(Ifoto: Pixabay) Into endiyenzayo, kwaye ngelishwa uninzi lwabasetyhini, ndiyazi kakhulu ngayo ubudlelwane obunetyhefu . Into enetyhefu yinto ebangela ukuba ikonakalise, ikukhuphe, ize ikuphelise. Ubudlelwane obunetyhefu bunokulonakalisa ngokungathandabuzekiyo isiqu sakho.
Kukho ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kwaye ke bukhona ubudlelwane obunetyhefu , kwaye ndizifumene kule yokugqibela xa ndandisejunior ekholejini kunye nentloko phezu kwezithende ndithandana nomfana owayenazo zonke iintlobo eziphosakeleyo. Njengolwalamano oluninzi, le iye yaqala ngaphandle kwengxaki. I-chemistry yayingumbane, umtsalane wawomelele, incoko yayihamba ngokungazami, kwaye sasingenako ukwanela omnye komnye. Ndeva ukutsalwa kuye ngokungafaniyo nantoni na endakha ndaziva ngayo ngaphambili. Ndizibonile ezinye iimpawu zengxaki kwangoko, kodwa ndaziqinisekisa ukuba konke kuzolunga ngoba kufanelekile. Kodwa ayizange.
Njengoko ixesha liqhubeka izinto zaya zisiba mbi, kwaye kulo lonke ixesha lobudlelwane bethu bonyaka ndajika ndangumthunzi omnyama wobuntu bam bangaphambili. Ndandingasazonwabisi, ndingenabuntu, ndinethemba, ndithembe , kwaye ugcwele ukukhanya. Endaweni yokuba ndizive ndisecaleni, ndikhuselekile kabuhlungu, ndidiniwe, kwaye ndibuhlungu. Ndandihlala phantsi kwelifu elimnyama lokoyika… uloyiko lokuba luzakuphela, ukuba uzakuhamba. Inokuba bendikhathazekile naye, kodwa bendikholelwa ekubeni ngaphandle kwakhe bendizokungaphaya kokulungiswa, ndiye ndahlala ke. Ndihlale ixesha elide kunokuba bendifanele. Ndihleli nangona ebendinika izizathu zonke zokuba ndingavumi. Ekugqibeleni, ibinguye oshiyekileyo, kwaye njengoko bekulindelekile ndaziva ndikhutshiwe.
Kuphela kuxa ubudlelwane babufakelwe ngokungathandabuzekiyo apho ndakwaziyo ukubona indlela eyityhefu ngayo imeko leyo kunye nendlela eyonakalise ngayo imeko yam. Inxalenye yesizathu sokuba ndingayiboni kwakamsinya kukuba andazi ukuba ndijonge ntoni. Ndiyeke iimvakalelo zam ezinamandla ngaye zindimfamekise kuyo yonke enye into. Abahlobo bam bazama ukundilumkisa ukuba le yayiyimeko embi, ndayeka ke ukuthetha nabo. Kulungile undixelele ukuba le imbi, kwaye ke ndiyekile ukuvumela amathumbu am ukuba athethe nam. Ndenze into eyenziwa ngabantu abaninzi. Ndikhethe ukungaziboni izinto njengoko zazinjalo endaweni yoko ndagxila kwindlela endifuna ukuba izinto zibe ngayo. Ndikunciphisile konke okubi kwaye ndibambelele ngokuqinileyo kuyo nayiphi na into elungileyo endinokuyifumana, kwaye yayikuko kuphela endikudingayo ukuqhubeka.
Intlungu yahlala nam ixesha elide emva kokuba ubudlelwane buphelile, kwaye loo manxeba athatha ixesha elide ukuphola. Ingxaki ngobudlelwane obunetyhefu kukuba akusoloko kulula ukufumanisa xa ukuzo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba kude kube ngathi uyindlovukazi yedrama ukuyibiza ngokuba yityhefu.
Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba ufumana amava amahla-ndinyuka aziswa lulwalamano, okanye usola omnye umthombo ongaphandle kwaye ucinge ukuba kwakamsinya nje ukuba kusonjululwe, yonke into izakulunga.
Ukukwazi ukubona imeko ukuba yeyiphi kwaye yamkele ukuba ayizukutshintsha kungakunika amandla. Ikunika amandla okujonga izinto ngokusebenzisa iilensi ezijolise kuzo kwaye wenze isigqibo esikumdla wakho. Ukukunceda ufike apho, ndichonge ezona mpawu zinkulu zokuba unobudlelwane obunetyhefu ngokweemvakalelo.
1. Awunakuziva wonele ngokwaneleyo.
Uziva ngathi akukho nto uyenzileyo ilungile kwaye uhlala uzama ukubonisa ukubaluleka kwakho. Uba likhoboka lokuqinisekisa kwakhe. Nanini na xa usenza into kwaye ivelisa naluphi na uhlobo lokuvunywa kuye uziva ukhululekile, kwaye ikunika intambo eyoneleyo yokuxhoma kuyo. Uzama nangakumbi ukufumana ngaphezulu kolo luvo, kwaye uzive ngathi usilele xa lungafiki. Nokuba ungazama kangakanani, awusoze uzive wonele okanye ngathi wenza izinto kakuhle. Uhlala kwimeko engagungqiyo, yokuzicingela okwesibini, yokuzama ukuba ngcono kwaye ulunge ngokwaneleyo.
