Imihla yokuQala engama-50,000: Ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi kwenza ukuba ufumane uMlingane kwi-NYC kunzima kunakuqala

Kwakukho ixesha, kungekude kudala, xa ndandinokujonga emva kubomi bam obungenanjongo bokubala kunye nokubala, nganye nganye, iziqingatha zokuqala zemihla endakha ndazifumana. Kwakungunyaka ophelileyo, ngaphambi kokuba ndibambe ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwihlabathi elibanzi nelingathandekiyo lokuthandana kwi-Intanethi, ndoyisa iingqondo zam ngenani labasetyhini abafumanekayo eNew York ababezimisele ukudibana neziselo okanye isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye mhlawumbi uhambo lwasemva kwemini.

Kwakungekade kube kutshanje, xa ndabuya umva ukubonakalisa ixesha lam kwindawo yokuthandana yedijithali-isaqhwithi sobuso obuhle kunye nomdla onokuqikelelwa kunye neencoko ze-prosaic- apho ndabona khona ukuba ixesha lam lobomi lobomi belinjengobunzima be-amoebae eguqukayo, iphindaphindwe kasixhenxe. Kodwa kuphela umhla omnye-kwaye ndaya kufikelela kuma-50 ngeenkonzo ze-intanethi-zenze ukuba zidlule ukudibana okokuqala. Lowo wacela ngokukhawuleza kakhulu njengabanye.

Ngokuqinisekileyo andizange ndibekele ukudibana nabasetyhini abaninzi ngangokunokwenzeka, injongo edinayo. Ndikhetha kakhulu ukuchitha ixesha namadoda amadala, andibeka lula; amantombazana ayandoyikisa, kwaye ndiye ndaziwa ukuba ndiyagabha xa ithemba lokuthandana lizibonakalisa, lindoyikisa. Mna ke, nangona kunjalo, ndifuna ubudlelwane-elide- okanye elifutshane, njengoko online ukuthandana argot uya-leyo, ndiyaqikelela, ifuna ukuba wenze izinto ezenza ungakhululeki.

Ndinguye, njengoko umculo kaJerome Kern uhamba, uphelelwe lixesha, nangona ndineminyaka engama-26, kwaye ndiyawathanda amantombazana amadala. Ukuba bendinokugoba umhlaba ungene kwenye inyani, bendiya kuyibumba emva komdlalo omnandi womculo kaWoody Allen Wonke umntu uthi ndiyakuthanda , apho izibini ezithandekayo zidanisa malunga neendledlana zicula imigangatho yejazz yakudala.

Kodwa andikwazi, ngoko ehlotyeni lokugqibela ndajoyina i-OkCupid, indawo yokuthandana kwi-Intanethi. Ndenze i-akhawunti ngolunye usuku oludabukisayo kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo, kodwa inkqubo yokuhambisa iifoto ezibonisa amanyala ezothusayo zabasetyhini endandingazazi ukuba zaziva voyeuristic. Ndicime iprofayile yam kungaphelanga iveki. Ngeli xesha, nangona kunjalo, bendidiniwe ukuba ndedwa, kwaye ukubanakho ukudibana nenenekazi ngaphandle kweintanethi kubonakala kungenakulindeleka, naseNew York, apho abasetyhini bebaninzi kunamadoda-kodwa ngakumbi eNew York, apho wonke umntu ebonakala egadwe kwaye exakekile.

Xa ndigqibile iprofayile yam entsha kwi-intanethi, ndayithumela kumhlobo wamabhinqa ukuze ihlolwe. Yongeza intshi ukuphakama kwakho, utshilo, kwaye ubeke ababhali ababhinqileyo abambalwa kuluhlu lwakho lwababhali obathandayo. Ndalithatha icebiso lakhe, ndenza i-5-foot-11 ngelixa ndongeza uNora Ephron, Katie Roiphe noGail Collins kuluhlu oluquka uE. White, Dwight Garner kunye noTobas Wolff. Emva koko ndaye ndasebenza, ndithumela imiyalezo kubantu ababhinqileyo.

