U-Anthony Bourdain.Imifanekiso ka-Ian West / PA nge-Getty Izithombe Wayeyititan, imbongi kunye nomlomo onembiza. Wayenobuchule be-acerbic ye-Oscar Wilde protagonist kunye ne-bacchanalian instinct ye-death roadie yensimbi. Wayefundwe kakuhle. Wayexhawulwa ngesandla ekwazi ukushukuma ukusuka ekuqhwaleleni ukuya ngasemva kuxhomekeke kwinqanaba lamandla akhe. Ukwenze waziva ubandakanyiwe kuyo nayiphi na incoko eyenzekayo. Wayeyile ndlela kanye onokucinga ngayo ngobuqu. Wayeququzelela incoko ngcono kunaye nabani na emhlabeni, nokuba bekukho iikhamera ezibalekayo okanye hayi. Wayelungile ngamagama ephefumlela umona kwaye ke ngokuzimisela emsebenzini wakhe waphefumlela umzamo ofanayo. Usebenze ngokungakhathali esenza ukuzinikela kunye nembeko kwizifundo zakhe zikhanye. Wayengumfundi ongunaphakade, elambele ukufunxa intsingiselo yento ebekwe phambi kwakhe, hayi ukuze ayisebenzise ngokulula, kodwa ukuze aguqulele umongo wayo kuthi. Wayehlala ekhaya kwibhotwe njengoko wayehlala kwikhabhathi okanye kwilali encinci yesithathu. Wayelithanda ilizwe njengokuba wayethanda iMelika. Ukanti wayehlala elindele okungcono eMelika, kwaye wayethetha ngothakazelelo ukuba kubenjalo, oku kwamnceda ukuba amenze uphawu lweMelika uqobo.
Wayengumpheki olungileyo, naye.
Kumashumi eminyaka u-Anthony Bourdain egqibe amaphepha ethu kunye noomabonakude njengombhexeshi, -igama elingonelanga ukuchaza into athe wakwazi ukuyifeza ngeenkqubo ze Akukho kubekelwa bucala kwaye Iinxalenye ezingaziwayo . Imiboniso enokuncitshiswa ngokungakhathali ukuba ibe malunga nokutya okanye ukuhamba, kodwa yayizizilumko zokucamngca ngenkcubeko, imida, intlalontle kunye nemeko yomntu. Xa ujonga kwi-bio yakhe ye-twitter, ifundeka ngokulula, kwaye akukho ngcaciso ingcono. Wayenomdla kwihlabathi uqobo. Kwaye njengabo bonke abathanda kakhulu, igalelo lakhe alivelanga kwinto ethile, isaccharine instin ukuba ikholise, kodwa kwiintlungu uqobo.
Ngelixa abaninzi befunda Imfihlo yeKhitshi Ukuvezwa kwayo kwindawo enesisa yeendawo zokutyela ezintle, ngebabe balihoyile ibali lokwenyani lomntu olwa ne-heroin yeziyobisi kwaye ngobabalo waphuma kwelinye icala. Ixesha elidlulileyo likaBourdain, ingxaki yakhe, umsindo wakhe, konke kwaphuma ngokunyaniseka okuthe ngqo, okwathi kwamnika imfesane ngenxa yengcambu yengcambu esemva kwayo. Yile nto kanye emenze waba luvelwano kwihlabathi. Kwaye mhlawumbi elona nani linye losasazo kunye nokutya (umhlaba wam awuthandayo) endiwuthandileyo ngaphaya kokuqonda. 
U-Anthony Bourdain uboniswe ekhitshini laseSydney xa wayetyelele e-Australia ngo-2005.Ifoto ngu-Fairfax Media ngokusebenzisa i-Getty Izithombe
Ngale ntsasa ndifumanise ukuba uzibulele.
