Ngaba uziva ngathi awuzange ubaluleke kuqala kwiqabane lakho?UJakob Owens / Unsplash Ucinga ngaye kuphela. Besihleli kunye iinyanga ezilithoba kwaye ngequbuliso uthathe isigqibo sokubuyela eMelika ukuze 'afumane ubomi bakhe kunye'. Kwakukho hayi ingxoxo malunga noku— hayi incoko malunga nolwalathiso lobudlelwane bethu kunye hayi amanyathelo alandelayo. U-unilaterally wenza isigqibo sokushiya, utshilo umthengi omncinci wento engama-30 wam ohlala phesheya.
Ke ibingeyiyo eyothethathethwano? Ndiyabuza.
Hayi, kwakungekho. Undixelele nje ukuba uyahamba ngeentsuku ezingama-30 ngenxa yokuba wophukile kwaye kufuneka afumane imali kunye nomsebenzi, waphendula.
Uye wahlangabezana njani nayo? Ndiyabuza.
Ndingenza ntoni? Khange ndikwazi ukumnqanda. Ndimyekile nje, utsho.
Ke ubudlelwane buphelile? Ndiyabuza.
Hayi , hayi ngaphezulu. Ndilinde nje yena ukuba alungise imeko yakhe yomsebenzi kunye nemali. Uya kubuya. Siyathandana kwaye sinxibelelana yonke imihla, ubhengeza.
Kudala ulindile ukuba ayidibanise? Ndiyabuza.
Sele phantse unyaka kwaye ngelishwa kwaye andikaboni nto ingako, utshilo.
Uzimisele ukumlinda ixesha elingakanani? Ndiyabuza.
Logama kuthatha, ndiyacinga? Kunene? Uyaphendula.
Ukuba ulindele umntu obeka phambili izinto zakhe ngokwakho, uya kuthi soze ube yinto ephambili kubo.
Kutheni umlindile? Ndiyabuza.
Ndiyamthanda. Ndifuna ukuba naye kwaye ndiyazi ukuba uyandithanda, utsho. Ndivele ndicaphuke xa endixelela ukuba uyasivavanya.
Ngaba uvavanya ubudlelwane? Ndiyabuza.
Ewe. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiyakhathazeka kuba ndingafezekisi iimfuno zam kwaye xa ndithetha, uyacaphuka kwaye azikhusele kwaye azame ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane esithi, andinakuba sithandwa samntu ngoku, kufuneka ndisebenze kum kunye iiprojekthi zomsebenzi ngoku.
Kwaye oko akonelanga ukuba ungahlukana naye? Ndiyabuza.
Hayi, kutheni ndingafuna ukuyiphelisa naye? Ndifuna nje ukuba izinto zibe yile ndlela zazinjalo kwaye indlela endazi ngayo ukuba zinokubakho kwakhona, utshilo.
Ukwamkela iimvuthu ngekhe kukunike isonka esipheleleyo, kwaye kungakhokeleli kwindawo yokubhaka iiyure ezingama-24.
Ufumana oko ukwamkelayo kwaye kuphela okwamkelayo ebomini. Ke ukuba into oyamkelayo ayisebenzi kuwe, ungafuna ukwenza olunye ukhetho, ndiyamxelela. Ukuba emva phantse konyaka ungaboni mpucuko ibalulekileyo kwimeko yakhe okanye kubume bobudlelwane, isenokuba lixesha lokukhetha kwakhona, ndiyamxelela.
Ngapha koko, ungagcina ixesha elingakanani? Uyamqumbela yonke imihla ngokungazifezekisi iimfuno zakho? Ngaba lityala lakhe ukungazifezekisi iimfuno zakho okanye lityala lakho ukulinda yena ukuba ahlangane nazo? Ndiyabuza.
Akukho mntu unetyala. Ndifuna ukumxhasa. Ndifuna ukwenza into elungileyo ngaye, utsho.
Ukubeka phambili abanye kubudlelwane abukwenzi umntu ongcono, kukwenza i-doormat.
Uthini ngawe? Ingaba yin ' Ndisenza kakuhle ngawe ' ibonakala njenge? Ngendlela, yintoni eyenza ukuba ucinge ukuba ukumthanda kakhulu kunye nokuba nomonde kakhulu kuye yinto elungileyo yokwenza apha? Eso ayisosifundo ujongene naso. Isifundo apha kukuba ufunde ukuzithanda ngokwaneleyo ukuba ubuze okungcono kwaye ukuhamba ukuba akanakunika, Ndiyamxelela.
Ukuthanda kakhulu umntu akufumani Kaninzi uthando; ikwenza uhambe phambili.
