Cookie kunye noLucious Ubukhosi , Apho eneneni ngamagama abo okwenyani. (Fox) (Inqaku loMhleli: Nangona siyinxalenye yendlela eya kwi-Fox 'hit show E m pire, besikhe sazibamba sayijonga de sade safumana umrekhoda owayefuna ukubhala malunga ne-King Lear-ish hip-hop melodrama. Ukuzisa ilungu elitsha le-tvDownload, Igalelo leElle.com kunye nombhali we-Intanethi, u-Rightor Doyle!)
Umntu Ubukhosi abalindi, wamkelekile kwisishwankathelo sakho seveki somboniso uhlala usazi ukuba uyafuna kodwa awuzange wazi ukuba ungasicela njani. Kuba siqala iziqendu ezimbalwa apha, ndingathanda ukuthatha ikhefu kwiyure yethu entsha yokuthandaza yesepha HD kwaye ndikunike i-sepia toned backstory. Njengodade wethu osuka komnye umnumzana uFräulein Maria wathi kwaba bantwana banemibhobho yegolide Von Trapp abantwana: Masiqale kwasekuqaleni. Yindawo entle kakhulu ukuqala. Bonke abo bakhwele eLincoln Towncar Express ukuya kwiSitishi seDrama esiPhakamileyo!
Fox (kunye ne-Illuminati) bangathanda ukuba siyiqonde loo nto Ubukhosi ngu UKumkani uLear iseti kwilizwe likaPuff Daddy ngexesha likaP.Diddy. Andikwazi ukuthi baphosakele ngokupheleleyo. UKing Daddy akanalo ixesha elininzi eliseleyo, ke uxelela abantwana bakhe ukuba oyena mntwana ufanelekileyo uya kubudla ilifa ubukumkani bakhe. Nangona kunjalo, kwifom ye-hip hop eyinyani le yeyona Shakespearean remix / phakamisa phezulu kunelizwi lokuphinda ubhale ngegama. NguLear, ewe, kodwa ikwayiHamlet kwindawo yokurekhoda; IMacbeth eneendawo zokuhlamba; URichard the III Ibonisa i-Courtney Love. (Okuninzi ngaloo kamva.)
Kwathi qatha kum ukuba Ubukhosi ikwanazo nee-shades zethu ezisandula ukukhunjulwa nguFräulein ngesimo sakhe sengqondo kunye nefella yakhe eyayikwimo yeemo. Uyabona, ndicaphula amazwi amnandi kaJulie Andrews Isandi soMculo ngenjongo. Ngangoko Ubukhosi imi kwiinduku zokuxhuzula usapho lakwaLear-esque ikwathatha imikhondo kusapho lomntu wonke oluthandayo olucula kamnandi olusuka kumaNazi. NDIVENI.
ULuscious Lyon (uTerence Howard ngokupheleleyo uChristopher Plummer pompadour kunye ne-bravado efanayo) ubakhulisile abantwana bakhe ngaphandle komama. Ekuphakameni kwempumelelo yakhe, uzifumanela iBaroness, eyingoma ehamba noKaty Perry: Kushushu njengeebhola kwaye kubanda njengekhephu. Ngena uMaria, okanye njengoko simazi kwi Ubukhosi Ihlabathi, i-COOKIE (UTaraji P. Henson, ukuqokelela ii-EGOTs ngokuqhwanyaza kwezandiso zakhe zeempungutye). Uvela kubomi obuvalelweyo kumzi woonongendi (okt intolongo eyiyo) ukukhulisa abantwana (eshiye ngasemva) kwaye ugqibela ngokufumana inkululeko enkulu kunye namandla okuba sehlabathini lokwenyani. Ngokukhawuleza ubethela abantwana imilo ngokudibanisa kwakhe i-wacky ye-sass yangasemva kunye nomculo onothando, ngalo lonke elixesha esenza uLuscious athandane naye. Kwaye ekugqibeleni wonke umntu uphila ngokonwaba emva… ngaphandle kwayo yonke iMfazwe yesibini (II) yeHlabathi yeYurophu… noLuscious one ALS kwaye oneminyaka emithathu ukuba aphile.
Kulungile, ndiye ndaphambuka apho, kodwa ngoku ufumana isiseko. Masingene nje.
