Ikhabhathi kwihlathi . Ngengcebiso yomhlobo ochaze Ikhabhathi kwihlathi Njengakwimiboniso bhanyabhanya elandelayo eyothusayo kunye ne-mayhem, ndiyilumile imbumbulu kwaye ndasokola ngenxa ye-creepfest esisidenge esenza i-trashy slash-and-burn epics Abantu xa kuthelekiswa neZombi kwaye ndithufela engcwabeni kubonakala ngathi Molière kwaye Proust. Ezinye iifilimu kufuneka zifune abaphulaphuli bazo njengeoyile ifuna inqanaba layo emanzini. Abanye bafika ngolindelo lwelizwi-ngomlomo ulindelo olungenakuchazwa. Le yenye yazo.
Ubungqina bemimangaliso yokubhala phantsi kokhokelo lwekristale meth, obu buhlungu bobusuku bayo yonke into ukusuka I-Texas Chainsaw Massacre kwi-Scream franchise iyasilela ngokupheleleyo ekuqiqeni, kwaye ingcaciso entle kakhulu.Abantwana abahlanu beekholeji bathabatha iveni yemoto bayisa kwikhabhathi yelizwe yeveki. Bemise kwityotyombe eliwayo kwindlela ethe tye ukuze bathenge igesi, badibana necretin enamazinyo abolileyo kunye neliso elinye elihlambalaza abafazi lize litshise ijusi yecuba emadodeni afana nomnqamlezo phakathi kukaYosemite Sam kunye nomninimzi womboniso wetalente wetroglodyte. Ngasemva nje kwefestile yeglasi enegazi kumi umphanda wamagwegwe enyama. Owu, ndiyayifumana. Kukuthumela okwenziwe kwimovie yakudala kunye nee-clichés kwi Iintsomi ezivela kwi-Crypt iiqhulo. Endaweni yokubuyela emva kwimpucuko, ukuya phambili batyibilika, bawela intaba encinci emxinwa ukuya kwikhabhathi yee-cobwebs. Amagumbi anezibuko ezibini, imizobo eyoyikisayo yenkohlakalo kunye nokubulawa kwabantu, kunye nomnyango wokungena kwigumbi elingaphantsi kwezidumbu zisisiqalo nje seseti ekhangeleka ngathi yindlu eneziphatho e Knott's Berry Farm.
Nganye nganye, iindwendwe zifunda ngentsingiselo ye- gotcha. I-Zombies zivela emgxobhozweni kwaye zitye inyama yentshontsho emnandi. IiVampires zirhangqa inyanga kwaye zifunxe igazi elishushu. Kuphela yintombazana ekrelekrele efunda iZakhiwo zoQoqosho zeSoviet kunye ne-doofus yokutshaya, ngenxa yoko wayezama ukuba enze izivakalisi ezigqibeleleyo, akwazi ukusinda kwizilo ezitshayisa ngophahla, iifestile nasemigangatho. Oko basilelayo ukukuqaphela ziikhamera ezifihliweyo. Ewe! Amagumbi onke abekwe esweni eludongeni lwezikrini zevidiyo kuhlobo oluthile lwelebhu yesayensi ekude apho umkhosi woososayensi onjengamaqela okhuseleko kwimidlalo bhanyabhanya yaseRussia ehambisa ikhosi yomdlalo ngokutshintsha, kubandakanya nelinye elibizwa ngokuba yiZombie Redneck Torture Family, eguqula umkhosi omtsha wababulali abaphupha amaphupha amabi ebuntwaneni ukuba bavuke emangcwabeni abo kwaye badle, bagwaze babulale amalungu axolileyo. Yonke yinxalenye yomdlalo wevidiyo ocacileyo ovumela ukuhlawula abathengi ukuba babukele abantu bokwenyani abaxheliweyo ngokwesoyikiso lokukhetha. Abantwana abahlanu kule ndlwana banamabala amsulwa okuvavanya ubuchwephesha bomdlalo, indlela ehamba ngayo kuvavanyo lwemovie eyoyikisayo izandi zokukhwaza kweentsana njengoko zibondla emihlathini yeengwenya eziguqulweyo.
