Usisiqhamo sesinqe sakhe, ukanti ubudlelwane bakho neli bhinqa buya bujika buye kwi-psychodrama ezele ngumsindo. Usuku lukaMama luyasondela, kwaye konke onokucinga ngako kukuba loluphi uhlobo lwesigwebo onokuthi unikwe xa ukrwitshe loo bitch e-hypercritical ngexesha lonyoko kunye nentombi yosuku lobuhle eJanet Sartin. Usengozini yokwenyani yokusebenzisa igama-C ngeCawa umhla we-13 xa umsa kwi-72 yeedola kwi-Union Pacific. Yandisa i-psychodrama ngoku, ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke into embi ngokwenene.
Qala ngokukhumbula ukuba kuthatha ezimbini ukuya kwi-tango, kwaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo udlala iVeda kumama wakho uMildred (bona: UMildred Pierce, i-noir epic yango-1945 edlala uJoan Crawford). Sukuzikhathaza ngokumrhuqa uye kumgqirha wakho-ufuna iziphumo ezikhawulezayo. Ndithetha ngokunyanga okunyulu, umzekelo. Uhambo lukamama kunye nentombi oluya ePie esibhakabhakeni, uxwebhu oluqaqambileyo malunga nowayesakuba ngumzuzi weWarhol uBrigid Berlin, ekhokelwa nguVincent noShelly Dunn Freemont. Ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba, nokuba ungazifaka kabuhlungu kangakanani kwi-psychodynamic phakathi kwakho noMama, uya kuphuma kule ndlela yothusayo yokuziva uqhelekile. Kwaye uthanda uBrigid.
UNks. Kwi-1960's Warhol milieu, wafumana inqanaba lokuziqhelanisa nomboniso wakhe omkhulu kunye nobuntu obugqithisileyo bokunyanzelwa. Ngaphakathi kwimida yeFektri, wayengumntu osebenza ngokuzithandela osebenze ngokupheleleyo owenza igalelo elibalulekileyo kubugcisa benkulungwane yama-20. I-mania kaBrigid yokurekhoda iincoko, i-Polaroiding kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kukujonga monologue unolwazi kwaye ubumbe iziqwenga ezinkulu zecawa yeWarhol. Uye waphefumlela uAndy Warhol, naye ke wamkhuthaza ukuba onwabise u-antics, oko kwakulungile kwaye kuyathandeka-de ilizwi labuyela ku-Honey Berlin, umama wakhe we-Fifth Avenue. I-pie esibhakabhakeni inika iwindow entle kwinto eyenzekileyo xa ulindelo lwezinyosi lukaHoney lwacutheka ngololiwe ohamba ngenqwelomoya kaBrigid's-more and over-over and again.
Nditsalele umnxeba u-Brigid owayesengumntu onobuqili kwaye ndamcela ukuba azibandakanye ngokukhululekileyo malunga nento eyenze i-Honey Berlin ikhathaze. Wanyanzelisa, emva koko wanyanzela ezinye. Umama wayeyintombazana yentlalo yaseNew York – iminyaka engama-22 emncinci kutata wam. Uye watshaya. Akazange afunde iincwadi-kuphela iW kunye neDolophu neLizwe, iHarper's Bazaar, blah, blah. ‘Incwadi yokugqibela endiyifundileyo yayinguRaggedy Anne,’ wayehlala esitsho, ngebhongo. Waya kuyo yonke imiboniso yefashoni kuba uDaddy wayeqhuba umboniso e-Hearst, utshilo uNks.Berlin, ebhekisa ku-Richard Berlin weminyaka engama-52 elawula isigantsontso seendaba. Wayikhupha inkampani ematyaleni; wathengisa amaphephandaba wathenga izikhululo zikamabonakude. Xa uPatty Hearst wayexhwilwe, wayephethe imitya yesipaji, kwaye wayemathidala ukuyeka imali yentlawulelo ukuze ambuyise.
