, bayalibala nje. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, kuya kufuneka ugcine iileja engqondweni yakho kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ufumana oko bakrokrayo phambi kwakho phambi kokuba ubanike oko bakufunayo. Nabanye abantu, le ndlela yokubonela inokubonakala ngathi iyathuka. AbakwaNarcissists baya kukuhlonipha ngenxa yoko. Yonke into kwihlabathi labo ayiyiyo proo. Banqabile ukukhutyekiswa ngabantu abazijongileyo.

Ukujongana ne-narcissist rhoqo kufana nokuba ne-tiger yezilwanyana zasekhaya: Uhlala ulumkile ukuba ngenye imini uza kukubona njengesidlo sangokuhlwa. Kodwa ukuba awunakukhetha, thethana kanzima. Akukho mntu onokuphumelela kunye naye.

Soloko uvuza indlela yokuziphatha, ungaze uthethe. Bafumana oko bakufunayo xa besenza le nto uyifunayo.

Ngoku ndibonakalise kakubi kakhulu kwi-narcissists (iyaqondakala), kodwa banokusebenza kunye kwaye banokuba ngabasebenzi abalungileyo. Ewe, ngokwenene.

Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba Ndifuna into ethile. Kufuneka ngokwenene bajongeke. Kwaye ukuba unokulungelelanisa iminqweno yakho kunye neminqweno yabo, unokuzifumana unomatshini wokuphumelela ongenakunqandeka.

Ukusuka Ubhubhane weNarcissism :

Enye into enokwenzeka kukuseta imeko apho izenzo zokhathalelo kunye nobubele zihambelana nokunconywa kunye nempumelelo. Ngamanye amagama, bonisa ii-narcissists ukuba banokufumana iimfuno zabo ze-narcissistic ngokuhlangabezana nokuziphatha njengabantu abanesidima, abanenkathalo.

Banike indlela yokuba nomtsalane ukuba bayakwenza oko baxelelwa kona. Oku kwenza ukuba kube lula ukujongana nabo kunamavila, ndithembe. Qiniseka nje ukuba uyayifumana le nto uyifunayo Ekuqaleni .

(Ukufunda indlela yokuxoxisana kwi-FBI ekhokelayo yokuxoxisana nabantu, cofa Apha .)

Kodwa uza kuthini xa ungekho kwimeko yokubavuza ngento abayirhalelayo? Ungamgcina njani umntu ohambisa i-narcissist emgceni?

4) Babuze, Baza kucinga ntoni abantu?

AbaNarcissists ungaziva unetyala, lihlazo kuphela . Konke malunga nokubonakala, akunjalo?

Ukuba bakholelwa ukuba into iza konakalisa igama labo, baya kucinga kabini. UAl Bernstein uyacacisa :

Ukuba ukwimeko yokucebisa, buza ukuba abantu bangacinga ntoni. AbakwaNarcissists abazizidenge; kukho izinto nje, njengeemvakalelo zabanye abantu, ezingafane ziqwalaselwe. Ukuba unayo indlebe, musa ukubaxelela indlela abantu abanokuthi basabele ngayo; endaweni yoko, buza imibuzo enokubuzisa. AbakwaNarcissists banamathuba amaninzi okwenza izimvo abacinga ukuba bazicingela ngokwabo.

Gxininisa uluntu kwaye usebenzise ukuphoxeka , endaweni yomsindo, ukugcina emgceni. Bafuna ukubukeka. Ke bancede bajongeke kakuhle ngokubanceda yenza Kulungile.

(Ukufunda iimfihlo zengcali yokuziphatha kwe-FBI ngendlela yokwenza abantu bakuthande, cofa Apha .)

Eli cwecwe limalunga nendlela yokujongana nabakwa-narcissist… kulungile, ungathini ukuba ngu-narcissist nguwe? Ngubhubhane, uyakhumbula? Kwaye ukuba awunguye umntu ohambisa iziyobisi, usenokosulelwa. Njengoko izifundo zibonisa, uninzi lwabanye lutshanje.

Ke ungakuphepha njani ukuba li-narcissist-okanye uyeke ukuba njalo?

5) Yiba nguDexter

Sonke sinokubhengeza okuthile kuthi. Yindalo. Kwaye i-narcissism inokusebenzela wena ngoku kodwa, njengoko sibonile, iingxaki zichasene kakhulu nokuzisa impumelelo, ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nolonwabo kwixesha elide.

Ke uyeka njani ukuba yi-narcissist okanye uqiniseke ukuba awunguye? Kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uyayigcina uvelwano kwabanye.

Yeka ukuzama ukubalasela, jonga ingqalelo kwaye ube darn okhethekileyo. UAl Bernstein ithi:

AmaNarcissist aya konakaliswa ngakumbi nangayiphi na imeko apho aphathwa njengowahlukileyo kubantu abaqhelekileyo.

Kulungile. ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo. (Kwaye ukuba loo mbono iyakoyikisa, sele usecaleni kwezinto, funda eli qhekeza kuvelwano ngoku .)