Umdlalo, njengemovie, bububudenge obungenantsingiselo. Ukuba iyathengisa, abantu abanomdla wonyaka banokufumana uloyiko lokwenyani ngelixa abadlali beqhekekile, nganye nganye. Into abavavanyi bomdlalo abangazange bathembele kuyo yayikukutsala amaxhoba ama-smart ngokwaneleyo ukuba angabakhubaza. Umdlalo uphela kuphela ukuba intombi iyasinda. Ngandlela thile ulawula ngokungummangaliso ukufumanisa konke, umgibeli ngamatye kunye nentombazana enobukrelekrele (eyintombi enyulu) bayakhasa engcwabeni baye kwelinye icala lesiko. Ke isihogo sokwenyani siyaphuma kwaye yonke imovie iyawa. Ayisiyomdlalo bhanyabhanya malunga nokwenza, ke ukungahoyi abantu abangonwabanga kuyo sisenzo sothando, kodwa ngandlela thile uSigourney Weaver ubonakalisa ukucoceka kuye kunye negalelo lakhe elibuhlungu kwimidlalo bhanyabhanya eyothusayo ukulumkisa ukuba ukuba intombi ayiphili kuyakuthetha ukufa kabuhlungu komphefumlo wonke womntu emhlabeni. Kodwa kutheni usitsho okunye? Ikhabhathi kwihlathi Usweleke sele ekwinqanaba lokugqibela eligcwele inkcazo yemetaphysical efilk kuyo yonke into eyoyikisayo.
Eli lilinge lokuqala kumlawuli uDrew Goddard, ophuhlise inkampu enkulu ngokulandela umbono wakhe we-wacko njengomvelisi kunye nombhali weziqendu ezininzi zeTV Ilahlekile kwaye Buffy iVampire Slayer . Umbono kuphela ekuboneni apha ziziphumo zezidalwa. Ukusuka kwi-werewolves ehlabayo kunye ne-cobra ehlekisayo kumntwana ongenabala kwimpahla ye-ballerina enobuso bayo bonke entla kwentamo ayisiyonto ngaphandle komngxunya ojikelezileyo ogcwele amazinyo abukhali, i-monstrosities yentsomi iyamangalisa. Eminye imovie luhlobo lokuchitha ixesha lokuqhuba olwenzelwe ukubhenela kwii-elektroniki ze-nerds kunye nee-skateboarders ezikhobokise kwimidlalo yevidiyo ye-Xbox 360 ulwazi lwabo lobugcisa luqala luphele ngeMTV2. Endaweni yeewands zekhompyuter ezinje ngabalawuli be-Wii yeNintendo, i-master fiends isebenza kwiipaneli zolawulo zokucofa amaqhosha kunye nokutsala ukuphuma ngaphandle UGqr Strangelove. Njengokuba amaxhoba abo esiba nzulu nangakumbi, le ngxelo iba sillier kunye nesillier. Mhlawumbi yiloo nto umgca opheleleyo wento abayibiza ngokuba zii-fanboys ekuhlolweni endiye ndakuhleka kuyo yonke indlela ngemovie, nangona ndoyisakele ukubona nantoni na ehlekisayo. Ndiyathandabuza ukuba aba bantu bayazi nokuba ngubani uSigourney Weaver.
Emngciphekweni wokumema isiphango semeyile engafunekiyo, ndiyavuma ukuba lilizwe elitsha kraca phaya. Ndonwabile ukuba kungafuneki ndibhalele yona.
rreed@observer.com
IKHABHININI KWIIMPAWU
Ixesha lokubaleka 95 imizuzu
Ibhalwe nguJoss Whedon kunye noDrew Goddard
Ekhokelwa nguDrew Goddard
Kudlala uRichard Jenkins, uBradley Whitford kunye noChris Hemsworth
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