into 'Ngamafutshane' Oko kwaqala: 'Owayethanda inkwenkwezi yentenetya uMaria Sharapova, umphathi wangaphambili weMaroon 5 uAdam Levine, utyhile izolo ngesizathu sokuba ahlukane nothando lwabo olufutshane,' kwaye uqhubeke nokuchaza ukuba inkwenkwezi ebuyayo yaseU.S.
Into ekhubekisayo, athe uMnu Ames wayixelela iTransom ukuba esi siqwenga sibhalwe kwimizuzu emihlanu kwigumbi lehotele eCarlifonia, kwaye senzelwe njengesixhobo sokulahla ukuzalisa indawo.
Abantu baseMelika zezona zinto zibambekayo ngokukhohlakeleyo kwiPlanethi yoMhlaba, utshilo.
Kuyabonakala ukuba ayisiwo nje amaMelika.
Nantsi into igqwetha lika Mnu.Levine, uJeffrey Worob weSerling Rooks kunye neFerrara, nge-imeyile kuMnumzana Ames:
Ukusukela ngexesha lokuposa kwakho, ezinye iindaba ezininzi kwihlabathi liphela ziye zalithatha 'ibali lakho' kwaye baxela ukuba liyinyani kupapasho lwabo. Kananjalo, uMnu.Levine kuye kwanyanzeleka ukuba ajongane nezitetimenti kwaye akhusele isimilo sakhe.
Ileta yezomthetho – kunye noyilo lwempendulo uMnu Ames uceba ukupapasha kwiphephandaba lakhe- landela.
Ileta evela eMaroon 5 igqwetha uJeffrey Worob iya kuMark Ames:
Madoda,
Ndiligqwetha lika-Adam Levine kunye namalungu eMaroon 5.
Kufikile kuthi ukuba iphephandaba kunye newebhusayithi yakho kutsha nje (Inqaku # 269, Agasti 10, 2007) uthumele ibali ngokubhekisele kumxhasi wam kunye nobudlelwane bakhe kunye nenkwenkwezi yentenetya, uMaria Sharapova. Kwelo bali, ubanga ukuba uMnumzana uLevine wenze ingxelo ezithile malunga noNksk. Sharapova ( http://www.exile.ru/2007-August-10/in_brief.html ). Egameni likaMnu.Levine, siyaphika ukuba ezi ngxelo zakha zakho
yenziwe nguye. Ukuba unalo naluphi na ulwazi ngokuchasene noko, ndingavuya ukuba undibonelela ngemithombo yakho. Ukusukela ngexesha le
Ukuthumela kwakho, ezinye iindaba zeendaba kwihlabathi liphela ziye zalithatha 'ibali lakho' kwaye baxela ukuba liyinyani kupapasho lwabo. Njengoko
enjalo, Mnu.Levine kuye kwanyanzeleka ukuba ajongane nezitetimenti kwaye akhusele isimilo sakhe.
Ngeli xesha, umxhasi wam undicelile ukuba ndiphande ngeendlela ezikhoyo anokuba nazo ngokuchasene nokupapashwa kwakho. Ndizolulela kuwe ngoku ukuba unyanzelise ukuba ulirhoxise kwangoko inqaku kwaye uvume ukuba ingxelo yenziwe ngaphandle kwesiseko.
Ngaphandle kokuba ndifumane, zingaphelanga iintsuku ezintathu (3) zokufumana kwakho le imeyile, isiqinisekiso sakho esibhaliweyo senjongo yakho yokuthatha amanyathelo achazwe kwisivakalisi esandulelayo, umnumzana uLevine uyakuthathela ingqalelo ukugcina ingcebiso yasekhaya ukukhusela igama lakhe, umfanekiso kunye nokuziphatha. ngazo zonke iindlela zomthetho ezikhoyo nezinobulungisa.