Kwiminyaka engama-61, uBrigid obalaseleyo we-raconteuse (jonga ifilosofi kaAndy Warhol: Ukusuka ku-A ukuya ku-B kunye nokuBuya kwakhona) akulahlekanga namnye wabakhweli bakhe-ingakumbi xa umama wakhe ongasekhoyo esihloko. Kwindlu yethu, kwi-834 yeFifth Avenue, umama wayenetrone yokubonisa inaliti, hayi izindlu zangasese-isiFrentshi kakhulu. Umama uye walala ethambisile. Xa ndandineminyaka eli-10 ubudala ndamfumana uTampax, wandixelela ukuba zezokususa izithambiso. Ke ubusuku ngabunye ndicoce ubuso bam ngekhrim ebandayo kunye neTampax. Wayephethe i-vibrators zeplastiki, kwaye wasixelela ukuba zezentamo yakhe. Andikwazi ukucinga ukuba ulala ngesondo. Wayenxibe izithende ekhaya-endlwini, ngenxa kaKristu! Ndeva uBrigid ekhanyisa iciggie kwaye waphefumlela uTallulah-ishly. Umama khange asebenze, uqhubeke. Wenza iinwele zakhe yonke imihla, ngaphaya kweNdlu yeCharm eMad nase-61st Street. Xa ndandineminyaka eli-11 ubudala, wandinika isigxina.
UBrigid's mamma monologue pingpong ebuyela emva naphambili, ekwazi ukugubungela wonke umcimbi wesemina kunye nendawo kwimbali yenkulungwane ye-20. Ndingathatha ifowuni ibe nguRichard Nixon. Abazali bam bonwabisa uLyndon Johnson, uJ. Edgar Hoover, kwaye bebaninzi abantu baseHollywood ngenxa kaSan Simeon-Clark Gable, uJoan Crawford, uDorothy Kilgallen.
Ubukhosi baseYurophu baphinda badla i-chez Berlin. Ndinebhokisi egcwele iileta, ezibhalelwe abazali bam ngasekupheleni kweminyaka yoo-1940 nowe-1950 ivela kwiDuke neDuchess yaseWindsor. UNks uBerlin uqhubeke nokundifundela ezimbalwa zezi zinto ziphosakeleyo zohlobo lwe-doltish: Ezona zihloko ziphambili bubuKomanisi (imfazwe yemithambo-luvo eqhutywa yiKremlin) kunye nemidlalo yegalufa ezayo.
Ngeminyaka yoo-1950, uNkosazana Berlin wenza into etshintsha ubomi ngabazali bakhe nangabahlobo babo abebengezela. Umama wayeya ePapillon naseKoloni aze abe nemikhonto emithathu ye-asparagus. Wayengu gal onecephe elinye. Ayindim! Wayedla ngokusisa eParis, kodwa wayelichitha lonke ixesha lakhe ekulungiseleleni izixhobo zokulungiselela ukutya, ke mna nodadewethu sabaleka sijikeleza iParis sisidla…. Bonke batya njengeentaka, ndiye ndaqala ukukroba ukutya okungatyiwanga ezinzulwini zobusuku.
Ngenxa yoko, u-Brigid wenza okungathethelekiyo, ubuncinci emehlweni ka-Honey: U-Brigid wafumana i-chubby. Ndathunyelwa kugqirha wosapho ukuba ndiyokufumana iiamphetamines. Ndandineminyaka eli-11. I-Dexedrine, nayo-iintliziyo ezincinci zeorenji. Umama wayeza kuthatha Preludin. Emva koko i-diuretics ithandwa- udadewethu wayengaseli manzi. Wonke umntu wayeyenza. UJack noJackie Kennedy baya kwaMax Jacobson. Ngaphandle kweedosi zokumodareyitha zesantya, ubunzima buqhubekile. Xa ndandineminyaka eli-16 ubudala, umama wam wandithumela esikolweni eSwitzerland, eSt-Blaise, ukuba ndiye kuhla ngeeponti ezingama-50 – kwaye ndandidla ngokuhambisa imali yamanye amantombazana ndize ndiye kwiibhinki zokupheka.
