Ndisinde kwi-Amtrak 188

Ndinento yokuthanda kakhulu iintlekele.

Umyeni wam kunye nabahlobo abambalwa bayayazi indlela endinomdla ngayo kukungqubana kweenqwelomoya. Ndichithe iiyure ndifunda malunga nabo, ndicofa amaphepha e-Wikipedia ukuya kwiingxelo zeBhodi yoKhuseleko kuThutho kaZwelonke. Xa ndandingumfundi omtsha kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndakhetha intsholongwane yenqanawa yenqanawa njengesihloko sephepha. Ndifunde ndiphindaphinda malunga neentlekele zomlilo ezinje ngeSitishi iklabhu yasebusuku okanye iklabhu yezeNtlalontle yaseHlandland.

Andazi kutheni. Ndingumntu oxhalabileyo, ke mhlawumbi yindlela ethile yokuzikhusela-ukuqonda izinto kubenza bangoyiki. Kwaye ukuqonda izinto kunye nokukwazi ukuzicacisa yinxalenye yomsebenzi wam njengentatheli. Kwinqanaba elisisiseko, umsebenzi wam umalunga nokufuna ukwazi kunye nokuqokelela ulwazi esizama ukujika sibe ziimpendulo.

Ke ngeentsuku ukusukela oko u-Amtrak 188 wabhabha kwimizila yakhe kunye nam kunye nabanye abantu abangama-242 ababehleli ngaphakathi kuyo, khange ndikwazi ukuyeka ukucinga malunga nokwenzekileyo. Yenye yezinto zokuqala ndathi ngokuvakalayo, emva kokuba siphumle: Ingenzeka njani le nto? Ndihlala ndiyifaka engqondweni yam, ndinethemba lokuba ndiza kuyifumana ingcaciso.

Bendihleli emotweni ezolileyo, imoto yesibini yokukhwela kuloliwe. Ndichithe isiqingatha sokuqala sokukhwela ndisebenza, ndigqibezela ibali ngohambo lukaSodolophu uBill de Blasio oluya eWashington, D.C Ukugqiba kwam ibali lam ndaxoxa ngokuqala kwenye. Kodwa bendidiniwe. Umakhulu wam wasweleka kusuku olungaphambi kolo, kwaye phambi kwam nje ukuba ndehle kuloliwe yayiza kuba ngumvuko wakhe kunye nomngcwabo. Ndithathe isigqibo sokuzisika ikhefu kwaye ndiphumle iyure enesiqingatha sokugqibela. Ndahamba ndaya emotweni yekhefi, apho umqeshwa olungileyo waseAmtrak wandixelela ukuba baphelelwe yiwayini emhlophe, ndaye nda-odola ibhotile encinci ye- $ 6.50 yecabernet sauvignon, ndamshiyela incam, ndabuya nayo iwayini ndaya esihlalweni sam.

Bendihleli esihlalweni esingasezantsi kwicala lasetreyini kungekho mntu ecaleni kwam, emva kokuhamba ukusuka kwicala lasekunene likaloliwe xa wonke umqolo wasekhohlo uvulekile. Ndisele iwayini yam kwikomityi yeplastiki ndafunda kwi-iPhone yam. Ndathumela umyalezo kumyeni wam, u-Andrew, ndibuza ukuba angandithatha na malunga neyure xa sifika eNewark, kwaye wathi uzakubakhona xa uloliwe wam engena ngo-10: 10.

IPhiladelphia yafika yahamba. Kwimizuzu kamva uloliwe washukuma. Yanele ukundenza ndijonge phezulu. Yayivakalelwa ngokungathi iyile nto kanye- ngathi sasibetha ijika ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Ndiyazi ngoku ukuba ijika lalingasekhohlo, kodwa ekuphela kwento endandinokuziva kukuba uloliwe wayejinga ngasekunene. Ukusuka esihlalweni sam, ndandiyibona isenzeka kwimoto ephambi kwethu kuqala — imoto yodidi lweshishini, kumgama nje weenyawo ezimbalwa kum, apho uninzi lwabantu ababhubhileyo lwalukhona. Ndayibona incam yemoto ngasekunene, kwaye naliphi na ithemba endinalo ngololiwe ocothayo linyuka lumphunga. Kodwa kwangaxeshanye ingqondo yam yehla, kanye njengoko isitsho ngomzuzu onje, kwaye bendisazi ngokucacileyo ukuba siyasuswa. Ndeva isigaqa esikhulu kwacima izibane. Ifowuni yam kunye nendebe yewayini ziphume ezandleni zam. Ndiphume ndaya esihlalweni sam xa uloliwe edlula kwiiseti zemikhondo ngaphezulu kwe-100 yeekhilomitha ngeyure.

