Uhlawule, uhlawule…(Ifoto: URaul Arias). Ukuthandana kuthathe indawo enobushushu kutshanje. Akuqhelekanga kumfana ophakathi ukuba athathe isihloko se-movie- Imihla yokuQala engama-50 -Kwaye uyijike ibe bubomi bokwenyani, kuphela ngoku isondele kwi-100. Enkosi ngokuhanjiswa komhla kwisaziso somzuzwana usebenzisa ii-Tinder-eziphefumlelweyo zokusebenza, abantu baseNew York bahlala bezingela ukuthandana, nokuba kungokuhlwa kube kanye . Nangona kunjalo, kule mihla ingaphezulu kwama-50, umbuzo wokuba ngubani ohlawulayo awunqunyulwanga kwaye womile njengabantu abalinganayo abangathanda ukucinga.
UChris, indoda eyaziwayo eyaziwayo eMzantsi, wakhulela eNew Orleans kwaye ngoku uhlala eHell's Kitchen. Uqikelela ukuba wahamba malunga nama-75 ukuya ku-100 kwimihla yokuqala ngo-2015, ehamba kuphela malunga nemihla yesibini engama-20 kunye nemihla yeshumi eli-10 (echitha ngaphezulu kwe- $ 10,000). Uhlala ehlawula kwimihla yokuqala, kodwa uyakwamkela ukwahlula itshekhi kunye neqabane lomfazi ngomhla wesihlanu, xa ebajonga njengabasebudlelwaneni. Nangona kunjalo, uhlala efuna umfazi ukuba anikele, nokuba kubandakanya isipaji esingenasiphelo. Imbeko eqhelekileyo ithathelwa phantsi kakhulu kukuthandana, uxelele uMbonisi. 
Azisekho ii-50s; uyahlulahlula ityala ngomhla wokuqala?Ifoto: George Marks / Retrofile / Getty Izithombe
* UChris udibana nabasetyhini kwii-apps zokuthandana, Bumble kwaye UManyano , ubathumelela imiyalezo malunga namaxesha amahlanu ngaphambi kokucela ukudibana. Ngendlela yakhe, akukho sidingo sokuchitha naliphi na ixesha lokucinga ngabantu abakwelinye icala leapp.
Umphathi wepotifoliyo / umntu ongondliyo uzama ukuhamba ngemihla ubuncinci kabini ngeveki. Bendihlala ndenza ezintlanu kwiintsuku ezintlanu, kodwa ndaye ndagula kakhulu kukuthandana kwafuneka ndiyeke, watsho, esongeza ukuba unamaqhinga amabini okuqinisekisa ukuba uyayikhathalela itsheki. Icebo lakhe elilula kukuzithethelela kwigumbi langasese kwaye ahlawule ngelixa engabonakali. Emva koko ungahamba ngaphandle kokungxamela umrhumo oyilwayo, utshilo, eqhubeka nokuchaza ubuchule bakhe bokuthanda izinto, awuchaza njengobumenyezelayo.
Okwethutyana kunyaka ophelileyo, bendinebar endiyithandayo apho ndiza kuthatha yonke imihla yam yokuqala. Ndibazi bonke abathengisi apho kwaye ndibashiyele ikhadi elongezelelekileyo lekhredithi. Ndingahamba ngaphandle kokubanika ikhadi, ndinqande ukungazonwabisi okomzuzwana. Uninzi lwamantombazana lwalubonakala luchukumisekile, nangona bambalwa ababonayo, okanye babecinga ukuba ndinengxaki yokusela. Kwafuneka ndilahle i-racket ethile xa abanye be-bouncers baqala ukwenza iziqhulo malunga nokuba ndibenentombazana eyahlukileyo ebharini ubusuku bonke ngelixa intombazana entsha ihleli ecaleni kwam, utshilo, ecacisa ngenkqubo yakhe malunga neziselo (awayezihlawulele ).
URyan, omnye umphathi wepotifoliyo engama-20 uqikelele ukuba waya kumhla rhoqo ngeveki, esongeza ukuya kuthi ga kwi-5,000 yeedola kunyaka ophelileyo. Umhlali waseNolita ucacisile, Umdaniso wokutshekisha undenza ndizive ndibukhali, ke ndiyabulela xa umhla wam undivumela ukuba ndibatshangatshangise. Isipaji sam sinokukhetha ukuba sahlule lo mthetho uyilwayo, kodwa ngokwenyani ndiyakonwabela ukunyanga umntu endinomdla wokufumana iziselo ezimbalwa. UJared, ilungu le-30 leqela labahlobo babo bezezimali, uqikelele ukuba uchithe ukuya kuthi ga kwi-20 yeedola ngokuthandana kunyaka ophelileyo.Ngomsebenzi wokuthandana, kukho ithuba lokuya kumhla owahlukileyo ngokuhlwa, kodwa uyongeza ngokukhawuleza. 
