Umbhali (ngasekunene) kwigumbi lokuphumla kwiHartford Club kwi2008. Iidola ezimbini — ezimbini ezilishumi — ishumi elinesihlanu—
Sasiphelelwe yimidiza. Kwakhona. Ndiqokelele intwana yemali kwibhakethi leelekese leHalloween esaligcina kwiHonda yam ndaza ndabhalela i $ 2.40. Mna nabahlobo bam siqokelele imali yethu kwirhasi kunye neMarlboros, ingqokelela yeecawa yokuxhasa iicarcinogens kulutsha. Njengokuba bendigqogqa iipeni, ndikhangela ikota, khange ndiqaphele ukuba ubuso obunemigca, obungenamazinyo be-jack-o-lantern bufana njani nomsi ongapheliyo. Andikasiqondi nangoku isizathu sokuba nditshaye, okanye kutheni ndiza kuqhubeka kule minyaka ingama-20 izayo. Ndazi kuphela ukuba ndifuna ukukhanyisa enye, ndinyuse iSnoop Dogg, kwaye mabayeke bobabini baphalaze i-sunroof evulekileyo xa siqhuba. Ndijonge, ndijonge! —Ukuzingca okutshaya nentombazana epholileyo.
Ndiqale nge-16 kuba uJen noMuffy bayenzile, kuba idolophu yam e-humdrum yayicinezela i-IQ yam, kuba ukutshaya kuhlala kwizandla zam zemigulukudu. Kungekudala ndangena, kwaye kungekuphela kwi-nicotine. Andizange ndiyintombazana epholileyo ene Ndijonge! umntu. Bendingaphandle kokugxila, intombazana ngasemva. Ukuba amakhwenkwe ayekunye nam ndandisisidenge, igalelo lam ekuphela kwalo kukuhlekisa, ekuhlekiseni okuhlekisayo kubahlobo bam abahlekisayo. Xa ndatshaya umdiza wam wokuqala ehlathini emva kwetheko lendlu, ndafumana usindiso. Ngorhwebo ngalunye ndiphefumla ngokuzithemba kwaye ndiphefumlela inkungu ukufihla konke okundikhathazayo. Kwaye kwafumaniseka ukuba ibilikhoboka leziyobisi.
Ekuqaleni saqhuba saya kwindlela kaJacob kaJay emva kokuphuma kwesikolo ukuyokugcina i-30 ¢ ipakethe kwiNewport Lights. Kwakungaphambi kokuba nditshintshele eMarlboros, uphawu oluthandwa ngakumbi, nangona incasa ye-menthol yeeNewports idityaniswe kakuhle ne-Aquafresh yam. Kwakungaphambi kokuba ndigcine utshintsho kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba kwibhakethi, ngaphambi kokuba ndifune icuba rhoqo kuyo yonke indawo kwaye ndingenaxesha lokuthenga.
Ukusuka kuJay siqhubile saya kulwaziso lwesikhephe, indawo enkulu engenanto apho simise ngapha nangapha, iifestile ezantsi, iingqiniba ngaphandle, icuba lidibene nezandla zethu. Ukutshaya yayisesona siganeko siphambili, kodwa imfumba yethu yoluntu yeempundu zecuba yenze into enkulu kakhulu kunesibalo samalungu ayo. Asizange sinxibe i-nail polish emnyama okanye amakhonkco empumlo; sasingekho ezo abatshayayo. Ukuba sasivukela into ethile, ndandingayazi.
Ndayeka ukutshaya, kodwa ndinendawo: ukuba utywala busegazini lam, bendinokupasa ngokungenamda.
