UPapa oMncinci: Yonke imibuzo esinayo Phambi kweNkulumbuso yeXesha

Indumiso ibe kweliphezulu! Ngale Cawa, Usuku lweNkosi, UPapa oMncinci Ekugqibeleni iqala kwi-HBO kubo bonke ubutsha bayo, ubuqaqawuli bopopu, ngokudibanisa zonke ezona mfundiso zibalaseleyo zikaYohane 3:16 kunye neemfundiso ezingcwele zika UAustin 3:16 ukwenza isitya esimangalisayo sokugcwalisa ukunyelisa kunye nomdlalo weqonga. Ndiyavuya. Unemincili. Isihogo, ndilindele Twitter eSodom naseGomora ngokwawo kukungabikho kunye nolonwabo olusulungekileyo, kwaye umboniso awukabonakalisi.

Ngale nto ithethwayo: Ngaba ukhona umntu onobunzima bokuqonda ukuba yintoni UPapa oMncinci imalunga, ngaphandle koPopu omncinci? Kusenokwenzeka! Ngethamsanqa, ndibone iziqendu ezibini (2) kwaye, ngaphandle abonakalisi Ndilapha ukuphendula eyona mibuzo itshisa isulfure. Njenge…

Intoni ngu UPapa oMncinci ?

UPapa oMncinci luthotho lomnyhadala omkhulu olandelayo weHBO, kushushu izithende ze IWestworld , onokuyikhumbula inyibilikisa iingqondo eziqokelelweyo ze-intanethi ukuya kuthi ga apho, nokuba ingakanani inkunkuma yakhe endiyikhetha ngobusuku, andikaqiniseki ukuba uJeffrey Wright akayona irobhothi ye-IRL. Ke, ewe, izihlangu ezikhulu zokugcwalisa UPapa oMncinci . Ivela kumenzi wefilimu wase-Italiya uPaolo Sorrentino ( Oosaziwayo , Ulutsha ), owabhala waqondisa zonke iziqendu.

[Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele loo nto UPapa oMncinci esele ivele phesheya kolwandle, okokuqala e-Italiya nge-21 ka-Okthobha, emva koko i-UK kunye ne-Ireland nge-26 ka-Okthobha. Ndiqinisekile, kwaye ndicinga ukuba idatha iyandixhasa, ukuba yayiyimpumelelo enje ngokukhawuleza yabuyisela iBrexit]

Kodwa NGUBANI uPapa oselula?

UPopu oselula nguPius XIII, igama lokwenyani nguLenny Belardo, odlalwe ngokukuko ngokujongwa ngamatye nguJude Law. U-Lenny uyaphawuleka kuba engu-Pope wokuqala waseMelika, une-Cherry Coke Zero, kwaye kwenzeka ukuba aneminyaka eyi-47 kuphela.

Akunjalo nokuba mncinci.

Akunjalo, kubonakala ngathi kunjalo ngenxa yokuba u-A) umthetho kaJude Law ongapheliyo ubuso obuhle kunye no-B) iiPapa zethu zakutshanje ziye zafana no-Emperor Palpatine Idabi leenkwenkwezi kunye noCarl Fredricksen osuka kuPstrong Phezulu . Njengoko ndibhalile ngaphambili , kuye kwakho oopopu abancinci kakhulu kuyo yonke imbali, kwaye bonke kuye kwavela ukuba ngabadlwenguli, ababulali, abakhonza iidemon, kwaye lo mfo uthe ngqo wathengisa upapa ngenxa yokudikwa.

Ke, ngaba kunokuba kubi?

Ngaba kunokuba kubi. Ayyy, lmao.Ifoto nguHulton Archive / Getty Izithombe

Ke yintoni engalunganga ngoPius XIII?

IVatican intiyo UPius, kuba ungumxube ophilileyo womqeshi oshushu ongacingelwayo ophambeneyo ngokusemthethweni. Andifuni kunika kakhulu, kodwa okuninzi UPapa oMncinci idlala ngathi sisiqendu esihle esenziwe kakuhle Oomama bokwenyani beSixeko saseVatican , Kwaye uPius XIII ngukumkanikazi-bitch. Njengaye, wohlwaya uKhadinali malunga nolungiselelo lwebrunch ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye. Qaphela: Iyamangalisa.