Izinto zaqala kancinci. Umhla wenyanga enye, enye elandelayo. Ukungabikho komdla kuye, ukungabikho komdla kum. Kwakukho abadlali abaninzi abanomnqweno kunye nabantu abaninzi kwi-PR, kwaye uninzi lwabo, ndifunde kwiiprofayili zabo, babezimisele emadodeni angazithathi nzulu kakhulu, leyo ingcinga endichasayo. Andiqinisekanga nokuba kuthetha ntoni. Kutheni le nto umntu engafanele azithathele ingqalelo?

Njengoko uphando luqhubeka, bendibuya ekhaya busuku ngabunye kwikhompyuter yam kwaye ndichithe iiyure ndityhutyha ulwandle olukhulu lobuso. Emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, ndaye ndayiqhela imithetho engabhalwanga yokuthumela imiyalezo-ungaze uzazise nge-What's up ?, phakathi kwezinye izinto ezingenamsebenzi-kwaye ukubala kwam komhla kwaqala ukuthatha njengoko ndandi rhontsha ukusuka kwelinye ibhinqa ukuya kwelilandelayo. Kungekudala, ndinxiliswe yinto enokwenzeka ukuba ezi nkonzo zinikezelwayo, ndikhuphele iTinder, i-app esekwe kwindawo yokuthandana, kunye ne-JSwipe (Mazel Tov! Itsho xa ufumene umdlalo). Yilapho izinto zaqala khona ngokwenene.

Ngaphambi kokuba ndiyazi, ndandihamba iintsuku ezintathu okanye ezine ngeveki. Yonke le nto yenzekile ebharini, engeyiyo indawo embi kumhla wokuqala. Kodwa ikwayindawo eyoyikekayo, njengoko unyanzelekile ukuba uhlale kwaye ujonge umntu ongemazi ixesha elide ngaphandle kokukhetha ukujonga kude xa kuvela ukungaboni kakuhle-kwaye bahlala njalo. Emva kwethutyana, bendidiniwe kukuchaza, ndiphindaphinda, indlela iintatheli eziza nemibono yamabali-ngokuya kwi-intanethi, kunjalo! -Kube ngathi ndiyathanda ukuhlala eBed-Stuy, ukuze ndingabonakali engalunganga. Yonke inkqubo yothando yayiqala ukuziva inyanzelekile, iyinto nje, isenza isidima kwaye, ewe, iyabiza.

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Amava am, kuvela, ahlukile.

Ayikhe izive iyindalo, utshilo umlobi wamalungelo okopisha oneminyaka engama-28 (uthanda uDon DeLillo) ohlala eBrooklyn kwaye kutshanje ucime iiakhawunti zakhe ze-OkCupid kunye neTinder endaweni yokudibana ngaphandle kweintanethi. Ndive ngathi ndisebenza njengomatshini, ndipompa idatha ekusebenzeni kwaye ndinethemba lokufumana iziphumo ezilungileyo.

Ngaba yinkqubo eqhubayo yodliwanondlebe? ubuze umxhasi ngezimali (uyayithanda i-SoulCycle) kwi-30 yakhe yakudala. Ngaba sihlala sisenza udliwanondlebe nabantu kuba sinako?

Bendihlala ndicinga ukuba ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi yeyona nto ibalaseleyo ukuba ize, kodwa ngoku ndicinga ukuba iphantse ibe sisiqalekiso, watsho umhleli weefoto oneminyaka engama-43 (olunge kakhulu: ukubhukuda, iicartwheels, ukutya iifriji zaseFrance).

Kuyadinisa ukuba neencoko ezifanayo ubusuku bonke beveki, enye idater ekwi-Intanethi (iyakonwabela ukunyuka amatye) yandixelela.

