IHouston: Umzobo osondeleyo
Ngokuhlwa kwangoAgasti 12, eHouston inkwenkwezi ye-porn yayilungiselela ukuya eqongeni kwigumbi lokunxiba elingaphantsi kweLegz Diamond's Burlesque Theatre, iklabhu ye-strip enganxibanga, engenanto yotywala kwi-West 54th Street, ngaphesheya kwe-Ed Sullivan Ithiyetha.
Kwakukho isiqingatha seyure ngaphambi kwexesha lokubonisa uHouston wayehleli ze esihlalweni efaka isicelo sakhe. Iinwele zakhe ezimhlophe zatsalwa zabuya umva. Wayesela i-cherry epholile kwaye etshaya i-Marlboro Ultra Light. Ngandlel 'ithile yayifana nje nemeko yokuncinwa kwabafazi kwi-Basic Instinct. Kodwa ngezinye iindlela, kwakungekho njalo. UMarc Medoff, umfoti waseHouston kunye neqabane lakhe kwezoshishino, wayethatha imifanekiso.
Ndifuna ukwenza iifoto ngelebia, utshilo uHouston, ethatha into ebonakala ngathi yeyomfanekiso oqingqiweyo. Kwakuyizicucu ezintathu ezisuswe ngotyando zeelebhu zakhe ezifakwe eLucite kwindawo emhlophe.
Ndifuna imilebe encinci ye-pussy, u-Houston ucacisile ngokusebenza kwakhe iiyure ezimbini ekuqaleni kwalo nyaka. Ubala ukuba uzakufumana i-100, 000 yeedola kwimifanekiso eqingqiweyo yeelebhu. Isibhakabhaka ngumda, utshilo.
Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo sicinga ukuba kukho i-schmuck ngaphandle phaya, utshilo uMnu. I-Houston yeyona nkwenkwezi idumileyo, eyaziwa kakhulu nge-porn ngalo lonke ixesha.
U-Houston waqala ukwenza iphonografi eneminyaka engama-27. Ube ngaphezu kweefilimu ezingama-200 kwaye uhamba ehlabathini esenza ukubonakala uninzi lonyaka. WayeseManhattan iveki, esenza eLegz kwaye ethengisa eyona bhanyabhanya yakhe idumileyo, The World's Biggest Gang Bang III: IHouston 500, apho walala khona namadoda angama-620 ngosuku olunye. Uyaziwa eNew York ngokuya kwi-prom eneminyaka eli-18 ubudala kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo saseStaten Island njengenxalenye yokhuphiswano kumdlalo weWoward Stern. Yabubusuku bakhe bokugqibela eLegz Diamond.
Umnumzana Medoff ngoku wayemdubula ngemifanekiso eqingqiweyo yelebia. Sondela, usondele ebusweni bakho, wayalela. Sondela elulwimini lwakho, ngokungathi uyayikhotha impundu yakho. Inencasa njani? Kulungile. Kulungile. Kulungile. Ngoku yiphakamisele esidleleni njengangaphambili. Kulungile. Egqwesileyo. Kulungile, yibambe phantsi ngepussy yakho ukuze sikwazi ukuthelekisa ezi zinto zimbini. Kodwa squat phezulu kwayo-ewe, intle. Awww, ugqibelele, ugqibelele. Yibambe. Ikhamera inengxaki yokujonga. Kulungile. Kulungile. Kulungile. Enye kwakhon. Ibuhlungu?
Kushushu apha, utshilo uHouston.
Kulungile, squat umva ngaphezulu kwayo. Ndijonge, watsho. Yiyo leyo!
Abantu abaninzi bayalazi icala loluntu laseHouston inkwenkwezi ye-porn, kodwa bambalwa kakhulu abayaziyo eyona Houston. Icala ahlala ezifihlile kuluntu.
