Umlingisi wezigidi ibuyile, kwaye idangile, kuye kwathandeka.
Zihambile iintsuku apho uPatti kunye neqela lakhe elitshatileyo bebebukela oosozigidi 'abaqhwalelayo-bafaka iividiyo kwiscreen seofisi yabo. Ngoku, abathengi benziwa udliwanondlebe kwiseti entle ebonakala ngathi yinto evela emva kweqonga kwiGrammy, okanye ubuncinci Idol yaseMelika uphicotho. 
Ummm ufike nini lo mboniso, ngathi, uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali?
Okokuqala nguMelyssa Ford, umthengisi wearhente yokuthengisa izindlu nomhlaba oneminyaka engama-37 nongaziwayo eBravo-ulilungu kwakhona Igazi, ukubila kunye nezithende . Ayisiyonto imnandi kangaka: Emuva ngo-Okthobha, elinye lamalungu akhe uxelwe ukuba umbethe ngebhotile yevodka , kwaye kwafuneka afumane ukutya okuyintloko entlokweni yakhe. I-WTF?!?!
Ngapha koko, uMelyssa wayekade ekwiividiyo zomculo, kwaye kunzima ukufumana abafana abakhathalele ngaphezulu kwembonakalo yakhe nje. Kubafana abangafuni nyani ukufumanisa ukuba ndingubani na, intle into yenkunkuma embi, utsho. Yifumane, gurl.
Ngaphambi kokuba sifumane uMelyssa indoda engakhathaliyo ngempundu yakhe, makhe singene kwikomkhulu le-matchmakin. UPatti unomlawuli omtsha wokugaya, uCandace. Nantsi into esiyaziyo ngoCandace ukuza kuthi ga ngoku: usebenze njengomqeqeshi wothando, umqeqeshi wobomi, igqwetha [kunye] nomlingisi, kwaye xa ebuzwa ukuba ufuna ipasta ngesidlo sasemini, uyaphendula, Isaladi kum — ndizama ukuyigcina iqinile . NDIKHUMBULA DESTIN KUNYE NERACHEL KAKHULU INGABAHLOBO . 
lol Patti ndiyayithanda nje isaladi kakhulu
Kodwa ungakhathazeki, nina bantu, i-palti yethu uPatti iyafana njengasekuqaleni. Unempundu enkulu ngeentsuku-uKim Kardashian akananto kuwe, uxelela uMelyssa. Ingxaki? Akasoze amfumane umyeni ukuba ukhokele ngomzimba wakhe. Nix i-vixen, utshilo uPatti. Amadoda awaqondi ukuba ungumntu xa uhola ngesondo. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ingxaki ayinguye uMelyssa, kodwa ukuba uninzi lwamadoda zizidenge, i-pervs ezothusayo? 
Ndihlala ndibonakala ndishushu
Ngaba awukwazi pls Usozigidi wethu wesibini lolunye uludwe lwe-D (ndikuxelele ukuba eli xesha lonyaka beliyinto entle). NguLarry Birkhead, ogama lakhe onokulikhumbula kwidabi lobuzali malunga nentombi ka-Anna Nicole Smith, uDannielynn. U-Larry, ongazange athandane ukusukela ngo-Anna, uhlala noDannielynn eKentucky kwaye uchitha i-hunk elungileyo yexesha lakhe esebenza kwilifa lika-Anna. 
Ngokwenyani uLarry ungamfumana ngokulula umfazi ukuba wenze into ngeenwele zakho.
Owu-indlu yakhe ikwayindawo engcwele ku-Anna Nicole Smith, ekufanele ukuba kumnandi ngokwenene kubo nakweziphi na iintombi ezizayo. 
Akukho nto ithi masilale ngesondo njengeeglasi zokubonisa iglasi ezinikezelwe kwintombi yomntu oswelekileyo
Ngokukrakra, uPatti uxhalabile ukuba uphila kakhulu ngaphambili. Ngokomntu, ndixhalabile ukuba ngaba uPatti unxibe nayiphi na ibhulukhwe (kwaye ukuba akunjalo, ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ubuncinci kulungile ukuba ndinxibe iileggings zokusebenza imini yonke yemihla ngemihla? Ewe? Thx). 
Def akukho bhulukhwe ibandakanyekileyo kule mpahla.
Ukuthetha ngoPatti, kubonakala ngathi ngeli xesha lonyaka uneepesenti ezingaphantsi ezingama-50, kwaye iipesenti ezingama-100 000 ziphilisa ngokomoya. Ukuba uxakeke kakhulu nezihlobo zakho kunye nentombi yakho, awunaxesha lakho, uxelela uLarry. Akukho xesha lokuwa kwaye uzive. Kodwa xa uziva, uyathanda. Uyaqonda? LOL Kulungile Patti.
Ngaphambi kokuba uMelyssa ahlangabezane nemidlalo yakhe enokubakho, uPatti wenza intetho yakhe noGqirha Pat Allen, ekubonakala ukuba nguMgwebi uJudy noGqirha uRuth bangena kwelinye. Njani… kumnandi? Xa udibana nendoda, ngaba ifuna isidima sakho, okanye ngaba ifuna ubufazi bakho? Ugqirha Pat Allen uyabuza. 
