Kwakusehlotyeni ngo-1996, kwaye umbhali uGeorge Plimpton wayehleli ejongene noBill Clinton kuMkhosi woMoya 1 kwindlela eya kwimidlalo yeOlimpiki eAtlanta. Umnumzana Plimpton, owayekwi-Sports Illustrated, wacela uMongameli ukuba athathe umcimbi we-Olimpiki apho wayeza kukhuphisana khona.
Uphendule i-decathlon, utshilo uMnu Plimpton. Uthe kungenxa yokuba, phaya, ubuneendlela ezili-10 onokuthi ugxile kuzo… Kwaye kuyacaca ukuba unawo amandla okwenza oko, naye. Le yindoda ekwaziyo ukuma kwaye inike intetho kwaye ungazi-ngubani ovela ngasemva kwentloko yakhe.
Ngelinye igama, uBill Clinton luphawu lwesizwe lweempawu ze-neurotic ezibonakalise njengenkcazo yokuzichaza kwabangaphezulu kuyo yonke indawo: Kwaye, nkwenkwana, ngaba unakho ukwahlulahlula. Akuzange ngaphambili ubomi bobuntu baseMelika bube lingqina kwindoda enokuvula kwaye ivale iingcango ezininzi zengqondo yakhe kunye nomphefumlo ngokuzithemba okuzithembisayo. Ilizwe libukele ngokumangaliswa kunye nesicaphucaphu njengoko uBill Clinton ezihlukanise no-Bill Clintons-umkrexezi, utata olungileyo, umyeni othembekileyo, umyeni o-lousy, ixoki, umntu othetha inyani, i-empath, i-charmer, i-politico , umgaqo-nkqubo wonk, indoda eyayithanda uYitzhak Rabin, indoda eyaphulula u-Yasir Arafat, umenzi woxolo, umjukujelwa wemijukujelwa, inkululeko, intlalontle, umlamli wokuziphatha, umlukuhli. Ngaba u-polymorphous? Ngaba ukhohlakele? Nguye lo mntu uToni Morrison wabhala ngaye, UnguMongameli wethu wokuqala omnyama. Ukanti akangomntu umnyama. Uqeqeshiwe nje, njengesizukulwana sakhe, ukuba abe zizinto zonke kubo bonke abantu, nabafazi. Kwaye akukho kakhulu kuyo nantoni na komnye umntu.
Uhlulwe kwicandelo.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni, iipesenti ezingama-62 zelizwe ziyamthanda lo mfo.
Kwaye iipesenti ezingama-62 zelizwe eliqokelelweyo bathi abanakumthemba.
Kuba kanye njengokuba uBill Clinton kwakudala wakhetha ukushiya umlinganiswa ongqongqo ngenxa yokuziqhelanisa ne-cagey, nathi, sikrokrela ukuba inokuba kuphela kwendlela yokusinda kwinkulungwane entsha kaMad Max. Ukwahlulahlulwa kwamacandelo yinto ye-neurosis yexesha lethu, indawo yokusabela ngokwengqondo yabanelungelo kunye nabaphangiweyo. Sisifo soluntu esinokhetho olungenasiphelo. Unengxaki? Yenza iwindow entsha yayo!
Ukusukela oko uMonica Lewinsky watyhutyha indawo yonyaka ophelileyo, amaRiphabhlikhi azama ukusithengisa ngomlingiswa, kwaye khange kusebenze. UGeorge Bush wayenobuntu. Wenza njalo uBob (ndiyindoda nje) uDole. Kodwa isimilo sisithintelo esithintela eli xesha; ikugcina ungenzi yonke into oyifunayo. NjengoMongameli wethu, asifuni ukukhanyela nantoni na, asifuni ukuxinwa, asifuni ukwenza umsebenzi onzima wokudibanisa. Sonke sifuna ukushukuma simahla. Sifuna ukubonisa iinguqulelo zethu kuwo wonke umntu. Kwaye asifuni ukuphoxa mntu. UDick Morris uxelele ntoni uMongameli? Abantu baseMelika bayakwamkela ukukrexeza, kodwa hayi ubuxoki. Yintoni ukukrexeza? Ibonisa uthando kubantu abaninzi kakhulu. Yintoni ubuxoki? Kuyabanjwa kuxokwa.
Xa uLinda Tripp uxelele iikhamera zeTV, ndinguye, wahlekwa eqongeni. Kungenxa yokuba enzulwini yezantsi besisele sisazi: uBill Clinton yayingathi. Sonke sinokukwazi-okanye ngubani owaziyo okwenzekayo emva kweentloko zethu. Kwaye siyaqhubeka nokumangaliswa yindoda eye yakwazi ukuyikhupha. Kude kube kutshanje.