Abatshayayo beza bahamba. Ndenza abahlobo ngoku ngoku, kwaye iqela lakhula latshintsha. Amakhwenkwe amnandi amile kwiimoto ezindala zezemidlalo nakwizithuthuthu. Ngamanye amaxesha ndandithandana nabo. Ndandihlala ndibathanda. Incoko yayihamba ngoku, kwaye xa ingazange, yayilungile. Ukutshintshisa umsi womntu obesemlonyeni wesinyanzelo kwakunyanzelekile kodwa amagama ayenganyanzelekanga, kwaye ukuthulisa okungathandekiyo kwakungeyongxaki kangako ngokuphefumla nangokuphefumlela ngaphandle ukugxila. Xa ifayile ye- nyani kwafika amakhwenkwe amnandi ndaphelelwa lilizwi, ndakhanyisa ndaza ndawalisela intonga yam yomlingo encinci. Ndaye ndaguquka ndangumsisi othulileyo ndaza ndanguthixokazi opholileyo, uJoan Didion phambi kwecorvette yakhe emhlophe. Igama lakho elitsha ngu-'Chain, 'yatsho eyona nkwenkwana inqabileyo, uDana Jay, njengoko wayendibanekela intsini xa engqiyame ngeFiero yakhe. Naye ndalayita i-tip entsha yomnye kwi-cherry yenye, ndibuyele ngasemva ngasemva. Ndithandane naye iiveki ezine ezipheleleyo, eyona ilungileyo okwangoku kwiminyaka eyi-16. Ndahamba ukusuka kwimbaleki yeenkwenkwezi ndaya kutshaya kweenkwenkwezi, kwaye kwakumnandi.
Ndakhula kakuhle ekuhlaleni njengomntu ozelwe ngokutsha ndaza ndemka ndaya kwiYunivesithi yaseSyrause. Apho ndandinemidiza ye-menthol kwibhokisi yaseMarlboros, ngaphandle kwendawo kwaye ndingqongwe ngophawu lwentengiso. Ndijonge ngokumangaliswa ngamantombazana akwindawo yam yokulala, bonke benxibe iimpahla ezimnyama eziqinileyo, zonke ezemidlalo ziqaqanjisiwe ezinqabileyo njengeRachel on Abahlobo . Ndandinemvume kunye neehempe zeflaneli njengomlimi. Kuhambe ukuzithemba endikufumene ngeemayile zam Marlboro. Ke ndiye ndatshaya njengoko ndinqumle ii-curls zam ndaza ndafumana amanqaku aphezulu kwi-strip mall. Ndatshaya njengoko ndathenga iblukhwe emnyama emnyama kwaye ndathembisa ngobugqwirha. Ndatshaya njengoko ndatshintsha yonke into ngam, konke kodwa ukutshaya-kuba 'amantombazana epati yaseCuse atshaya kwaye Ndiyabulela kuThixo ukuba ndinelungelo. Ndangqungqa ebharini ngokungathi ndisisidenge, nditshaya icuba ngesandla— Ndijonge, ndijonge! -Intombazana yasekolishi esika iikhookie izama ukujonga le ndawo, kodwa inombulelo ngencasa yekhaya.
Ngexesha elithile phakathi kwamaqela kumqolo wobuzalwana ndenze utshintsho olubonakala ngathi lusengqiqweni. Ndayeka ukutshaya, kodwa ndinendawo: ukuba utywala busegazini lam, bendinokupasa ngokungenamda. Ngokuxabiseka kobuso yayisisigqibo sam sobukrelekrele. Ngokwenyani, bekungekho, kuba bendisela ubusuku obusixhenxe ngeveki. Ndisatshaya ngokusisigxina ukususela ngongcwalazi kude kube ngesifingo, kwaye xa ndifuna enye emini, ndatshiza ivodka kwincindi yam yeorenji ndaphakamisa enye ngesidlo sakusasa. Kodwa ungaze ukhathalele ezo nkcukacha; Besele nditshaya ngoku. Yonke into yayiphantsi kolawulo.
Ukuba bendingenamntu endinokuthetha naye, ndiye ndaya kwiingalo ezivulekileyo zabatshayayo, isivumelwano esingathethwanga sokwamkeleka phakathi kwethu.
