UPine noHardy bacinga ukuba kutheni, ngoku, balwa iWitherspoon. Iiarhente eziyimfihlo ezingaphezulu zibonakala kwimeko ye-pharmacologically ye-anesthesia ebizwa ngokuba yi-anesthesia Oku kuthetha iMfazwe. I-hack ebizwa ngokuba nguMcG ngokulula, owenze inkunkuma elityelweyo emhlabeni njengemifanekiso bhanyabhanya ka-Charlie's Angels Usindiso lwesiphelo, ayisiyongcali oyifunayo malunga nokujonga idosi. Isiphumo yimizuzu engama-98 yobudenge bokuziphatha obusele bubhalwe kwi-Intanethi njengeyona movie imbi kakhulu yonyaka. Uvavanyo lwangaphambi kwexesha? Ingayiyo. Kuphela ngoFebruwari. Kodwa emva Oku kuthetha iMfazwe, Inye into eqinisekileyo: Unyaka awunandawo ungaya kuyo ngaphandle kokunyuka.
Tuck (UTom Hardy, obhalwe tattoo uMuscle McGurk osuka eNgilani othe wamangalisa wonke umntu Umkhosi ) kunye ne-FDR (uChris Pine) zezona zihlumayo kunye namaqabane angahlukaniyo alahla abantu kuphahla lwezakhiwo, aqhekeza izixeko kwaye axele imfazwe kwilizwe lonke leentshaba. Akukho nto inokuza phakathi kwabo, kubandakanya i-CIA database, abayisebenzisa ngokungekho mthethweni ukuphanda amantombazana. Akukho nto, oko kukuthi, bade bawele kwintombazana enye, umphandi wemveliso yomlomo wemoto, nokuba yeyiphi na, edlalwa kukhetho olunokukhetha kodwa engasekho u-Reese Witherspoon omtsha. Ngesiquphe kungumlo kwibhedi ephindwe kabini ukubona ukuba yeyiphi enxiba iBrut kwaye yeyiphi enxibe patchouli. Besebenzisa iifayile ezifihliweyo eziphezulu kunye nezixhobo zokujonga ividiyo kwi-CIA field office eLos Angeles, baphula yonke imithetho yokuhlola omnye komnye ukuya kuthi ga nakwigumbi lokulala likaNks Witherspoon. Umntu uzenza ngathi yiarhente yokuhamba. Omnye udlula njengomphathi wenqanawa. Kwaye usisidenge ngokwaneleyo ukuba akholelwe kubo bobabini. Akucaci ukuba uza kukhetha yiphi emva kobusuku kwilinen yasePorthault, kodwa ufumana umbono olungileyo xa exelela intombi yakhe ebusy nymphomaniac malunga noMnu Pine, ezine ngobusuku obunye! Uthetha ii-orgasms, hayi ii-tequila shots.
Njengokusebenza kweCIA, uMnu Hardy kunye noMnu Pine banako konke ukuthembeka kuka-Abbott noCostello. Kwisibini kwisithathu sefilimu, akukho nto yenzekayo ukubhala ekhaya malunga nayo. Ke, kanye xa umboniso bhanyabhanya uphephetha ukufa kwawo okokugqibela, umbulali wamazwe aphesheya obhuti wakhe wabulawa komnye wemishini yabo e-Hong Kong wafika, kwaye iinkwenkwezi ezintathu zichitha lonke ixesha lokubaleka zisenza loo nto- zibaleka, zibetha uhola wendlela, ukutshabalalisa iimoto kunye nepropathi yoluntu, ukuqhushumba iilori kunye neenqwelomoya kunye… kodwa kutheni uqhubeka nje? Ukuba iintlola ezifihlakeleyo ze-CIA zichitha ilixa lokuvuka emini nasebusuku zisebenzisa ipropathi karhulumente ukwenza izinto ngokunganyanisekanga, ndiyangcangcazela xa ndicinga ngento eza kwenziwa kukhuseleko lwasekhaya ukukhusela ilizwe kungxamiseko. Ndiyazi ukuba le yinto enqabileyo ngaphandle kokuhleka, kodwa i-movie ifile ekufikeni kwaye nkqu noNks Witherspoon unokuyigcina. Kambe ke, lixesha eliphezulu waqala ukucinga ngokuzisindisa-kwaye yintoni eseleyo kwikhondo lakhe lomsebenzi wefilimu.
rreed@observer.com
OKUTHETHA IMFAZWE
Ixesha lokubaleka 98 imizuzu
Ibhalwe nguTimothy Dowling kunye noSimon Kinberg
Ekhokelwa nguMcG
Amanqaku aphambili kuReese Witherspoon, uChris Pine noTom Hardy
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