Xa iscandal saqhekeka okokuqala ngoJanuwari ophelileyo, kwaye kwafuneka ahambise idilesi yakhe yoBumbano, uClinton wabetha isityholo esikhulu esebenzisa amandla akhe okubeka indawo, utshilo umbhali ngobomi bukaClinton uDavid Maraniss Zonke iisenethi kunye nabaphathi beCongress eholweni babejonge kuye, bezibuza, ‘Ngaba ngekhe ndiyenze le nto? Ngaba ngendiqwalasele kule ntetho ngelixa yonke into isaphuka phakathi kwam? '
Umnumzana uClinton unokuba ngumboniso ophambili wecandelo lamagumbi, kodwa jonga ngeenxa zonke eNew York. Kwisixeko esikhula kakuhle ngoluvo lwayo yonke into eqhubeka ngokuqhekeka ngeenxa zonke, sijikelezwe sisixeko esinamagumbi. Kungenxa yokuba akukho mntu ufuna ukuyivuma.
Amagumbi ekugqibeleni kufuneka enze isigqibo: idosi esempilweni yokuzicekisa inokubaqhuba ukuba batshintshe ubomi babo, okanye kufuneka bathathe isikali sokutshatyalaliswa kwabo, kwiBill Clinton. Ukuba kuphela ukuthula ingxolo enganyamezelekiyo yabo bonke abo bavula kwaye bavale iingcango.
Kwelinye icala, ngekhe uphumelele kubomi beli xesha ungakhange usebenze kwicandelo, utshilo uPeter Kramer, umbhali we-Listening to Prozac. Le nkcubeko iyabathanda abantu abakwaziyo ukungabi lusizi ixesha elide, ukuba bhetyebhetye kakhulu, ukubeka izinto ecaleni nokudlulela phambili. Kwelinye icala, kukho ilahleko ethile ebandakanyekayo, ngendlela esicinga ukuba luphawu lomntu olupheleleyo lokuchaphazeleka ngokunzulu zizinto; ukuba wenze into engalunganga kukho ubunyulu bokuhlala nayo, uyicingisise, ushukunyiswe ngandlela ithile kwiinguqu ezinzulu, kwaye uzive ungumntu wonke. Leyo yinto efanelekileyo yengqondo enokuthi iphikisane nale nto, ukuba ukwazi ukuthi 'Ewe, kwakubi, kwaye ngoku, yintoni kwi-ajenda yam namhlanje?'
Ukwahlulwa kwamacandelo yinto esivumela ukuba sigxile, utshilo uSharyn Wolf, ugqirha wezengqondo wase West Village kunye nombhali wencwadi ethi Fifty Ways to Find a Lover. IManhattanites inesikhuthazo esikhulu esivela kuzo zonke iintlobo zeendawo ezisebenza entloko ngalo lonke ixesha… Umfazi othi xa esekhaya, abe ngumama, xa eseofisini, abe ligqwetha, xa esepatini, ulungile, ulungile dancer-compartmentalizing yinxalenye yento esincedayo ukuba nje sibe nje ngalo mzuzu. Ngokusisiseko, ukuba awunawo nawuphi na umba wokwahlulahlulwa kwamacandelo, mhlawumbi unesi sifo.
UGqirha Bertram Slaff, ugqirha wezifo zengqondo onxulumana neSibhedlele iMount Sinai onendawo yabucala kwi-Upper East Side, naye unembono efanayo. Andiqondi ukuba kufanele ukuba kucingelwe malunga nokugula, utshilo. Kubonakala kum yindlela yokuphelisa abantu abaninzi abanayo, eyokuba nento yokuba ngumzali, kunye nento yokuba ngumntu wentlalo, kunye nento yokuba ngumsebenzi. Andiyicingi njengeyona nto iphosakeleyo kodwa njengento eyiyo. Ifuna ukuba sikwazi ukubeka izinto ngokubaluleka, into esinokuthi siyijolise.
Nangona kunjalo, uGqr.Jerome Levin, ugqirha wezengqondo waseNew York kunye nombhali wepapasho elipapashwe nje I-Clinton Syndrome: UMongameli kunye neNdawo etshabalalisayo yoTywala, ucinga ukuba uyayazi i-First Compartmentalizer kakuhle. Ndithelekisa uClinton neTitanic, utshilo, owayenala magumbi manzi, kodwa baya kuphela kumgangatho wesithandathu. Akuba amanzi ewelile, inqanawa yazika.