2. Awunakuba nguwe.
Uphawu olunye lokuba uku ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, obunothando Luvakalelo lokuba unga nje kuba . Umqondiso omkhulu wokuba ukwimpilo engenabungozi, ubudlelwane obunetyhefu buchasene, uvakalelo lokuba awukwazi ukuba nguwe. Endaweni yoko, kuya kufuneka uhambe phezu kwamaqokobhe amaqanda kwaye ujonge yonke into oyithethayo noyenzayo. Uziva ngathi kufuneka ucinge kabini ngaphambi kokuba uthethe kwaye izihloko ezithile zikhutshiwe, ukuba kufuneka wenze ngendlela ethile. Uyesaba ukuzisa izinto kuye ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukuba uza kuthini, kwaye ukungathethi nto kungcono kunokuthetha into kwaye ube nomsindo. Ke uyasokola uthule kwaye unethemba lokuba ngandlela thile izinto ziya kutshintsha, ukuba ngandlel 'ithile olu lwalamano luya kuguqula lube ngumzimba ophilileyo nolonwabileyo.
Usenokungaqondi nokuba umntu olu lwalamano lukuguqula lube luni. Uyazibuza ukuba kutheni ungafani nentombazana epholileyo, emnandi, ezithembileyo kwakhona, kwaye mhlawumbi abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho baziva ngokufanayo. Kodwa uyamthanda kwaye utyale imali eninzi kulwalamano kwaye ucinga ukuba kwakamsinya nje emva kokuba ugqibe kweli banga, uza kubuyela ekubeni yile ntombazana kwakhona…
3. Uyakubeka phantsi
Olu lolunye lweyona miqondiso mikhulu yobudlelwane obunetyhefu, kwaye kubonakala ngathi kuya kuba mnyama kakhulu kwaye kumhlophe, kodwa uhlala ungaziqondi zonke iindlela akubeka phantsi ngenxa yokuba zinokwenziwa ngeendlela ezikhohlisayo ezingekhoyo t ukugxeka okuthe tyaba. Kwaye ukuba ukwindawo ekude ngokwaneleyo, sele ungaziva ngathi wena kwaye awuziva wonwabe ngokwaneleyo ngawe, ukuze ungade uvumelane nezinto ezingalunganga azithethayo kuwe nangawe.
Ubudlelwane lithuba lokukhula okukhulu komntu. Ngamanye amaxesha iimpawu zethu ezingaphantsi kweenkwenkwezi ziziswa phezulu kwaye kufuneka zijongane nazo. Nangona kunjalo, kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi kweqabane elinokuthi lazise iimpazamo zakho ngendlela enothando, indlela ekhuthaza ukuba ukhule, kunye neqabane elikwenza oko endaweni yendelelo. Kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, uyakwamkela ukuba ungubani. Uyakuthanda okulungileyo kwaye amkele okubi ngenxa yokuba sonke singabantu kwaye sonke sinesiphene, kwaye iimpawu ezimbi ziza nje nommandla. Nabani na olindele ukugqibelela kwiqabane uvula indlela ebomini yokudana. Kubudlelwane obusempilweni, uya kufuna ukuphucula kuba unomdla wokwenene wokuba ngowona ulungileyo-ngenxa yakho, ngenxa yakhe, nangenxa yobudlelwane. Uyakuziva uthandwa kwaye wamkelwe ukuba ungubani, kwaye bobabini kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba utshintsho luthatha ixesha, ngenxa yoko awuzukuziva ungathandeki ngenxa yokunikezela kwezinye zeempawu zakho ezimbi amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, awuzukuziva wamkelekile, iqabane lakho liya kuba nokunyamezelana okuncinci ngeempawu zakho ezimbi, kwaye unokukuhlaza kwaye akujongele phantsi ngenxa yabo.
Ndiyakhumbula kubudlelwane bam obuyityhefu lo mfo wandixelela ukuba isizathu sokuba andikhethe ukuba ndibenobudlelwane naye kungenxa yokuba wayesazi ukuba akanakuze azale naye (ewe, sisicatshulwa esithe ngqo) umntu onjengam kuba bendingenguye umfazi wokwenyani kwaye izinto zikamama (khawukhe ucinge, bendineminyaka engama-20 ubudala ukuba ngumntwana wasekholejini), ke oko kwamenza waziva ekhuselekile esazi ukuba obu budlelwane abunakuba ngunaphakade. Umhlathi wakho usenokuba wehlile ekufundeni oko, kwaye mhlawumbi ucinga kakuhle ngokuqinisekileyo wamshiya emva koko, kodwa andizange! Ndikhumbula ndiziva ndineentloni, ndiziva ndineentloni yinto yokuba ndandithanda ukuphuma ndiyokusela kunye nepati (kwakhona, ndandineminyaka engama-20!), Kwaye ndaye ndenza injongo yam ukubonisa kuye ukuba ndingangumondli onjani. Kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, ukubeka ezantsi kuxhaphakile. Ezinye zigqithile kwaye ezinye zifihliwe, kwaye ngekhe uqaphele nomonakalo wangaphakathi abawenzayo.
