Hlahlela ubomi bakho kwaye ususe nantoni na ekubangela ukuba ube nexhala.Unsplash / uCynthia Magana Ngaba kukho umboniso wokuba ubukele kakhulu ukukhula kangangokuba abalinganiswa yayingamalungu osapho?
Kum, lo mboniso wawukhona Umthetho kunye noMyalelo weSVU . Ndiza kubukela isiqendu emva kwesiqendu sobukrelekrele be-SVU, de ndibukele isiqephu ngasinye soluhlu amaxesha amaninzi.
Ekuqwalaseleni kwakhona, SVU mhlawumbi yayingengowona mboniso ubalaseleyo womntwana oneminyaka eyi-12 ukuba abukele, kodwa undinike ukuqonda malunga nendlela yokuphilisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, ndiye ndacinga ukuba kwakungalunganga kakhulu.
U-Olivia Benson, umkhokeli obhinqileyo ophambili kunye nayo yonke indawo ejikeleze i-badass, wayengoyena mntu ndimthandayo. I-Ice-T yayisondele kwisibini kunye namandla ayo othusayo okuxakwa nakwezona nkcukacha zincinci, kodwa u-Olivia wayengoyena ubalaseleyo.
UBenson usoloko emfumana umguvela. Wayelukhuni, ekhathazekile kwaye enoburhalarhume. Isimbo sakhe sasidla ngokuchasene nesiqhelo. Uya kuthi axhomeke ngokweemvakalelo kumaxhoba. Uya kufunda malunga nokuba ngoobani kwaye bahlala phantsi kwaziphi iimeko. Wayeyazi yonke into ngobomi babo ukuze aqhekeze ityala.
Icebo lakhe lalingeyonjongo; yayintywilisela. Nangona oku ngamanye amaxesha kwakudala iingxaki ku-Olivia, wayehlala emfumana umntu ombi.
Usenokubuza ukuba oku kuhambelana njani nokunyanga uxinzelelo lwakho. Ukuze usombulule imeko (okt uphilise uxinzelelo lwakho), kufuneka ube njengo-Olivia. Kuya kufuneka uhlalutye iinkcukacha zobomi bakho ukuze ufumanise oyena nobangela woxinzelelo lwakho.
Uninzi lwabantu alunakho ukuphilisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kuba bakholelwa ukuba luphume kulawulo lwabo. Mhlawumbi uyakholelwa ukuba sisigwebo sobomi kwaye akukho nto unokuyenza ukusinqanda. Ucinga ngesondo malunga nokuba kutheni ukhethwe ukuba uthwale lo mthwalo, endaweni yokuhlalutya izinto kwindawo yakho ezinokubangela ukungalingani.
Ngokulandela ukukhokelwa ngu-Olivia, ungafunda ukuyeka ukujonga uxinzelelo lwakho njengento eziswe kuwe ngoothixo kwaye uqalise ukujonga nzulu ebomini bakho ukuze ufumanise ukuba zeziphi igalelo ezibangela iziphumo ezingalunganga, emva koko uthathe inyathelo lokususa.
Yile nto ndiyibiza ngokuba yindlela ka-Olivia Benson. Ifuna ukuba ujonge nzulu kuyo yonke into oyifakayo ebomini bakho-ukutya, umculo, umabonwakude, isiselo, iincwadi, njl-ukuqaqambisa ukuba kungangunobangela weemvakalelo zakho ezimbi.
Unobangela woxinzelelo unokufunyanwa ngokujonga indlela obuphila ngayo ubomi bakho kwaye ususe nantoni na ebangela ukuba ibe kukungalungelelani.
Isicwangciso-qhinga sika-Olivia Benson sandinceda ukuba ndibone eyona nto indixinzelelekileyo, eyakhokelela ekubeni ndikwazi ukuphilisa unxunguphalo ngaphandle kwamayeza. Ndibonile abantu abaninzi besebenzisa obu buchule kwaye baneziphumo ezifanayo nezam, kodwa akukho ndlela kuphela kwendlela yokuphilisa.
Vavanya ubone ukuba iyakusebenzela na. Lawula impilo yakho yengqondo. Unazo zonke izixhobo ozifunayo ukuze uzive ungcono kwaye uphile ubomi obugcweleyo.
Inkqubo
Njengomphandi wobomi bakho bangaphakathi, kuya kufuneka uzimisele ukuhlalutya ngokungenanceba yonke into oyityayo ukuze ufumane isaphuli-mthetho. Oko ubeka emzimbeni wakho, kukhokelela kwimveliso ethile.