Ndandisele ndilele ubusuku bonke, inxalenye yesiphumo esibuhlungu semihla engapheliyo kwaye akukho shedyuli yomntu yokuyithobela. Kanye xa ukukhanya kokusa kungena ngefestile yam kwaye ndade ndozela, ndazibona iindaba… ndakhwaza. Ndaphosa ifeni ecaleni kwebhedi yam ngaseludongeni. Ndikhalile. Ndaya kwikatatoni. Ndamazi, Horatio. Abantu baqala ukufikelela kum xa besiva iindaba, kuba, bayazi ukuba kufanelekile. Kwaye emva koko, ndathi ndibona izingqi ezifanayo kunye namanqaku athethwayo edlalwa kwi-intanethi xa kufikwa kumba, emva kokubhubha kwakhe, ndaqonda ukuba ekugqibeleni kufuneka ndithethe into yobuqu ngokungangqinelani, amagama athile.
Kungenxa yokuba ndiwujongile lo mbandela kakhulu.
Ukuzibulala, okanye loo nto inqwenela ukungachazwa ngegama, lirhamncwa elingaphaya kokuqonda kwabantu abaninzi. Bayibona njengengabambekiyo, into ethi ibaleke ngokwendalo. Kodwa eneneni ifana ne-arhente yokulala, ebekwe kwingqondo yakho kwakudala zizinto ezingaphaya kolawulo lwakho. Kwaye emva kweminyaka yokuzithemba kwaye ungabinakho ukunxibelelana nayo konke konke kunokuza ngequbuliso kwi-Intanethi. Ayizizo nje izinto eziqhelekileyo ezenza njalo-uxinzelelo, unxunguphalo, uloyiko, umlutha, ityala elingenakuphepheka-inokuba zizinto ezimangalisa kakhulu nezingaqhelekanga, nazo, ezinokukubeka nje-kilter xa ikhulisa intloko yayo embi. Kodwa elona candelo loyikekayo lokuzibulala yindlela elihamba ngesiquphe ekubeni yinto engenakucingelwa ukuba iyeyona nto ilula emhlabeni. Kuba sesona sisombululo silula, nesona sihle kakhulu kwingxaki engaphaya kokusombulula nayiphi na enye indlela. Ivakala ngokucacileyo.
Kwaye ke, ubomi bakho ngequbuliso buba malunga nokulawula le mpembelelo ihleli iluhlaza. Andikwazi ukucacisa ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuya kwiipesenti ezingama-60 zosuku olunikiweyo ulwa nengcinga enye, kodwa yenye yezona zinto zidinisayo, zityisa wonke umntu anokuzenza. Kwaye nceda uyazi, ayinamsebenzi nokuba yeyiphi impumelelo, yintoni uvuyo, kwaye bubuphi ubuhle onokubushiya ngasemva xa uthatha ubomi bakho. Kuba ndinazo zonke iiakhawunti, ndizenzile, ngendlela abaninzi abaphupha ngayo kwaye bacinga ukuba ziya kusombulula iingxaki zabo. Kodwa isigqebelo esikhohlakeleyo kukuba ekubambeni ngokwenyani zonke ezo zinto zithandekayo, baya kusebenza kuphela ukukubonisa ukuba iimpembelelo zokuzibulala kunye noxinzelelo zisekhona.
Kwaye baya kuhlala bekhona. Oko kukuthi, de ube unokwazi ngandlela thile, ngandlela thile, ukubetha umva ngamaza enkqubo yoqobo eya kude kakhulu kangangokuba awubazi ngokwenyani ubomi ngaphandle kwabo. Uyazi kuphela ukuba ubusoloko ubaleka kubo, kwaye ngokwala malunga loo nto.
Kodwa yintoni enokudala into enamandla kangaka?
Ewe, sikubiza ngokuba ngumothuko, kodwa kungaphezulu kokuba eli gama linokuvumela, kuba lihlala lifakwe kwimingxunya yemihla ngemihla eyazisa ulwazi lwethu lwemihla ngemihla lwehlabathi. Iba yingqondo egcwele iindlela ezingafezekanga zokukopisha, izinto esicinga ukuba ziya kusinika iimpendulo kwiingxaki zobomi, kodwa ekugqibeleni ngekhe. Kwaye xa ekugqibeleni bewa kwaye betshisa, siqala ukutshisa ngendlela esingazange sicinge ukuba inokwenzeka. Ke into esiyiqondayo kukuba ezo ndlela zokukopisha zingaqondanga zenze ikati yokuzibulala, ekuphela kwendlela egqibeleleyo kunye nokucima indlela yokujongana nayo yonke into.