Kwakuphantse kwafana nokuwisa amanzi olwandle — imvakalelo yokuwa ngapha nangapha, imilenze evuthulukayo, ukuphuthaphutha ungafuni uncedo, isandi esikhulu samanzi agxobhekileyo azalisa iindlebe zakho. Kodwa kwakungekho manzi okanye isanti ethambileyo, endaweni yoko bekukho nje indawo engenanto kunye nenkunkuma-abanye abantu, izinto zabo, izitulo ezikhutshiwe ngamandla obundlobongela bengozi.

Ndandihlala ndicinga ukuba yayiyingoma encinci xa abantu abakumabonwakude bekhwaza igama elithi hayi njengoko kwenzeka into embi. Kodwa yile nto ndiyenzileyo, ngokungathi uloyiko olukhulu elizwini lam lunokwanela ukumisa umfutho omkhulu kaloliwe. Ndacinga ngomakhulu wam. Ndandicinga ukuba ndiza kufa. Emva koko ndacinga ukuba andinakufa, andinakuphinda ndibeke enye ilahleko kusapho lwam. Ndacinga ngokugoduka. Ndalinda imvakalelo yokutyunyuzwa, kodwa ayizanga.

Ndiyazi ukusuka kwimifanekiso ukuba imoto yam kaloliwe yayiwele yonke indlela kwicala lasekunene, emva kokuhamba umgama omde ukusuka kwiitreyini. Ndize kuphumla kwela cala lililo likaloliwe kodwa ngoku yayingumgangatho wayo, yonke indlela enqumle ialensi ukusuka apho bendihleli khona, kwaye ndicinga ukuba ilingana nemigca embalwa engaphambili. Kwakungasekho miqolo, izihlalo zazingumbumbulu kwibhokisi yentsimbi emnyama emnyama.

Ndizamile ukubamba umphefumlo. Ndiqwalasele imeko endikuyo. Ndangaphantsi kwesihlalo esigingqiziweyo, ndicinezelwe yinto ethile, andiqinisekanga ukuba yintoni. Kwakukho umfazi kanye emva kwam. Uye wabuza ukuba ndilungile na. Ndathi ewe, ndaziva iingalo nemilenze yam. Andiwuva umlenze wam, watsho kum. Ndicinga ukuba yaphukile. Yayibonakala yaphukile. Umqolo wam ubuhlungu kodwa bendihamba, bendiphefumla, bendingophi. Ndandilungile Abanye abantu abandingqongileyo bazama ukuqonda ukuba wonke umntu uphi. Umntu othile ubambe iinyawo zam wabuza ukuba zezakwabani. Mna, nditshilo. Ndilungile.

Abantu emotweni baqala ukugcuma, belila befuna uncedo. Umfazi nendoda kufutshane nam bobabini babebanjisiwe phantsi kwenkunkuma, kwaye umfazi wayekhwaza ngento ethile esemqolo, ecela umntu ukuba amkhuphe. Akukho mntu wayeyazi indlela yokumnceda. Indoda esecaleni kwakhe ichaze ukuba ayinakumkhulula, naye wanamathela, kodwa wabuza ukuba uyaphi. Wabuza ukuba angambamba na ngesandla.

