Eyona Ezopolitiko Iklabhu yabafazi yesiBini: Indawo eNtsha yokuDibanisa amaSilamsi ngamaSilamsi

Iklabhu yabafazi yesiBini: Indawo eNtsha yokuDibanisa amaSilamsi ngamaSilamsi

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Ikhasi lasekhaya leSibiniWife.com (SecondWife.com)



Xa uMbonisi engena kuqala, kwakukhangeleka ngathi yindawo esemgangathweni yokuthandana kwi-Intanethi: Iiprofayili zabasetyhini, nganye enegama lomsebenzisi elingachazanga igama, yafaka iphepha; sinokucoca ulindelo ngokweminyaka, indawo, inkangeleko kunye nomdla.

Kodwa le yayingeyiyo i-OkCupid, iMatch.com, okanye indawo yentengiso yokukrexeza uAshley Madison. Oku kwakunjalo YesibiniWife.com , indawo yokudibanisa eyenza ukuba amadoda amaSilamsi akwazi ukukhangela abafazi besibini, besithathu, okanye besine (umda wamaSilamsi). Kwiphepha le-flip, abasetyhini banokukhangela iiprofayili ze-SecondWife.com ukuba banethemba lokuba ngumfazi ongaphezulu.

U-Yusuf Khan, umphuhlisi wewebhu kunye nosomashishini, wasungula isithembu esise-UK kwiinyanga ezintathu ezidlulileyo. Isiza sele sinabasebenzisi abangaphezu kwe-3,000, utshilo.

ISecondWife.com ibingacwangciswanga, utshilo uMnu Khan nge-imeyile. Ekuqaleni, wayenethemba lokudala indawo yokutshatisa yendabuko, kodwa wafumanisa ukuba intengiso sele igcwele. Kwakukho iintlanzi ezininzi (uxolele ipun) ukukhuphisana nayo, utshilo.

Isitshixo sempumelelo kwi-Intanethi kwi-2014 kukufumana indawo, uMnu Khan uqhubeke. Ukwazi i-Islam kunye nesithembu ndabona ithuba ke ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndihambe nayo. Emva kokwenza uphando ndafumanisa ukuba kuncinci esinako ukukhuphisana.

IKoran iyavuma Amadoda atshate ukuya kuthi ga kubafazi abane, ukuba nje banokubaxhasa ngemali kwaye babaphathe bonke ngokulinganayo. Ngoku ka Amadoda anabafazi abaninzi UMlawuli Masood Khan, njengoko kuchaziwe kutshanje kwifayile ye- Umnxeba , ngaphantsi kwama-5 ekhulwini amaSilamsi enza isithembu.

Ingxelo ka-2008 ye-NPR yaqikelela ukuba ama-50,000 ukuya kuma-100,000 amaSilamsi aseMelika ayazibandakanya kwesi senzo, okanye phakathi kwe-3.7 kunye ne-7.4 yepesenti esekwe kuqikelelo lwabemi kwiKholeji yaseTrinity.

Izimvo ngesithembu ziyahluka mpela kwilizwe lamaSilamsi, a Uphando lwe-2013 Pew Research lufunyenwe , kunye namaSilamsi akwi-Sub-Saharan Africa yeyona nto yamkelwe ngokubanzi. Ngaphandle kwe-Afrika engezantsi kweSahara, nangona kunjalo, izimo zengqondo zahlukile. Kuphela ziipesenti ezi-4 zamaSilamsi aseBosnia athanda isithembu.

[Isithembu] asiqhelekanga kwilizwe lamaSilamsi, uJenny B. White, unjingalwazi wase-Boston University Anthropology nojolise kwinkolo yamaSilamsi. Umjongi . Nangona kunjalo, ekubeni kuvunyelwe, abantu basebenzise eli thuba-ngakumbi ukuba bazizityebi. E-Tanzania-apho la foto yathathwa-ama-63 eepesenti amaSilamsi aziphethe kakuhle nesithembu. (Getty)








Umnumzana uKhan unethemba lokuba abathengi bakhe bacinga ixesha elide kwaye kunzima nokuba bayayilandela na imithetho yeKoranic, nangona indawo yakhe ingenandlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba ukubhalisa okutsha, ngamaSilamsi.

