Ngaba ucinga ikhaya lesibini eFlorida? Ngaba unengxaki yokuthatha isigqibo phakathi kobushushu bePalm Beach kunye nolwandle lwaseMiami? Makhe ndongeze ekudidekeni kwakho.
Umyeni wam uJonathan Adler kwaye sichithe iveki ephelileyo eFlorida, sibuyela emva naphambili phakathi kwePalm Beach neMiami Beach. Singaphezulu kokuqhelana nePalm Beach, singabanini, njengoko besinayo kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, ikhondomu eyayiphupha ngo-1970 kwinto eyaziwa kwalapha njengeGaza Strip. Inani elingazange labonwa ngaphambili lokuya eMiami lalibangelwa yinto yokuba uJonny wam evule nje ivenkile ethengisa izinto zakhe eLincoln Road. Oku kuhamba mihla le kunika ithuba elifanelekileyo lokuthelekisa nokuthelekisa ezi ndawo zimbini.
Nazi izigqibo eziphambili zobunzulu bam, iphenyo yeveki yonke: IPalm Beach kunye neMiami Beach bahlazekile ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Njengoko ulwandle iMiami luya louche ngokuthe ngcembe, iPalm Beach iya isiba mbumbulu kunye nesnootier.
Masiqale ngeMiami Beach.
Ukuba udibanise ii-shenanigans ze-hip-hop ze-Eighth Street kunye ne-bacchanalia ye-gay ye-Eighth Avenue kwaye waphosa kwisitrato esikhulu se-Sixth Avenue, uya kuba nokulinganisa okuthe tye koloyiso olwalukho eMiami Beach kwiveki ephelileyo. Ngamanye amagama, unokuhlala nje apha eManhattan enobundlobongela. Kwakuyiveki ekhethekileyo ngokukhethekileyo ngenxa yeHlabathi yasebusika yonyaka. Ukusuka kwinto endiyivayo, ixesha elilungileyo lalifunyanwa ngabo bonke-bonke bebeyimbumbulu yeebloke ezinxibe ngokucocekileyo ezithe zangena zivela kuwo wonke umhlaba ukuba ziyekwabelana ngesondo kunye ne-crystal meth.
Okwangoku, phezulu kunxweme ePalm Beach, abantu banokungabelani ngesondo kakhulu, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo bayarhona-ubukhulu becala ngumsindo. I-snobbery engaqondakaliyo edume kangaka isaphila kwaye ilungile. Kwiveki ephelileyo, mna noJonny siyisampule ngokwam.
Nali ibali: Umhlobo ongumJuda, ogqitha kuluntu lwe-WASP, wayephumelele ngandlela thile ukugqiba ubulungu beveki kwiBath kunye neTennis Club edume kuLwandlekazi lwaseBoulevard. (Ayisiyondawo apho uC. C. Guest wayevinjelwe emva kokuzisa u-Estée Lauder kwisidlo sasemini-yayiyi-Everglades Club. Le yona imbi kakhulu!) Lo mYuda ungoMfihlo wakhawuleza wasimema ukuba siqhekeze isonka kunye naye kunye nomxhasi wakhe kwi-B ne-T.
Mna noJonny singama-anti-WASPs: Thina, njengoMnumzana noNksk Federline, sisityebi kwaye sinebhongo ngaso. Ukufakwa yonke into kwi-WASP-y ePalm Beach kungumthombo wolonwabo olukhulu kunye nomtsalane (ungasathethi ke ngenkuthazo yoyilo). Esi simemo sasilithuba lokuba sikrole ngaphakathi kwezona ndawo zintle ze-elitism yabeeNtlanga kwaye sibaqwalasele aba bantu bamangalisayo bezonka ezimhlophe kwikhaya labo-kwaye, sinethemba elinye, lokuqinisekisa inkolelo yethu kwinto engenantsingiselo yokuthanda. Ngaba singafumanisa ukuba kufanelekile, ukuba nobuhle kwaye ukuba ngaphezulu ngokubanzi njengoko kubonakala ngathi bacinga? Amaqhuma ethu ayemhlophe ngolindelo.
Sikwabona ukuba esi sidlo sasemini sifana nomceli mngeni woMsindisi: Nokuba yeyiphi na kuthi eyomeleleyo exhobile ukuphuma okokuqala ingaphulukana nokuzikhusela.
Ngokucacileyo ungumYuda, kwaye ulifanasini, ndatsho ngokuzithemba. Awunakuze uyenze inqumle umda.
Uyindlovukazi enkulu ekhwazayo, uphikise uJonny wam, awuyi kuhlala imizuzwana emibini-ngaphandle kokuba, ewe, bayakuphambanisa nomntu obhinqileyo, into enokwenzeka. Grr!
Imihla yethu, umYudakazi oyimfihlo kunye noMxhasi weWASP, batyhutyha ngokusikhetha ngeyure emiselweyo. Umxhasi we-WASP ujonge imandi yam yeDolce neGabbana wathi, Hmm. Uyazi ukuba yintoni, u-B kunye no-T bahlelekile kwaye bahlala bexinekile, kutheni singayi kwiiNyaka eziSine endaweni yoko?
Umxhasi we-WASP emva koko wathumela umongikazi wakhe kunye nabantwana kwi-B kunye ne-T. -Ndicinga ukuba kwakungekho semthethweni kubo-kwaye sahamba sayokonwabela ukungaxelwanga okusolwayo kwamaXesha amaXesha amane.
Sasiyipunk'd yi-WASP.
Kamva ngala mini, sajonga kwi-Secretessessessess, eyathi yaqinisekisa ezona zikrokro zethu zimnyama: Umxhasi we-WASP waye wasirhoxisa isimemo kwakamsinya nje akusibona sinyoshoza kwithuthi yakhe. Ndingafumana enye yazo, mhlawumbi, kodwa zibe mbini? Hayi kwilly yakho!
Njengomvuzo wentuthuzelo, umfiekazi wethu oyimfihlo wasinika ikhadi awalinikwa iklabhu ngelixa yena, enxibe ngokungakhathali, esonwabela isitya semacaroni kunye netshizi:
INDLELA YAKHO EBONAKALAYO AYIFANELEKANGA KWIMIGANGATHO YENKCUBO SIYAKUCELA UKUTHI UTSHINTSHE NGOKUQHELEKILEYO.
Ndizenzile iikopi zayo kwaye ndizinika njengoko ndibona kufanelekile.
Ngaphandle kokungabikho kwamandulo kwamaziko athile ePalm Beach, bendizakukhetha uP. Naluphi na usuku ngaphezulu kwe-M. Iivenkile ezingafunekiyo zibhetele, iindawo zokutyela zingcono, kwaye singathatha inja yethu siyise elwandle. Ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwee-crystal-meth orgies, ndinamaxesha okufunda.
Ngelixa ndandiseFlorida, ndandikonwabela ukujika iphepha. Ukuba u-Iris Murdoch waphinda wazalwa njenge-punk rocker kwaye wayehlala eJapan yangoku, wayeya kuba ngumbhali owaziwayo uNatsuo Kirino, kwaye ngewayebhale into ebambekayo neyothusayo ($ 9.71 kwiphepha leVintage eAmazon), inoveli yolwaphulo mthetho malunga nabafazi abane abasebenza kumzi-mveliso wesidlo sasemini. Le ncwadi iyonwabisa kakhulu kangangokuba indinike uhlaselo-olufanayo, ndicinga njalo, kwabo banamava ngabantu abathandana nabathandana nabesini sabo kwi-crystal-meth comedown.
Nabani na ngentenetya?