ESwitzerland, u-Teen Brigid waqalisa kwimvukelo ekhuthaza ukuba likhoboka leziyobisi, kwaye iziphumo zazinomtsalane kakhulu kunayo nantoni na eza noRobert Downey Jr. Umntu endandihlala naye sagqiba ekubeni sinxile. Ndamosha kakhulu xa ndisenza imidaniso yaseIndiya. Ndavuka ngosuku olulandelayo, ndafika kukho ikaka phantsi ecaleni kwebhedi yam. Esinye sezidemoiselles sangena egumbini saza sabuza, ‘Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça?’ Ndathi, ‘C’ le le chien,’ ndiyityhola ngenja. Uye wathi ‘C’est trop grand!’ Emva koko babhalela ekhaya abazali bam babaxelela ukuba ndisebenzisa igumbi lam lokulala njengendlu yangasese.
Ngexesha leeholide zesikolo, abazali bakaBrigid bamthumela ukuba asebenze eHarper's Bazaar. Bonke abafazi banxibe iminqwazi – ke nam bendinxiba enye. Umsebenzi wam yayikukuqokelela amatyala eedola kwiileta ezazithunyelwa ngabantu xa becela i-Harper's Bazaar Beauty Box. Umhleli emva koko, uCarmel Snow, wandikhupha ndaya kwisidlo sasemini. ‘Susa loo nto entlokweni yakho,’ utshilo. Ndingazi njani ukuba ngabahleli kuphela abanxibe iminqwazi? Utata wayengumphathi kaKarmeli, ke ndaye ndacinga ukuba ndingumhleli. IVreeland yayikumgangatho wesibini enxibe i-snood.
UBrigid uye wema kancinci ukululeka enye yeepugs zakhe kwaye wahambisa phambili ngokukhawuleza. Nge-18, wagqiba ukufunda kwiConvent ye-Sacred Heart Eden Hall ePennsylvania kwaye wabuyela eNew York kanye ngexesha lakhe lokuphuma-kunye nokuhlaselwa ngokutsha kwentliziyo yomama wakhe. Ndandiqala ukudlala, ngenxa yoko kwakufuneka ndikhaphe abantu ababini. Umama waphambana xa ndandimema umbane owayesebenza kwiingcingo zethu zikamabonakude endlwini yethu eWestchester…. Andikhumbuli enye. ILa Berlin yalayita enye iMarlboro. Ukuhlola iikholeji, uBrigid waxhoma isixeko kunye noWendy Vanderbilt noGeorge Hamilton. Ndicinga ukuba ndichithe ubusuku kunye naye – andiqinisekanga. Ngapha koko, sasidla ngokuya kuMichael II ngomhla wama-70, uMalachy McCourt-mfowabo kaFrank kwi-Third Avenue naseClavin, ejongene neSerendipity yokuqala.
Le minyaka yokutsiba ihamba yaphuculwa kukunyuka kwesantya sokutya. UGqr Freiman – sasimbiza ngokuba nguGqirha Feelgood- wandinika inaliti yam yokuqala engalweni. Wathatha isikhafu sam saseHermès wasisongela wazigquma amehlo wathi, ‘Ndizokukwenza uzive ungcono kunayo nayiphi na indoda ekwenze waziva.’ Ukudubula kwakhe yayiyi-amphetamine, diuretic kunye neB12. Ngelo xesha ndandineminyaka eli-19 ubudala kwaye ndandiphezulu kakhulu, kwaye mna nodadewethu sasiya ngqo eBloomie kwaye siqale ukutshaja.
Ubusi uBerlin wayengekho, ngokukaBrigid, ngokungeyomfuneko ngenxa yokunyuka kokunyuka kwe-amphetamine. Kwakusemthethweni. Imicimbi yakhe nam yayinobunzima kunye nendlela yokuphila. Nangona kunjalo, xa u-Brigid eqala ukuxhoma kunye neetofers, wayichukumisa inene. Umama wayezibiza ngokuba ‘ziipasies.’ Wayefowunela uBill Blass yonke imihla, kodwa ngasizathu sithile oko kwakwahlukile – abahlobo bam babezii-pansies nje! Xa ndandineminyaka engama-21 ubudala, ndatshata nomlungisi wefestile, uJohn Parker. Wayesebenza kwivenkile ngomhla we-57 kunye nowesihlanu ebizwa ngokuba nguMfazi oLungiselelwe. Wayeneefestile ezinzulu edolophini. Ndibazi bonke abasebenza ngefestile phezulu nasezantsi kwivenkile- uJoel Schumacher, uGene Moore. [Mna noJohn] weba uCadillac kaTata wabaleka. Ndirente indlu eCherry Grove [kwiSiqithi seFire]. Sayibiza ngokuba yiBrigadoon. Bendihlala ndisiya edolophini elwandle ngenqwelomoya ukuze ndifumane iitsheki. Ndazibandakanya nazo zonke ezi zikumkanikazi zintle… Jimmy Donohue – ukhe weva ngaye? Ndaphambana, kodwa ndazizuzisa kakhulu. Ndadlula kwi- $ 100,000, kwaye umama wam waya kwi-berserk. Ukuba ebesazi ukuba kuzokwenzekani, i-Honey Berlin ngeyonge amandla akhe.
