Ipswich, iWaterfront, i-Ipswich Campus, uMbuzo oMkhulu woPhawu loMfanekiso (Flickr) Wonke umntu ufuna into entle. Wonke umntu ufuna ukuphila ubomi obungenankathalo, obonwabileyo nobulula, ukuba athande kwaye abe nesini esimangalisayo kunye nobudlelwane, abonakale egqibelele kwaye enze imali kwaye adume kwaye ahlonitshwe kwaye anconywe kwaye abe ngumdlali webhola opheleleyo ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba abantu bahlukane ULwandle oluBomvu xa ungena egumbini.
Wonke umntu angathanda oko - kulula ukuyithanda loo nto.
Ukuba ndiyakubuza, Ufuna ntoni ebomini? kwaye uthetha into enje, ndifuna ukonwaba kwaye ndibenosapho olukhulu kunye nomsebenzi endiwuthandayo, uyaziwa kakhulu kangangokuba awuthethi kwanto.
Umbuzo onomdla ngakumbi, umbuzo mhlawumbi ongazange uwucinge ngaphambili, zeziphi iintlungu ozifunayo ebomini bakho? Yintoni ozimisele ukuyilwela? Kungenxa yokuba oko kubonakala kukuzimisela okukhulu kobomi bethu.
Wonke umntu ufuna ukuba nomsebenzi omangalisayo kunye nokuzimela kwezemali- kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu ofuna ukubandezeleka ngeeyure zomsebenzi ezingama-60, ukuhamba ixesha elide, amaphepha abonisa ukunganyamezeli, ukuhamba hiraries ngokungahambelaniyo kunye ne-blasé ye-cubicle engapheliyo. Abantu bafuna ukuba zizityebi ngaphandle komngcipheko, ngaphandle kokuzincama, ngaphandle kolibaziseko lokuzanelisa okuyimfuneko ukuqokelela ubutyebi.
Wonke umntu ufuna ukuba neentlobano zesini kunye nobudlelwane obuhle- kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu ozimiseleyo ukuya kwiincoko ezinzima, ukuthula okungonwabisiyo, iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu kunye ne-psychodrama yeemvakalelo zokufika apho. Kwaye ke bahlala. Bahlala kwaye bazibuza ukuba kuthekani ukuba? iminyaka kunye neminyaka kude kube ngumbuzo morfs ukusuka ku What if? kungena Kwakunjalo? Kwaye xa amagqwetha egoduka kwaye isheke yesondlo ikwi-imeyile bathi, Yayenzelwe ntoni loo nto? ukuba ayisiyiyo eyemigangatho ethobekileyo nolindelo kwiminyaka engama-20 eyadlulayo, uthini ngayo?
Kuba ulonwabo lufuna umzabalazo. Iziphumo ezilungileyo ziziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zokuphatha izinto ezingalunganga. Unokuphepha kuphela amava amabi ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba babuyele ebomini.
Isiseko sokuziphatha kwabantu, iimfuno zethu ziyafana okanye ziyafana. Amava afanelekileyo kulula ukuwaphatha. Ngamava amabi sonke, ngenkcazo, asilwayo nawo. Ke ngoko, oko sikufumanayo ebomini akumiselwanga ziimvakalelo ezilungileyo esizinqwenelayo kodwa kukuba zeziphi iimvakalelo ezimbi esizimiseleyo kwaye sikwazi ukuzigcina ukuze sifikelele kwezo mvakalelo zilungileyo.
Abantu bafuna umzimba omangalisayo. Kodwa awupheli omnye ngaphandle kokuba uyayiqonda ngokufanelekileyo intlungu kunye noxinzelelo lomzimba oluza kuhlala ngaphakathi kwindawo yokuzivocavoca ngeyure ngeyure, ngaphandle kokuba uyakuthanda ukubala kunye nokulinganisa ukutya okutyayo, uceba ubomi bakho ngaphandle kweplate encinci izahlulo.
