Ke ngequbuliso yonke into yatshintsha. UDustin wagqiba kwelokuba abe ngugqirha wokubulala iintlungu. Utata wakhe wayengomnye, ke yayisengqiqweni. Esi sigqibo senzekile ngoko nangoko ngobusuku kwaye kunye nokuza nembono eyahluke kwaphela, ebandayo. Ndicinge ukuba le ntshukumo ibonakala ngathi inyanzelekile ibangelwa yimpikiswano enkulu kunye nabazali bakhe abalawulayo. UDustin wala ukwabelana ngoko kuthethwayo kanye okanye kwenzeka ntoni. Yayiphantse yangathi kukho umntu omenze ilobotomized. Uye wemka ekubeni ngumntu onobuchule nophumayo owayenokundicengcelezela iivenkile zikaShakespeare kum kwivenkile yokutya, kumntu owayebonakala enomsindo kuye nabani na owayenomdla kwishishini lokuzonwabisa. Ndingomnye wabo bantu. Kuba bendifuna ukwenza into enobuchule ngobomi bam, bendijongwa ndingenangqondo. Xa ndizama ukumbuza malunga nokukhetha kwakhe ukushiya amaphupha akhe okwenza, wayezikhusela.
Akunakwenzeka ngokupheleleyo. Zeziphi iingxaki endinokuzenza, njengomdlali weqonga? Idigri kubugcisa bobugcisa ayiqinisekisi nto ngaphandle kweetafile zokulinda.
Awuzukuzama? Ndithe. Awazi ngaphandle kokuba uyazama.
Andithethi ngale nto. Akukho ngqiqweni. Wayigqiba incoko, kwaye kwiiveki ezimbalwa kamva, ulwalamano lwethu lwaphela ngokunjalo. Ndixelelwe ngabahlobo bethu bobabini uDustin wayedibene nomfundi ongumongikazi. Ndathuthela eNew York ndaza ndazama isandla sam ekusebenzeni, ndaphazamiseka ngokupheleleyo. Ihambile iminyaka, ndamfumana kumajelo onxibelelwano. Ndanditshatile ngelo xesha, kwaye wayetshatile umongikazi kwaye waba nguloo ophumelelayo wokubulala iintlungu ngendlela awayefuna ngayo wonke umntu. Iifoto zabo zeprofayile zapeyinta usapho olonwabileyo. Umtshato wabo wawukhangeleka ngathi yi-insert esuka Umtshakazi kwiphephancwadi. Iinwele zakhe kuhlaziyo olugqibeleleyo kunye nokuphefumla kosana okugxininisa njengoko wayenxibe ilokhwe yebhola yomtshato ejonge emazantsi. Gcwalisa ngendlu enkulu eCharlotte, North Carolina. Babenabantwana abane, ukubuyisa igolide; eyona nto ilahlekileyo yayilucingo olumhlophe. Babeyimodeli yasedolophini yosapho lwe-Facebook. Wayehlala ekhaya umama owenza amaxabiso amakhulu eebhedi ezazithengiswa e-Etsy. Mna naye satshintshiselana ngobumnandi obungenamsebenzi ngoMthunywa. Ndandihlala ndijonga iprofayili yakhe rhoqo kwaye ndizibuze ukuba ubomi bam ngebunjani ukuba bendiyintombi ethobekileyo. Ayindim lowo.
Njengoko umtshato wam wavula. Ndiza kujonga iprofayili yomntu wonke kwaye ndizibuze. Ngaba kukho nayiphi na eyinyani konke konke? Ngenxa yokuba into ebonakala kwiprofayili yam ngokuqinisekileyo ayizange ihambelane nenyaniso yento eyenzekayo ngokwenene. Ngaba ukhona umntu onobomi obugqibeleleyo?
Kwakusele kudlule iinyanga ezininzi ndishiya i ex yam. Kwakuyinto engaqhelekanga ukufumana umyalezo wasebusuku emva kwexesha kumfana othile owayenxilile endandikhe ndaya naye kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo okanye ekholejini, endixelela ukuba ngoku bebengatshatanga, becela ukuza kundithuthuzela eNew York. Ndingala.
Ngokukhawuleza xa umyalezo ovela ku-Dustin uvela kwi-inbox yam ngo-10: 30 ebusuku, intliziyo yam yaqhayisa ngokuzingca. Ndayazi kwangoko ukuba izothini. Ngoku wayelilungu leklabhu yoqhawulo mtshato ngokunjalo! Ndimyeke enze uninzi lokuchwetheza. Emva kweminyaka eyi-12 betshatile, unyango lwezibini kunye namanye amaqhinga angasebenziyo, wathi ekugqibeleni wayeqhubela phambili. Kufuneka ndilalise unyana wam. Masigqibe le ncoko kamva kule veki. uthe. Ubusengqondweni yam kakhulu.
