Wamkelekile ku-Mntu othandekayo, ikholamu yengcebiso yoMqwalaseli.
Ndingubani? Ewe, ndinjalo UDana Schwartz , intombazana echitha ixesha elininzi kuTwitter, kwaye ngubani oyalela rhoqo xa kufuneka epheke imifuno ayithengileyo kwivenkile yokutya ngolunye usuku ebola kancinci efrijini. Kodwa, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ndingumntu ongaziwayo. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha udinga ingcebiso kwiqela elingenamkhethe ngokupheleleyo (eyenzeka nje ukuba ihlale ilungile.)
Imeyile DSchwartz@Braganca.com ngemibuzo okanye inkxalabo yakho, enkulu okanye encinci. Beka Ongaqhelekanga Ongaqhelekanga kumgca wesifundo ukuze ndiwuqwalasele. 
Iipesika zangaphambi komtshatoGetty / Schwartz
Mhlobo othandekayo,
Ke, nditshatile, akunjalo? Kwaye sihlala kunye-sisayine isivumelwano sokuqeshisa esitsha! Ubukhulu becala, sonwabile. Ndiyathetha, sinamaxesha ethu njengaye wonke umntu, kwaye ndiqinisekile, bendineengcinga zokuhamba. Ziinyawo nje ezibandayo, akunjalo?
Ngaphandle kokuba ndihlala ndicinga ngamanye amabhinqa, kwaye kubonakala ngathi kukhula yonke imihla. Njengabafazi abandingqongileyo, ngakumbi emsebenzini. Kukho le ntombazana iyandicaphukisa ngokwenene-inene, nyani nje ukucaphukisa okukhathazayo-kodwa andinakuyeka ukubonisa ukulala naye. Kubekho amaphupha nkqu! Nabanye abafazi. Apho isini silunge kakhulu siyaphula, kanye, njengayo yonke into. Akukho nto efana nesondo endinayo. . . Ugh. Ngaba umtshato kum? Ngaba ndifanele ndenze ngokuvisisana nezinye izibongozo? Ungabahoyi? Ngaba ndinokuba nengqondo? NDINGENZA NTONI?
Nceda,
S
Molo apho! Ndiyavuya ukukwazi. Ndiza kwenza iingqikelelo ezimbalwa malunga nobomi bakho ngokusekwe kwi-imeyile yakho. Khange utsho njalo, kodwa ndiza kuqikelela ukuba uyamthanda umlingane wakho. Ndiyathetha, uphakamisile. Kwaye nihlala kunye, nto leyo edla ngokuba yinto oyenzayo nomntu omthandayo kwaye ofuna ukwabelana naye ngobomi.
Ndinephupha malunga noMilo Ventimiglia phezolo, kwaye isondo lamaphupha lalilungile, lilungile. (Ndingathini? Muhle kakhulu ngaloo madevu.) Kodwa emva koko ndiyavuka ndize ndincume isithandwa sam ndihlekise naye kwaye ndichithe ubomi kunye naye.
Ukuphendula imibuzo yakho ngolandelelwano:
1) Umtshato ayisosigwebo sentambo-kukuzibophelela ukuba nomntu, kwaye niqhubeke nobomi kunye. Kuya kuphuma kunye nokuhamba kunye nobomi bakho bobulili buya kuphucula kwaye buhlaziye kwaye buhlaziye kwakhona. Ucebisile, kwaye uhlala nomntu, eziyimpawu zombini ukuba ufuna ukutshata.
2) Hayi.
3) Ewe.
4) Hayi.
5) Cinga ngazo zonke izinto ozithandayo ngomlingane wakho, kwaye unethamsanqa lokuba ube ekuqaleni kobomi bakho nomntu ofuna ukwabelana ngobomi babo nawe. Kuya kuba nzima kwaye yoyikeka kwaye kungakholeleki. Ukuba ufuna ukucoca ubomi bakho ngokwesondo, ungayenza loo nto! Thenga ezinye i-lube kunye nozankosi uze uye kwikhawuntara yendawo entsha ngesivumelwano osisayinileyo.
