URamona Royale ufumana i-vampy on Ibali laseMelika laseMelika . (FX) Woo, ndifumana umvuzo wam ngenene ngale nto. Uxolo, AMFSNYAPCTNLAHS abalandeli! NjengoAlex, ndichithe uninzi lweveki ephelileyo esibhedlele. Ngokungafaniyo no-Alex, andizange ndikwazi ukuguqula nabaphi na abantwana babe zizilo ezongeziweyo ze-ADHD, nangona ngokuqinisekileyo NDIMBonile umfana ekhupha i-IV yakhe emva koko esihla ehla epasejini enegazi elitshiza ngengalo yakhe de ii-odolo zibizwa ngokuba ziiNkonzo zokusiNgqongileyo. Ke ngokusisiseko, bendihlala kwiBali lam eliManyumnyezi laseMelika, elaziwa njengeNew York Presbyterian, eLower Manhattan. (URyan Murphy, ndibize!)
Kwakhona ngenxa yolu tyelelo lwesibhedlele sele lukhankanyiwe, bendinomphithi omncinci xa ndibukele isiqendu sale veki. Ke ungadlala umdlalo omnandi ukuba yeyiphi kwezi zinto zenzeke ehotele phezolo, kwaye nguDrew owenza i-morphine haze. Ngokuzimeleyo, azikho iimpendulo eziphosakeleyo… ikakhulu ngenxa yokuba nditsaliwe (pun INJONGO, mnumzana olungileyo!) Ukuskrola kwiqela lezinto ezibuyayo ngenjongo yokujonga inyani.
1) UTristan kunye no-Elizabeth Taylor bathandana, kubonakala ngathi abekho kwiscreen. Bazinikele ngokupheleleyo omnye komnye ngoku, engenangqondo kwaphela ngaphandle kokuba ndiphoswe yinto ENKULU. Ngaba uTristan ufumene ubuntu? Ngaba unomoya kaJames Matshi, othi, nangona usengobubi, ubuncinci ngumlingiswa oqhubela phambili nokhulisayo othanda ukuqeqesha ii-weirdos ukuba zibe ngababulali ababalaseleyo abanokuba ngabo? AYICACANGA. Into esiyaziyo kukuba uTristan ulala nabantu ababini kwaye uLiz Taylor, njengowasetyhini odlulayo, ulungile. Ke, ndiyaqikelela, ngokuqinisekileyo, banokuwela ebhedini kunye ngaxa lithile, kuthathelwa ingqalelo ukuba ihotele iCortez lilizwe lokwenene: alifi. Ekugqibeleni wonke umntu uza kudibana.
I-2) UJohn Lowe, ngokwenyani yenyani yeHlabathi, wayifumana kathathu kunye namantombazana afileyo aseMpuma Yurophu, kuba befuna ukuba ngabona bantu baziziporho okanye into. Bopha kulo lonke u-John Lowe, ophambene ingqondo, kodwa babesenza ukukhangela umphefumlo (i-pun eyenzelwe kwakhona!) Ukuzama ukufumana indlela yabo yokuphuma ehotele. Ngo-Matshi uphinde ungene eLowe kwakhona, kwaye bathengisa i-banter malunga nothixo owaziyo. Nokuba yeyiphi na, kuya kucaca mhlophe ukuba umboniso ufuna ukuba sicinge ukuba uJohn Lowe wenza ukubulawa kweBhayibhile kwaye akukaqondakali okwangoku.
3) Sifunda ukuba u-Countess wayekhe waya kwiNdlu yokubulala ukusuka kwixesha loku-1 ukuya kukhipha isisu esidala kuDkt Montgomery. Ngaba wayengeyona vampire kodwa ngelo xesha? Ayicacanga! Kodwa umntwana uyaphila, indlela yokuqala yekota yokuqala, kodwa ekhubazekile. Ngokucacileyo oku kungenxa yokuba uGqr. Montgomery wayengoyena gqirha ubalaseleyo emhlabeni. Wayengakwazi nokusikhupha isisu ngaphandle kokuba asifakele kwaye ahambise umntwana, nangona abantu abadumileyo ababekhupha izisu kuyabonakala ukuba yayingu-M. Damn, eMontgomery. Ukucaca nje, nantso into kaMontgomery, umntwana ongafakwanga isisu wayebukeka:
Umsebenzi omhle kakhulu!