Ewe ndiqale ukuthandana ngobuhlobo noDustin. Amanye amadoda eza nabantwana. Awuthathelwa ingqalelo kuphela indima yendodakazi, kodwa nezinto zikamama ngokunjalo. Kuya kufuneka uboyise abantwana, uchukumise abazali bakhe, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu, nkqu nowayesakuba ngumfazi kunye nosapho, ukuya kwinqanaba elithile. Ngaba ndikulungele ukuthatha abantwana abane? Ndanyathela irhasi kwaye ndakhawulezisa imeko ezinokubakho entlokweni yam noDustin. Mhlawumbi inokusebenza.
Wayenokuza eNew York kwaye abone ukuba bunjani ubomi bam. Siza kuba nempelaveki emangalisayo kunye, wayeza kundibhabhisa ndiye eCharlotte. Andizukudibana nabantwana bakhe kwangoko, silinde ubuncinci iinyanga ezintathu ukuya kwezine kulonto, kodwa ndilinde… abantwana ?! Zine zazo. Ngaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-10 ubudala, umncinci kwaye unokubonakala. Ndicinga ukuba ndiyabachola, emva kokugcina abantwana, okanye isikolo, okanye nantoni na eyenziwa ngabantwana, kwiMercedes SUV ephethe i-frappucino ngesandla. Ndingaba yintombazana epholileyo eya kubayisa eMcDonalds emva kwesikolo kuba umfazi wakhe wangaphambili wayemthiyile uMcDonalds.
Abanye oomama babehleba bathi, Intombi entsha kaDustin evela eNew York intle kakhulu kwaye inomdla. Kuya kufuneka eze naye aze kudlala kunye nomntwana! Sasihlala sonke ngasemva sisele iti emnandi, kwaye sithethe ngeentlanganiso ze-PTA kunye nezinye izinto zomama. Singaququzelela ukuthengisa igaraji kunye, sixoxa ngemoto. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kubakho enye into yokugcwalisa uhlobo lomama apho, kwaye sinokubopha ngaphezulu kwabantwana bethu abakhohlisayo. Ndiyathemba ukuba ndiza kwamkelwa, kwaye emva koko ndijoyine iJunior League namanye amanenekazi kwaye yonke into iya kuba yinto emnandi.
Ndaphuma kwiphupha lam elihlekisayo. Yintoni eqhelekileyo kwisiXeko saseNew York, okanye nasiphi na isixeko esikhulu, ayiqhelekanga naphi na. Ngaba ndandilindelwe ukuba ndibuvavanye ubomi bam kwaye ndenze ngathi ndingumntu endingenguye? Wonke umntu unexesha elidlulileyo anokufikelela kulo ngonqakrazo olumbalwa kwi-intanethi. Njengokutshekishwa njengokuba bekukho okwam, kundincedile ukuba ndibengulomntu ndiyiyo namhlanje, kutheni ke ndinokuba neentloni ngezithintelo kunye nobungqindilili obubangele ukuba ubomi bam bube yinto engaqhelekanga.
Nangona uDustin wathi ndandisengqondweni yakhe, ndandiza kwenza ntoni? Ngaba yayikukubaleka nje ebomini bakhe, ngokungena kwam ngaphandle kwesithembiso sokwenyani esihlala ixesha elide? Ingcinga yobudlelwane kunye naye ngequbuliso yabonakala ngathi iyindlela yomlilo eya ebomini uKati Winslet kunye noLeonardo DiCaprio abasokolayo kuyo Indlela yoHlaziyo. UDustin wawaphelisa amaphupha akhe kwakudala, kwaye wazama ukwenza okufanayo nakum. Ndavukela ngoko, kwaye kutheni ndizitshintsha iindlela zam ngoku? Ukuba abazali bakhe bamkhulisile ukuba angayilandeli eyona nto wayeyifuna, ngaba yile ndlela angalindela ukuba abantwana bakhe bakhuliswe ngayo?
Andizange ndibenomkhuhlane wosana, kodwa mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba ndiseza kudibana neqabane elilungileyo, nalapho ke ngubani owaziyo ukuba ndingaziva njani ngayo. UDebbie Harry wakha wathetha into enje, Uyaqonda ukuba ungangumzali olungileyo, kodwa nje ukuba wenze, umdala kakhulu ukuba ungaba nabantwana bakho.
Bendidinwe engqondweni emva kokucinga ngazo zonke ezi zinto. Ndabona ukuba ndichithe imizuzu engama-45 ndidlala ngobomi bam eMantla Carolina kunye noDustin. Ukuba ingcinga yalo lonke uxinzelelo indiphelile, ibingazukusebenza. Kwagqitywa ekubeni ndizakuba nobuhlobo, bendizakuba lapho kuye njengomhlobo ukuba uyafuna. Njengesiqhelo bendikuyeke ngokupheleleyo ukucinga kwam ukubaleka nam. Nokuba uDustin wayecinga ntoni ngam, inokuba ibikhawuleza, okanye naye udlale eyakhe imeko kunye nam entlokweni yakhe. Ndayishiya ndedwa, kwaye andizange ndive kuye kwakhona. Ke engqondweni yam ibikukuqhekeka ngoxolo kwinto engazange iqale kwaukuqala.