Kwiminyaka eli-15 elandelayo imithetho yam yokutshaya yahlala injalo kodwa akukho nto yimbi eyenzileyo. Ndaya kwisikolo sezomthetho eConnecticut apho oodade bobugqi babengadibani kakuhle nesihlwele somthetho womgaqo-siseko. Ndandisoyika ukuba ndizive ndindodwa, kodwa ukutshaya kweza ngam, kwahlula izinto ezinyamezelwayo kwizinto ezinganyamezelekiyo zaza zalatha kubahlobo bam abatsha. Ndisebenze nzima imini yonke, kodwa ubusuku bam bendifana nenguqulelo yasekholejini enamagama asemthethweni esiLatin awele kwincoko apho iileta zamaGrike zazisakuba khona. Ukuba bendingenamntu endinokuthetha naye kumsitho, ndingene kwiingalo ezivulekileyo zabatshayayo, isivumelwano esingaqondakaliyo sokwamkeleka phakathi kwethu. Xa ndifuna isibindi sokudibana nendoda, ndacela isibane kwaye ndenza konke okusemandleni am ngemizuzu esixhenxe elandelayo njengoko icuba lethu litshisa njengeglassglass. Xa ndandizibuza ukuba andingowakho kusini na, ukutshaya kwadambisa ukungonwabi kwam njengoko ndandisiya ndisiba ngumntu onjalo.
Ngamaxesha athile phakathi kwesihlalo eshushu seNdlela eStratic kunye nobomi njengegqwetha lokwenyani, utshintsho oluthe ngcembe lwaqala ukusuka kukuzithemba ukuya kwenye into-ukuzithemba? Ubalulekile kuwe? Itotshi yam encinci yakhanyisa indlela, kodwa bekungasoloko kucacile ukuba sisinge kweliphi icala. Njengegqwetha eliselusana, ndigqibe iintsuku ezinde kwibar yekona evumela ukukhanya rhoqo emva komnxeba wokugqibela. Isibane sokutshaya sivuliwe! umthengisi-bhari wayedla ngokutyibilika afike ngakum ukuze nditshise. Ukuvalwa kokutshaya bekukho, kodwa apho bendihleli nomdiza phakathi kwemilebe yam, ndiziva ndibalulekile. Oku kwaba ngumkhwa, ukwenza abahlobo bartenders kunye nokuba ngumntu wangaphakathi okwenyani ngelixa abantu abatshayayo abaqhelekileyo benqatshelwe. Ndandiligqwetha elifanelekileyo ngoku; kwabonakala kufanelekile ukuba ndifumene indlela yokuba ngaphezulu komthetho.
Umama wayesandula ukubhubha, umfana endandithandana naye wayesandul 'ukundilinganisela, kwaye kweli gumbi lincinci linomsi, ndaziva ngathi ndiyakwazi ukuphefumla.
Kwiminyaka yam engama-20 edlulileyo ndadibana neqabane elivela kumzi-mveliso wamagqwetha omkhulu, nohloniphekileyo njengoko wayetshaya umdiza ngumntu olahla inkunkuma. Saba ngabahlobo abasenyongweni nangona sahlukene kwiminyaka engama-30 kwaye kungekudala ndafumana umsebenzi kwinkampani yakhe. Ndisebenzise umrholo wam omtsha ukujoyina iklabhu yeHartford kunye nomhlobo wam uHambo, iklabhu yabucala enegumbi lokuphumla, kuba ibonelela ngendlela ejikeleze ukuvalwa kokutshaya kwabantu abazizityebi, kwaye bendikuthanda ukusela okukodwa iMacallan kukhethwe ezimbalwa. Saqasha ilokhari, amagama ethu ebhalwe ngegolide — ngegolide! -Ukugcina izibane zam zePalamente ze-Ultra, uphawu olukhethiweyo phakathi kwamagqwetha amancinci. Isiqingatha seshumi elinambini lamadoda kwaye sasidibana apho rhoqo, siqokelele kwizitulo zeklabhu zesikhumba phambi komlilo njengoko iintloko zezilwanyana ezixhonyiweyo zijongile ngomona. Iscotch esinye sajika sane, umdiza omnye wajika