Ndiwuthiyile umhla oqhubekayo wokuqala, kuphawulwe ukuba ngumthengisi wentengiso yedijithali oneminyaka engama-30, othi kwiminyaka yakhe eli-12 yokuthandana kwi-Intanethi, abe sele ekufutshane nemihla engama-400. (Uyayithiya iinoveli zothando.)

Oku kubaluleke kakhulu, kwaye kuyadinisa, kuguqula indlela esidibana ngayo njengohlobo, eyona inkulu, kubonakala ngathi, ukusukela ekulawuleni ukuzalwa. Njengokuba ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi kuya kuncipha ukubekwa ibala-iipesenti ezingama-21 zabasebenzisi be-Intanethi bacinga ukuba ukuthandana kwi-intanethi kuyadimaza, amanqaku asibhozo ukusukela ngo-2005, ngokweZiko loPhando lePew-abangakumbi nangakumbi, benethemba lokuhlangabezana nomdlalo wabo, bajikela kwilizwe ledijithali. Akusiyo iminyaka yokuxhamla; yiminyaka yomhla wokuqala ongapheliyo.

Ngelixa nasiphi na isilayiti sinokudlala inkqubo ukuba iyathandeka, ilala isixeko ngeTinder okanye naliphi na inani leapps ezenza ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi, into engavunywa kakhulu kukuba abantu abaqhelekileyo baya kwinani elingaphaya kwemihla kwaye bafumana okuncinci kakhulu- ngokwesondo okanye kungenjalo-kwinkqubo. Ndingathanda ukuthi oku kutshintshwa kuthetha ukuba sibe ngabantu abanesibindi, kodwa ngelishwa akunjalo.

Ibha isezantsi kakhulu kunangaphambili. Ngokungafaniyo nokubuza umntu ngobuqu, awunyanzelekanga ukuba uqokelele amandla okuhamba uye emntwini, okanye ubabize nje, kwaye mhlawumbi ungamkelwa. Ukuba sesichengeni-kunye nokuziphatha okuhamba nako-kunxibelelwano lwezothando kuyancipha; online ukuthandana kunokukwenza ube dater esebenzayo ngakumbi, kodwa kwakhona ujika ube romancer yokwenziwa ngakumbi. Endaweni yokuphuma nomntu osele uyazi ukuba utsaliwe (indlela yakudala), iidatha ezikwi-Intanethi ngoku zisebenzisa imihla yokuqala ukufumanisa ukuba bayamthanda na umntu.

Awazi kwanto ngomntu xa uhlela usuku lokuqala nomntu ngomthombo okwi-Intanethi, utshilo uHarry Reis, unjingalwazi wobudlelwane kwezengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseRochester. Khawufane ucinge ukuba ubuya kukhetha amagama kwincwadi yemfonomfono kwaye uye kumhla wokuqala. Zingaphi kwezi ocinga ukuba ungaziva unxibelelana nazo? Mhlawumbi kakhulu, bambalwa kakhulu.

Oku akuthethi ukuba awunakufumana iqabane lakho lomphefumlo ngomthombo okwi-intanethi. Umntu endandisebenza naye watshata nendoda awadibana nayo kwi-OkCupid, kwaye kukho inani lamabali empumelelo eTinder. Kodwa kukho abasebenzisi abangama-400,000 be-OkCupid kwisiXeko saseNew York kuphela, kwaye ngelixa ndingathanda ukucinga ukuba bonke bafumana uthando, yintoni enokwenzeka kukuba bayazitshisa nje behamba nomhla emva komhla.

Yitafile ye-buffet engapheliyo, efana nayo yonke into onokuyitya, utshilo umlawuli wezobugcisa oneminyaka engama-30 (inqanaba lentloko, elicingayo nelinoxabiso) osandula ukuyeka i-OkCupid kodwa asebenzise iTinder.