UBrigid akayikhumbuli kakuhle indlela adibana ngayo noAndy Warhol. Ndicinga ukuba kwakungo 1964. UHenry Geldzahler wandisa kwiFekthri endala, kodwa ndandisele ndisazi ngoAndy kuyo yonke indlovukazi eyayisaziwa njengompu. Ukuthi bayibethile yinto engekhoyo. I-Symbiosis yaseBerlin-Warhol ivelise ubundlobongela obunobunkunkqele kunye nobuhle bokuyila kunye nemiboniso bhanyabhanya- Amantombazana e-Chelsea, iBike Boy, Ukulingisa kukaKristu nokunye. UBrigid, ngoku owayehamba ngegama u-Brigid Polk – kuba ndazifaka kwi-heinie ngesantya-ndade ndarekhodisha izithuko zikanina ngomnxeba ndaziguqula zaba ngumdlalo weqonga we-Broadway.
Iminyaka ibaleka ngokungahambi kakuhle kweziyobisi, utywala, ukutya kunye nokukhathazeka ngokubanzi, kunye nokuzama okungaqhelekanga kokuguqula indlela aziphethe ngayo. Ekuqaleni kweminyaka yama-70, ndaya kwaWoolworth ndathenga ijigger ukuze ndibenesiselo esinxilisayo esinye nje. Ngexesha lokuphuma kwam endlwini, ndandisele ndineminyaka engama-20. Ngelinye ixesha, ndandikumlungisi weenwele phantsi komisi okruqukayo. Ndaya kwi-bar ngaphesheya kwesitrato kwiiroller zam kwaye ndineglasi yewayini emhlophe. Emva koko enye iglasi yewayini kunye nenye. Andikhumbuli enye into de ndivuke eHoward Johnson kufutshane neLaGuardia Airport. Kwaye kukho iipancakes kunye nesiraphu yemephu. Kwakukho inkwenkwe entle egumbini ibukele abantwana bangabantu, nabo. Ndicinga ukuba bendicinga ukuba uAndy angambeka kwisiciko sodliwanondlebe. Akazange.
Ekugqibeleni, kuncedo lukaHoney, uBrigid wagula yile nto ayibiza ngokuba kukuvuka kwizityalo. Akazisoli ngaloo minyaka yokuqhuba unina bonkers. Ndikonwabele, kodwa andikwenzanga ngenjongo. Ukukhula, ndandisoyika abazali bam; babengqongqo. Ndivele ndavukela. Ngoku kunqabile ukuba aphume, kwaye ukunyanzelwa kwakhe ngomlomo kuphele ekuzinkcinkceni kwii-Key Lime pie- yiyo loo nto isihloko sombhalo omtsha.
Ndizama, ndithandabuza, ukugqibezela udliwanondlebe lwethu ngomnxeba wamagama kunye nomdlalo we-acrostics: UMOYA.
M: Izicakakazi! Umama ebeneetoni zazo – esoloko ingabafazi. Akukho bathengisi, kuba basela. Wayengazithandi izibini, kuba benza iyelenqe. Izicakakazi zaseIreland. Omnye wayebizwa ngokuba nguMinnie Curtain.
O: Ukujonga. Ngo-1986, wayelele ebhedini yakhe, esifa ngumhlaza, kwaye wayesabiza abafazi abathengisayo ukuba bafumane ii-Adolfo ezintsha eSaks e-White Plains. Wayebanamathele emnyango ukuze abajonge. Usweleke kwiinyanga ezine emva koAndy.