waba ngama-40. Sasicekeceke, kubo kwizibophelelo zeVineyard Vines, mna ndinxibe iimpahla ezimnyama kancinci sisitabane kakhulu kwifemu yomthetho. Nangona ibar tab yam yenyanga nganye ngamanye amaxesha idlula kwintlawulo yokubolekwa kwemali mboleko, kwabonakala ngathi sisamba esifanelekileyo kumatshini wexesha osithutheleyo wasisa Indoda ephambene Ixesha lokutshaya yayilihle eli. Sikubiza ngokuba yi-'Queen Bee ', isibini esivela kwiklabhu sathi ngobunye ubusuku, njengoko ndandikhanyisa. Ulawulo olupheleleyo lwento yonke kunye nabo bonke abantu abakungqongileyo. Ndijonge, i-Queen Bee !! Emva kwayo yonke loo minyaka yokungafaneleki kakuhle, ekugqibeleni kwabonakala ngathi ndiphethe, ndiwangawangisa iPalamente yam njengenqanawe, ndikhokela eyam iokhestra. Abanye banokuthi ubomi bam babunzulu njengokuba isinqe sam esinexabiso elininzi, kwaye mhlawumbi balungile. Kodwa umama wam wayesandula ukubhubha, umfana endandithandana naye wayesandul 'ukundilinganisela, kwaye kweli gumbi lincinci linomsi, ndaziva ngathi ndiyakwazi ukuphefumla.
Kungekudala ngaphambi kokuba ndibeneminyaka engama-31, ndadibana no-Al kwindawo yokupaka ibhari. Wayengeyonxalenye yeklabhu yentlalontle, engafuni ukufumana indawo entle, enye, kwaye wayengazange wachukumisa umdiza. I-vice yakhe enkulu yayingu-Dulce de Leche ice cream. Nangona sobabini babengamagqwetha, yena wayehlukile kunaye nabani na endakha ndamazi ngabom. Ukanti wajonga ngapha komsi wam womsi kwaye wabona ngaphezulu kwentombazana ethe phithi ngumsebenzi izama nzima ukulunga kwihlabathi lendoda kangangokuba waphantse walibala ukuba ungumfazi. Ndijonge kwikamva lethu ndabona ngokuhlwa ezoyikisayo ezingayi kuqala ngecocktail kwaye ziphele ngecuba. Singathetha njani omnye nomnye? Kungaphelanga nonyaka ndathi masifudukele kwisiXeko saseNew York, kwaye emva konyaka wathi Ngaba uzakunditshata?, Nangonyaka emva koko sobabini ndathi ndiyenza. Ngandlela thile sawafumana onke amagama.
Wakhetha amazwi akhe ngononophelo kwaye akazange azame ukundiphoxa, kodwa inkangeleko yobuso bakhe yandenza ndafuna ukukhasa ngaphakathi kwepakethi yam ndize ndizimele apho.
Ukufudukela eNew York kwakuthetha ukwenza abahlobo abatsha. Isihlwele sam esitsha sabasetyhini asizange sitshaye, sayala iti yakwa-Earl Grey ngeyure yokonwaba, kunye nolwabiwo olwahluliweyo ngokuchanekileyo ngesibali. Ndiza kubona ngo-8: 30, uAl wayedla ngokuhleka, njengoko ndandihamba ubusuku kunye namantombazana. Zimnkile iintsuku zekhadi lokuthenga ngetyala kunye nobusuku obuphela ekuphumeni kwelanga. Kodwa ngaba oko kwakubi kakhulu? Abantu abangatshayiyo babengabantu nabo; yayilixesha lokuba ndiyeke ucalucalulo. Ngapha koko, babenobubele kwaye bekhangelekile kwaye babengenakuze bangangxameli umdiza wam wokugqibela. Xa siphuma kwindawo yokutyela ndakhanyisa phambi kwabo, yayingelo tyala labo ndaziva ngathi yile ntombazana yasekholejini inenwele ezivumelekileyo kwisihlwele esineqabaka. Ngelixa ndandikhuselwe kubantu abaqhelekileyo ngaphakathi kwiHartford Club, khange ndiqaphele ukuba wonke umntu uyekile ukutshaya.