Ingxaki yile, ukoyisa i-narcissism kunzima kwaye kuthatha ixesha elide. Kwaye ukuba ungumntu osebenza nzima kwi-narcissist, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukuzisela imbuyekezo eyoneleyo kwixesha elifutshane lokuziva ngathi ngumbono olungileyo kwixesha elide.

Wenza ntoni ke? Yalathisa kwakhona i-narcissism yakho.

Ndikunika umzekelo omtsha: Ukuxhamla . Ewe, umbulali obulalayo obulala ababulali ababulalayo. (Ndiyazi, uDexter yi-psychopath ayisiyi-narcissist kodwa, jeez, sebenza nam apha, Kulungile?)

UDexter unengxaki-ingxaki enkulu, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo-kodwa uzama ukuba ngolungileyo.

I-Dexter isebenza ngesiqhelo. Uyasokola ukukhulisa uvelwano. Kwaye uqondisa iimvakalelo zakhe zokwenza izinto ezizuzisa abanye abantu. (Kulapho uthelekiso luphela khona. Andikuxeleli ukuba ubulale umntu, Kulungile?)

Esi simo sengqondo (ngaphandle kokukhetha abantu) sinokuvelisa iziphumo.

Ukusuka Ubhubhane weNarcissism : [i] f awungekhe uyeke ukondla i-ego, unokulungelelanisa i-narcissism yakho kunye nokuziphatha okunceda uluntu.

Ndiqinisekile ukuba uninzi lwee-narcissists ziqhuba isisa. Kwaye bayadunyiswa, banconywe kwaye banconywe. Ndilungile. ngohlobo lolo narcissist.

(Ukufunda indlela yokulwa i-narcissism yakho, cofa Apha .)

Kulungile, masikhe sijikeleze oku kwaye sifumane imfihlo yokugqibela ngendlela yokujongana nabantu be-me-me…

Shwankathela

Nantsi indlela yokujongana narcissist:

  • Musa. Cinga indlu enezindlu. Phuma apho okokuqala unethuba onalo.
  • Wanga okanye uvale. Ukuba bangumphathi wakho okanye banamandla kuwe, ukulwa kuyenza mandundu.
  • Yazi into oyifunayo uze ufumane intlawulo ngaphambili. Musa ukucinga ukuba baya kudlala ngokufanelekileyo.
  • Buza, Bacinga Ntoni Abantu? Bafuna ukubukeka. Ukuba bacinga ukuba baya kubonakala kakubi, baya kuziphatha.
  • Yiba nguDexter. Ukuba icala elimnyama loMkhosi unawe, tshintsha imfuno yakho ukuze ujongeke umhle ekuncedeni abanye.

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ii-narcissists ziphantse zalahleka. Sibona intabalala kumabonwakude, kodwa abo bambalwa kakhulu ababa nethamsanqa. Kwaye, ndithembe, abonwabanga bonke.

Hlala kude ukuba unako, kungenjalo uya kuba lixhoba labo okanye, okubi kakhulu, uya kuba ngomnye wabo. Xa ndandithetha noprofesa waseStanford UBob Sutton , wandixelela inqwaba yeengcebiso zakhe kwaba bafundi yile: Xa uthatha umsebenzi jonga ixesha elide kubantu oza kusebenza nabo-kuba amathuba okuba uza kuba njengabo, awuzukufana nawe.

Kwaye ukuba uchitha ixesha elininzi nabantu abalungileyo uya kuba, kulungile . Nanku uprofesa waseYale UNicholas Christakis :

Sibonisile ukuba isimilo sokungakhathali siyarhabaxa kwinethiwekhi kwaye kunjalo nangobunkunkqele. Amanethiwekhi aya kukhulisa nantoni na ehlwayelwe ngayo. Bayakukhulisa i-Ebola kunye ne-fascism kunye nokungonwabi kunye nobundlobongela, kodwa baya kukhulisa uthando kunye nokuzincama, ulonwabo kunye nolwazi.

Lonke ithuba olifumanayo, zirhangqe nabantu abalungileyo kuwe. Kwaye ulunge kubo.

Musa ukulwa narcissism. Yitya indlala.

Izithuba ezihambelanayo:

Indlela yokufumana abantu ukuba bakuthande: Iindlela ezi-7 ezivela kwiNgcali ye-FBI yokuziphatha
INeuroscience eNtsha ityhila izithethe ezi-4 eziya kukwenza wonwabe
Uphando olutsha lweHarvard lutyhila indlela emnandi yokuphumelela ngakumbi

Joyina ngaphezu kwama-240,000 abafundi. Fumana uhlaziyo lwasimahla lweveki nge-imeyile Apha .

U-Eric Barker ngumbhali we Ukukhonkotha umthi ongalunganga: Isayensi eyothusayo emva kwayo yonke into oyaziyo malunga nempumelelo (ubukhulu becala) ayilunganga . Kuboniswe uEric kwi INew York Times , Ijenali yeWall Street , Intambo kwaye IXESHA . Ubaleka nayo Ukukhonkotha umthi ongalunganga blog. Joyina ababhalisile abangama-240,000 kunye kunye nokufumana uhlaziyo lwasimahla lweveki Apha . Esi siqwenga savela ekuqaleni ngokukhonkotha umthi ongalunganga.

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