Ndandijijile ndaphuma phantsi kwesitulo esasindibambile kwaye ndenza indlela yam ngononophelo, ndingcangcazela, ndijikeleze inkunkuma nabantu. Umfazi okhulelweyo utsale i-911, kunye nabanye abaliqela emotweni, kwaye wasebenzisa iGPS yakhe ukumisela ukuba siphi kanye kanye. Ndaqala ukukhangela indlela yokuphuma kuloliwe omnyama nomdaka, ukhanyiswe kuphela ziiselfowuni zabantu. Andibonanga kuphela kwemoto kaloliwe, ngoko ke iingcango yayingezizo. Abo kuthi bebekhululekile kwaye bekwazi ukuhamba nohlobo lokugxadazelela kancinci, bezama ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ephezulu kwaye yintoni ephantsi. Kwakukho indoda eyayilele embindini wenqwelo kaloliwe — oko kwakukade kuyisilingi yayo. Wayesaphila, kodwa intloko yayigcwele ligazi.

Ndikhumbule imililo endiyibonileyo isiza emva kwezinye iziphazamiso endikhe ndafunda ngazo kwaye ndaqala ukoyika ithemba lokuphila ngengozi kuphela ukuba ndikrwitshwe kukufa ngomsi. Akukho mntu wabonakala ekwazi ukufumana indlela yokuphuma. Okokugqibela ndiye ndaphawula ukuba ifestile enye ibijongeka yahlukile kunezinye zonke — ivulekile. Ifestile engxamisekileyo. Ndenza indlela yam ndaza ndaya kuyo kumhlaba ongalinganiyo, ndihamba kwicala eligobileyo lemoto kaloliwe. Ifestile yayiphezulu, kuye kwafuneka ndinyuke udonga kancinci ukukhupha intloko yam kuyo, kwaye ndabona umzila omnyama, onamatye apho sasiphumle khona.

Ndakhwaza ndicela uncedo. Indoda eyayinxibe iimpahla eyayisebenza ngethotshi yandiva yaza yajika. Uthe uncedo luyeza. Kungekudala ndeva ialam. Ndayibuza le ndoda malunga nokuphakama kwefestile, ndizama ukuqonda ukuba ndingatsiba na. Undixelele ubuncinci i-10 okanye i-12 yeenyawo. Kodwa abacimi-mlilo bayeza, utshilo. Baneladi. Ndagcina intloko yam efestileni kwaye ndandiva abantu ngaphandle bethetha ngokuzama ukuvala umbane, belumkisa abantu ukuba bahlale kude neengcingo. Khange ndibone msi okanye mlilo.

Ndikhwaze ndathi kukho umntu omithiyo emotweni. Kodwa wayekhathazeka ngakumbi ngabanye abantu. Omnye umgibeli wandixelela ukuba ndixelele abasebenzi ukuba kukho ukulimala entloko nasemqolo, ndenze njalo. Kungekudala kwafika umcimi-mlilo kwimoto yethu. Kwangoko wabona ukuba ufuna ileli kwaye waya kuyithatha.

Wabeka ileli phezulu kuloliwe, kanye ecaleni kwefestile, kwaye wakhwela kuyo. Inokuba bendikade ndisoyika ngeloxesha, kwaye bendicinga ukuba ndiza kuphuma lonke ixesha, kuba undicebisile kancinci. Ndifuna undimamele, utshilo. Kodwa iwindow yayiphezulu kakhulu ukuba ndingazikhupha kuyo-nditsho ne-adrenaline andinawo amandla omzimba aphezulu.

Madoda, umcimi-mlilo, owayehlala ngaphandle ecaleni kwefestile, uxelele iqela lamadoda amane awayeqokelelene emva kwam. Uza kunika eli nenekazi amandla. Sonke siza kukhuthazana ngaphandle kwalapha. Sonke sizakuphuma.

Emva koko andiphakamisa. Ndikwazile ukujija umlenze omnye kwileli, ndawugqibela ngomnye. Bendiphumile. Bendingcangcazela njengoko ndenza indlela yam esezantsi kwileli, abasebenzi bexakeka emva kwam ukuqinisekisa ukuba andiwa.