Kwiphepha lokuthandana leHinge's Instagram page, babelana ngamabali empumelelo anje ngaleIhenjisi Instagram
Ngelixa onke amadoda afuna ukuba abasetyhini ubuncinci banikezele ngokwahlula-hlula itsheki, uninzi alucingi nokuzisa izipaji zabo. UJennifer, intatheli eyazichaza njengongenguye umntu obhinqileyo ongazange alungiselele ukuhlawula ngomhla wokuqala; Uya kunika malunga neenyanga ezintandathu kubudlelwane. UKarla, ongumcebisi ohlala e-Tribeca, uthe, andikhe ndivume ukuhlawula ngomhla wokuqala. Ndicinga ukuba amadoda bekufanele ukuba ayayithatha imali. Xa ebuzwa ukuba ukhe azenze ngathi ubambe itshekhi, wathi, andikaze ndenze nto inkohliso! UKarla uyayiphepha ileyibhile yabasetyhini. Ukuba ngumfazi ligama elilayishiwe, kwaye ngeendlela ezininzi intshukumo yabasetyhini ibenzakalisa ngakumbi abantu basetyhini kunokuba iluncedo. Amadoda ngoku anokuhamba ngokunyanga abantu basetyhini kakhulu ngenxa yayo.
'Ndiyayiqonda into yokuba umntu uthembisa ukubhatala, inenjongo entle, kodwa ndiyifumana iphelelwe lixesha kwaye ithethelela kancinci.'
Kwelinye icala elibonwayo nguCaroline, umntu osebenza kwezopolitiko ohlala e-East Williamsburg kwaye unyanzelisa ukuhlawula. I-feminist eyazibhengeza ngokungenazintloni yathi, ndiyaqonda xa indoda inikezela ukuhlawula, inenjongo entle, kodwa ndiyifumana indala kwaye ixhasa kancinci. Ukuba indoda iphela ihlawula usuku olunye emva kokwala iinzame zam ezininzi, ndiza kwenza inqaku lokuba ndiza kuhlawula elandelayo… ndicinga ukuba kukho elandelayo. Ecacisa ifilosofi yakhe, wongeze, andiziva ndibona indoda kwakhona ukuba iyahlawula, ke andicingi ukuba umntu usaya kuphinda andibone xa ndenza njalo. Abanye ababhinqileyo abazichazayo abafuni ukuhlawula, nangona benikezela. Umhlali weCrown Heights uKatie ulinda de le ndoda ibambe itsheki ngaphambi kokunikela. Ke, ukuba siyahamba isiDatshi kuyacaca kakhulu xa endigqithisa ngetsheki emva kokubeka imali yakhe okanye ikhadi.
UKurt, ohlala eBushwick nesoka lakhe, uthe akasoloko ethembisa ukuhlawula ngomhla wokuqala, esongeza, Ukuba ucela umntu aphume, ucela ukubakhupha. Ukuhlawula ngomhla wokuqala ubeka umzekelo-uya kuhlawula rhoqo, ngakumbi xa ulifanasini. Ngokungafaniyo namadoda athe ngqo esathetha nawo, uKurt ufuna ukuba isenzo sakhe siqwalaselwe. Mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba ndivela eMzantsi, kodwa ukuba umntu akandibuleli ngokuhlawula, yinto ethathe inxaxheba ngokukhawuleza, wachaza.
'Ukuba umfazi wanyanzelisa ukuhlawula, ndingacinga ukuba akonwabanga ekuhlaleni.
Amashumi amathathu into uRobert wachaza amava akhe ngaphambi kokudibana nentombi yakhe ahlala kuyo. Ukuba umfazi unyanzelisa ukuhlawula, ndingacinga ukuba akahambi ngokwentlalo, utshilo. Intombi yakhe uElla yahamba ngemihla emininzi yokuqala ngaphambi kokuba idityaniswe. Wabelana: Ndicwangcisiwe, kwaye indoda ya-odola isidlo esinexabiso eliphezulu emva koko yaxelela umlindi ukuba sahlulahlula ityala ngokulinganayo. Kwakungekho mhla wesibini.