Nceda uqaphele ukuba le leta ayenzelwanga ukuba ibe yingxelo epheleleyo yezinyani okanye umthetho onxulumene nalo mba kwaye ubhalwe ngaphandle kokuthintela amalungelo asemthethweni okanye alinganayo kunye / okanye izilungiso zomthengi wethu, onke amalungelo namachiza ngokucacileyo igcinwe. Umxhasi wethu kwaye sijonge phambili kwimpendulo yakho ekhawulezileyo.
Ozithobileyo,
UJeffrey Worob, uEsq.
Ukuhambisa iiRoks kunye neFerrara, LLP
Impendulo kaMark Ames:
Mnumzana uWorob, Esq.,
Awusibethi ngale leta, akunjalo? Ngaba watsho ukuba umele uAdam Levine, okanye ilizwe laseKazakhstan vs. Sacha Baron Cohen? Nceda ungasixeleli ukuba ukwehla kweMelika kusifikisile kwinqanaba lokuxelisa oozwilakhe base-Asia boMbindi… Owu nceda, yithi ayiyonyani leyo! Yithi yinto eyahlukileyo, njenge-meta-satire yohlobo oluthile ositsala kuthi. Kungenxa yokuba ukuba ungubani ngenene ukuba ungubani, ungumntu oligqwetha, kwaye uAdam Levine ufuna ukuba sikhuphe ukurhoxiswa okusemthethweni, singabaleka njani sikholelwa kuThixo? Kufana nokufa kukaJerry Falwell wokuqala, esingazange sicinge ukuba sinokwenzeka, kwaye ngoku isoyikiso sakho sokumangalela siyabuyela ebantwini-vs-Larry-Flynt, iphantse yaziva njengomoya
UFalwell akazange asishiye. Hayi, khawume kancinci, inokuba yinto entle leyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, uFlynt ligorha lethu: mfo yindoda enkulu enamafutha kwisitulo esinamavili, ukanti ufumana isifuthufuthu ngemini kunokuba sinuka ebomini.
Kulungile, masicinge ukuba iyinyani le leta. Kulungile. 'Kwileta' yakho ubhekisa kwisiqwengana 'njengebali' kunye 'neempawu zokucaphula' kwigama elithi 'ibali.' Ewe, 'Jeff,' ukuba ligama lakho ngenene elo, sineendaba ezinokukothusa: kukho isizathu sokuba ubeke amanqaku okucaphula malunga 'nebali': AKUSIYO 'IBALI,' LUYANELISA ISATIRE! Kukukrexeza ngaphandle kwamanqaku locaphulo. Doyee!
Kodwa mhlawumbi siphulukana nento apha. Mhlawumbi ileta yakho iyisalvo yengqondo ehlekisayo. Ukuba kunjalo, ke sana, unekamva lokuhlekisa. Hayi ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ngale leta yokuhambisa umnwe, ukwazile ukuguqula uAdam Levine ukusuka kwi-pop heartthrob abe yindibaniselwano kaDean Wormer kunye no-Elmer Fudd, ngendlela kaNkosikazi Crabtree. Yintoni ebangela utshintsho lomsebenzi? Ngaba ukuthengisa irekhodi likaMoron 5 kusweleka nzima kangangokuba iarhente ka-Adam imshukumisela kwikamva lokudlala i-comic villain foil? Ngaba imbi kakhulu le yokuba azame ukuhlangula ikhondo lakhe lomsebenzi ngokwenza i-piggyback kwi-TheXX's's fame?
Damn, ukuba yile nto imalunga noku, emva koko siziva ngathi sifana nezibi.
Kulungile, nantsi, masenze esi sivumelwano: siza kufumana indlela yokurhoxisa isuntswana leSatire ngaphandle kokuphamba, ukuba uthembisa ukuba
UAdam Levine usithumelele i-videotape yakhe ecula ingoma entsha kaMoron 5 enamazwi: 'Owu waskawy exiwe waskaws! Ndikufumene, ukuba yi
Ndenza into emdaka! Oo! [chorus] Ukwi-secwet pwetbation ephindwe kabini / ewe usana olukulo!