Umfazi okhulelweyo wayelandelayo. Ubuzolile. Enkosi. Ubumnandi kakhulu, ndimxelele xa singaphandle. Wayeluncedo kakhulu, kwaye ndandisele ndiqalisile ukuziva ngathi khange ndincede nakanye. Emva kwexesha ndiye ndathetha nomphathiswa owathi uza kuphuma olandelayo, nangona wabuza lo mlimi ukuba angahlala ngaphakathi athuthuzele abantu. Bafuna imoto icocwe ukuze bafike kwabonzakele kakhulu. Ndalaqaza ndabona enye imoto ephethe ipali ijikele kuyo. Andiqondi ukuba ndakhe ndayibona intsimbi edibeneyo yemoto yeklasi yokuqala, okanye ukuba ndiyenzile, khange ndiyiqonde ukuba yintoni.

Ndaphinda ndazibuza umbuzo: Inokwenzeka njani lento? Ndacinga isigqebelo esibuhlungu malunga nebali endilibhalileyo kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo malunga nenkxaso mali yoLawulo oluLungileyo loLoliwe, eyathi kamva i-NTSB yayiya kuthintela ingozi. Ndigobile ndazama ukuphefumla nzulu. Emva kokuba ngumfanekiso ogqibeleleyo wokuzola, umfazi okhulelweyo waqala ukukhala.

Khange ndikhale de kube semva kwexesha — emva kokuba sihambe kwindlela ezinqamlezayo, phezu kwamatye, kwindawo enemithi ethe qelele kwaye saya kwisitrato i-North Philly apho ababukeli babesele beqokelelene kwaye umhlali onobubele wayesele evelise ityala lamanzi Yabantu abagxadazela kwibloko yakhe. Andizange ndilile xa ndifowunela umama ndisebenzisa iselfowuni eyayiyindoda ezolileyo egama linguGene, kwaye ndandingalili xa ingaphenduli. Ilizwi lam lizolile kwaye linegunya kumyalezo. Yinto efana nale: Bekukhona ingozi. Ndilungile. Kubi kakhulu. Ndifuna umntu oza kundilanda. Ndilungile. Ndifuna ufowunele u-Andrew umxelele le nto. Andizange ndilile xa ndiboleka enye ifowuni kumfazi onobuhlobo owayesemotweni yam ndaza ndabeka umyeni wam emgceni, ndimamele ukungakholelwa kwakhe njengoko ndandichaza okwenzekileyo nokuba ndiphi ukuze eze kundithatha.

Iinyembezi zeza kuphela emva kweeyure, emva kokuba ibhasi ye-SEPTA indithathile nabanye — abahambahambayo bengxwelerhiwe — basiwa kwisibhedlele esikufuphi nedolophu. Bandihlalisa kwisitulo esinamavili kwaye babuza ukuba kubuhlungu phi (kwicala lasezantsi lasekunene lomqolo, umlenze wam wasekunene), ukuba ndibethile entloko (hayi?), Ngaba uxinzelelo lwegazi lwam luhlala luphezulu (ngamanye amaxesha). Bandiqhuba ngevili ukuya kwindawo ababegcina kuyo abantu abafuna i-x-ray.

Ndithe ndisalindile, ndacinga ngendlela endiphume ngayo kwinqwelo mafutha kaloliwe apho abanye abantu bebulawa okanye bonzakaliswa yimivumbo nje kunye nomqolo obuhlungu. Kutheni mna? Kufuneka kubekho isizathu. Kwakungase ndife. Ndiphantse ndafa. Ndacinga ngomakhulu wam kunye nombono wokuba angandigada, usile njengoko kuvakala, ndaza ndaqala ukukhala.

Ndathi xa ndifakwa kwigumbi lasesibhedlele, wafika umyeni wam wandinika umnxeba wakhe ukuze ndazise abantu ukuba ndilungile. Phambi kokuba bandikhuphele ngaphandle ii-ray. Ndandiqaqanjelwa kodwa ii-x-ray zabonisa ukuba andiphulanga kwanto, kwaye ndazibuza ukuba ndingathini ukuba nethamsanqa kangaka. Ndithe xa ndibuyela kwigumbi lasesibhedlele ndavula ithelevishini ndabukela imifanekiso yengozi endandimkile kuyo. U-chyron uthe abantu abahlanu bafile. Eli nani ekugqibeleni liza kuthi xhaxhe kwisibhozo. Ndaziva ndigula kwaoko kwaye ndinombulelo. Khange ndikwazi ukujika. Ndifuna ukuqonda ukuba kutheni. Ndifuna impendulo endaziyo ukuba andizukuyifumana.