Kodwa andizange ndiyeke; Ndivele ndayeka ukutshaya phambi kwabantu abangatshayiyo. Ndiyigcinele ikhaya, ndinyonyoba ukuya eluphahleni lwethu nangaliphi na ixesha utywala budla imilebe yam. Ndindedwa nge-iTunes yam ndahlala apho iiyure, kwaye xa ndipakisha ibhokisi entsha ngokuchasene nentende yesandla sam ndaya kwenye indawo, uDorothy ecofa izithende zakhe kunye ndibuyele kwiHartford Club. Kwakusaziva ngathi iklasi, wonwabele umsi kumgangatho ophahla ophezulu we-Upper East ojonge izibane zaseNew York. Ungaze ucinge ukuba andinakuba ngumntu otshaya ekuhlaleni xa kungekho mntu ujikeleze naye.
Njengokuba amaqondo obushushu esihla, uphahla endilusebenzisayo ndaziva ndilutofotofo kakhulu. Ndazibopha, ndangcangcazela, ndavuka ndinamadlala adumbayo kunye nomqala obuhlungu. Okwangoku ndaye ndaqhubeka nayo, ndihambisa iqela lam elinye ngaphakathi. Ndaguqula igumbi lethu lokuhlambela elincinci laseManhattan laba yindawo yokuphumla yokutshaya, ndihleli kwindawo yokuhlambela eluhlaza kumgangatho endaweni yesihlalo esikhulu seklabhu yesikhumba. Ndavula ifestile ndaza ndahlala apho iiyure, ndicula cwaka kunye no-Taylor Swift. Andazi ngawe… Kodwa ndiziva amashumi amabini anesibinioooo… Sacula ngazwi linye, kwaye nangona sasiyiva sobabini, nguTaylor kuphela owayekhangele.
Ubutshaya? U-Al ubuze kusasa, ndidanile ngumkhwa wam ophantsi owangcolisa uphahla lwethu kwaye wenza ikhaya lethu ukuba linuke. Wakhetha amazwi akhe ngononophelo kwaye akazange azame ukundiphoxa, kodwa inkangeleko yobuso bakhe yandenza ndafuna ukukhasa ngaphakathi kwepakethi yam ndize ndizimele apho.
Kwaye nangoku Khange ndiyeke. Ndiba sisithukuthezi ngakumbi, nditshentshe yonke into efunxa ukufihla umkhwa wam ongaqhelekanga. Iitawuli-zihambile. Izambatho zokuhlamba iimpahla-ziphelile. Ibhafu Ndiza kuhlala ngantoni?! —Emkile. Ndityibilikise ifestile ndonyusa iisentimitha ezimbalwa ndaza ndakhupha iqhinga lobuchule xa ndiguqa kwindlu yangasese, owayengukumkanikazi kwitrone eyahluke mpela. Iiyure zithathiwe kwaye andinakuyeka, umlutha onokulawula imiqathango de kube kutshintshile ukutshintshela nokulawula. Icuba elinye nje elinye. Ingoma enye kuphela. Ingoma ayiphelelanga, kungcono ukhanyise omnye umdiza. Imidiza ayenziwanga, kungcono udlale enye ingoma. Ivumba lalisoloko lingene nzulu kwiminwe yam kangangokuba kwathatha iintsuku ezimbini ukuyicima.
Ndema ndedwa ecaleni lomqobo phambi kwebar, nditshaya kufutshane nendawo abashiya kuyo inkunkuma. Ndema ecaleni kwee curbs njengabo. Kwaye ngaphakathi kwimiphunga yethu, ngokuqinisekileyo abatshayi bokwenyani kwaye ndaye ndajongeka ngokufanayo.
Ekugqibeleni, ngokuzithemba, ngokubulela, ndaqala ukuzibuza, KUTHENI NDISENZA LENTO?