Sixelele iimfihlo zakho uGqirha Pat
VAGINA ENCINANE Ekugqibeleni, ugqiba kwelokuba uMelyssa usengoyena mntu uphulukene nendoda kuba ebekhokela kwilungu lobufazi lonke eli xesha. Uyayiva lonto, nina nilusizi, manenekazi angatshatanga? VAGINA ENCINANE.
Andiqinisekanga ukuba uMelyssa ufumene umyalezo malunga nokuxuba i-vixen okanye nantoni na, kuba yile nto ayinxibayo kumxube wakhe: 
Ummmmmm
Uqhubeka ukuba nencoko engathandekiyo kunye neqela lamadoda athathwe ngesandla nguPatti. Uyazi ukuba uphelelwa ziingxoxo zencoko xa umntu ekubuza, ke, ngaba uthandana nezilwanyana? Okwangoku, kukho umfana ogama linguJay obonakala ngathi uyadumba, kwaye uMelyssa uyamkhetha ukuba abe ngumhla wenkosi yakhe.
U-Larry, okwangoku, uthandana ngokungathandekiyo, akafuni nokuba akhethe iqabane lakhe lomhla. Ngelixa uPatti enodliwanondlebe nabasetyhini abanokuba yimini engaboniyo, uLarry kufuneka enze ukuziqhelanisa noCandace. Akuhambi kakuhle. 
Yiza apha rhoqo? (Hayi, kodwa yile nto ayithethayo ngokoqobo)
Nje ukuba uLarry abonakalise ukuba ungangcangcazeli kangakanani, lixesha lokungaboni kwakhe noMichelle, umama wababini okhuphisana ngokungakhathali kwi-jiu jitsu (efanayo). Ngomhla wabo, benza ukhenketho lwangasese kwi-Universal Studios.
UPatti uthe bekufanele ukuba ndingumzingeli-khange athethe nto ngokubulala ookrebe, utshilo uLarry njengoko bedlula Imihlathi . Ndifa kancinci ngaphakathi, kodwa kubonakala ngathi uMichelle uyayithanda. Emva koko, baya kuseto lwengozi yenqwelomoya kwaye uMichelle uzenza ngathi ungumzimba ofileyo (sexy!). U-Larry kufuneka abe kuyo, nangona emhlangula ngokungathi uyintombazana ekubandezelekeni. Ukuqhubeka. 
Ngaba intle le ?! IDK? !!!
wow loo migca icholayo yalomfo incanca Umhla kaMelyssa! Njengomnumzana ofanelekileyo, uJay ukhumbule uMelyssa esithi uyayithanda i-bowling, ke yile nto wayeyicwangcisela umhla wabo. Njengokuba ndibabukele besitya, loo nto ihlazo yenzeka apho ndiqonda ukuba bendihleli ndedwa kwigumbi lam lokuhlala, ndincumile ngokunyanisekileyo ixesha elide. Ngokwenene zibahle ngokwenene kunye. Kubonakala ngathi bayathandana ngendlela i-Intanethi ayinakuze iphinde indithande. 
Yithi cwaka intliziyo yam!
Buyela kuLarry kunye noMichelle. UMichelle kufuneka abe mkhulu Imidlalo yeethrone fan, kuba unxiba njengoMelisandre kwinxalenye yesidlo sangokuhlwa. Emva kokuthetha kancinci, bayayenza Inenekazi kunye neTramp Into yespaghetti kwaye oh thixo kubuhlungu kwaye uyazi nje ukuba uLarry ubukele indlela ezininzi kakhulu Iimuvi zeDisney kunye noDannielynn. Yenze iyeke yenze iyeke. Kulungile, ubuncinci wamanga, ndiyaqikelela. 
Ubusuku bumnyama kwaye bugcwele ispaghetti
Ngeli xesha, uMelyssa noJay banesidlo sangokuhlwa esincinci. Emva kwengxoxo yeemvakalelo malunga notata wabo, uJay uthatha uMelyssa waya naye kwipatio, apho athe walungiselela khona iqela leecuba ukuba batshaye. Kananjalo unethemba lokufumana ukwanga, okubonakala ngathi ngumsebenzi owoyikisayo ukudibanisa ukutshaya icuba, kodwa yintonievs. Emva kokuba uMelyssa embonise indlela yokutshaya-kubonakala ukuba uyangena kwi-cigar-iingoma ezivakalayo ezi-porny ziqala ukudlala, kwaye abo babini baxhomekeke ekuphuzeni. 
Ngaba sikhona isizathu sokuba bayifotele oku kufana nokudubula okungafunekiyo kwepaparazzi okanye…
Emva kwemihla, uPatti ulandela uMelyssa, uJay, uLarry noMichelle. Wonke umntu wayeyithanda imihla yakhe, kwaye uPatti ngoyena mlingisi ubalaseleyo! Kwi-epilogue encinci, sifunda ukuba uLarry noMichelle baceba omnye umhla (ukuphinda-phinda ukwenzeka kwakhona kwenqwelomoya ?!) kwaye uMelyssa wabuyela eNew York wafumana omnye umntu. Ukuncancisa, uJay.