Kodwa lumkiswa: kukho inkqubo ekhoyo yokuthintela ukusetyenziswa gwenxa. Indawo iyakususa naziphi iiprofayili ezinemiyalezo yokuhlukumeza okanye yokuphazamisa, kwaye ikwakhuthaza abasebenzisi ukuba baxele isimilo esikrokrisayo.

Sikwabiza ipremiyamu ephezulu ngenkonzo yethu njengesithintelo sokusetyenziswa gwenxa, uqhubeke, esithi imali eyi- $ 15 ukuya kwi-30 yeedola (yamadoda kuphela; yonke imihla ubusuku bamanenekazi kwiSecondWife.com) Ubhalisile, wachaza, emva koko awunakukwazi ukuhlawula umfazi wesibini!

Ke kwenzeka ntoni, i Umjongi uyazibuza, xa umsebenzisi weSibiniWife efumana umdlalo okanye ezimbini?

Amalungu angancokola ixesha elide afuna ngaphezulu kwenkqubo yemiyalezo yabucala yesayithi, okoko nje iincoko zingathathi umkhombandlela ongafanelekanga wobuSilamsi, utshilo uMnu.

Ukuba isibini sithatha isigqibo sokuba ziyahambelana, zinokunika omnye nomnye ukufikelela kwiifoto zabo, ezigcinwe ngasese kungenjalo.

Amalungu ababhinqileyo banokukhetha ukumema umntu oza kubagcina kwiingxoxo zabo abathembele ukuba babeke iliso kunxibelelwano, wongeze watsho uKhan.

Ekugqibeleni, uMnu. Khan uthe, izibini zingakhetha ukudibana kwindawo efanelekileyo [oko] kuhambelana nezikhokelo zamaSilamsi.

Mhlawumbi kwakuyindibaniselwano engaqhelekanga yesiko lenkolo kunye netekhnoloji yale mihla, kodwa sakufumanisa kunzima ukucinga inyambalala yamadoda enkolo amaSilamsi abhalisa i-Intanethi ukubanceda bafumane abafazi besibini. Oko kukuthi, de sathumela nge-imeyile kunye nomsebenzisi wokwenyani weSibini- indoda yaseQatari eyacela ukuhlala ingaziwa.

Ndibhalisile kule webhusayithi yomfazi wesibini kwithuba elidlulileyo ngenxa yokufuna ukwazi, le ndoda, eyaziswa kuthi nguMnu Khan, yaxelela Umjongi . Njengabafazi abathathu, khange aqalise ukusebenzisa isiza, kodwa wathi angakhangela owesine kwixesha elizayo.

Ngokunikwa kwimbali yakhe yokufumana abafazi, le ndoda ithe inqwenela ukuba umfazi wesibini ebekhona ngaphambili.

Ndichithe imali yam eninzi ndikhangela umfazi wesibini. Kwafuneka ndihambe kakhulu, watsho. Le yinkqubo ebiza kakhulu. Apha ndihlala khona abantu abayamkeli le ngcinga kakhulu. Ke kuye kwafuneka [ndi] jonge ngaphandle kwelizwe.

Nangona engakhange asebenzise iakhawunti yakhe ukuqala ukuthandana nenkosikazi yenombolo yesine, ndinoluvo olomeleleyo lokuba [isiza] silungile, yatsho le ndoda. Ngokwenyani ukuba [bendisazi] ngayo, ngokuqinisekileyo ngeyindigcinele isixa semali esilungileyo.

Umsebenzisi ongaziwayo weSibiniWife uchaze indlela yakhe yokuba nabafazi abaninzi.

Abasetyhini badalelwe kwindalo yabo ukuba balwele indoda, ukuba balwele ukumzuza, utshilo. Ngeli xesha kuphuma okusemandleni akhe. Kodwa xa kungekho mntu uza kulwa naye, uyonqena nawe.

Uyanyanzelisa, nangona kunjalo, ukuba [isithembu] sithandwa kakhulu ngabafazi kunamadoda.

