Kungcono ukuhlala wedwa kunokuba kubudlelwane obungenampilo.Unsplash / Xavier uSotomayor Ndizamile iinyanga. Ndenze njalo. Uyayazi indlela endicaphukisa ngayo kangangokuba andiziva ngathi ndiphambili. Okwangoku, usabonisa imizuzu eli-12 emva kokuba imovie esele ithengisiwe iqale ingenatikiti. Emva koko uyandihlukanisa nesidlo sangokuhlwa ngelixa ethetha nompheki kunye no-maître d ’ngolwimi andiluthethi eminye imizuzu eli-10. Ukongeza isithuko ekonzakaleni, uyalela isibheno esaziyo ukuba andidibani naso. Ingathi andikho nakwilizwe lakhe, utsho umthengi wam omtsha.
Ngumntu lo uthandana naye? Ndiyabuza.
Ewe. Kulungile… utsho, uyaphendula.
Kwaye kusebenza njani kuwe? Ndiyabuza.
Ayiyo. Ndiyazi ukuba andizifumani iimfuno zam. Andiqinisekanga ukuba ndifuna ukuhamba, uphendula.
Eyona mvakalelo imbi ehlabathini ayilahlwa; ibambekile kubudlelwane obungazifezekisiyo iimfuno zakho.
Intliziyo ebuhlungu ayibi mbi njengokuvalelwa kubudlelwane obukulimazayo. Xa intliziyo yakho yaphukile, ungaqhubeka. Kodwa ukuhlala kubudlelwane obuphosakeleyo kuya kukukhathaza yonke imihla ubomi bakho bonke.
Kutheni le nto sihlala kubudlelwane obusenza singonwabi? Kutheni siqhubeka sinika umntu ongaziyo ukunika? Kwaye kutheni sikuthethelela ukungaziphathi kakuhle?
Uthando lusenza izidenge.
Uthando luvalela amandla ethu okuqonda kwaye lucofa umbono wethu. Isenza ukuba sikholelwe kulowo simaziyo ukuba angaba ngubani kunokuba ngubani. Uthando lusimfamekisa kwizinto esingafuni ukuzibona. Ingcwaba iintloko entlabathini ngelixa umlingane wethu egcakamele ilanga elunxwemeni kunye nentombazana elandelayo.
Kodwa ngaxa lithile, ukulwela uthando kukwenza ukuba ubethwe, utyumke kwaye ubethwe phantsi. Ngeliphi ixesha utsho, andisakwazi ukuyenza le nto kwakhona? Wazi njani ukuba lixesha lokuba uhambe?
Nazi iibhombu zenyaniso eziyi-9 ezinokukunceda uthathe isigqibo sokuba lixesha lokuba uhambe okanye hayi:
1. Ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda umntu akuthethi ukuba ukulungele.
Ukuzibophelela kumntu ongalunganga kunokuba yingozi. Banokuba babalaseleyo ephepheni, kodwa ngaba wabelana ngemibono efanayo, imibono, amaphupha kunye nokuziphatha? Ngaba niyakhula kunye okanye indlela eniphila ngayo initsalela ngaphandle? Ukuba awukho kwindlela enye, ubudlelwane buya kusokola phantsi kwendlela. Zazi ukuba ungubani kwaye ufuna ntoni. Ukuba ayimi phambi kwakho, lixesha lokuba uqhubeke.
2. Ukuba abakwazi ukudibana nawe kumgangatho wokudanisa, abanakudanisa nawe.
Intsebenziswano yinto yonke. Ngaba banokudibana nesiqingatha sendlela? Ngaba banokwenza umsebenzi ofanelekileyo ukuze babe kubudlelwane kunye nawe? Ukuba abanakho ukusebenzisana nawe, kutheni belapho nje? Ukuthanda umntu akonelanga Ukuba benza ubomi bakho bube nzima ngakumbi, hamba uhambe. Ungadanisa njani nomntu ongazukungena kumgangatho wokudanisa kunye nawe?