Isiqendu sesi-7 sisibulisa njengoBukhosi boLonwabo ukuseka umboniso wotyalo-mali ngethemba lokufumana imali eyaneleyo yokuya esidlangalaleni (kwingqondo yeWall Street). UJamal, unyana kaLuscious oyisitabane, unengxaki yokuya esidlangalaleni (kwimeko yoluntu) ngesini sakhe. Ngokwendalo, isoka lakhe elihle laseLatino liyamshiya. Kwangelo xesha owayesakuba ngumfazi kaJamal kumtshato owawulungiselelwe ngaphambili ngutata wakhe (ongamkeliyo) uqengqeleka nentombazana encinci entle ethi yeyakwaJamal. (Andicingi ukuba sikwiholide yokuqala yorhwebo). UCookie olawula uJamal, uyamngxamela ukuba adlale umboniso wotyalo mali. ILuscious ayinayo kwaphela. Inye kuphela unyana oza kudlala umtyali-zimali kwaye iya kuba yeyona ithe tye, Hakeem, ojongeka njengoLil Wayne ukuba uLil Wayne usebenze kwi-Forever 21.
U-Hakeem unengxaki yamanenekazi yonke eyakhe. Kwaye ngeengxaki ndithetha uNahomi Campbell, ukuba ndingaya nje kwirekhodi apha kwaye ndithi nguthixokazi wayo yonke into entle kwaye izazinzulu kufuneka zifunde ulusu lwakhe okanye oososayensi mabasixelele sonke oko bebekwenza kulusu lwakhe ngoko nangoko. (Inqaku elisecaleni: UNaomi Campbell noJLo kufuneka baphile kwimibhobho yejeli ye-petroleum jelly. Yiyo kuphela kwendlela yokuchaza loo mibimbi simahla.
Ke, uNahomi Campbell, ubuhle obungenakwenzeka kwiminyaka engapheliyo (ogama linguCamilla Marks kodwa okhathalayo) uthandana noHakeem. Ewe ufunda ilungelo. Hakeem! I-elap Keebler elf enencasa yezinto zexabiso lesikhumba zejel kwaye ibonisa ipenisi yakhe kubahlobo bakhe abangamadoda kwiibhola zepiyano kukuthandana yenye yezona supermodels zaziwa kakhulu ngalo lonke ixesha. Uthando aluboni okanye mandithi imali inamandla kodwa imbi ebusweni bamadoda kuyo kwaye injalo indlela yehlabathi. Ayisiyiyo nje ukuba uyathandana naye kodwa uyamcenga ukuba aye KULUNTU ngolwalamano lwabo (Ngaba uva ipateni / umxholo / isikweko / isando apha?) UNahomi, sukuyanga le nkosana yesele! Yiya ufumane inkosana yokwenene kwaye uphuze loo nto! Okanye uye kufuna iNkosana uze uyiphuze loo nto! Uhlala eMinneapolis! Ndiyazi ukuba unobangela we-Intanethi!
Omnye unyana kaLuscious noCookie, ogama lakhe ndihlala ndijonga phezulu kuba andikhumbuli nto ngaye (ujonga igama ngoku….) URERE. UAndre kunye nenkosikazi yakhe emhlophe kaMary Macbeth, basebenza nzima bezama ukufumana imali eza kubakhusela kwisivumelwano se-IPO kwaye ekugqibeleni iRoyal Records yona kanye xa utata sele ebona ukuba uAndre unomdla kangakanani. Kodwa, ewe, ngaphambi kwesidlo sangokuhlwa kunye nabatyali zimali abazizityebi apho uAndre wayenokuthi abonise utata wakhe abatyali abamhlophe abazizityebi, uLuscious uyaphuma ngokungummangaliso aze aphelele esibhedlele.
Sonke siyazi ukuba kutheni. Sonke siwenzile uMngeni weBucket. Yintsapho yakhe kuphela ayenzi njalo. Ngaphandle kwezinto ezincinci, kuphela ngumfazi wakhe omtsha, endiza kumbiza njengo-Halle Berry no-Halle Berry kuphela kuba yile nto uCookie ambiza ngayo kwaye uCookie uyindlovukazi, uyayazi inyani. Esibhedlele sifumanisa ukuba ichiza lokuvavanywa kukaLuscious lokunyanga i-ALS enganyangekiyo yayiyityhefu nje kwaye iyamenza mandundu. Yhu. Ndiyonyanya xa ndithatha ityhefu. Ngaphandle kwaxa indenza ndibhitye.