T: amawele! Amawele akhe aseFrance! Kufuneka ndibene-tweezer kwitafile yam yasebusuku ukuze ndikhuphe iinwele ezilahlekileyo, kunye nesipili esiphakamisa kakhulu-i-X5. Bazithengisa eBergdorf Goodman. Wayexhomekeke kubo.
H: Iinwele. Kwaye kakhulu Cofa iNet. Kwaye u-H ngowobusi-ndathiya igama elibi emva kwakhe. Ndiye ndajika ndaya kuye. Kuyothusa. Wayenelungelo lokucaphuka zizinto ezininzi endazenzayo. Ndingumama ngoku, kwi-pugs-India nase-Afrika yam. Andikuthandi xa bebabiza ngokuba ‘zizinja’ – ngabantwana bam. Kufuneka ndibenemoto nomqhubi; Ndifuna nabo. Yonke imihla sima kwiNtengiso kaGrace kwaye sifumana amabele enkukhu.
E: UEstere, omnye umkhonzazana. Wayenomdla kwaye wayesela, eneenwele eziliwaka. Ngemini yakhe yokuphumla, wayehlala ekhaya apolishe amaqhosha ethu omnyango; Leyo yayiyimbono yakhe yolonwabo.
R: URigaud. Ezi ziluhlaza zantlandlolo. ICypress – wayithenga eParis ngaphambi kokuba uyifumane apha.
Ngokushwankathela – kwakhona – ndabuza uBrigid ukuba uyakhumbula na xa wayethengela umama wakhe isipho ngoSuku looMama. Utata wayehlala esinika isibini see-100 zeedola, waphendula, emva koko waya kwenye indibaniselwano yasimahla. I-Alzheimer's kaDaddy yayimnandi ngokwenene. Wakhanyela yonke into - ‘Aningobantwana bam mna!’ - kwaye wanika intombi kadade wethu osisitabane icuba xa efika. Ndiza kuthengela umama ibhokisi yebhokisi ye-porcelain evela kwivenkile ethile eMadison Avenue. Sibane; Ndaba ngowokuqala. Emva koko uRichie – wabizwa ngegama likatata wam. Emva koko, umntakwethu uRichard kunye nodadewethu uChristina, owalungiselela ukukreqa kukaBaryshnikov. Ndiyakhumbula ukuba uTata wayehamba amandongomane - ‘Ukuba utshata loo commie bastard…!’ Usithumele kwizikolo zamaKatolika. Wayeza kuthi, 'Ubuncinci awuzukufumana ubukomanisi koonongendi!'
Xa uMommie Dearest waphuma, ndaxelela umama ukuba yiyona movie ehamba phambili endiyibonayo. Wayengumhlobo kaJoan. Wathi, ‘Angayenza njani uChristina loo nto kunina?’ Ndamxelela ukuba uJoan ufana naye. Waye- wayedla ngokunqumla kumagunjana ethu awaphosa onke phantsi, ekhangela iijinga zocingo ezibonisa indlela engeyiyo. ‘Ezi mpahla zintle ndikuthengela zona - ngekhe ungene kuzo kuba uyatyeba.’ Iimpahla zarhawuzelela. Ndandidla ngokusika ingaphakathi lemikhono.
Ndiva nje u-Oprah-ish, ndabuza uBrigid ukuba uyamthanda na umama wakhe. Andiqinisekanga ukuba bendimthanda. Andinawo amava amaninzi ngothando. Ndiyamthanda udadewethu uRichie, kwaye ndiyazithanda iipugs zam. Xa u-Honey [pug] esweleke kutshanje, ndaphuma ndayokufumana enye. Kodwa awunakuyenza loo nto nabantu. Ukufa kuyothusa –kungabonakali kakhulu. UAndy uthe ingathi umntu uye waya eBloomingdale kwaye akazange abuye. Ukusweleka kukamama, ndaya kwigumbi eliphezulu ndiphethe iicookie ezimbini zeToll House ndaza ndaqala ukukhangela ubucwebe bakhe.