U-Ella ukholelwa ukuba inkqubo yokuhlawula ithi lukhulu ngalo mhla. Andikhathali ukuhlawula, kodwa kuya kubonakala kungaqhelekanga ukuba lo mfo wayengafuni ukuhlawula ngomhla wokuqala. Ndingacinga ukuba wayengaqhelekanga ngemali okanye wayengenamdla, ucacisile. Ngoku, iminyaka emibini kubudlelwane bakhe, yena kunye nesoka lakhe bahlawula imihla abayicebisayo.
UKen, osandula ukuqhawula umtshato kwi-40-into, usixelele ukuba usebenzisa ngokulula i-2,000 ukuya kwi- $ 3,000 ngenyanga. Indawo yentengiso yokuthandana itshintshe kakhulu kwiminyaka engama-22. Imigaqo, mores kunye nokulindelweyo ziye zatshintsha phantsi kweenyawo zam. UKen ukhetha ii-cocktails kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, kodwa ngenxa yeengxaki zexesha. Ukuba uhlala phantsi nomntu kwaye akukho chemistry, kuyaxaka ukuba nesidlo seeyure ezimbini kunye nabo. Ndilixabisile ixesha lam ngaphezu kwalo naluphi na umahluko weendleko.
Ngokungafaniyo namadoda amancinci ekwenziwe udliwanondlebe nawo, akanayo i-suave, stealth check technique, ngakumbi kuba omabini la maqela ahlala egoduka nabantwana babo. Ukuba uthatha inenekazi uyokusela iziselo, ayisiyonto ifihlakeleyo lixesha lokuphelisa loo nto. Ebuzwa ukuba ulindele nini ukuba umfazi afake isandla, uphendule wathi, benditshatile iminyaka eli-19 kwaye khange yenzeke lonto.
Ngelixa engakhathazeki ukuchitha imali ngeentsuku, akafuni ukuchitha ixesha ukuya kumhla ukuba akukho kungqinelana, ke yena uhlola amaqabane anokubakho ngomnxeba. Ndicinga ukuba ndiyincasa efunyenweyo. Ukuba akakho kum, kungcono ukuyifumana loo nto kwifowuni. Ukuba umntu uthiyile iBritane IOfisi okanye bandixelele ukuba bandifakile kwaye bafuna ukuba bazi ukuba bamthiyile kangakanani uRudy Giuliani, emva koko ndiyazi ukuba asizukugqibela ngokudibanisa. 
Ngomsebenzi wokuthandana, kukho ithuba lokuya kumhla owahlukileyo ngokuhlwa, kodwa uyongeza ngokukhawuleza(Ifoto yekhredithi kufuneka ifundwe i-FRED TANNEAU / AFP / GettyImages)
UDylan, umbhali ohlekisayo ohlala e-Astoria, uthe akakholelwa kwindlela efihlakeleyo ekupheleni komhla. Nangona engakhathazeki malunga nemali ayichithayo, uyazisola ngokuhlawula xa umhla ungaphumeleli. Ke, ucinga, ndichithe i-75 yeedola ukuthetha ngodonga lwezitena. Ndingayala ukuthungwa kancinci, ndihlala ekhaya ndibukele umabonwakude kwaye ndonwabe ngakumbi.
Ukuba iTinder ayinamthungo kwisini, omnye ubhatala ixabiso kuzo zombini-kuxhomekeke nje kwizinto abazimisele ukuchitha kunye noko bakulindeleyo ekubuyiseni. Ngelixa iindima zesini ngokuqinisekileyo ziguqukile, ukwahlula isheke akukho lula okanye kwangoko kusonjululwa njengoko zonke iinkqubo zokuthandana zinokukhokelela ekubeni silindele. Iiapps ziyabadibanisa abantu ngokuswayipha, kodwa ababoneleli ngengcebiso yokuba ngubani omele ahlawule. Mhlawumbi amadoda angaphezulu kunabo bakulungeleyo ukuvuma baneentloni zokuvuma ukuba baziva bekhululekile ukwahlula umthetho osayilwayo kwaye uninzi lwabasetyhini luya kukhetha ngasese umfana ukuba anikezele ngokuhlawula ngokuthe ngqo. Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, i-wallet iyatsha. Ngelixa umdaniso wokuthandana ungatshintshanga, xa itsheki isiza, isixa sinjalo. Kuya kuvela ukuba i-100 yokuqala yemihla yinto ebiza kakhulu, nkqu nakwiibhulorho zezemali ezigqwesileyo zaseNew York. [Amanye amagama atshintshiwe.]