Abantu bafuna ukuqala ishishini labo okanye bazimele ngokwezimali. Kodwa awupheli usomashishini ophumeleleyo ngaphandle kokuba ufumene indlela yokuxabisa umngcipheko, ukungaqiniseki, ukusilela okuphindaphindiweyo, kunye nokusebenza iiyure eziphambeneyo kwinto ongayazi nokuba iya kuba yimpumelelo okanye hayi.
Abantu bafuna iqabane, iqabane. Kodwa awuphelelanga ekutsaleni umntu omangalisayo ngaphandle kokuxabisa ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo okuza nokwaliwa kwemozulu, ukwakha uxinzelelo lwesondo olungaze lukhululwe, kwaye ujonge ungacacanga kwifowuni engakhaliyo. Inxalenye yomdlalo wothando. Awunakuphumelela ukuba awudlali.
Yintoni emisela impumelelo yakho ayisiyiyo Yintoni ofuna ukuyonwabela? Umbuzo ngulo, Zeziphi iintlungu ofuna ukuzigcina? Umgangatho wobomi bakho awumiselwanga ngumgangatho wamava akho alungileyo kodwa umgangatho wamava akho amabi. Kwaye ukwenza okuhle ekujonganeni namava amabi kukulunga ekujonganeni nobomi.
Kukho iingcebiso ezininzi eziphosakeleyo phaya ezithi, Uyakufuna ngokwaneleyo!
Wonke umntu ufuna into. Kwaye wonke umntu ufuna into eyaneleyo. Abazi nje ukuba yintoni le bayifunayo, okanye kanye, bafuna ntoni ngokwaneleyo.
Kuba ukuba ufuna izibonelelo zento ebomini, kuya kufuneka ufune neendleko. Ukuba ufuna umzimba waselunxwemeni, kuya kufuneka ufune ukubila, ukukhathazeka, iintsasa zokuqala, kunye nenimba yendlala. Ukuba ufuna i-yacht, kuya kufuneka ufune ubusuku emva kwexesha, ishishini elinobungozi elihambayo, kunye nokubanakho ukucaphukisa umntu okanye amawaka alishumi.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ufuna into inyanga nenyanga, unyaka nonyaka, kodwa akukho nto yenzekayo kwaye awusoze wasondela kuyo, mhlawumbi eyona nto uyifunayo yingcinga emnandi, umbono, umfanekiso kunye nesithembiso sobuxoki. Mhlawumbi into oyifunayo ayisiyiyo le uyifunayo, uyakonwabela ukufuna. Mhlawumbi awuyifuni kwaphela.
Ngamanye amaxesha ndibuza abantu, Ukhetha njani ukubandezeleka? Aba bantu bathambekise iintloko zabo kwaye bajonge kum ngathi ndinempumlo ezilishumi elinambini. Kodwa ndibuza kuba loo nto indixelela kakhulu ngawe malunga neminqweno yakho kunye nemibono yakho. Kuba kufuneka ukhethe into. Awunakho ubomi obungenazintlungu. Akunakuba zonke iiroses kunye nee-unicorn. Kwaye ekugqibeleni ngumbuzo onzima lowo ubalulekileyo. Ubumnandi ngumbuzo olula. Kwaye kakhulu sonke sinempendulo efanayo. Umbuzo onomdla ngakumbi yintlungu. Yintoni intlungu ofuna ukuyigcina?
Impendulo iya kukufumana ndaweni ithile. Ngumbuzo onokutshintsha ubomi bakho. Yinto endenza mna nawe. Yiyo into esichazayo nesahlulayo kwaye ekugqibeleni isidibanisa.
