Ukuba sizama ukutyhala iintlungu zethu, nokuba zezomzimba okanye ezemvakalelo, siphantse sizifumane sihlupheka nangakumbi.Iipelisi Ukubandezeleka Ligama elihle kakhulu. Uninzi lwabantu alucingi ukuba eli gama lisebenza kubo. Andisokoli, batsho. Bacinga abantwana belambile kwilizwe laseAfrika elihlaselwe yindlala okanye iimbacu ezibaleka imfazwe eMbindi Mpuma okanye abantu abaphethwe zizifo ezothusayo. Sicinga ukuba ukuba silungile kwaye silumkile, sihlala sinethemba, sidlala ngemigaqo, kwaye sityeshele oko kuqhubeka ezindabeni ubusuku ngabunye, ngekhe kwenzeke kuthi. Sicinga Ukubandezeleka kwenye indawo .
Kodwa ukubandezeleka kukuyo yonke indawo. Le yenye yezona nyaniso zinzima zobukho.
Kule minyaka ingamashumi amathathu idlulileyo, bendihleli kumngxunya wokufa kunye namawaka ambalwa abantu. Abanye bafika ekufeni kwabo bezele kukudana. Abanye batyatyamba kwaye bangena kulomnyango bezele yimimangaliso. Uninzi lwazo lundifundisile ukuba kuthetha ntoni na uyayiqonda kakuhle intlungu nokubandezeleka .
Ukubandezeleka kuyathandana kwaye emva koko uyekelele. Ukubandezeleka kukungakwazi ukunxibelelana nabantwana bethu. Lixhala lethu malunga nento ezakwenzeka emsebenzini ngomso. Ukubandezeleka kukwazi ukuba uphahla lwakho luya kuvuza kwimvula elandelayo. Ekugqibeleni uthenga i-smartphone entsha ekhazimlayo, emva koko ubone intengiso yesixhobo esitsha esitsha kunye nophuculo olonyukayo. Ndiyathemba ukuba inkampani yakho iyakususa umphathi wakho onomsindo osenonyaka ngaphambi kokuba athathe umhlalaphantsi. Ukucinga ukuba ubomi buhamba ngokukhawuleza kakhulu okanye ngokucotha kakhulu. Ukungayifumani into oyifunayo, ukufumana into ongayifuniyo, okanye ukufumana le nto uyifunayo kodwa woyike ukuba uyakuphulukana nayo — konke oku kuyasokola. Ukugula kukubandezeleka, ukwaluphala kuyasokola, kwaye kuyafa nokufa .
KwiBuddhism, igama elidala lesiPali lokubandezeleka kunjalo dukkha , maxa wambi eliguqulelwa njengonxunguphalo okanye nangakumbi njengokungoneliseki okanye noxinzelelo. Dukkha kuvela ekungazini, ekungaqondini ukuba yonke into ayinasiphelo, ayinakuthenjwa, ayinakuthenjwa-kwaye ifuna ukuba kungenjalo. Sinqwenela ukubanga izinto zethu, ubudlelwane bethu, kwanokuzazisa kwethu ngokungatshintshiyo, kodwa asikwazi. Zonke zihlala ziguqula kwaye zityibilika ngqo kwiminwe yethu.
Sicinga ukuba sidinga iimeko zobomi bethu ukuze zisinike ngokuthembekileyo oko sikufunayo. Sifuna ukwakha ikamva elifanelekileyo okanye sibuyise ithemba elidlulileyo. Sikholelwa ngokungalunganga ukuba oku kuya kusonwabisa. Kodwa sonke sinokubona ukuba nabo bantu baqonda iimeko ezingaqhelekanga ebomini basasokola. Nokuba sizizityebi, sibahle, sikrelekrele, sinempilo egqibeleleyo, kwaye sisikelelwe ngeentsapho ezintle kunye nobuhlobo, ekuhambeni kwexesha ezi zinto ziya konakala, zitshatyalaliswe, kwaye zitshintshe… okanye sizakuphulukana nomdla. Kwinqanaba elithile, siyazi ukuba kunjalo, kodwa asinakubonakala ngathi siyeke ukubamba ezo meko zigqibeleleyo.
Ekuqaleni, igama elithi dukkha lalibhekisa kwi-asi engakulungelanga ngqo kwihabhu yevili kwinqwelo yeenkomo. Ndikhe ndakhwela kwezo moto zamahashe e-India. Ukuhla usenyuka kwiindlela zomhlaba ezizele yimingxunya eyenzelwe uhambo oluhle. Xa iasi kunye nehabhu bezingahambelani kakuhle, ukukhwela bekungaphezulu.
Masithi uyagxothwa emsebenzini wakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo eso sisiganeko soxinzelelo. Kodwa ukubandezeleka kubaxwa kakhulu ukuba uyala ukwamkela okwenzekileyo njengenyaniso ekhoyo ngoku. Ngaphantsi kweemeko ezinzima, sihlala sithetha izinto ngathi, Oku akulunganga. Oku akunakuba yinyani. Le asiyondlela ekufanele ukuba yiyo, ebangela ukuba sibandezeleke ngakumbi. Inqaku elibalulekileyo apha kukuba ulwamkelo aludingi sivumelwano. Sisenokufuna ukusebenzela ukutshintsha iimeko zethu zobomi. Kodwa awunakho ukwenza utshintsho de ube kuqala wamkele inyani yento elungileyo ephambi kwakho, amehlo evulekile.