Inkqubo yeOlivia Benson iyakukunceda ujonge ngokungagungqiyo kwigalelo lakho ukuqaqambisa iinkalo zobomi bakho ezingalunganga kwaye ke kufuneka zisuswe. Xa ufumana igalelo okanye uxinzelelo olungasasebenziyo injongo yakho yokuphila ngokupheleleyo, yisuse kangangeentsuku ezisixhenxe. Emva kweveki ngaphandle kwayo, kancinci kancinci uyibuyisele ebomini bakho.
Khupha iphepha. Zoba imigca emine kwaye ngaphezulu kwikholamu nganye bhala isihloko sendidi (ezidweliswe ngezantsi). Ngoku, dwelisa yonke into ewela kolo luhlu oyisebenzisayo ngoku ngokungaguquguqukiyo.
Fumana igranular apha. Dwelisa nantoni na nayo yonke into oyityayo. Ungakhathazeki malunga nokuba ucinga ukuba kungadala uxinzelelo. Uluhlu luluhlu nje.
Ngoku ukuba unoluhlu lwakho lwezinto ezifakwayo, qalisa ukuhlalutya ukuba ngaba igalelo elo linokubangela uxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo. Musa ukujonga ngaphezulu. Hamba ngamathumbu akho.
Jonga ukuba ungazama ukususa la magalelo ebomini bakho kangangeentsuku ezisixhenxe ezipheleleyo. Ngamanye amaxesha izinto esizityayo azinakucinywa (intengiso kuhambo lwethu lokuhamba, i-imeyile yomsebenzi, njl. Njl.) Kwaye kulungile, kodwa yazi ukuba ezo galelo zichaphazela njani imo yakho.
Nje ukuba ukhethe ezimbalwa oza kuzisusa, zibhale phantsi kwiphepha uze uzixhome kwindawo oza kuyibona rhoqo kusasa.
Uhlobo lohlobo: Dwelisa abahlobo abathathu ukuya kwabahlanu ukuba bakukhaphe kolu hambo. Baxelele into oyincamayo kwaye ubenze bakuphendule.
Emva kweveki iphelile, hlalutya ukuba ngaba ukushenxisa ezi zinto zenziweyo kwenziwe naluphi na utshintsho kumanqanaba oxinzelelo lwakho. Ukuba kunjalo, zisuse ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba akunjalo, phinda ubazise kwaye uqaphele ukuba baqala ukuchaphazela uxinzelelo lwakho. Ukuba bayakwenza, cinga ixesha elide kwaye kunzima malunga nokuba uyafuna ukubagcina ebomini bakho.
Qhubeka nokwenza lo mkhuba veki nganye. Zama ukuyeka izinto ongacingi ukuba zinganefuthe. Zama indibaniselwano eyahlukeneyo.
Yiba ngqwabalala. Akukho galelo lingcwele apha. Ukuba ufuna ukuphila ubomi obungaphaya kokuxhalaba, kuya kufuneka unikezele ngento.
Makhe ndikubuze oku: Buyintoni kuwe ubomi bokuzola?
Ndiyathemba ukuba kufanelekile ngayo yonke into. Ukuba kunjalo, musa ukoyika into oyincamayo. Endaweni yoko, cinga ngobomi bakho ngaphandle kwexhala kunye novuyo kunye nobuhle obuzokuzisa.
Iindidi
Olu luhlu lulandelayo lweendidi alunabubanzi, kodwa luya kukunika isiseko esihle sokuqala uhlalutyo lwakho. Yongeza okanye uthabathe iindidi zakho xa kufanelekile.
Utya ntoni?
Ndidla i-gluten, idayari kunye noshukela rhoqo. Andizange ndicinge ukuba bachaphazela amanqanaba am oxinzelelo. Nangona kunjalo, nje ukuba ndivavanye ukubakhupha ekudleni kwam kangangeentsuku ezisixhenxe emva koko ndibabuyise kancinci kancinci, ndiye ndayiqonda into endiyityayo ibangela ukuba umzimba wam udumbe kwaye ube nexhala.
Ukusukela ngoko, ndiyisusile phantse yonke iswekile, ubisi kunye negluten kwindlela enditya ngayo.
Uhlala usitya ntoni? Ndagqibela nini ukuyisusa ekutyeni kwakho kangangeentsuku ezisixhenxe?
Usela ntoni?
Utywala kunye nekofu zezona zinto zimbini zingunobangela woxinzelelo olungapheliyo.