Ngaphandle koko, le ntombazana uthi ucinga ukuba ulala nayo iyacaphukisa kakhulu-ungade ndifuna ukuba kubudlelwane naye? Ndakhe ndadibana noMilo Ventimiglia eChicago ComicCon kwaye ukunyaniseka, wayenobukrwada kwaye uyadika. Zero chemistry.
Musa ukuzitshabalalisa ngenxa yokuba usoyika. Khange ukhankanye nantoni na kule leta ebonisa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bangoku buneziphene ezisisiseko, nto leyo ekhokelela ekubeni ndikholelwe ukuba oku ziinyawo ezibandayo rhoqo kwaye ayikhuli ingqiniseko malunga nengxaki enkulu.
Intlahla egqibelele. Kwaye uzive ukhululekile ukundithumelela isilayidi sekhekhe emva komtshato.
* * *
Mhlobo othandekayo,
Ndihleli nesithandwa sam iminyaka emithathu enesiqingatha. Siye sahlala kunye kangangeminyaka emibini kuloo minyaka. Ukwiqondo lokugqibela kumashumi amathathu anesithathu kanti mna ndikwiminyaka yamashumi amathathu anantathu. Besisoloko sivana kwaye ndiye ndamthanda kakhulu. Kukho imiba emininzi emincinci malunga nokucoca kunye nokupheka, kodwa eyona ngxaki inkulu kukuba asisondelelani rhoqo. Asikaze sibekho. Ndiye ndaphindaphinda ukuyinyusa kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo kwaye ndizamile ukutshintsha amaqhinga ukuze ndimenze abe nomdla ngakumbi (abe ndlongondlongo, abe krwada, anxibe isexier, alale kwangoko, njl.) Kodwa akukho nto ikhangeleka itshintshile. Emva kwexesha lokugqibela esithethe ngalo ndaye ndabona ukuba akukho nto izakutshintsha kwaye sele ndizivalele ngokwasemphefumlweni nangokwasemzimbeni kuye. Andazi nokuba mandidlule kulento ndizame ukwenza izinto zisebenze okanye ndincame ndiqhubeke.
Ndimxelele ukuba athethe nogqirha kwaye akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokwezonyango. Uthe uzame izinto ezimbalwa, kodwa khange ndikwazi ukwahlula. Andikwazi ukuxelela ukuba andibeki msebenzi owoneleyo kubudlelwane okanye ukuba nje asihambelani. Iingcinga zam?
Ukusuka,
Ungakanani Umsebenzi Ngumsebenzi Ogqithisileyo?
Ngamanye amaxesha, kukho umahluko osisiseko othetha ukuba ubudlelwane nje abuzukusebenza.
Ulwalamano lwakho lubonakala ngathi lubanjelwe kunye ngumkhwa kwesiqhelo ngeli xesha. Kunzima ukwahlukana nomntu omthandayo ixesha elide, kwaye loo nto ayikokuvuma nokuba lingakanani iphupha elibi lokuhamba. Kodwa njengoko iinyaniso zimi, nina nobabini anivumelani ngesondo, kwaye nguwe kuphela ozama ukusombulula le ngxaki.
Ukucaca, ikhemistry yesondo ibaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane obuhle. Ndisisiqhelo esikolweni sokucinga ukuba wonke umntu ufanelwe ngumntu obabonelela ngenani elifanelekileyo le-orgasms. Kodwa ayisiyiyo kuphela ingxaki apha: nguwe ofaka umsebenzi-uwuzise, uzama amaqhinga ezesondo, ukuba athethe nogqirha. Ukuzama izinto ezimbalwa akonelanga. Ubudlelwane budinga amaqela amabini otyalomali, kwaye inyani yokuba uzivale ngokwasemoyeni nangokwasemzimbeni kuye oko kuthetha ukuba mhlawumbi umzimba wakho ufikelele kwisigqibo esifanelekileyo phambi kokuba ingqondo yakho inako.
Umntu oye wahlala naye iminyaka emibini enemicimbi emincinci malunga nokupheka nokucoca ngumntu ohlala naye egumbini, hayi iqabane elithandanayo. Ufanelwe ngumntu onokukunika yonke into oyifunayo, kwaye ulwe ecaleni kwakho ukwenza izinto zibengcono xa bema.