Wonke umntu uyibhokisi ye-cereal, utshilo omnye oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala odlala kwi-Intanethi (uthanda iincindi zemango ezomisiweyo, akukho sulphur), usomashishini wezobuchwephesha, othe wathandana ngokufihlakeleyo kulo nyaka uphelileyo ukuze afumane intombi yakhe yangaphambili. Uqhubeke kangangeentsuku ezintandathu zokuqala ngeveki kangangesiqingatha sonyaka, echitha i-1, 000 yeedola ngenyanga kumtya wakhe wokuqala wokudibana. Andijonganga kwenza ukhetho, wandixelela, wongeza ukuba akazange abuze ntombazana kwakhona, kwaye akazange azame ukulala nomnye wabo. Bendifuna amava, 'Owu, andifuni kuba kuninzi ukufumaneka phaya.'

Ukufumaneka okuninzi ngokwenene. Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi ubonelelo lusoyikiso lokuhlala phantsi, njengoko zinjalo iiapps ngokwazo, ethi, xa uzisebenzisa, uzive ngathi uzitya njengeFacebook okanye iTwitter okanye i-imeyile. Andinakukuxelela ukuba lingakanani ixesha endilichithileyo ndityibilika kwiTinder, kwimeko yokudideka, ukufumana umdlalo-kwigumbi lokuhlambela, emsebenzini, ukuhamba ezitalatweni, nangemihla yeTinder-ulwandle lwamagama kunye ubuso kunye neephonografi ezingacacanga ezijikeleza ingqondo yam. Ngamaxesha athile, bendikhe ndibone abantu endisebenza nabo kunye nabantu endibaziyo kwi-OkCupid kwaye ndizibuze, ngeentloni, ukuba bebendibonile, nabo.

Imiyalezo yahlukile. Ndichithe iiyure ezininzi ndisenza amanqaku kubantu abaninzi abangaziwayo ababhinqileyo kangangokuba ndaqala ukukhathazeka ndingazitshisa njenge ntatheli. Kodwa ndaphinda ndithumele umyalezo ofanayo kumthwalo wamantombazana ngeentsuku apho ndingaziva ndicinga-ngamanye amaxesha iHowdy elula, endathi kum bahlobo bam ababhinqileyo yayindixakile-ukubona nje ukuba akukho nto ithe nca.

Yiloo nto bendiyenza ngenye imva kwemini kwifowuni yam xa bendikope ngempazamo kwaye ndincamathisela i-URL ye ENew Yorker iqhekeza Umjongi alum Nick Paumgarten kwibhokisi yomyalezo kwi-OkCupid kwaye wayithumela kwintombazana engalindelekanga.

Enkosi, uNick, wabhala, echukumisekile yile ayithathele ubuchule bam bokubhala. Unendlela enamagama.

Ungcwatyiwe, ndiyicime incoko yethu kwaye ndinethemba lokuba ngekhe aphinde andibhalele. (Akazange axolise, uNick.)

Mhlawumbi ngendamchazela uburharha kule meko kwaye ndiphume naye, kodwa ndandingazimiselanga ukuzibeka esichengeni sokuzihlaza. Ndiyabathanda abantu abayixabisayo ENew Yorker , ngapha koko, njengomntu onomdla oneminyaka engama-22 ubudala waseFlorida owandixelela, ngomhla wethu wokuqala kwiSithili saseFlatiron ebusika obudlulileyo, ukuba ndiyidayimani erhabaxa. Awu, mhlawumbi kancinci krwada. Umhle, watsho kwisicatshulwa ngemini elandelayo, xa ndimbuza kwakhona. Kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo andicingi ukuba ndingazibona ndithandana nawe.

Ngokwenene? Akukho nomnye umhla wokujonga nje ukuba ubuphosakele? Ayisiyiyo le ndiyithethileyo kuye, ewe. Khange ndiyityhale, ndimbulele ngempendulo yakhe ethembekileyo, kwaye ibisisiphelo saloo nto.