Ndihambahamba kwihlabathi liphela ndibulisa abantu. Ndizise, ntoni, i $ 1,000 yokutya kweenja kwindawo yokuhlala izilwanyana ePoland. Ndabeka iintyatyambo engcwabeni lamajoni angaziwayo ePoland. Ndifuna ukuqhuba umbono odlulileyo kwiinkampani ezingamanyala ukuze bonke abadlali abaphambili kumzi mveliso wabadala benze imovie, ibizwe ngokuba yi-United Sibeka kwaye sinike yonke imali kwiNtlanganisela yeNtetho yeFree. Ukuba andinabo, andinawo umsebenzi.
Uthe uxhasa u-Al Gore kuMongameli: Andiqondi ukuba senze into ephosakeleyo ngoClinton, kwaye ushumayela into efanayo. Ndicinga ukuba kude kufike kumzi mveliso wabantu abadala, sifuna iGore.
Kuthekani ngosodolophu uGiuliani?
Uvale iiklabhu ezininzi endizithandayo. NjengamaWiggles.
Wanxiba umtya omnyama. Wayelungiselela ukuya eqongeni.
UMnu Medoff wathi wayeyazi iHouston iminyaka emihlanu. Amantombazana amaninzi akweli shishini ayimisebenzi yokwenyani, uthe. Kuluvuyo nje ukuba kunye naye.
Houston, ukhe ucinge ukuba uya esihogweni?
Hayi, ndinokholo olukhulu eNkosini kwaye ndiyathandaza kwaye ndinayo le tattoo yengelosi ngasemva kwentamo yam, ngaphambi kokuba ndenze igenge bang, njengohlobo lokuxolelwa kweNkosi. Abazali bam bayaluthanda unqulo. Utata unenkolo kwaye uyandithandazela yonke imihla. Ndisikelelekile! Ndinayo ngokwenene. Umsebenzi wam ngumsebenzi wam kwaye ngandlela thile ndiyehlula ezo zinto zimbini. Ndiyathetha, ndinguKim kwaye ndiseHouston. Elo ligama lam lokwenyani kodwa andifuni abantu balazi.
Wajika waya kuMnu. Medoff. Uyakhumbula ePoland ukuba bandibiza ngokuba nguMchasi-Kristu? Kwaye kukude kakhulu kuloo nto. Ndine tattoo yengelosi entanyeni yam! Ndikwenzile ukubonisa iNkosi ukuba ndiyayithanda kwaye, uyazi, ndiyaxolisa ngale nto. Ndiyenzile kanye phambi kokuba i-gang bang iqhume. ‘Uxolo ngokwenza igenge!’ Kodwa kwakufuneka ndiye apho.
IHouston, iqela lemigulukudu. Ngoba?
Ndikwazile ukuba kunye nabalandeli bam kwaye ndibenobuntu obufanayo imini yonke kangangeeyure ezilishumi kwaye ndiyathandwa. Uyazi, yayiyimpumelelo leyo… wonke umntu weza kum, kwakumangalisa.
Olona suku lubalulekileyo ebomini bakho –yintoni?
Olona suku lubalaseleyo ebomini bam lwalukukuza kukaDallas.
Umboniso weTV?
Intombazana yakho.
IHouston inxibe isinxibo sokwakha iorenji kunye nebhanti yomsebenzi. Ngaphezulu iklabhu yayixinekile kwaye isihlwele sasisiya amandongomane.
Ke kwakhona, Houston! i-emcee yayisitsho.
-George Gurley
Iithiyori zoMoya oMiselweyo
Indalo iphela yaqala njengefriji engenanto, utshilo umlungisi wefriji kunye nomlungisi womoya ococekileyo uNelson Cabezas kutshanje ngaphezulu kwekofu kwiTi yeKombe enkulu nakwiKofi e-Chelsea. UMnu Cabezas ungumnini weAleph Air Inc., inkampani yokulungisa ebaleka evenini yakhe emnyama iFord. WayekwiNdebe enkulu ukulungisa ifriji eyophukileyo kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo. Kuqala [uThixo] udala isithuba, uMnu Cabezas uqhubeke. Emva koko ukhupha amandla kuyo. Amandla aneDNA kuwo. Amandla ayaqhuma, kwaye aqala ukudala iindonga zeendidi ezilishumi ezahlukeneyo – kwaye embindini, yindalo ebonakalayo.