Inqanawa yatshona, ewe, yi-blowjob, isenzo sesondo esonyuliweyo kumgangatho wemihla ngemihla. Ukwahlula amalungu akho esini kwabanye, utshilo uGqirha Levin. Akukho buhlobo bokwenyani apho, ngaphandle kokuba umzisa kwi-orgasm.
UMonica Lewinsky wayeyifuna ngokwenene, utshilo uMnu Plimpton. Waqhubeka embongoza, ‘Yifake kum.’ Isizathu sokuba angayenzi: uqeqesho. Wazigcina ekuhambeni konke. UClinton kumele ukuba wayezixelela ukuba nangona babonwabile, kufuneka ndilumke. Akufuneki ndihambe yonke indlela.
UMongameli wafunda kwangethuba. Le ndlela yokwahlulahlulahlula into ayisiyonto intsha kuClinton, uxele uMnu Maraniss. Ibuyela ebuntwaneni bakhe… Umama wakhe wamfundisa indlela yokudala indalo ezahlukeneyo zokumnceda ukuba aqhubeke. Njengomfazi wekhoboka lotywala, yayiyinto enye awayefanele ayenze.
Ke kwakhona, ngamanye amaxesha ukwahlulwahlulwa kwamacandelo kwenza ukudumba kwabantu abalala nabo. Isibini esinegunya kwezopolitiko uMary Matalin noJames Carville baphumelela ngokobuqu nangobungcali ngokwenziwa kwamacandelo. Ngexesha lephulo lika-Mongameli lowe-1992, UNkosazana Matalin uxelele i-Los Angeles Times, kuye kwafuneka ndilungiselele usana lwam u-James no-Carville i-Ax-Ukubulala uMcebisi ovela esihogweni, ubuso babo bendifuna ukubakrazula yonke imihla.
Ukusukela oko kwaqhekeka ihlazo lika-Lewinsky, utshilo uNkskz Matalin, umzi wabo odibeneyo okwethutyana ubuyile. Isigqibo sam soNyaka oMtsha kukuba angabe esamkhupha umyeni wam kwiziphene zikaMongameli, utshilo iintsuku ezine ukuya ku-1999. Kubi kakhulu kunokuyeka ukutshaya. UNksz Matalin uthe ukungafani kwabo malunga nomcimbi kaMonica kuhambelana neengxoxo zabo malunga nokukhupha isisu. Ngokucacileyo kufuneka sihlukanise amacandelo ngoku ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Kunyaka ophelileyo lolona vavanyo luphezulu lwamandla am okwenza oko ngaphakathi endlwini.
Abantu baseNew York abavuma ukuhlukaniswa kwamacandelo bathambekele ekuyilahleni njengeyona nto intle, ubuchule bokulawula ixesha. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiziva, kulungile, oko kunxulumene nam, utshilo uKate White, umbhali weeMfihlo eziThoba zaBafazi abafumana yonke into abayifunayo kunye nomhleli osandula ukumiselwa oyintloko ye-Cosmopolitan. Ndikhumbula umsebenzi wam wokuqala woku-oyintloko, kwiphephancwadi i-Child, kwaye kwakunjani xa yonke into iphumle ngokwenene kuwe kwaye ngandlela thile ungumnini wayo. Ngethuba lokuqala, khange ndivele ndimbakraze ucango emsebenzini ndize ndilibale ngawo. Yahamba nam. Ndandihlamba unyana wam oneenyanga ezili-9 kwaye ndaqonda ukuba ndicinga ngale magazini. Emva koko wahlulahlulahlulahlula i-presto! Konke kwakulungile.
Ndicinga ukuba ukuba ufuna ukuya phezulu ngeendlela ezininzi, nakweyiphi na imboni, ekufuneka ubenakho ukuzipholela xa usenyuka, kwaye uninzi lwayo kufuneka lubenecandelo, utshilo uMama ku-Umbhali oPhezulu uNancy ngoLwesihlanu, otshatele kumhleli weTime Inc. kwintloko uNorman Pearlstine. Ibotshelelwe kakhulu kwikhondo lomsebenzi, ineenjongo zeshishini. Indawo yokusebenzela yindawo yokusebenzela kwaye awufuni ukuzisa iimvakalelo zakho kuyo. Ngaba umyeni wakhe, ewe, uyazi…? Makhe ndibeke ngokulula, utshilo. Wayenamacandelo ahlukeneyo xa ndadibana naye, kodwa bendisoloko ndicinga ukuba lowo ngumsebenzi wokuqala owenzayo ekwenzeni ukuba indoda ikuthande, kukuthetha naye ukuba alahle loo miqobo. (Umnumzana Pearlstine khange abuyise umnxeba ufuna izimvo.)