I-Pie esibhakabhakeni idlala kwindawo ezimbini zeBoot Pioneer Theatre, 155 East Street Street, ukusukela ngoMeyi 18 ukuya kuMeyi 25.
Ukuguqula izipho zikaMama
1. Kumama wale mihla: Mat, nguMasaki Matsushima. Ngamanqaku ayo aphezulu emango pulp kunye ne-bamboo, eli livumba lipakishwe li-hiply lifanelekile kunina ophucukileyo, ongumama kaHelmut Lang-wearin. Uyayithanda ibhotile, nokuba uyalizonda ivumba ($ 60 ngee-1.35 zeeunce eJeffrey New York).
2. Kumama kaDenise Rich-ish mom: diamond-and-platinum Art Deco pendant with a whopping Siberian amethyst designed by Fouquet ($ 60,000 from A La Vieille Russie, André Leon Tally's fave shop jewelry, at 781 Fifth Avenue).
3. KwiNew Age, anti-face-lift mom: I-Sundem's Neem cream cream (i-55 yeedola kwi-0.5 yeetoni kwiBarneys okanye eBergdorf Goodman). Iqabane leSundari uChristy Turlington wayinxiba eKilimanjaro kunyaka ophelileyo.
4. Kumama we-Anglophile-elitist snotty: UMiller Harris, iziqholo ezintathu ezenziwe ngumqholi wamaNgesi uLyn Harris ($ 80 ngeyunce enye, ngokukodwa kwaBarneys).
5. Kumama weQVC-lovin ’: Joan Rivers’ Ngoku & Ngonaphakade. NjengoBrigid kunye no-Honey, uJoan noMelissa abangobasemzini kwintombazanana yomama nentombi, kodwa loo nto ayimnqandanga uJoan ekubeni eze nelona vumba lilungileyo lonyaka. Ndivale iqela labahlobo, kwaye bonke bakhetha ngoku nangonaphakade ngaphezulu kweziqholo ezinomdla ezidweliswe apha ngasentla. Yi-tuberose (i- $ 45 yee-ounces eziyi-1.7 kwi-QVC.com). Kucetyiswa kakhulu.
6. Kumama obizwa ngokuba nguPat okanye uMeg: M. noJ. Savitt amagama ezacholo avela kuJeffrey. Udinga ikhonkco (iidola ezingama-440) kunye neeleta ezifakwe idayimane (iidola ezingama-460 inye). Isilumkiso: Ukuba igama lakhe nguWilhelmina, isongo liya kukubiza i-5,040 yeedola.
7. Kwilebula-lovin ’mama: Uyayikhumbula imeko embi kunyaka ophelileyo xa wawukruquke ngokunika i-Canal Street fakes? Sukuba ngungqwabalala, mthengele eyona nto iyinyani: I-Loehmann's kwiSeventh Avenue kunye ne-16th Street ine-Ivana-ish lilac nylon Prada totes ($ 299.99) kunye nezipaji ezimnyama zeGucci ($ 199). Tshisa zonke iibhegi zokuthenga kunye neerisithi ezine logo yeLoehmann.
8. Umama-ke-we-groovy-again mama: U-Chanel no-Gucci bobabini bazibeke ezo zirhinestone initials (ezabo) kwikona yeefreyim zaso ezinombala ongenabala ($ 270 ne- $ 250, ngokwahlukeneyo) kwii-boutique ezingaziwayo. Umama usanxibe ezi naff, ii-shades eziphefumlelweyo zika-1970 ukusuka kwixesha lokuqala, ke uyazi ukuba uzakumba.
9. Isityebi sikatata wakho kunye ne-momma yakho ifuna isipaji esitshisiweyo kwiikristale zaseSwarovski? Yenza into u-Brigid Berlin ahlala eyenza xa ilixesha lokuthengela u-Honey isipho-hit hit daddy for the money. Ivatermelon kaJudith Leiber ($ 2,375) yeyona ngxowa ibalaseleyo (kwaJudith Leiber, 987 Madison Avenue).
10. Kumama weSouth Fork-lovin ’mama: UGeorgica lip gloss ($ 18) kunye ne-East Hampton silky blush ($ 20) esuka eSue Devitt Studio eBarneys.