I-4) I-Countess, ngaphandle kokubonakala ipholile ngokupheleleyo ngolu hlobo lwento, ubulala uTristan phambi kukaLiz Taylor, nokuba kungcatshwa okanye ngenxa yokuba ebambekile ngamatye. Ngokwenene bubungqina bokwenza kukaLady Gaga (into endingazange ndiyicinge ukuba ndingathi, tbh) ukuba angayi diva epheleleyo kule ndawo njengoJessica Lange. Endaweni yokuba ayidlale ithule, ibonakale, kwaye uninzi lusoyikeka, nohlobo olubuhlungu lovelwano. Emva koko uyokujonga umntwana wakhe okhubazekileyo, u-Bartholomew, ngaphambi kokuba aye eParis kunye nomyeni wakhe omtsha, u-Will Drake.
5) Ulandelelwano olude apho ndibanjwa khona kuThagethi emva kokuba umqeshwa egungxula ubhaka wam kwindlu yangasese. Umama ligosa lokubamba.
6) UJohn ujika ngasendlwini yakhe ukuze abone ukuba akanako ukushukumisa la mntwana wakhe wokugqibela unesifo. Ujika uBartholomew (igama elikhulu lekati, btw) usemithwalweni kaLowe, kwaye xa ekhululeka, uLowe uyaphuma. Ukhupha umpu wakhe endlwini yowayesakuba ngumfazi wakhe phambi kwentombi yakhe encinci, emva koko… .Andikhumbuli ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Amapolisa abonisa (ngokucacileyo)? U-Lowe uyakwazi ukutyibilika kwi-sloe gin ukuthintela ukubanjwa?
I-7) UAlex ubuyela ekhaya kwaye watyelelwa ngoko nangoko ziinkonzo zabantwana, abathi ekugqibeleni bafumane incam eshushu malunga neLowe yeyona imbi kakhulu. Emva koko uBartholomew (ukuba wayeyikati yam, ndingambiza Mnu Batholomeow!) Udla unontlalontle (s?) Kunye no-Alex bamfumana exhomekile kwi-shrubbery, apho ambuyisela khona kwi-Countess eCortez. Uyanikwa umvuzo okanye hayi; U-Countess ukhululekile kuba ngokungafaniyo nezinye iintsana zakhe ezibiweyo, uyathanda, uyamthanda kakhulu lo.
I-8) URamona Royale kunye noMat Bomer banodlame kwaye ngoku ligosa lokhuseleko elimnyama ukusuka kwisizini yokuqala endibambayo ngenxa yokuba ndinento engekho mthethweni ebhegini yam. Ubiza umhlobo wam osenyongweni ovela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kwaye emxelela ukuba sizakudinga ungenelelo, kodwa ndikwi-speakerphone. Kwakhona, sikwi-Wendy's drive-thru, malunga noku-odola, ke ngoku, bonke abasebenzi bakaWendy bakuva ngedrama yam. Yinto supes iintloni.
9) Isiphelo.
Ke ndicinga ukuba ndinemibuzo embalwa apha: intsholongwane ye-vampire ayenzi ukuba ungafi, kuba usenokubulawa ngeendlela eziqhelekileyo, akunjalo? NjengoTristan wabanjwa ngumqala kwaye isoka likaRoyale lathunyelwa ngendlela efanayo. Ke, ngokusisiseko, i-vampire gene iya kuba yiBotox entsha kwaye iya kusetyenziswa ikakhulu kwiinjongo zokuthambisa.
Kodwa kwakhona: ngaba bekukho ukukhankanywa kwabo bantwana bevampire aboyikisa isikolo ngeHalloween? Ngaba i-vampire gene isasazeka? Bazi njani abantwana indlela yokusasaza (ngokusela igazi lomnye nomnye) endaweni yokutyhoboza zivuleke zonke iintamo zabo?
Ngaba siyakhathala ngoJohn Lowe kwaphela? Kuthekani malunga nokuba ngubani igama lomlingiswa kaMat Bomer? Ngaba simkhathalele? Ndinomdla wokubona indlela u-Iris, u-Royale kunye no-Liz Taylor abanomsindo ngoku bazakudibana behlise igenge yase-Cortez, kodwa bengenamdla njengoko ndisitsho, ubutshaba phakathi kwe-Gerhardts ne-Kansas City Fargo .
Ngubani oshiyekileyo kwihotele iCortez ukuyilwela, ngaphandle kokungasebenzi kakuhle kuka-Drake, u-The Countess, kwaye mhlawumbi ngoMatshi, ukuba uya kuthatha isigqibo sokubandakanyeka ekusebenzisaneni nezithunzela?
Ngaba iziporho zingabulala i-vampires?
Ngaba iziporho zinokubulala abantu abane-vampire gene?
Ngaba iziporho zinokubulala umntu?
Kwaye nangokunjalo…