Ngeli xesha uGabourey Sidibe (ngeyona ndlela yakhe intle kwi-Greco-Roman curly blig wig ngento umhlobo wam uMegan ayibiza ngokuba ziingcambu zokukhulelwa) ufumana uJamal omncinci mhlawumbi umntwana oyintombazana kwisinyusi kuba i-momma yakhe ibonakala ngathi ibalekile. Yhu. Ndiyakucaphukela ukushiywa ngumama. Ngaphandle kwaxa indenza ndibhitye.
Ukuthetha ngokushiywa, u-Courtney Love, olungileyo ekusebenzeni (bhala phantsi kwaye uyikhumbule), ubuya njengesiyobisi esiphilayo / inkwenkwezi ye-rock ejonge ukuyenza ukuba ibe luluntu olukhulu (iipateni! Imiqondiso! M. Night Shyamalan!) buyela ekukhanyeni. Kwaye i-Cookie, ngoku elawula / eqeqesha Uthando ngaphandle kweziyobisi, ucinga ukuba umboniso wotyalomali uza kuba yinto nje. Ngengubo eqinileyo engwevu kunye nokuhamba okunzima, U-Nks. Uthando ucula inombolo yomculo efana nenani lomculo kulo mboniso bendinalo: Ndilinde, oku kinda… NDIDINGA LE NGOMA EBOMINI BAM. Ke, kwakhona, uCookie usebenzise uMaria Von Trapp-ness wakhe ukwenza umhlaba kunye nomfanekiso we-Courtney Love indawo engcono! Awu, ayihlali thuba lide, kuba uHalle Berry, onomona ngazo zonke izinto zeKuki (Njengoko kufanele ukuba enjalo! YAZI INDAWO YAKHO !!!!), uhamba neziyobisi ezingamanzi ukutyibilika ungene iti yaseCourtney. Iqela le-CoLo liphakama kakhulu lisela iti enye, lizenza ngathi li-menthol litshaya iintlanzi ngaphandle kwamanzi kwi-velvet ottoman ebomvu kwigumbi lokuhlambela lamanenekazi. Ugh. Nanko ebuya. Kwaye ngoku akakwazi ukwenza loo ngoma ndiyayithanda kwakhona. Idama. Owu, mva ungandikhumbuza ukuba ndifumane i-ottoman yelaphu lokuhlambela? Ndicinga ukuba yinto entle kakhulu kwaye isempilweni, enkosi.
Ngoku, kunye neCocoLoco ngaphandle komfanekiso, iqela lemigulukudu lifuna ukusebenza okukhulu. Emva komdlalo omncinci obandakanya uJamal noHakeem abafuni kucula kunye, uCookie ubeka amakhwenkwe akhe ngokuthe ngqo malunga nokuba utata wabo wasebenza nzima kangakanani ukuze awafumane apha. Bayavuma. Konke kulunge! Ngummangaliso! Cookie, uyi Annie Sullivan we Hip Hop!
Sika kuMboniso woTyalo-mali! Iibhodi zabantu abamhlophe zixinanisa igumbi ngethemba lokuphosa i-fiver kwiMotown yangoku, kodwa kuqala kufuneka bachukumiseke OKANYE NGENYE. Amakhwenkwe ayaphuma kwaye ayayichukumisa ayenzayo, ebeka umboniso wokwenyani ngelixa amantombazana anee-bikinis zegolide kunye neTV zeentloko ezibajikeleze. ISidenote: Ukuba bendityala imali kurhwebo lwasesidlangalaleni, kufuneka nditsho ukuba le ntsebenzo iyakundibandakanya ngendlela ebaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa yintoni endiyaziyo: Ndakhe ndacinga ngokuthenga isitokhwe kuzo zombini iiMcDonald's KUNYE neBurger King ngoba ndandingafuni ukudlala iintandokazi.
Kwindlela ekhohlakeleyo yegumbi lombhali, njengoko amakhwenkwe akhe ekhanya, iLuscious ALS iqala ukuvala umqala wayo. Ngokuphakuzela malunga nokuba ngubani kusapho onokunika intetho enkulu yomtyali njengoko ilizwi lakhe livakala ngathi libhaluni ye helium kumatshini wokuphefumla, uLuscious ugqitha uHalle Berry kunye nonyana endimlibalayo I-Cookie Monster! Intombazana ekrelekrele, Mnumzana uLyon, intombazana ekrelekrele.
