Qala ukubona umahluko phakathi kwento oyifunayo kwindebe yakho kwaye yintoni eyona ikwindebe yakho.UDanielle Macinnes / Unsplash Kutheni le nto sihlala sicinga ukuba ukuphulukana nento kuyinto embi? Kutheni le nto sicinga ukuba kukho into ephosakeleyo ngathi xa siphulukana nolwalamano okanye loo msebenzi okanye obo buhlobo? Kutheni le nto sisilela ukuziva njengexhoba? Yikholwe okanye ungakholelwa, akukho nto inokuthi iqhubeke inyanisile.
Ukuphulukana akuthethi ukuba wenze into engalunganga. Kuthetha ukuba ubambe ixesha elide.
Lo mahluko uqala ngokuqonda oku okusisiseko: Ebomini, ungabamba kuphela kwinto engakusebenzeliyo ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba isuswe. Yindlela esebenza ngayo ubomi. Indalo iphela ayinakuhlala ibonakala ilungile, kodwa isoloko iyimbonakaliso yobulungisa.
Awusoze wohlwaywe xa umntu okanye imeko ishiya izandla zakho, nokuba uziswe njani na kuwe. Ebomini, ngekhe ulahlekelwe yintoni ngokwenene yeyakho. Ke, ukuba ulahlekelwe yinto, ibingakulungelanga wena (kwaye khange uyifumanise ngokukhawuleza ngokwaneleyo) okanye ixesha belingalunganga ukuba libonakalise ngokupheleleyo (ke kufuneka libuyele ehovini ukuze ixesha elide). Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, iyasuswa etafileni ukuze ube nesithuba sokwenza into efanelekileyo efanelekileyo kuwe.
Kuya kufuneka ulahlekelwe yinto engasebenziyo ukuze wenze indawo yokuthanda.
Ebomini, ufumana kuphela isixa esipheleleyo sendawo efumanekayo kuyo yonke into, kwaye yonke into oya kuyidinga ifakwe kwindebe yakho. Nantsi indlela endichaza ngayo kubaxhasi bam:
Indalo iphela yingqayi enkulu yamanzi, kwaye kumaxesha ngamaxesha ikunika amanzi amatsha (into entsha) kwindawo nganye yobomi bakho. Njengomntu, ufumana ikomityi enye yokuqokelela nokukhulisa indawo nganye yobomi bakho: ikomityi yobudlelwane, ikomityi yomsebenzi, ikomityi yasekhaya, njl njl. Zibuze: Yintoni onayo kwindebe yakho? Ngaba iyakunceda? Ngaba ngamanzi amatsha akomelezayo? Okanye ngaba kungcolile, amanzi agcwele ibhaktiriya athe azinza kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo kwaye awusenakusela kuwo? Ingaba into ekwindebe yakho izokuzalisa okanye izakugulisa? Zibuze: Ngaba uyafa lunxano?
Ukuba ufuna ukusela amanzi azalisa wena, kuya kufuneka ulahle amanzi amdaka kuqala.
Ukuba ikomityi yakho igcwele amanzi anetyhefu, awunandawo yokuyizalisa ngento ekufuneka uyisele. Ngumgaqo olula kakhulu, kodwa uninzi lwethu lunobunzima ekuwusebenziseni kubomi bethu. Ukuba ikomityi yakho igcwele ngento ongenako ukuyisela, uxelela indalo iphela ukuba ulungile noko kusekomityini yakho kwaye awuyidingi into yokuzibandakanya entsha. Ngokusisiseko uthi, Enkosi, kodwa hayi enkosi. Andikulungelanga ukuyilahla le ndebe. Ndiyazi ukuba inetyhefu, ayisenalo igalelo ekukhuleni kwam, kwaye ibindenza ndingonwabi okwethutyana ngoku, kodwa ndiyazi kakuhle kwaye andiqinisekanga ukuba ndingabakho njani ngaphandle kwayo, ndiza kuyigcina. Ndiyazi ukuba ayikuphelisi ukunxanwa kwam, kwaye ndinqwenela into endinokuyisela, kodwa yile ndiyikhethayo.
Akusoloko ufumana le nto uyifunayo; ufumana oko ukhetha-kwaye akusoloko kuyinto efanayo.
Sifuna enye into, kodwa sikhethe enye into, kwaye sizame ukwenza le nto siyikhethileyo ibe yile nto siyifunayo. Akusebenzi njalo. Siphela kuphela ngekomityi yamanzi amdaka. Isimanga kuyo yonke le nto kukuba ungabambelela kuphela kwinto engakukhonziyo ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba indalo iphela iyisuse kuwe.