UMBUZO: Ngaba ulwalamano olunetyhefu?
4. Ulwa ukungcola.
Izibini ziyalwa, nditsho nezona zivuyayo, oko kuza nomhlaba wolwalamano. Ukulwa kunokwenzeka kuzo zonke iintlobo zezinto, ezinkulu nezincinci. Izibini ezonwabileyo azingabo abangazange balwe, ngabo basebenzisa imilo kunye nokungavisisani njengendlela yokwenza sombulula umba . Ukuba kukho into engenakusombululwa, bafunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngcono kwaye bafikelele kwindawo yokuqonda okunzulu.
Izibini ezinetyhefu zihlala zilwela ukuphumelela. Basebenzisa imilo njengethuba lokudiliza omnye umntu, ukubetha ezantsi kwebhanti, ukukhupha wonke umsindo nengqumbo abaziva. Ukulwa okungcolileyo ngumqondiso wokuba inqanaba lentiyo kulwalamano sele lifikile esiphelweni. Le milo igcwele intiyo nokudelela, kwaye umntu ngamnye woyiswa ngumnqweno wokuphumelela kwaye aqinisekise elabo ityala kunokuba basebenze kunye ukusombulula ingxaki ngothando.
5. Akayi kusebenza kuyo.
Akaluthathi uxanduva kwaye endaweni yoko usola wena kwaye uyenze yonke ibe sisiphoso sakho. (Izinto ezinje, Ewe ngekhe ndicaphuke ukuba ubungasoloko usecaleni lam!) Kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, uziva ngathi unengxaki. Akazixabisi iimvakalelo zakho okanye iimfuno zakho. Ukuba uyacaphuka, kungenxa yokuba ubuthathaka kakhulu okanye unemvakalelo okanye awunangqondo. Usenokuthi uxolo, kodwa akayinxalenye yayo nantoni na kwaye ucinga ukuba unengxaki nobudlelwane emva koko, eyakho ingxaki. Akafuni kuthetha ngayo okanye asebenze kuyo okanye azame ukutshintsha.
Owona mgangatho ubalulekileyo ukujonga iqabane ngumntu ozimisele ukusebenza kulo. Nkqu ubudlelwane obunetyhefu bunokulungiswa ukuba bobabini abantu bazimisele ukusebenza kuyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyala ukutshintsha okanye ukuzama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zakho kunye neemfuno zakho, akukho nto inokwenziwa kwaye ukhetho lwakho kuphela kukushiya. Kunzima kuba umfana oneempawu ezinetyhefu naye uneempawu ezintle, kwaye sicinga ukuba ukuba sizama ngokwaneleyo sinokuzikhupha ezo mpawu zintle ngakumbi kwaye simkhuthaze ukuba atshintshe abe yindoda ebhetele. Kunqabile ukuba isebenze ngaloo ndlela; ekuphela kwendlela abantu abatshintsha ngayo kukuba bayayiqonda into yokuba kukho ingxaki kwaye bafuna ukuyilungisa. Nokuba zingakanani na iimpawu ezintle anazo, inye kuphela ebalulekileyo ngumnqweno wokwenza ubudlelwane busebenze. Ukuba akanayo, yonke enye into ayisebenzi.
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Ukuba nayiphi na le nto iyinyani kuwe okanye ivakala njengolwalamano lwakho, isenokuba lixesha lokuthathela ingqalelo ukuba ukuhlala kobu budlelwane yeyona nto uyithandayo. Ulwalamano oluyityhefu lunokonakalisa kakhulu; mhlawumbi uza kuyibona ngoku okanye kwenye indawo phantsi komgca. Okukhona uhlala ixesha elide, kokukhona umonakalo uya kuba mbi kwaye kuya kuthatha ixesha elide ukulungisa. Khumbula, ukuba uzikhulule msinyane, kokukhona uya kusondela ekufumaneni ubudlelwane obulungileyo.
USabrina Alexis ubaleka imvube.com kwaye umbhali Izinto ezili-10 Wonke uMfazi kufuneka azi malunga namadoda , iyafumaneka kwi-iBooks Apha .
P.S. Ufuna ukwazi ukuba ungakanani umntu wakho nyani Ufuna wena? Cofa apha ukuze uthabathe ngokukhawuleza (kwaye ngokuchanekileyo ngendlela eyoyikisayo) Ngaba Uyandithanda Imibuzo ngoku kwaye ufumanise ukuba unjani kuwe…