UCookie ufumana umdlalo wakhe we-A ++++, osoloko ekulungele ngoba iKuki yazalwa eyi-A ++++, kwaye iphuma iye kulwandle lwabantu abamhlophe, iidola zivuza ezipokothweni zabo. Ujonga nje loo teleprompter ngokudibanisa amagama oshishino kuyo kwaye acinge, NAH NDIZOKUWELA. Kwaye uyazi ukuba kutheni enze lonto? Uyazi ukuba kutheni ethembe amathumbu akhe ukuba nzima?! Kungenxa yokuba, manene nani manenekazi, UNGUMNTU OPHEPHA ILYON. Ikuki isitalato kwaye wonke umntu uhamba ngendlela (AMAZWI AKHE!), Icookie ngumlilo wehlathi kwaye wonke umntu ziibane ezitshisa igesi. Icookie yiGmail kwaye wonke umntu ziinjubaja ezingenamaphiko! UCookie ebesenza intetho kwingqondo yakhe iminyaka eli-17 e-clink. Unayo le! Uyazi ukuba akaze athimaze okanye ums okanye athethe kakhulu. Icookie yiCookie kwaye ekuphela komntu owenza iiKuki ezingcono kuneKuki nguCookie eqongeni kunye neglasi ezimbini zePinot ezantsi gullet yakhe! Ngaba ndifuna ukuba athi uyayibulala? UNOBANGELA WENZA. Ewe kunjalo! Unee-acrylics ezimhlophe ze-lacquer ngenxa yothixo! Bonisa imbeko!
U-Luscious uyabulela i-Cookie ngokusindisa iesile lakhe kwaye ucela kuphela ukuba amxelele okungahambi kakuhle kuye, kuba ngokucacileyo i-Cookie yamqaphela edlula kakhulu kwaye engayichazi. Akukho nto ifika ngeKuki! Emva kokuba uLuscious ethumele uHalle Berry ukuba aphathe uLana del Rey eChicago (Cookie kuphela komntu onokusindisa uLana Del Ray. Esitsho nje), unosapho (kubandakanya nomzukulwana wakhe omtsha osana) abuyele kwindlu yakhe enkulu ukuze Chaza ukuba une-ALS. Bothukile bonke. Lowo ndingamkhumbuliyo igama nenkosikazi emhlophe kaMacbeth, oh ANDRE, uyoyika malunga nokuba ishishini linokuchaphazeleka njani, nto leyo icaphukisa uLil Wayne weTop Shop. I-Gay Jamal ibonakala ngathi ithatha ezona ndaba zilungileyo kodwa masikhumbule ukuba uLuscious wayekhe wafaka uJamal kumgqomo wenkunkuma ngokunxiba izithende eziphakamileyo xa wayesengumntwana. Ke, kuloo mxholo ndiyaqonda ukuba uyafana mhlawumbi nohlobo lwe-blasé re: isifo sika-tata esinganyangekiyo. (PS. Khwaza utata wam ongazange andibeke kumgqomo wenkunkuma (ngokunxiba izithende)!)
Kwaye uCookie uziphatha njani ezi ndaba zoyikekayo, ubuza? Owu uyazi njengeCookie kuphela enako! Ugalela iiglasi ezimbini ezibomvu kwiiglasi zeCourvoisier kwaye ubeke ezinye zeengoma zaseLuscious zakudala njengoko abo babini baqhawule umtshato belingana ngamaxesha amnandi. Bahleka, bayalila, bayadanisa, bayamanga, baya kwigumbi lokulala likaLuscious bayokuqhubeka! Cookie Nookie! Kodwa jika! UHalle Berry uza ngomnyango wegumbi lokulala. Mhlawumbi khange aye kubona uLana del Ray eChicago kuba ndicinga ukuba uLana Del Ray ungaphaya koncedo ngoku? Ewe, gosh. Ndiyaxolisa, uBerryness, uFräulein Cookia noCaptain Learcious abafezekanga ngalo mzuzu! Oda wonke umntu ipitsa kwaye ubeke iikawusi kwisiphatho xa uphuma.
Ikuki Lyon 1000
IHalle Berry 0
ULana Del Ray -12967
Kule veki izayo: UJulie Andrews ubeka imivalo eli-16 xa abantakwabo bebeka unodoli malunga nelungu elililolo lomalusi ogama linguLuscious. Yiba yiKuki onqwenela ukuyibona emhlabeni, bafo!