Ukulahleka akuyona into embi. Kuyinto yokwazisa ukuba into oyifumene kwindebe yakho ayikufanelanga.
Ukuba ayilunganga, kutheni ufuna ukubambelela kuyo? Kutheni ufuna ukwenza ngathi yenye into? Kutheni ungafundi ukuyiyeka ngaphambi kokuba ithathwe kuwe? Ukuba ungafunda ukuyeka obu budlelwane bungcungcuthekisayo okanye loo msebenzi uthoba isidima, uya kuba namandla okwenza into ebhetele, ungashiywa uziva ulixhoba kwaye woyisiwe.
Nazi iingcebiso ezintathu zokukunceda ulahle amanzi akho amdaka:
- Ziqhelanise nokujonga ikomityi yakho egqibeleleyo. Usenokungakwazi ukuyilahla ikomityi yakho, kodwa ukuba uchitha imizuzu eli-10 yonke imihla ubona into oyifunayo kwindebe yakho, oko kuya kukunceda ukuba usete injongo ecacileyo yento ofuna ukuyibonakalisa. Kungekudala, uya kuqala ukubona ulwahlulo phakathi kwento oyifunayo kwindebe yakho kwaye yintoni kanye ekwindebe yakho. Ngamava okuvula amehlo. Le nkqubo iya kukuxhobisa ukuba uyeke okungakusebenzeliyo ukuze ufikelele kwiphupha lakho.
- Thembela kwinkqubo yobomi bakho. Qiniseka ukuba awungekhe uphulukane nokwenyani kuwe. Ukuba yintoni ekwindebe yakho engaziva mnandi, themba ukuba ungomelela kwaye uthathe ithuba lokuyilahla. Ukuba iyinyani kuwe, ngekhe ivumele ukuba ikhutshelwe ngaphandle okanye iya kubuyela kuwe yakube iphilisiwe kwaye ikulungele. Ukuba ayiyonyani kuwe, iya kuzivumela ukuba ikhutshelwe ngaphandle. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba ube nguwe owenza isigqibo. Kufuneka ube nguwe kuphela ongakuthinteliyo.
- Qaphela ukuba kuya kufuneka uphumelele ukuze uphumelele. Qaphela ukuba kuya kufuneka uphulukane nento engasebenziyo ukuze uphumelele oko kuya kuba. Ngokumalunga nobudlelwane, ziqhelise ukuqonda ukuba ukuba ulahlekelwe yinto engasebenziyo, uya kuphumelela ubume obungcono bobudlelwane nje ukuba elo qabane liyaphilisa okanye uya kufumana iqabane elingcono. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, uya kuhlala uphumelela ngokulahlekelwa yinto engakusebenzeliyo.
Isithuba yiyo yonke into. Ufumana ikomityi enye kuphela kwindawo nganye yobomi bakho. Zibuze, yintoni oyifakileyo kule komityi? Ukuba awusenako ukusela kuyo, uya kuphumelela kuphela ngokuyilahla. Ukuba awukakulungeli ukuyikhupha ngokupheleleyo, kutheni ungavele uthabathe enye? Yenza indawo encinci kwindebe yakho kwindebe entsha eza kungena. Oku kuxela indalo iphela, ndiyazi ukuba ndifuna utshintsho. Ngamanyathelo omntwana ukuya kulonwabo, inyathelo elinye ngexesha, kwaye ndiza kuyishiya yonke ihambe. Ngaphambi kokuba uyazi, indebe yakho iya kugcwaliswa ngento ekuxhasayo kwaye ikwenze uphile.
Isekwe kwisiXeko saseNew York, iDonnalynn yifayile ye- Umbhali we Izifundo zoBomi, yonke into owakha wanqwenela ukuba uyifunde kwisikolo sabantwana abancinci. Ukwangumqeqeshi wobomi oQinisekisiweyo woBomi, iBlogger ekhuthazayo ( isiseko.wordpress.com ), Umbhali kunye noSomlomo. Umsebenzi wakhe ubonakalisiwe IGlamour Magazine, iHeart Radio Network kunye nePrinceton Television. Iwebsite yakhe yile elelifa-family.com . Ungamlandela Twitter , I-Instagram , Unxibelelaniso , Facebook kwaye UGoogle +.