Ngokwam, kuye kwafuneka ndizisuse zombini inyanga ukuze ndibuyele kwinqanaba lokucaca kwengqondo. Emva kweentsuku ezingama-30 ezipheleleyo kude nabo, ndaphinda ndazisa ngononophelo, ndiqonda ukuba babangela uxinzelelo.
Oku kukuqonda okubalulekileyo oza kuza kuhambo lwakho ukuya kwimpilo yengqondo epheleleyo. Uninzi lweempawu zakho zinokubakho kwinto oyizisayo kwimeko-bume yakho, hayi into engalunganga ngaphakathi kuwe.
Ukuba unomkhuhlane, awuyi kuwubeka kwi-innate, ingxaki yelifa elidinga unyango oluphambili kunye neminyaka yobumnyama. Hayi, ungabona okucacileyo, thatha iyeza elithile, uphumle kwaye usele ulwelo oluninzi. Ekugqibeleni, impilo yakho iya kubuya, kwaye uya kuba nakho ukuqhubeka.
Kutheni uphatha impilo yengqondo ngokwahlukileyo? Ngokukhawuleza nje xa siqala ukunyanga unxunguphalo kunye nezinye izifo zempilo yengqondo njengezigulo, siza kubona ukwehla okuzinzileyo kwimeko ezingapheliyo.
Unamandla okuphilisa. Thatha ulawulo. Zigxininise kwiinkcukacha zobomi bakho, ulususe ukhula olugcina umhlaba ungenampilo.
Umamela ntoni?
Ndimamela ntoni? Ifuthe lini elinokubakho kuxinzelelo noxinzelelo lwam?
Ndacinga kwa into enye xa umcebisi endixelela ukuba into endiyingenisayo ngeendlebe kunye namehlo ibaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yam yengqondo njengaleyo ndiyingenisayo ngomlomo wam. Andizange ndicinge malunga nokuba ii-audiobooks, ii-podcast, kunye nomculo endandizisebenzisa zazingqinelana neyona njongo yam.
Xa ndandiqala ukumba ukhula ebomini bam, ndaqonda ukuba yonke imihla ukuya nokubuya emsebenzini ndimamele iintlobo ezifanayo zeencwadi zeshishini. Iincwadi ngokwazo bezingenanto iyingozi okanye imbi, kodwa yindlela ebendiphendula ngayo ebangela uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo oluninzi. Ndandihlala ndiziva ngathi andenzi ngokwaneleyo, ukuba ndifuna ukuba nemveliso ngakumbi, kwaye kufuneka ndiphumelele.
Kwaqala ukukhupha amandla am kwaye kwakhokelela ekwandeni kwamathandabuzo kunye nexhala ngekamva lam.
Isidingo sam sokuphumelela saba negalelo elikhulu kuxinzelelo lwam. Emva kokubhala phantsi onke amagalelo endandimamele, ndaye ndabona ukuba iincwadi zokuzinceda kunye nokusoloko ndifuna ulwazi oluthe kratya kwakukubi ekukhuleni kwam.
Khange ndiluyeke ngokupheleleyo olu hlobo lolwazi, kodwa ndiye ndanciphisa kakhulu ukusetyenziswa kwam. Ndiye ndazi ukuba into endiyimamelayo inokuba nefuthe elisisiseko kwimo yam yengqondo imini yonke, ngenxa yoko ndicwangcise kakhulu ngento endiyingenisileyo.
Ngaba le nto umamela kuyo yonke imihla ikwenza ngcono okanye ube mbi ngakumbi?
Ingaba ujonge kwintoni?
Iiwotshi eziqhelekileyo zaseMelika iiyure ezintlanu zikamabonakude ngosuku . Ngoku, andizami ukukuxelela indlela yokuphila ubomi bakho, kodwa umabonwakude awenzelwanga ukuba wonwabe. Lushishino olwenziweyo ukuze lubambe kwaye luqwalasele.
Kuphi ebomini bakho apho unolindelo olubonakala ngathi aluzukufikelelwa? Kum, yayiyimpumelelo yam yobungcali. Ndifuna ukufana noHarvey Spector owayesisityebi, enamandla kwaye esisityebi. Ukujonga okwenyani: ayisebenzi njalo impilo.
Ukuhamba rhoqo komabonwakude endandikudla kwakuqhubela phambili le njongo yobomi obugqibeleleyo kunye nokundisusa ekwenzeni izinto ezibalulekileyo ngexesha lam.