Abantu bathatha oko bakufumanayo. Ke ungahlala umnika uthando olungenamiqathango, unyamezelo, inkxaso, ubulumko kunye nezixhobo zemali, kodwa ayizukuqinisekisa ukuba uyakufumana ubudlelwane obungcono okanye obuzinikele ngakumbi kuye, ndiyamxelela. Iqinisekisa nje ukuba uyakuyithatha kuba iyafumaneka-ngubani ngekhe? Emva koko umbuzo uhlala-ngaba yakhe impazamo ngokuthatha kunye nokubaleka okanye kunjalo eyakho impazamo yokuwunikela?
Ukuba awufuni abantu bakunyathele, thabatha i-doormat yakho ngaphambili.
Wonke umntu ufuna ukubeka umlinganiso owamkelekileyo wabantu, kodwa inyani yemeko kukuba xa ubeka umethi owamkelekileyo, abantu baya kuhamba bengakhathali kuyo yonke indawo. Kodwa ukuba uyayisusa kwinyathelo lakho langaphambili, akukho mntu uya kuphoswa sisenzo sokubuk 'iindwendwe. Ungayenza ngezinye iindlela.
Isifundo apha kukuba uzithande, uzixabise kwaye ungazivumeli ukuba uhambe phambili, ndiyaphinda.
Awusoze umthande umntu ngokwaneleyo ukuba enze ukungabikho kothando lwakho ozithandayo.
Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuzithanda Kaninzi ngaphezu kokuba umthanda. Kulula kakhulu ukuthanda omnye umntu emva koko ke kukuzithanda, kodwa ukwenza njalo kunjalo hayi ndiza kukuzisela ubudlelwane obungcono nale ndoda. Ukufunda ukuthanda ngokwakho Ndiya, ndimxelele.
Zithande njengabantu abazithandayo.
AbakwaNarcissist bazibeka phambili ngokwabo kunye nee ajenda zabo. Benza izigqibo ngokuhambelana neyona nto ibasebenzelayo. Abenzi amaqabane amahle kubudlelwane kodwa basifundisa eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuhlakulela olona lwalamano-lusifundisa ngalo ukuzithanda, ukuzixabisa nokuzenzela ixabiso . Babona ubungangamsha babo ehlabathini kwaye bayihlonipha bayayixhasa kwaye abamkeli ngaphantsi koko bazi ukuba kufanelekile.
Ukuba i-narcissists ayixhamli kubudlelwane, kunjalo ngaphandle yobudlelwane.
Ayisiyiyo kuphela into yokuba ii-narcissist zizithande kwaye zibeke phambili ngokwazo, zibeka imida ecacileyo yento eziyakwamkela okanye ezingayi kuyamkela kubudlelwane. Kuba bazibeka kwinqanaba eliphezulu kangaka, ekuphela kwesikhokelo sabo kwimantra onokundenzela sona?
Zikuxelela ntoni ezi mfundiso zivela kwi-narcissist ngokuzithanda kwakho nokuba kulwalamano nomnye umntu? Ndiyabuza.
Undixelela ukuba ungumbhali-nkosi! Kodwa kutheni eza kuphumelela apha?! Uhlala ephumelela, utshilo.
Akukho mntu uphumeleleyo apha. Kodwa ukuba uyaqhubeka nokunika amandla akho kuye, uya kuba ulahlekile, ndiyamazisa.
Ubudlelwane bobuhlakani, hayi ubuqu bodwa.
Awunakutsibela ngobuhlobo kubuhlobo kunye ne-narcissist usazi ukuba awuyi kufumana iimfuno zakho, ke kutheni uhlala nomntu omaziyo ukuba akamiselwanga ukukuhlangabeza ? Yinkcitha xesha lakho.
Thatha izifundo zokuzithanda kwi-narcissist kwaye uphume endleleni ngaphambi kokuba babaleke ngaphezulu kwakho.
Akukho ngqondo ekukhathazekeni nomntu ongakwaziyo ukukunika into oyifunayo. Qaphela ukuba awukwazi ukubatshintsha abantu, ungatshintsha kuphela inqanaba obavumela bakuchaphazele.
Yeka ukulindela ukuba abantu bakunike le nto ungaziniki yona.
Ayingomsebenzi wabo. AbakwaNarcissist banokwenza amaqabane amabi, kodwa ngenxa yokuba bayazithanda kwaye bayazihlonipha, bayatsala abantu abaza kubathanda kwaye babahlonele.
Ungasifundisa ntoni umvumisi wothando? Banokusifundisa elona nyathelo libalulekileyo lothando-indlela yokuzithanda kuqala. Kuba ukuba awuzithandi, uza kuphinda umthande njani omnye umntu?
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Imfihlelo yokuphumelela kwiSikolo soShishino ayifundisi
Kutheni eyona mpazamo yakho inkulu Inokuba Yeyona nto ibalaseleyo yakha yenzeka kuwe