Kuza kubakho amanye amantombazana, bendisazi, njengonontlalontle oneminyaka eyi-25 (wayethanda i-jazz (!)) Ndadibana kwi-bar kwi-East Village. Wayemkhulu. Ngephinde ndaphuma naye ngomzuzwana. Wayemhle kwaye ezolile kwaye ekhululekile kuye, kwaye wandixelela, ngaphandle kokuzibophelela, ukuba uyayithanda inyama yenkonyana. Ndiyawathanda amantombazana athanda inyama yenkonyana. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, ndacela ukuphinda ndimbone. Wabuyela kum kwangoko. Ndikonwabele kakhulu ukuphuma nawe, watsho ngombhalo, kodwa ndigqibe kwelokuba ndiqale ukubona umntu ngokukodwa.

Kwakukho nomtshato oneminyaka engama-28 ubudala (othanda ubhiya wobugcisa) endadibana naye kusela eWilliamsburg ngo-Epreli. Ngaphezulu kweeyure ezintlanu kwaye uninzi, uninzi lweepenti, sithethe ngezinto ezininzi zabucala-okanye, ngokuchanekileyo, wenza-kwaye ukuphela kobusuku besenza ibhar. Enkosi ngokuba lelona candelo libalaseleyo kwimpelaveki yam, watsho kwisicatshulwa kungekudala emva komhla wethu. Kuya kufuneka sihlangane kwakhona, wandixelela, xa ebuya kuhambo lweveki oluya eCaribbean. Ndamthumelela umyalezo-engabizwanga, ewe, kuba akukho mntu wenza njalo-xa ndicinga ukuba uzakubuya angaze aphinde eve kuye.

Nangona ingqondo yam yangoku yayikukucinga ukuba usweleke kwingozi yenqwelomoya-kutheni enye angayihoyi? -Andinakuthi ndothuswa kukuthula kwakhe, okanye nditsho nokudana. Ngelo xesha, ndandisele ndiyiqhelile.

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Ndingaba, ewe, ndibali elithembekileyo apha. Mhlawumbi bendisenza izinto ezingafunekiyo ngendlela engathandekiyo kule mihla ijika abafazi kakuhle-ndinotyekelo lokuzisa poop kunye / okanye ukuphulula amalungu esini xa ndinxila nabahlobo bam, umzekelo. Kwinxalenye enkulu, nangona kunjalo, ukuba ndikhumbula ngokuchanekileyo, bendihlala phantsi ndimamele kwaye ndithethe kwaye ndicofe isandla sam ndisoyika ngeenwele zam njengoko nditshiza ibhiya.

Kwaye ukuva ezinye iidatha ezikwi-Intanethi zichaza ezona mihla zabo zimbi, bendisenza ulungile, nokuba ndingaba nzima ngendlela engathandekiyo, njengentombazana enye yeTinder endaphuma nayo ndiyibeka emva kokuba ndizamile ukumanga kwiqonga elingaphantsi kwendlela yakhe ukufika.

Ngeke wazi ukuba abantu baya kuba njani xa udibana nabo ngaphandle kweintanethi. Izinto esizifumana zinomtsalane kwiprofayile ekwi-intanethi, utshilo uBenjamin Karney, uprofesa wezengqondo e-UCLA, phantse abananto yakwenza nezinto esizifumana zinomtsalane kubomi bokwenyani xa sihleli phambi kwabo. Into esisabela ngayo emntwini kukuziphatha, kodwa into esiyibonayo kwiprofayili zizimo zengqondo kunye nokukhethwa kunye neempawu zangasemva.

Ikwajonga, ekunokwenzeka ukuba ndiphendule kuyo. Nokuba ndiyavana nawe lelinye ibali, kwaye ngekhe kugqitywe-ngesityhilelo! -Ukuba siyawathanda amaphephancwadi afanayo. Inzala inokukhomba kumaxabiso, ewe, kodwa kuthatha ixesha ukufumana umntu, kwaye umhla wokuqala awunakho nokunikezela ngexesha elaneleyo lokwenza oko ngokwaneleyo.