Iimfuno zomlinganiswa ziphezulu kakhulu apha [eNew York], utshilo uNkskz. Wolf, ugqirha. Ukukwazi ukwahlulwa kwiindawo eziliwaka kubaluleke kakhulu. Ishishini elilula lengxolo elijikeleze thina! Ishishini elilula lokuba kufuneka senze malini ukuhlawula irente. Ishishini elilula lohlobo lwemilo abantu abalindele ukuba sibe ngayo ngandlela thile.
UNawomi Wolf, iRhodes Scholar, umama, umfazi, usana lwasemva kobufazi, umbhali we-anti-makeup, umbhali wepro-makeup, osandula ukubuyisela iNew Yorker, wayenayo le nto ayithethayo ngesifo se-C: Nabani na kolu hlobo lwe-alpha, hyper, impumelelo Inkcubeko -yokuqhuba iyakhuthazwa kwaye iyavuzwa ukwahlula nayiphi na into kubo ebuthathaka, entsonkothileyo, okanye ebuthathaka… Ndicinga ukuba sesinye sezifo ezikhulu zoluntu oluhambele phambili kwezorhwebo, esingadityaniswanga. Kuyingozi, kuba okukhona kugcwele amacandelo, kokukhona ungazichaza ukuba ulungile.
Ngaba iiRhode Scholars, njengoMongameli, zichaphazeleka ikakhulu? Ukuba le nto uthetha ngayo kukunganyaniseki kwisiqu sakho, ngokuqinisekileyo isidingo sokubonisa umphambili ogqibeleleyo, i-facade egqibeleleyo ivelisa-ndiyathetha, yindlela yokwenza ukunganyaniseki, kwabanye nakwisiqu, utshilo. Andizukucinga ukuba izifundiswa zaseRhode ngaphezulu kwakhe nabani na kukhuphiswano lwethu lwempuku, olumalunga nokhuphiswano kunye nokuzimisela ze kudityaniswe amaxabiso okwenyani.
Ucinga ntoni ngomntu awayefunda naye eRhodes e-White House? Andikwazi ukuthetha ngaloo nto! Utshilo embetha la gumbi. Ndineengxabano ezininzi zamaqela, amaqhina omyeni wam kwi-White House njalo njalo. Kodwa ndingathetha malunga nokuhlukaniswa kwamacandelo njengento. Umzekelo, wathi, andinakunyamezela ukuza neefoto zentombi yam xa ndihamba ngeshishini, kuba ngekhe ndikwazi ukumshiya ukuba ndinento ebambekayo yokundikhumbuza ngaye.
Ngaba impumelelo ifuna ukwahlulwahlulwa?
Ndicinga ukuba yindlela entle kakhulu yokuzilungiselela. Andicingi ngayo kakhulu, utshilo uManhattanite Todd Solondz, umlawuli wefilimu u-Happiness, kunye nengcali yayo yezengqondo-utata-pederast ophambili. Ngabalinganiswa kumdlalo bhanyabhanya, Mnu. Solondz uthe, bendicinga ukuba bayasebenza… ndiyathetha, uyazi, bonke babenemisebenzi kwaye bekhathalela, belawula iintsapho zabo njalo njalo, kwaye babelungile ngokwasemzimbeni.
UTom Freston, usihlalo weeMTV Networks, ukhumbula ukukhula kwakhe kwihlabathi apho ukuhlukaniswa kwamacandelo kwakulula. Utata wabonakala ngathi ubomi bakhe buhlukaniswe ngokupheleleyo, utshilo. Uya kuphuma emsebenzini nge-5 PM, mhlawumbi aye kwinkomfa ngonyaka, kwaye iyakuba yiyo. Umnumzana uFreston unexesha elinzima ngakumbi. Ngazo zonke izinto ekufuneka siziphethe ngoku, iiselfowuni kunye nee-beepers, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba kunzima kwaye kunzima ukwenza i-compartmentalize nokumisa izinto kubomi bam beshishini obungena ebomini bam, utshilo. Isiseko sowe-1984 yayikukuba urhulumente wayekujongile. Ngoku yandisile: Ngabahlobo bakho, abantu osebenza nabo.