Ingqondo yam yegqwetha, eqeqeshelwe ukuphikisa amacala omabini etyala, yeza mfutshane. Ukutshaya ngefestile, ukuchitha i-30 yeedola ebusuku kwiipakethe ezimbini zePalamente, bekungandincedi ukuba ndingene, ukufumana ilizwi lam, okanye ukuthetha nendoda. Ndandifunde ukwenza ezo zinto kwiminyaka eyadlulayo. Ngexesha lethu lokuqala eNew York ndafumana imali endiyifunayo. Ndisebenze nzima kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla yequmrhu kwaye ndisebenzisa isincoko sam sokubhala ngelizwi ebusuku. Ndaphuza iti kunye nezintombi ezithile kwaye ndadibanisa i-bourbon nabanye. ndibukele Intombi ehlebayo kunye nomninazala wam oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala kwaye ndaya kumatheko abucala e-MoMA kunye nomhlobo wam oneminyaka engama-60. Ndatshata oyena mntu ndimaziyo, ondenza ngcono, kodwa hayi kuba ndiye ndaba luvukane ngokuvisisana naye okanye nakubani na. Ngokuchasene noko, ndifumene ukuzithemba ukuba yile nto kanye-kwaye konke okubandakanya-kwaye akunakuguqulwa ngoku, nokuba ungathandaza kangakanani na umama wakhe.
Kwakukho isizathu esinye kuphela esasisele sokuchaza ukuqhubeka kwam nokutshaya. Ndiyayithanda. Ndiyithandile imvakalelo yecuba phakathi kweminwe yam, ulwandiso lwendalo lomzimba wam, umda weshumi elinanye owawulapho. Ndiyithandile indlela olwahlukana ngayo uxinzelelo kwaye uvuyo luthathe indawo yalo njengoko umsi ugcwele imiphunga yam. Ndiyithandile indlela ukutshaya kundenze ndaziva ngayo, kumzuzu ngamnye wangoku nakuwo onke amaxesha ukusukela oko ndaguquka i-16, kwaye yandinceda njani ukuba iguquke phakathi kwangoku nangoku. Ndandiyithanda njengamakhwenkwe endandisazi ukuba mabi kum, ngokungathi ndikuthanda ukukhwela izithuthuthu zabo kwisikolo esiphakamileyo. Ukungakhathali. Kuyingozi. Kodwa indlela ilunge kakhulu ukuba ungayeka.
Njengoko ndandicinga ngekamva lam njengomntu otshayayo, ndandingasazi ukuba yeyiphi eyoyikisayo: ukuyeka, okanye ukungayeki. Ukuyeka kunokuthetha ukukhula, ukuvuma ukuba andisemncinci kwaye ndingenakoyiswa, ndivuma ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngezenzo zam yonke loo minyaka njengomntu otshayayo ekuhlaleni. Ukungayeki kwakuthetha ukuzenza ngathi bendingazi ukuba ikhona. Ndiyazi xa ndisela ezimbalwa kwaye nditshaya ipakethi enye okanye ezimbini, hayi icuba okanye ezimbini. Ndayazi qho xa ndingcwaba isalamane sesifo sentliziyo okanye umhlaza, kwaye xa ugqirha wam wathi ndinembali yosapho embi kakhulu awakhe weva, kwaye xa ndathi kuye ndimxelele ukuba ndingumntu otshayayo ekuhlaleni ndisazi ukuba inkcazo yakhe kunye neyam ziyafana. Ndayazi xa abantu endandifunda nabo benesifo somhlaza kwi-30s yabo, kwaye xa abanye babo besweleka. Andizukuba ngaphezulu komthetho xa kufikwa ekufeni, kwaye bendikwazi oko, nam. Ndizamile ukuhlala ndikhanyela kamnandi kodwa uloyiko lwaluphuma kunye nomphunga ngamnye. Umkhwa ombi othathwe ethekweni ngo-'94 bekungafanelekanga ukuba ubukunye nam ethekweni ngo-'14. Kodwa ngobo busuku boNyaka oMtsha, ndema ndedwa ecaleni kwentsika, nditshaya kufutshane nendawo abashiya kuyo inkunkuma. Ndingayinyusa impumlo yam kubantu abatshayayo ngaphandle kweofisi yam njengoko bendileqa usuku ngalunye, ndizama ukungafaki umsi wabo kwisinxibo sam sikaHugo Boss, kodwa oko bekungayi kundisindisa. Ndema ecaleni kwee curbs njengabo. Kwaye ngaphakathi kwemiphunga yethu, ngokuqinisekileyo abatshayi bokwenyani kwaye ndaye ndajongeka ngokufanayo.