Kodwa kwangaxeshanye, umboniso uyafana Indlu yeeKhadi loMthandazo , kuba uPopu ujongene neliqhinga lokulawula iCawa yamaKatolika ngengqindi yentsimbi. Ukunyanzela abefundisi ukuba baphule isifungo sabo sokugcina imfihlo, bebambe iintloni ezinzulwini zobusuku behleli eSt. Peter's Basilica, bexaka abantu ngegama lakhe elihle laseMelika. Isivumelwano sonke. Kwaye, kwakhona, uLenny umane ephindaphindwe kane kunabasebenzi bakhe bonke kwaye angenza, njenge, 15 pushups ezilula ukuze iVictoria City ibaleke ngokwayo kwizangqa izama ukuqonda lo mfo.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uPope anyulwe?

Okokuqala, mfondini, zenzele iTyeya enkulu kuba uPius XIII = Iziqwenga zikaDonald Trump zizokukhukula i-intanethi.

Kodwa ewe, iiPapa kufuneka zonyulwe, kwaye UPapa oMncinci , ubuncinci okwangoku, akubonakali ngathi uxhalabile kakhulu kukuhlola ukuba uLenny Belardo waba njani nguPopu Pius XIII. Kwaye… ingaba lolona candelo lubalaseleyo lomboniso? Inesandi esiphantsi sobunyani sobunyani kuyo, umgangatho ophantse uphuphe apho wamkela nje ukuba uPopu uyinzwana ye-AF, uguqukile kakhulu ukuya kwinqanaba lobuzwilakhe kwaye ewe, ngelinye ixesha uyanxiba kwi-LMFAO's Sexy kwaye ndiyazi It. Inqaku lesibini: Kuyamangalisa.

UDiane Keaton ukule nto?

Ewe, kunjalo, kwaye uyanamathela phantse Kakhulu njengobukhulu ( ngokucacileyo inkohliso ) i-mole kumdlali weqonga uSilvio Orlando. Udlala uDade Mary, unongendi waseMelika owake wakhulisa inkedama uLenny Belardo, ke ngokuxhomekeke kwindawo ohleli kuyo kwindalo ngokuchasene nokukhulisa le nto intle kakhulu. U-Lenny uzisa uDade Mary eVatican kwaye wammisela okwesibini ukuba abe ngumphathi, isigqibo esibangela ukuba ngaphezulu kwesibini seeRosari Beads zibanjwe kukothuka.

Kwaye UJames Cromwell?

I-Cromwell isezantsi-isitshixo sesona senzo sihle kule nto, ngokunyanisekileyo. Udlala uKhadinali Michael Spencer, umcebisi wangaphambili kaLenny lowo umhle kakhulu ukuba abe ngumfundisi-frogged kwisikhundla sokuba nguPopu. UMichael Spencer… akakuthathi kakuhle oku, ukutsho nje okuncinci.

Isigqibo sokugqibela: Ngaba kufuneka ndibukele UPapa oMncinci ?

Ngqo phezulu, UPapa oMncinci yenye yezona zinto zingummangaliso endakha ndazibona. Yinto, kwaoko, intle, inomdla, iyabandakanyeka, iyadika, iyacaphukisa kwaye ikhanyise. UJude Law unamandla, ukwenziwa kwefilimu ngamanye amaxesha kuyaphefumla, kwaye uLenny Belardo usenokungena kwimbali yeTV ecaleni kukaDonald Draper kunye noTony Soprano. UPapa oselula umiselwe ukuba ube njalo into , umfanekiso ogqibeleleyo walo mzuzu kanye ngo-2017 xa sisoyika ubunkokheli bethu kwaye sijikeleza into ethile, nantoni na kwimidiya yoluntu, hayi, ungahleki kodwa sihlangene ngamandla malunga, kunye. Usenokuzonda UPopu omncinci e, okanye uthando UPapa oMncinci , kodwa ndiyakuthembisa nokuba ungaziva njani ngamandla ye UPapa oMncinci .

Ke, kufuneka ubukele UPapa oMncinci ? Ngandlela thile, kuya kufuneka. Kuye kwamiselwa.