Thatha uJosh Byard, ophuma neenkwenkwezi eNew York's Silicon Alley, 27, owayesakuba ngumntu wePR. Ndihlukaniswe kakhulu, utshilo. Umzekelo, ndineqela labahlobo endibaziyo xa bendisekholejini endenza izinto ezithile nabo, kwaye ke ndinabantu endisebenza nabo endivana nabo, kwaye ndinabahlobo bam Ndidibene okoko ndiphumileyo ekholejini, kwaye kunqabile kakhulu ukuba ndidibanise abantu ngaloo ndlela.
Abanye baliva igama elithi ukwahlulwahlulwa kunye nokuthotywa. Umbono wokwahlulwa kwamacandelo uneempawu ezifanayo nesepha yase-Ivory, utshilo uGqirha Robert Cancro, usihlalo weSebe lezeengqondo laseNew York University. Yi-99.44 yepesenti ye-froth. Kutheni le nto kufuneka sichaze indlela abantu abahlangabezana ngayo nobunzima ngelixa beqhubeka noxanduva lwabo lwemihla ngemihla? Into omele uyikhumbule kukuba izinto ezilula kakhulu kunabantu ziyakwazi ukuziqhelanisa. Kukho ukutyekela ekukholelweni ukuba nanini na into inikwa igama, ikhona. Ukunika eli gama ngaphaya kokuziqhelanisa kunye nokujamelana nayo kusisidenge.
UGqr.Slaff wayeqhele ukuvuma. Ngokuqinisekileyo uyazi, utshilo, ukuba kukho amadoda amaninzi anabafazi ababekwa kumanqwanqwa abo bawahloniphayo, kwaye bayonwaba kwaye bahenyuza. Ayikuko ukwahlulahlulahlula? Kucingwa ngokubanzi njengenxalenye yehlabathi lokwenyani.
Kula Mongameli, uGqr.Slaff uthe, Ndicinga ukuba wayenempundu! Uneminyaka engama-52 ubudala, kwaye ngaba abantu abakubudala banelungelo lokuba yi-horny? Ewe kunjalo!
Kwixesha elidlulileyo, xa sasiva umntu ethetha enye into, esenza enye, sasicinga ukuba kukuhanahanisa nje, utshilo uGqirha Gail Reed, ugqirha wengqondo wase-Upper East Side. Kwaye ngokujonga nje isimilo sangaphandle, si… Kodwa yintoni esiyiqwalaselayo ukuba umntu akayazi ncam le ayenzayo? Kukho amanqanaba awahlukeneyo abantu abanganyanisekanga ngezinto ezibenza babe neentloni, ukusuka kolona hlobo lwengqondo lokuxoka (xa umntu ebazi ngokupheleleyo ubuxoki) kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuzama ukuzikhusela kwintlungu kunye neentloni kuba benze into abayaziyo ukuba bekungafanelekanga ukuba bayenzile.
UClinton ayingomntu wokuqala ekuthethwe ngaye, utshilo umbhali wentetho uPeggy Noonan, owayeyingqondi ekuthatheni amacandelo ahlukeneyo kaRonald Reagan kunye noGeorge Bush kwaye wabasongela kwindawo enye yokukhanya. Kwathiwa kwiminyaka engama-30 eyadlulayo, ndincoma uJohn F. Kennedy, utshilo uNkosazana Noonan. Kwimeko apho, babethetha ntoni ngezo ntsuku xa babesithi umntu unesipho sokubekwa ngokwecandelo, babethetha ngohlobo lokuba wayenesiphiwo jikelele esinokuhamba sivela kolunye uxanduva ukuya kolunye, kwaye ngubani onokulinganisela engqondweni yakhe . Yayigqalwa njengesiphiwo sobukrelekrele; ngoku ijongwa njengenkqubo yeemvakalelo.
Kwaye abanye abantu baseNew York? Sisixeko esinamagxa anzima esinaso apha, utshilo. Izele ziingqondi, abo bathatha umngcipheko, abaphuphayo… nokwenza izinto zidideke ngakumbi, uninzi lweengqondi, abathatha umngcipheko, abaphuphi, nabo bayasebenza. Ke, ngaba baninzi abantu eNew York abaya kuthi, mhlekazi, ndenza icandelo, nam? Ewe zikho. Kwaye ndicinga ukuba ezinye zazo zinokuthetha into elungileyo malunga nayo.
Omnye waseNew Yorker, uGeorge Stephanopoulos-Washingtonian-wajika-West Side umhlali, umphengululi waseRhodes, uStirmasterer, umncedisi weNdlu yeWhite, umqeshwa weendaba zeABC, ilungu leFakhalthi yeYunivesithi yaseColumbia-wayenegama lokugqibela ngesihloko.
Ukwahlula-hlula, utshilo, naye uClinton. Ndiyaxolisa.