Kuyo yonke imali eManhattan andikwazanga ukuhlala iyure kwigumbi lokuphumla lam endilithandayo kunye hayi beka iPalamente kwimilebe yam, ndiyazi ke ukuba andisayi kubuya mva. Ezinye izinto andinakukwazi ukuzenza kwakhona. Kwaye, andenzi njalo.
Ndatshaya umdiza wam wokugqibela xa ilanga liphuma ngale ntsasa yoNyaka oMtsha ngelixa bendihamba nenja yethu uTuck Noodle kwaye ndilibale ukuyonwabela. Kwakungekho fanfare, akukho sisombululo sibhengeziweyo, akukho kutyunyuzwa okumangalisayo kwepakethi. Khange ndiphinde ndiyenze kwakhona. Kunyaka kamva ndisafumana iqhina esiswini sam emva kwebourbon yam yesibini njengoko isigebenga esilambileyo esiswini sam sivuka kwaye sifuna ukondliwa. Kuyo yonke imali eManhattan andikwazanga ukuhlala iyure kwigumbi lokuphumla lam endilithandayo kunye hayi beka iPalamente kwimilebe yam, ndiyazi ke ukuba andisayi kubuya mva. Ezinye izinto andinakukwazi ukuzenza kwakhona. Kwaye, andenzi njalo.
Kwiveki ephelileyo ndibuyele kwidolophu yasekhaya ndisiya kukatata wam oneminyaka engama-76thumhla wokuzalwa, isiganeko asele esiphumelele ngenxa yokuba, kumashumi amathathu eminyaka eyadlulayo, ndamqinisekisa ukuba ayeke ukutshaya kwiminyaka elishumi ngaphambi kokuba ndiqale. Ndibhadule ndangena kwivenkile endala yeelekese ndabuza kumniniyo ukuba ibiyintoni ivenkile. Yivenkile endala yecuba, watsho, kaJay? Wayitsho njengombuzo, mhlawumbi ungaqinisekanga nokuba ndingayazi indawo enjalo.
Ecaleni kodonga apho irejista yemali yayihleli khona, apho bendihlala ndibhatala i-2.10 yebhokisi eluhlaza namhlophe yeNewports umbala ofanayo nowam u-Aquafresh, ngoku kuhleli iipakethi zeecuba ze-bubble gum. Ndifuna ukufikelela kwenye, ukubeka ilekese kwimilebe yam kwaye ndive ukuba isiphelo seshumi elinanye phakathi kweminwe yam. Ndifuna ukuphinda ndenze imvakwemini ekusungulweni kwesikhephe, ngokuhlwa kwiHartford Club, ubusuku ophahleni lwam ngaphambi kokuba ndazi ukuba kufuneka ndiyeke. Ndifuna ukuphinda ndizibone zonke ezo zigaba, zahlukile njengoko zazinjalo, nokuba yeyomzuzwana nje omnye omnandi, we-bubblegum.
Kodwa andizange. Bekuya kuziva kulungile kakhulu-indlela entle kakhulu ukuba ungayeke-kwaye sele ndenzile.
UJules Barrueco ligqwetha kunye nombhali kwisiXeko saseNew York. Uhlala e-Upper-East Side nomyeni wakhe kunye nenja yabo yokuhlangula uTuck Noodle. Ukubhalwa kwakhe kupapashwe nguCosmopolitan.com.