3. Ukuba ufuna ukuba bohluke ukuze ubathande, hamba uhambe.
Vumela abantu ukuba bangobani kwaye ukuba bangobani abasebenzeli wena, yenza inyathelo lakho elilandelayo ngokufanelekileyo. Kodwa nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho. Awunakho ukutshintsha abanye abantu; ungatshintsha kuphela. Ukuba ufuna umntu atshintshe, awumthandi. Ufuna babe ngomnye umntu. Bathande ngokwaneleyo ukuba ubayeke babe ngoobani kwaye bahambe.
4. Ukuba ulahlekile kubudlelwane, hamba.
Ukuba awusazazi ukuba wahlukile kubani ubudlelwane, hamba. Isazisi sakho asizalwanga ngaphandle kobudlelwane. Ukuba uluvo nje lokuba wedwa luyoyikeka kangangokuba lukugcine ungonwabanga umile kubudlelwane obungonelisiyo, hamba uhambe. Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukonwaba ngaphambi kokuba wonwabe kubudlelwane. Zinike indawo yokukhumbula ukuba ungubani.
5. Ukuba ukuhlala kwenza izinto zibe mandundu, hamba.
Ukuba unxunguphalo kunye neengxabano ziyenyuka, ubaleka ubudlelwane emhlabeni. Nika iqabane lakho ithuba lokuva le nto ubusele uyithetha. Ukunyanzela ukuba uve umntu uya kubavala kuphela. Thatha ixesha. Sasaza iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ukuze imeko iziphilise.
6. Ukuba uzama ukufumana okudingayo kubo endaweni yokubavumela ukuba bakunike oko banako, hamba uhambe.
Ukufuna akuyi kuze kuzaliseke iimfuno zakho. Ukuba awanelisekanga koko bakunika kona, hamba uhambe. Awunakho ukwenza ukuba abantu bakunike oko banganako ukukunika. Konke onokukwenza kukuxelela into oyifunayo uze ubuye umva. Ukuba banokunika, baya kuthi, kwaye ukuba abanako, bahambe.
7. Ukuba uya uswela, hamba uhambe.
Ukuba ufuna imeko yahluke ukuze wonwabe, hamba. Xa uhlala kwindawo engaziva mnandi, uye uswele. Ayisebenzi. Obo bunzima budala imiqobo ekufumaneni le nto uyifunayo. Yeka ukunika amandla akho kwiqabane lakho. Qala ukuzinika into oyifunayo. Thatha ikhefu kubudlelwane ukukhumbula ukuba nguwe wedwa okhe ufune.
8. Xa uqhubeka uthetha kodwa kungabikho nto itshintshayo, hamba uhambe.
Ukuba amazwi omntu angahambelani nezenzo zabo, hamba. Xa beqhubeka bekuxelela enye into kwaye besenza enye into, le nto bakuxelela yona ayiyonyani. Banike ixesha kunye nendawo yokuhambelana neenjongo zabo. Okwexeshana, zikhuphe kwi-equation ngokuhamba.
9. Xa ingasaziva mnandi nje, hamba uhambe.
Xa uhleli ngaphesheya engasenzi ukuba intliziyo yakho icule, okanye xa usendaweni yokutyela nomntu kwaye ukhetha ukuhlala ekhaya usitya i-ayiskhrim kunye nekati yakho, okanye xa ubaleka uzive ungcono kakhulu kunokuhlala, mamela ngokwakho. Ungazami ukuyinyanzela ukuba yahluke. Musa ukwenza ubudlelwane bube yinto engeyiyo. Yamkele kwaye uthathe indawo. Ukuba ubudlelwane benzelwe wena, buya kuqala kwakhona phantsi kwendlela. Kodwa awukwazi ukufikelela apho ukusuka apha. Iimvakalelo zakho sisalathiso sakho esicacileyo sokuba yintoni esebenzayo nengasebenziyo.
Ukuyeka ubudlelwane obungonelisiyo kukwamkela ukuba ufuna ngcono. Ukuhlala kubudlelwane obungonelisiyo sisigwebo sentambo. Into kufuneka itshintshe ukuze kube ngcono ukuza. Yiba nesibindi wenze olo tshintsho. Ngokuhamba, uza kufumana uhlobo olungcono lolwalamano xa iqabane lakho lisenza lo msebenzi, okanye uya kufumana iqabane elingcono. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, uphumelela ngokuphulukana nento ebingakusebenzeli. Nanini na xa ukulungele ukuhamba, indlela yakho entsha ilindile.
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