Kwaye nantsi ke: eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuzibulala kukuba sisisombululo esifanelekileyo. Kwaye ukuphuma ngaphandle kwayo, ukuhlala nayo, kunye nokuthatha ngokufanelekileyo yonke loo ntlungu kwaye ufumane indlela yokubuyisela kwaye uncede umhlaba yinto engenakuze icinge ngayo. Ngaloo ndlela, into eyenziwa ngu-Anthony Bourdain yayinguHerculean. Sisenzo sobabalo ngokwaso. Usinike isipho kwaye awuqondi ngokwenene ukuba kuthathe ntoni ukuze asinike. Ke ngelixa ndibetha isifuba sam kwaye ndikhwaza kuphahla olushushu malunga nendlela eyenzeke ngayo le nto imbi, kukho inxenye yam ethi… ngokulula iyayazi into awayejamelene nayo.
Kwaye ndiyazingca ngaye ngokwenza oku kube kukude.
* * *
Ngelixa kunokubonakala kunengqiqo ukuphelisa loo nqaku, amanyathelo okusebenza ahambelana nale ncoko abaluleke kakhulu ukuba angahoywa. Nazi ke ezinye iingcebiso:
1. Xa izinto ezinje zisenzeka, ukunxibelelana neeNombolo zoThintelo lokuThintela ukuzibulala konke kulungile kwaye kulungile, kodwa (kwaye ndingathetha kuphela kumava am) kufana nokuzisa umpu weBB kwimfazwe yenyukliya. Iifowuni zingalunga kuba zikwenza uthethe imizuzu embalwa, kodwa uninzi lwabantu alubuyeli kubo emva kweminxeba yokuqala. Oko kuthetha ukuba ngandlela thile, ngandlela thile, ukufumana umntu kunyango lwexesha elide (elibiza kakhulu) sesona sisombululo sinethemba lokufikelela kumthombo wengxaki ehleli nzulu, ethande ukuba ngoyena nobangela woxinzelelo lokuzibulala.
2. Sukuxakaniseka kukuthetha ngokuzibulala. Ndiyazi ukuba kuyothusa xa abantu bezisa, kodwa into eyenzekayo ayizukuba nanto uyenzayo okanye ungayenzi, kwaye endaweni yoko baxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kumadabi angaphakathi umntu ajongene nawo. Kuba rhoqo, eyona nto inkulu umntu ekufuneka eyenzile kukubonisa iimvakalelo zokuzibulala ngaphandle kokuziva ungowasemzini ngokwenza oko. Umzekelo, ndaye ndavakalisa iingcinga zokuzibulala kumhlobo wam olungileyo ngobunye ubusuku xa ndisela iziselo kwaye wandijonga efile emehlweni kwaye wathi Kulungile… ukuba uyayenza, ndingayifumana iTV yakho? kwaye bekuyihlaya bendifuna ukuliva kakubi, kwaye ndiya kuhlala ndibulela @JimJarmuschHair.
3. Ukuba ufuna ukunceda umntu owaziyo ukuba uyasokola, okanye ukrokrela ukuba uyasokola, awudingi kwenza nto ikhethekileyo. Vele ufikelele kwezona ziqhelekileyo nezindlela eziqhelekileyo. Yitsho ukuba kuya kufuneka ufumane isidlo sasemini, okanye ubamemele kwinto ethile. Benze ukuba babeke into kwikhalenda. Zalisa nje ngesiqhelo kwaye ubanike ithuba lokuthetha ukuba bafuna njalo. Awudingi ukuba ligorha, okanye ugqirha okanye nokuba yi-BFF, yiba nguwe, kwaye ubakhumbuze ngehlabathi owabelana ngalo.
Ayisiyiyo yonke into onokuyenza, ingaphezulu kunokuba unokucinga.
Into ehlekisayo ngokubhala yonke le nto kukuba ngesiquphe ndiyasiqonda isipho sokugqibela endisinikwe nguAnthony Bourdain: Ekugqibeleni ndinesibindi sokuthetha ngalo mbandela ungaginyisi mathe, ngokunyaniseka nangokuzimisela… kanye njengokuba wenzayo
Hayi. Eso fuckin bastard.
< 3 HULK