Ngokwenyani, inyani mayixelelwe ukuba ngekhe sikwazi ukubamba isiphelo se-bargain, cuz, um, kulungile, ngaba umntu othile unokusicacisa ukuba egameni lika-fuck uyirhoxisa njani into ehlekisayo? Sibonisene nengqondo yethu, kunye nobomi bethu, kanye njengoko ileta yakho eyoyikisayo yenza eyethu
amadolo ayagexa kwaye atyhafile, kwaye nathi singathanda ukungqina kolona rhoxiso lurhoxisayo kwimbali
Ukunyathelwa ngamajelo eendaba, ukurhoxisa okunokwenza uMendelstam abuyise umtsalane kwi-'Stalin Epigram 'ijongeke ngomthi ngokuthelekisa…
ngathi, ngubani ongathandiyo ukubona into eyaphula umthetho? Sasifakaza imbali! (By the way, bekufanele ukuba uzibonile iinxalenye ze
Ngamafutshane sishiye ngaphandle-njengomgca malunga nokuba uAdam Levine 'unjani uburharha, kwaye ayisiyiyo kwaphela i-esomaniacal esile, hayi, hayi
sonke… 'Eli candelo lalihlekisa NGOKWENENE, kodwa sasisoyika ngenene ukuba liza kwenzeka, kwaye oko kungakhokelela kwigqwetha elithile
Imele iLollapolooza kunye ne-indy-rock band ukumangalela elinye iphepha-ndaba, ke sicinge ukuba kungcono siyishiye le ntlekisa ngelinye ixesha).
Linda, besiphi? Ithini le mpendulo inde malunga nayo? Ewe, ngoku siyakhumbula. I-boyband stud u-Adam Levine usongela ukusonakalisa. Uxolo, siphulukene noololiwe-boyika-ukucinga okomzuzwana. Siyoyika, sikholelwe kuwe. Hayi, sinjalo. Kukho ishishini elibalulekileyo ekufuneka lihoyiwe, kwaye lelo lishishini 'lokurhoxisa' isiqwenga satire kwezi ntsuku zintathu zilandelayo, kungenjalo amagqwetha ka-Adam Levine azakukhupha isixhobo senyukliya esiya kwenza ukuba iiofisi ze-eXile zingabi nakuhlala abantu kumashumi eminyaka ezayo ( nangona ukunyaniseka, i-nuking encinci isenokungabi yinto embi, inokuhambisa onke amavumba amabi kunye neentsholongwane kwiofisi yethu). Umsebenzi ungxamisekile. Bafundi, sidinga uncedo. Ewe wena. Lixesha lokuba uphakame uthobele isimemo somsebenzi.
Yiyo le into esiya kuyo: SIYAQHUBA UKUBA UMNYANGO UVULELE KWABAFUNDI BETHU UKUZE BENZE OKUNGENAKWENZEKA: UKUTHUMELA IINGCEBISO ZAKHO NGOKUBA URETYENZISWA KANJANI KWISIFUNDO ESIFUTSHANE. Nabani na osithumela olona rhoxiso luphambili uzakufumana ikhredithi eyi- $ 300 'kwiklabhu yamanenekazi' 'iViolete,' kwaye iimbaleki ezintathu ziya kuphumelela [sic] izikipa kunye nempama enkulu ngasemva. Ewe kulungile, sisindise kwingqumbo ka-Adam Levine yamakhwenkwe, kwaye siza kukubeka! Siza kuphinda siphose enye i-50 yeedola ukuqinisekisa ukuba ihenyukazi lakho liyakhala iyure yonke ehlawulelweyo.
Khawulezani nonke. Ikamva lehlabathi lijinga kwimali eseleyo.