Kumaxesha am amaninzi okwishumi elivisayo kunye nokuba mdala, ndaye ndacinga ngokuba yimvumi-inkwenkwezi ye-rock, ngakumbi. Nawuphi na umrhubhe wengoma ye-badass endiyivileyo, bendihlala ndivale amehlo kwaye ndizibona ndiseqongeni ndidlala kwisikhalo sesihlwele, abantu baphulukana nengqondo yam ngoku kumnandi-umnwe. Le fantasy inokundigcina ndihlala iiyure ukuphela. Ukucingela into eqhubekayo kwikholeji, nasemva kokuba ndiyekile kwisikolo somculo ndayeka nokudlala nzulu. Kodwa nangoko wawungazange ube ngumbuzo wokuba ndingaze ndiphakame ndidlala phambi kwezihlwele ezikhwazayo, kodwa nini. Ndandihlawula ixesha lam ngaphambi kokuba ndikwazi ukutyala ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye nomzamo wokuphuma ndize ndisebenze. Okokuqala, bendidinga ukugqiba isikolo. Emva koko, kwakufuneka ndenze imali. Emva koko, bendidinga ukufumana ixesha. Ke… kwaye ke akukho nto.
Ngaphandle kokucinga ngale ngaphezulu kwesiqingatha sobomi bam, inyani ayizange ize. Kwaye kwandithatha ixesha elide kunye namava amaninzi ukuba ekugqibeleni ndifumanise ukuba kutheni: andiyifuni ngokwenene.
Ndandi thandana nesiphumo - umfanekiso wam eqongeni, abantu bevuya, ndinyikima, ndiphalaza intliziyo yam kule nto ndiyidlalayo - kodwa ndandingathandani nenkqubo. Kwaye ngenxa yalonto, ndoyisakele kuyo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Isihogo, andizange ndizame ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndiphumelele kuyo. Andizange ndizame kwaphela.
Umsebenzi onzima wemihla ngemihla wokuziqhelanisa, ulungiselelo lokufumana iqela kunye nokuzilolonga, iintlungu zokufumana iigigs kunye nokwenza ukuba abantu babonise kwaye banike ikit. Imitya eqhekekileyo, ityhubhu evuthelweyo, ukukhupha iipawundi ezingama-40 zokuya nokubuya ekuziqhelaniseni kungekho moto. Yintaba yephupha kunye nokunyuka okuziikhilomitha ukuya phezulu. Kwaye oko kwandithatha ixesha elide ukufumanisa ukuba andikuthandi ukunyuka kakhulu. Ndithanda nje ukucinga ngentla.
Inkcubeko yethu iyakundixelela ukuba ngandlel 'ithile ndisilele ngokwam, ukuba ndiyayeka okanye ndilahlekile. Ukuzinceda kuya kuthi nokuba andinasibindi ngokwaneleyo, ndizimisele ngokwaneleyo okanye andizikholelwa ngokwaneleyo. Ukushishina / ukuqala kwesihlwele bekuza kundixelela ukuba ndiliphumelele iphupha lam ndaza ndanikezela kwimeko yam yesiqhelo. Ndiya kuyalelwa ukuba ndenze ukuvuma okanye ukujoyina iqela le-mastermind okanye ukubonisa okanye into ethile.
Kodwa inyani inomdla omncinci kunale: bendicinga ukuba ndifuna into, kodwa kuyacaca ukuba andiyifuni. Ukuphela kwebali.
Ndifuna umvuzo hayi umzabalazo. Ndifuna iziphumo hayi inkqubo. Ndandingathandani nomlo kodwa uloyiso kuphela. Kwaye ubomi abusebenzi njalo.
Ungubani wena uchazwa ngamaxabiso okulungeleyo ukuwalwela. Abantu abonwabela ubunzima bokuzilolonga ngabo bafumana imeko entle. Abantu abonwabela iiveki ezinde zomsebenzi kunye nezopolitiko ezikwinqanaba lokudibana ngabo bayinyusayo. Abantu abonwabela uxinzelelo kunye nokungaqiniseki kwendlela yokuphila yomculi olambileyo ekugqibeleni ngabo bahlala kuyo kwaye bayenze.
Olu ayilulo umnxeba wokuzimisela okanye ubukrakra. Esi ayisosinye isilumkiso sentlungu, akukho nzuzo.
Eli lelona candelo lobomi lilula nelisisiseko: imizabalazo yethu ibeka impumelelo yethu. Ngoko khetha ubunzima bakho ngobulumko, mhlobo wam.
UMark Manson ngumbhali, ibhlog kunye nosomashishini obhalayo markmanson.net .