Dukkha kuvela kukuphazamiseka ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo kokungaboni nokwamkela iimeko zobomi njengoko bezikho ngokwenene. Sisoloko sifuna into. Into esingakaze ibonakale yanele. Sifuna ukungahoyi ixesha lokuhlala ngokusisigxina. Kwaye oko kudala ukungoneliseki, uloyiko, oluduma phantsi kolwazi lwethu kwaye lusiqhubele ekuziphatheni ngeendlela ezibaxekileyo kunokudambisa iintlungu.
Yeyiphi enye indlela yokusingatha ubomi obungenakuphepheka dukkha ?
Isinyathelo sokuqala kukuqonda ukuba intlungu kunye nokubandezeleka ngokwenene Ngamava amabini ahlobene ngokusondeleyo kodwa ahlukeneyo . Isaci esiqhelekileyo sithi, Intlungu ayinakuphepheka; Ukubandezeleka kukukhetha. Imalunga nokuyishwankathela.
Ukuba uyaphila, uya kuva iintlungu. Wonke umntu unentlungu eyahlukileyo, ukanti sonke siyayifumana ebomini bethu. Intlungu yomzimba yialam yangaphakathi yenkqubo yemithambo-luvo, umzimba wakho uphendula kwisikhuthazi esinokubangela umonakalo. Yenza amava ongemnandi, njengokulamba, ukudinwa, isisu esibuhlungu, intloko ebuhlungu, okanye iintlungu zesifo samathambo. Iintlungu nazo zinokuthatha imeko yeemvakalelo, ezinje ngokuqhekeka kwentliziyo okanye usizi lokulahleka.
Kukho ke iintlungu, ekungekho kuphuncuka kuzo. Kwaye kukho ukubandezeleka, esinokuthi senze okuthile ngako. Ukubandezeleka ngokubanzi kwenzeka njengokusabela kwetyathanga: ukukhuthaza-ukucinga-impendulo . Amaxesha amaninzi, asinakulawula ukukhuthaza okusibangela iintlungu. Kodwa singalushenxisa ulwalamano lwethu neengcinga malunga nokuphendula ngokweemvakalelo kwintlungu, ehlala iqinisa ukubandezeleka kwethu.
Ukubandezeleka kungokubona nokutolika. Lulwalamano lwethu ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo kwinto yokuqala ebonwa njengamava angathandekiyo okanye angathandekiyo. Amabali ethu kunye neenkolelo malunga nokwenzekayo okanye okwenzekileyo kubumba ukutolika kwethu. Xa izinto zingahambi ngokwesicwangciso, abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba bangamaxhoba angenakuzinceda okanye bakufumene oko bekufanele. Oku kukhokelela ekuyekeni emsebenzini kunye nokungakhathali. Xa sibanjiswa kukuxhalaba kwaye sinexhala malunga nokuya kwenzeka kwixesha elizayo, inokukhawuleza yande ibeyile yokoyika okungalulanga ngokulula.
Ukuvula iintlungu kumzuzu wangoku, sinokwazi ukwenza into ukuphucula le meko, mhlawumbi kungenjalo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo sinokuyibona indlela izimo zethu zengqondo ezinokuchaphazela ngayo okwenzekayo. Ukuphendula kwam kwintlungu, kwanokucinga ngentlungu, kutshintsha yonke into. Inganyusa okanye inciphise ukubandezeleka kwam. Ndihlala ndiyithanda ifomula:
Ubuhlungu + Ukuxhathisa = Ukubandezeleka
Ukuba sizama ukutyhala iintlungu zethu, nokuba zezomzimba okanye ezemvakalelo, siphantse sizifumane sihlupheka nangakumbi. Xa sivulela ukubandezeleka, sikubuza endaweni yokuzama ukuyikhanyela, siyabona ukuba singayisebenzisa njani ebomini bethu.
Ukuzimisela ukuhlala kunye nokubandezeleka kwethu kubangela ukuba sibe nezixhobo zangaphakathi esinokuthi siqhubele phambili kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bethu. Sifunda ukuba nantoni na esiyinika indawo yokuhamba. Iimvakalelo zethu zokungonwabi okanye unxunguphalo, unxunguphalo okanye umsindo zikhululekile ukuba zivuleke, zityhileke, kwaye ziveze oyena nobangela wazo. Rhoqo ekuvumeleni ukuba iintlungu zethu zivele, sifumana indawo yokuthula, kunye noxolo-kanye embindini wokubandezeleka.
Ukujikela ekubandezelekeni kwethu yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokwamkela yonke into kwaye ungayihoyi. Esi simemo sithetha ukuba akukho nxalenye yethu okanye amava ethu anokushiywa ngaphandle: hayi uvuyo kunye nokumangaliswa, okanye intlungu kunye nokukhathazeka. Zonke zilukiwe kubo bonke ubomi bethu. Xa siyamkela le nyaniso, singena ngakumbi ebomini.
UFrank Ostaseski ngumseki kunye Iprojekthi yeZen Hospice kwaye i IZiko leMetta , umhlohli kwiHarvard Medical School kunye neMayo Clinic, kunye notitshala kwiinkomfa ezinkulu zokomoya kunye namaziko kwihlabathi liphela. Incwadi yakhe entsha, Izimemo ezintlanu: Ukufumanisa ukuba ungasifundisa ntoni ukufa ngokuphila ngokugqibeleleyo , iyafumaneka ngoku.