Uninzi lwamadoda lukhohlisa abafazi babo, watsho. Ndiyabheja ukuba indoda inokuba mnandi emfazini wayo xa inentombi / umfazi kunaleyo ingenayo. Kungenxa yokuba baziva benetyala. Ngaloo ndlela baba mnandi kubafazi babo.

Uninzi lwabantu baseNtshona banokukufumanisa kunzima ukuqonda ukuba kutheni nawuphina umntu obhinqileyo enokuzivolontiya ukuba abe ngumfazi wesibini, wesithathu okanye wesine wendoda. Kwaye okwangoku, njengoko sisebenzisa iSecondWife.com, bekungekho ukukhanyela ukuba uninzi lwabasetyhini kumazwe kwihlabathi liphela-kubandakanya i-US-babesete iiakhawunti.

Omnye umfazi, u-Tania88 oneminyaka eyi-26 wase-U.K, wathi ufuna ukuba ngumfazi wesibini kuba wayezimele. Omnye uBrit oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala wathi unomdla wokuba ngumhlobo nenkosikazi yakhe, kunye nokuba abantwana babo badlale kunye.

Sibuze uNkosazana White weDyunivesithi yaseBoston ukuba kutheni umfazi enokuba nomdla wokutshata indoda esele inomfazi-okanye abambalwa. Ucebise ngezizathu ezininzi ezinokubakho.

Kwindawo zasemaphandleni, UNks.White, isheikh yesizwe ingathatha abafazi abaninzi ukuphatha uxanduva lwakhe njengombuki zindwendwe kwizalamane nabakhenkethi.

Okukhona amalungu osapho kufuneka angene kwaye ancede, kokukhona kungcono, utshilo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, abasetyhini banokulufumana uncedo olongezelelekileyo.

Uye wathi edolophini, kwezinye iimeko umfazi omnye ukhathalela indlu nabantwana, eshiya omnye ekhululekile ukuba afumane imfundo okanye asebenze njengengcali.

Ngamanye amaxesha abafazi abahluphekileyo bakhetha ukuba babe ngumfazi wesibini okanye wesithathu kuba ngekhe bafumane ikhazi lokuba ngumfazi wokuqala.

Umbono ngowokuba abasetyhini kunye nabantwana abavela kule manyano bakhuselekile bonke, bakhathalelwe kakuhle kwaye bakumgca osemthethweni wokuzalwa kunye nelifa, utshilo uNkskz.

Nangona oko kufanelekile, ngamanye amaxesha izinto zijika ngokwahlukileyo. Amanye amadoda athatha abafazi abancinci njengabafazi besibini kwaye bagqibela ngokungahoyi okanye ukuqhawula umtshato nabafazi babo abadala, bebashiya nabantwana babo bengenanto, UNks White ucacisile.

Kukwakho neemeko ezoyikisayo kwimimandla engenamthetho, edlakazwe yimfazwe, apho amantombazana anokubanjwa okanye athengiswe ngabazali babo njengabafazi besibini okanye besithathu. Kwezo meko, U-Nks White uthe, igama elithi 'umfazi' lifihla inyani engaphezulu yokuthenga nokuthengisa abasetyhini kunye namantombazana ngesondo, endaweni yenjongo yoqobo lomthetho wamaSilamsi ovumela isithembu.

Ubuye walumkisa ukuba kumazwe apho isithembu singekho semthethweni-njengeTurkey, indawo yakhe yobuchwephesha-amadoda 'atshata' abafazi besibini ngezithethe zamaSilamsi eneneni akatshatanga ngokusemthethweni, ke abo bafazi nabantwana babo abanamalungelo asemthethweni.

Kodwa uMnu. Khan, uMdali weSibiniWife, ugcina ukuba iwebhusayithi yakhe, enyanisweni, ilungile kubafazi.

Abafazi abakwi-SecondWife.com bakhona kuba bakhethe ukuba njalo, utshilo.

Umnumzana uKhan wade wathi angazingca ngokuzibiza ngokuba ngumfazi: Kukho ingcamango ephosakeleyo yokuba abafazi base-Islam bacinezelwe [xa] enyanisweni, wathi, bakhuselekile.

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