Isigwebo siphezulu kakhulu ngomhla wokuqala-ngakumbi olungiselelwe kwi-intanethi-ngamanye amaxesha umntu odlayo uya kumgxotha lowo uza kuba liqabane lakhe xa ebenokufanelana. Oku kwenzeke kumfana oneminyaka engama-44 e-Chelsea, owayengumvelisi wezemidlalo wabantwana abafudukela eNew York kunyaka onesiqingatha esidlulileyo kwaye wayeneminyaka engama-15 kwiinyanga ezimbini ngaphambi kokuba angene kwi-intanethi kungekudala. Wadibana nendoda ebharini, ekwi-Intanethi, eyayithe isebenza kukhuseleko. Emva koko, ngomhla, wavuma ukuba wayesebenza ngokwenene njengonogada, owawulahlekisayo, kodwa kubonakala ngathi ulwaphulo oluxolelweyo, ukuba ungumfana.

Wayenxibe kakuhle, wayemhle, kwaye ndiqinisekile ukuba wayengumntu olunge nyhani, watsho, kodwa wandilahla kude emva koko kwaba njalo.

Ndikhona. Ndakhe ndadibana nomfundi wase-Eugene Lang owayemhle kwaye enxibe kakuhle ebharini e-Union Square owathi uyamthanda uAnatole Broyard, omnye wababhali endibathandayo. Uvakalise igama lakhe u-A-na-TOL-ee BROY-ard, nangona kunjalo, ebendicaphukisa, ngasizathu sithile.

Okwangoku, kukho abo bafumana ukuthandana emva kweenyanga okanye iminyaka yokusebenza nzima. Ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi ngumsebenzi, watsho omnye umfazi okwiminyaka engama-40 (uthanda uFaulkner), umzobi. Ndijonge nje njengomsebenzi omkhulu. Uchithe iminyaka emine emseleni wedijithali wokuthandana-ukuya kuthi ga ngoku ekusebenziseni indawo yokuthandana ebizwa ngokuba yi OnlyFarmers.com- ngaphambi kokuba afumane indoda eyonwabileyo malunga neenyanga ezine ezidlulileyo nge-OkCupid.

Wayencokola kakuhle kwaye wandixelela izinto ezintle zabucala ngobomi bakhe ngomhla wokuqala, utshilo. Ngoku, wongeze, wamnika impumelelo entsha, ndiqinisekile ukuba kuya kufuneka uye kwiintsuku zokuqala ezingama-50 ngaphambi kokuba udibane nomntu omthandayo. UMnu Reis waxhasa ithisisi yakhe. Kuya kufuneka ulinge kakhulu, utshilo. Khumbula, konke kuthatha ukubetha kube kanye. Ukuba uya kwimihla yokuqala engama-50 kwaye ufumana enye esebenzayo, ndingathanda ukuba oko kube yimpumelelo.

Kwaye ke kukho abantu abangenathamsanqa, njengomhlobo wethu wentengiso yedijithali, obekwiminyaka ephantse ibe ngama-400. Yafika kwinqanaba, wathi, ndiyakulibala umntu endikhe ndaphuma naye kwindawo enye ndize ndibabone kwenye indawo kwaye ndiqonde ukuba sele ndiphumile nabo.

Ekuphela kwabantu ababonakala ngathi bayakonwabela ukuthandana ngaphambi komtshato ngabo babekwayo. Ukuba uza kuba nesimo sengqondo esibi ngayo, awuzukuzonwabisa, kwaye ukuba uphume phandle ufuna umntu othile, uyazidubula elunyaweni, utshilo oneminyaka engama-31 IBrooklynite esebenza kumandla ahlaziyekayo, iqhubeka malunga nemihla emibini yokuqala ngeveki kwaye ijikelezisa abafazi abasibhozo ababonayo kwaye ilala nabo ngamaxesha athile.