Umnumzana Cabezas, 52, unyana we-Ambassan yase-Nicaragua kwiZizwe eziManyeneyo, wangena kwishishini lokulungisa ifriji ngo-1995, okokuqala nomntakwabo kwaye emva koko, emva kokuba beyekile ukuvana, eyedwa.
UMnu Cabezas unombono wendalo yonke.
Konke malunga nokunyakaza kwamandla. Ndiza kukuxelela ukuba kunjani. I-Con Ed ifumene amawaka kunye namawaka e-volts yamandla kwiinguqu ezinkulu. Kwaye ezo plugs zincinci, baziqhekeza ziye kwi-115 [volts] ukuze ukwazi ukuzisebenzisa. Amanqwanqwa asezantsi anyathela amandla. Injalo ke indalo iphela. UThixo unamandla kangangokuba kuthatha i-10-10-transformers-ukudala uMhlaba. Amandla aguqukela kwimicimbi. Indalo iphela ibhalansi. Xa ulungelelene, ulahla amandla akho esekethe. Ngokukhawuleza xa uziphosa kwibhalansi, umaphuli wesekethe uyayeka. Amandla ombane ayayeka ukuza kuwe, kwaye kuphela amandla angalunganga aqhubeka nokuhamba.
Ucinga ntoni xa ulungisa iifriji?
Kuyingozi kakhulu kum ukugxila kwenye into ngaphandle kwale ndiyenzayo, utshilo. Ndisebenza ngombane ophilayo. Awunakho ukuthatha amathuba. Into endiyifumanayo, nangona kunjalo, kukuba ndinethamsanqa kakhulu ngezinto xa ndisiya emsebenzini. Ngamanye amaxesha izinto azisebenzi. Kuya kubakho into engalunganga ngefriji engayi kuvumela, yithi, isiguquli sombane siqhubeke. Kwaye ke iqala ukusebenza ngequbuliso. Kodwa andiyi kwenza nantoni na kuyo, ndiza kuza kuyo, vula nje. Kukho ukungcangcazela okuninzi endikudlulisayo.
UMnu Cabezas wayenenkcazo yaloo nto, naye.
Ndicinga ukuba konke oku kukulawula amandla ombane asezantsi. Ezinye zazo mhlawumbi azonakalanga ngokwaneleyo ukuba intlawulo elungileyo yamandla aqinisekileyo ayinakuphinda ihambe kwakhona.
Uye waphuma waya evenini yakhe. Kwelinye icala kwakukho umzobo wendalo iphela eneenkwenkwezi ezininzi kunye namanani. Oku kufana nombono wamandla ombane, watsho, eyalatha. Uhlobo lwayo lukhangeleka njenge-grill ngasemva kwifriji- iikhoyili zokujija ezipholisa irhasi phaya emva. Ipeyintiwe kwelinye icala leveni yayinamagama awahlukeneyo kaThixo esiHebhere.
Ngamanye amaxesha ama-Orthodox amaJuda ayamhlupha uMnu Cabezas malunga neveni yakhe. Baya kuthi, 'Awunakuqhuba ngeenxa zonke ngeSabatha ngale nto.' Ndiza kuthi, 'AndingomYuda, sukuza kum. Ndinefilosofi yam. NgamaYuda, konke abacinga ukuba uyafa kwaye yile nto. Kum, ayinangqondo. Oko kufundiswa yiCabala kukuphila ngonaphakade. Ndiza kuphila ngonaphakade. Le asiyonkolo. Le yenzululwazi.
-Ian Blecher
