(Ifoto: Pexels) Uninzi lwabafazi abancinci sele beqhele ukujongwa kuloliwe.
Ke xa ndaziva ukuba undijongile, ndenza izinto eziza ngokuzenzekelayo-ndaya ndisihla esihlalweni sam. Ndilungiselele ukujonga kwam ngefestile. Ndiguqulele umculo kwii-headphone zam. Ndizamile ukulinda ingqalelo yakhe.
Kodwa waqhubeka ekhangela. Kwaye khange kube kudala wahlala phambi kwam, umzimba wakhe uthe saa kwizitulo ezibini, esithi, Uxolo. Ndiyaxolisa ukukukhathaza - kwaye andiqhele ukwenza le nto. Kodwa nje… ujongeka kakhulu njengomfazi wam.
Inokuba bendisithi enkosi, kuba ndihlala ndenza njalo. Kodwa andikhumbuli ukuba ndibuze ukuba wayephi, okanye ukuba wazinikela ngokuzithandela. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, kwimizuzwana nje yokuva ilizwi lakhe okokuqala, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba inkosikazi yakhe iphumelele kwiminyaka esixhenxe eyadlulayo.
Ndineminyaka engama-30. Andikaze nditshate, nangona ndisondele kakhulu ekukholelweni ukuba ndiza kuba njalo, kwiminyaka eyadlulayo. Kodwa ndiye ndaphila ubomi obaneleyo bokwazi la mathuba awafiki rhoqo - amaxesha xa ujonga omnye umntu kwaye akukho nto ime phakathi kwenu nobabini.Uyabona ukuba ngoobani, kwaye ungubani emehlweni abo, kunye nokucaca kwenkwenkwezi.
Waqhubeka ecela uxolo, amehlo akhe ebaleka phakathi kwam nefestile, esithi, ndiyaxolisa. Kuphela ukuba uyamthanda, uyazi?
Ewe, ndandingazi. Bendingazokwazi amaphupha ebelele phakathi kwabo, amaphupha kusenokwenzeka ukuba aseshushu kwaye evutha ezandleni zakhe akusweleka. Undixelele ngaye, ukuba wayenjani uPuerto Rican kwaye enesikhumba esikhanyayo esifana nesam. Undixelele ngeNew York, apho ahlala khona nalapho bahlala khona. Undixelele ngonyana wabo, lowo ebemshiye apho.
Kwaye waye wandijonga ebusweni - into ethi, kuyo nayiphi na imeko, ibindenze ndingonwabi. Ngendenze ukuba ndijike intloko ndijonge efestileni njengoko ndandenzile amaxesha amaninzi ngaphambili. Kodwa ndiye ndaqonda, ngalo mzuzu, ibingengamehlo am ajonge kuwo. Kwakungowomfazi wakhe.
Ndazibuza ukuba ingaba uthetha ngaye ngalo lonke ixesha okanye hayi kwaphela. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba umntu wokuqala awavulela kuye - umntu wokuqala anokumvulela - abe ngumfazi obonakala efana naye?
Ngendinike yonke into imizuzu eli-10 ngaphezulu.
Khange ayithethe lento. Wayengadingi. Ndikhe ndaziva kanye ngexesha lobomi bam - hayi emva kokusweleka kwelungu losapho, kodwa xa indoda endandithanda ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na enye emhlabeni indishiyile.
Wayeyitsho ngeenyembezi emehlweni akhe, kwaye ndazifumana iindaba ngelizwi elingavumi ukungcangcazela. Ndakhe ndayibona isiza-iinyanga zokuxabana, umgama okhulayo kwincoko yethu yokubhaliweyo. Sithethe ngathi igama ngalinye lilinge lokuphepha izigcayiseli.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, ukuqhuma.
Andinakuyenza le nto kwakhona.
Kodwa salala ecaleni komnye ngobo busuku, sisazi ukuba uzakuhamba kusasa. Ukwazi ukuba ngosuku olulandelayo yayiya kuthi xa sihlala neziphumo zaloo ncoko-abo bahlobo babini baneminyaka esibhozo, abantu ababini abaqhula ngamagama abantwana kunye nokuguga kunye, abantu ababini ababesazana kwaye besazana Eyona nto ingcono iya kuqala ukuyilungisa yonke.
Andazi nokuba wakhe wandibamba wandiqinisa na ngobo busuku. Andazi ukuba ndikhe ndoyike usuku olutsha ngakumbi.
Kwaphela iinyanga emva koko, ndaziva ndixakekile zizinto zonke endandingazithethanga, ngokungathi amagama ambalwa omlingo inokuba yayiyikhowudi eyayinokusigcina sindawonye. Ukuba bendineminye imizuzu eli-10, ngendibe ndifumene amagama anokumgcina apho. Oko ngekwamnika ukholo lokuba, t uyakwazi ukusebenza .
Kundithathe ixesha elingcono lonyaka ukuqonda ukuba imizuzu eli-10 ngeyingazange isindise-kwaye nangaphezulu kunoko ukwamkela ukuba besingakulungelanga kwaye asikufanelekeli ukugcinwa. Senze konke esinokukwenza, ngo, kunye nangomnye nomnye. Besingabantu nje ababini ixesha labo belisandula ukuphuma.
Kwaye apha, phantse iminyaka emithathu kamva, esixekweni amawaka eekhilomitha kude naloo bhedi eMantla Carolina kwahlala le ndoda ifelwe ngumfazi kwaye, okwangoku, yayiqulathe into eyaphuke kakhulu ngaphakathi kuye. Yaphuke kakhulu kangangokuba wamshiya unyana wabo eNew York. Kubi kakhulu ukuba wayehleli kuloliwe, ethetha nam malunga ne-LA kunye nendlela eyayingafaniyo nekhaya. Kubi kakhulu ukuba angakhangela ubuso bomntu angamaziyo ukufumana eminye imizuzu eli-10 kunye nenkosikazi yakhe.
Ndiyinike imizuzu eyi-10, eyona nto ndinako ukuyenza.
Kwakungase ndikhale kwangoko kodwa ngandlela thile andizange. Ngendibubambe ubuso bakhe ezandleni zam ndathi ndiyaxolisa, kuba bendi. Ngendimxelele ukuba ndiyamthanda kuba ngalo mzuzu, ndenze njalo, kuba ukubona umntu ngokucacileyo, ukuba nokuma okuncinci phakathi kwakho nomnye umntu yile nto uthando luyiyo.
U-Anne Branigin ngumbhali osekelwe eLos Angeles, ngaba wayenguMfo ka-Annenberg ngoku esenza iziqu zakhe ze-MS kubuNtatheli kwiYunivesithi yase-Southern California. Emva kokufumana i-BFA yakhe kuYilo lokuBhala kwiYunivesithi yaseNorth Carolina eWilmington ngo-2006, wasebenza njengomhlohli wesiNgesi eVietnam naseColombia. Unokufumana ngakumbi umsebenzi wakhe e www.AnneBranigin.com , okanye fikelela nge-Twitter @AnneBranigin .