Ndizama ngokwenyani ukudibana nabantu endiza kucofa nabo kwaye ndifuna ukuxhoma nabo kwakhona, utshilo usomashishini oneminyaka engamashumi amathathu. Kodwa, wandixelela kumyalezo kaFacebook, ndaye ndagqiba ukuba ndinokuthi ithathe ingqalelo njengeyona 'ininzi yesini' (ubuncinci ngokweGP yam) njengempembelelo esecaleni.

Ingxaki kukuba, andilulo olohlobo lomntu. Owu, hayi indlela endinqwenela ngayo ukuba ndibesisilayi, ukuba nje kukwexeshana! Kodwa ndinentloni kwaye andonelisi ngokwaneleyo kwaye ndinexhala kwaye ndinengxaki yokufunda abantu basetyhini. Ndaye ndagoduka nentombazana enye. Wayemnandi kwaye kulula ukuthetha naye, kodwa ekwakude nokude. Ngexesha lonke langokuhlwa, wakhankanya amaxesha amaninzi ukuba abuyele kwigumbi lakhe, nto leyo yandothusa. Ngexesha esasenza ngalo, kwindawo enxilileyo, ndaqonda ukuba wayendingenisile kwindawo engaqhelekanga yokudlala endandingazi ukuba ndiyinxalenye yayo.

Kwindawo yakhe, wayejike ngokulukuhla kunye nokuma. Wayikhulula kwangoko ibhlukhwe yakhe. Le nto ubuyifuna, andithi? Utsho ephuma kwigumbi lokuhlambela. Ke, xa singena ebhedini yakhe, kubonakala ukuba utshintsha ingqondo.

Ndabuya umva, ndibhidekile.

Vele uhambe nayo, utshilo, esaphula isimilo okomzuzwana.

Ndamenza, kodwa andizange ndiphinde ndimbone.

Kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zidlulileyo, ndiye ndazama kaninzi ukucima iakhawunti yam yokuthandana kwi-Intanethi, kodwa ukuyikhuphela kwakhona kungekudala. (Ngubani omnye oza kuthambekela kwimidlalo yam yeTinder eyi-1,200?) Khange ndibekho kumhla okwi-intanethi malunga nenyanga, nangona kunjalo-ndiyicimile iakhawunti yam yeOkCupid kunye neTinder kunye neJSwipe kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, kwaye ndiziva ngathi amalungu omzimba amathathu ngalo mzuzu; Ndiyathemba ukuba yinto nje yethutyana leyo.

Ndabona ukuba inkqubo yokuthandana ngokulandelelana kwayo yayiba, kum, ibeyinto entsha neyoyikeka kakhulu yezoluntu, indivalela kwiintlobo zokuhlangana ngaphandle kweintanethi ezingandivumela ukuba ndifumane umntu onokuthi nditsaleleke kuye.

Kwinyanga ephelileyo, kanye ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi, ndiyathemba, okokugqibela, bendikwipati eluphahleni eWilliamsburg xa ndadibana nentombazana entle ebonakala ngathi ihlakaniphile kwaye iyahlekisa kwaye ilungile kwaye zonke ezo zinto zilungile. (Khange ndijonge i-OkCupid okanye iTinder ubusuku bonke, eyayiluphawu olulungileyo.)

Sathetha nje malunga nemizuzu emihlanu, kodwa kwabonakala ngathi ikhona into apho, kwaye xa emkayo, wandijonga wajonga uhlobo lokujonga olwalundixelela ukuba kufanele ukuba ndicele inombolo yakhe. Besele ndiyazi, ngapha koko, ukuba ndiyamthanda. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, ndicinga emva epatini, ndakhumbula ukuba ndimbonile kwiTinder.

Besingalingani.