Umcuphi waseFiladelphia weza kudliwano-ndlebe nam waza wabuza ukuba ngaba ndifuna ukubukela imifanekiso yengozi. Ndadumzela into malunga nokuba yingoma yeendaba njengoko wayitshintshela kwi-ESPN. Ndixelele umcuphi konke endikukhumbulayo ngengozi. Umyeni wam wandijoyina egumbini. Umcuphi wenza iziqhulo, ndazama ukuhleka. Umsebenzi wasesibhedlele weza kundikhulula. Iziqhulo zakhe zazingahlekisi. Samnika ulwazi lweinshurensi yethu. Ndaye ndaziqonda okokuqala ukuba bendigutyungelwe kukungcola kwaye ndizama ukuyihlamba ezingalweni zam, ebusweni, saza sagoduka saya eJersey City. Umhleli wezepolitiki oPhezulu: Jillian Jorgensen. (Ifoto: UDaniel Cole / Umbonisi waseNew York)

Ukusukela ngoko ndiye ndahamba-hamba ngeentsuku, ndichitha ixesha elininzi ngolwe-Lwesithathu emnxebeni neentatheli ezinjengam, ndisenza udliwanondlebe okanye ndizincamile. Impendulo yeendaba indifundise okuninzi malunga nokuba kunjani kwelinye icala lebali. Ndidiniwe kwaye ndidiniwe, ndiye ndalala emva kwemini kwaye ndaphoswa ngumnxeba omnandi ovela kuSodolophu waseBlasio. NgoLwesine nangoLwesihlanu bazise umakhulu wam, umngcwabo wakhe, kunye nemvakalelo engaqhelekanga yokuba ebe indudumo yakhe. Ndibalise ibali lengozi amaxesha amaninzi. Ndimamele abantu opine malunga nenjineli esenza kabini isantya. Ndizive ndinetyala ngokungasebenzi ngakumbi emotweni kaloliwe, ndaziva ndihlekisa ukuba abantu bebesenza impikiswano ngoluhlobo ngam, ndiziva ndisoyika ziindudumo ezinkulu okanye ndicinga ngokuthatha uloliwe ndiye emsebenzini. Ndandisoyika ukubhala le nto, ndinexhala lokuba umntu angayigxeka indlela endiphendule ngayo ngexesha nasemva kwengozi. Ndihlala ndibalisa amabali abanye kwaye ndisenza eli bali lam ukuba libalise alithandeki.

Nanini na xa ndinako, ndandifunda malunga nengozi. Ndijonge iifoto ngapha nangapha, ndizama ukuqonda into endiyikhumbulayo, ndizama ukukhomba ngqo ukuba ndiphi, ngokungathi izakundinceda ukuba ndiqonde. Ndilindile, ndilindile, intatheli ethile yezothutho okanye igosa likarhulumente lindixelele ukuba kutheni. Kutheni injineli ingakhawulezisa? Kutheni zazingekho iinkqubo zokhuseleko? Ngubani oza kuphosa ilitye kuloliwe, kwaye ingaba ibalulekile? Ingenzeka njani le nto? Kwaye ke umbuzo wadibana nalowo: Inokwenzeka njani le nto kum? Kutheni le nto ndikuloliwe kwaye kutheni ndibenethamsanqa lokuhamba ndisuke kuyo? Kutheni ndiphila nje?

Izolo, oololiwe baqale ukusebenza kwakhona kwezo ndlela. Kuphantse kwiveki kwaye umjikelo weendaba uqhubekile. I-NTSB kunye ne-FBI bayakwenza imisebenzi yabo kwaye mhlawumbi ngenye imini mna nabo bonke abo bakhwele kuloliwe siya kuba nempendulo malunga nendlela enokwenzeka ngayo, ingxelo ende ekufuneka siyifundile enokuthi mhlawumbi isifundise okuthile ngokhuseleko.

Kodwa ngenxa yeminye imibuzo emininzi, eyona isenza sihle iinyembezi okanye sikhawuleze ngenxa yokukhathazeka, ngekhe ndifumane impendulo endiyifunayo.