Nangona kukho umabonwakude omkhulu phaya, qiniseka ukuba uzama ukufumana naluphi na unxibelelwano phakathi kwemiboniso oyibukeleyo kunye nolindelo lwakho kubomi bokwenyani. Qiniseka ukuba le nto uyibukeleyo ayenzi ukuba ubunyani bakho bube mandundu.
Umzekelo, bendinomthengi onengxaki enkulu yokuhlala kubudlelwane. Emva kweenyanga ezintlanu kulwalamano ngalunye, uya kukruquka, akhankanye isiphene angakwaziyo ukuhlala naso aze ahlukane naye.
Ukuqala kwethu ukwenza ubuchule buka-Olivia Benson ukufumanisa uxinzelelo olufihliweyo, waveza ukuba wayebukele umabonwakude iiyure ezine ukuya kwezintlanu ngobusuku. Yonke imiboniso wayeyibukele eboniswa njengabafazi abagqibeleleyo, abangenasiphako.
Njengoko saye samba nzulu, saqonda ukuba wayenolindelo olungenakufikeleleka kwabasetyhini. Wayekuqonda ngokugweba inyani ngokusekwe kwinto awayeyibukele kumabonwakude kwaye wayengazange ayiqonde le nto ngaphambili.
Ukuqonda oku kwamnceda ukuba azi ezinye iindawo ebomini bakhe ukuba wayezama ukudibanisa noko akubonayo kwiscreen.
Yiba ngqwabalala. Ukuba ayikwenzi ube nesiseko ngakumbi kwaye wonwabe, yinqumle. Akufanelekanga. Chitha iiyure ezongezelelweyo usebenza ngenjongo yakho okanye nabantu obathandayo. Ezi zizinto eziza kukwenza ube nobomi obupheleleyo.
Ufunda ntoni?
Ngokufana nokuphulaphula, uhambo lwam lokuphuma koxinzelelo lwalufuna ukuba ndiyitshintshe ngokupheleleyo into endandiyifunda. Ngaphambi kokuba ndihlalutye izinto endizibangela, bendifunda nje iincwadi zeshishini kunye neebhloko kunye nokuchitha lonke ixesha lam lamahhala kwimidiya yoluntu.
Bendihlala ndisebenzisa ulwazi olwalundikhuthaza ukuba ndenze ngaphezulu okanye ukuba ndingangaphezulu ukuba ndisebenza nje nzima okanye ndizamile le nto intsha.
Kwakudinisa kwaye kundishiya ndonwabile kwaye ndinexhala.
Emva kokusebenzisa ubuchule buka-Olivia Benson, ndiyekile ukufunda iincwadi zeshishini kwaye ndacima iiakhawunti zam zentlalo. Nangona uloyiko lokuphoswa lwalulukhulu, ndandisazi ukuba kufuneka ndigqithe kwingqondo yokunqongophala kwaye ndiqonde ukuba iimpendulo zemibuzo yam enzulu zazingekho phaya.
Ndaqala ukukhetha iincwadi malunga nengqondo kunye nokomoya. Ndizifundile iincwadi ngembali. Ndithathe iincwadi ezindala bekungekho mntu uthetha ngazo. Ndizinyanzele ukuba ndive uloyiko lokuba wonke umntu ufunda izinto ezilungileyo kwaye bendingenguye.
Kwakunzima, kwaye ndisasokola noku xa ndihamba ngeBarnes & Noble kwaye ndibona icandelo elitsha nelaziwayo, ndiziva ndinetyala ngokungazifundi zonke iincwadi etafileni. Kodwa ngala maxesha ndingena kuwo umzuzu wangoku kwaye ndazinza kulwazi olunzulu lokuba yonke imibuzo enkulu ebomini ayinampendulo icacileyo Bamele baphile, njengoko watsho uRilke.
Phila imibuzo yakho. Yeka ukuzama ukuzifumana encwadini. Ukuphilisa kwakho akuyi kuvela kufunda incwadi yamva nje kwimveliso.
Yibeke ngokuSebenza
Ndagqibela nini ukuthatha uluhlu olupheleleyo lwento yonke oyisebenzisayo yonke imihla?
Andizange ndenze umthambo onje. Ndacinga ukuba impendulo yokuphilisa ixhala lam yayingaphandle kwamandla am. Kulula ukuwela kulo mgibe, kodwa ngokusebenzisa indlela ka-Olivia Benson, ubhale yonke into oyityayo, kwaye ukhuphe ngokungenalusini onke amagalelo angadali uxolo nobuninzi ebomini bakho, uya kuqonda ukuba unamandla ukuziphilisa.
