Amadoda amade emhlabeni: Utata kunye noonyana ababini bathatha iMt. I-Kilimanjaro-kwaye uzame ukungafi

Kubo bonke ubomi bam, bendimane ndijonga utata ndizibuze ukuba ingaba siyazalana na. Sabelana ngombala ofanayo weenwele kwaye
ubume bethambo, kodwa umdla wethu awufane uqhubeke. Uyakonwabela ukukhempisha, ukuhamba ngephenyane nokuba nemadevu, ngelixa ndikhetha iNetflix, ukuhambisa ukutya kunye nokuhlengahlengisa iikhabhathi nangona iapps ithi thatha indlela engaphantsi.Rhoqo ngonyaka ngosuku lokuzalwa kwam, utata wam undinika incwadi malunga nokuhlola intlango, athi emva koko aboleke aze achithe usuku lonke efunda. Ebesoloko erhuqa umntakwethu kunye nam kunye naye kwii-adventures ezahlukeneyo ukuya kwizinto ukusukela oko sabadala ngokwaneleyo ukuba, sibulawe kukuvezwa. Nangona kusenokwenzeka ukuba sasingenalo ihlombe okanye izakhono zokuphila kolu lonwabo, saqonda ukuba ubukho bethu bumzisela ulonwabo. Kananjalo, inguye ohlawule amatyala eselfowuni, ke kuye kwanyanzeleka ukuba siyenze le nto ayithethileyo.

Kwakungenxa yesidingo sokukhubazeka kwenkonzo yeselula eyathi, nge-24 kaDisemba ngo-2007, ndemka kwisiXeko saseNew York (ukubalwa kwe-tsetse fly: zero) ndaza ndema emazantsi eNtaba yeKilimilim (inani le-tsetse fly count: intabalala). INtaba iKilimanjaro yintaba ende ngokude kakhulu — yenye yezona zide emhlabeni. Kuthatha iintsuku ezintandathu zizonke ukuphakama nokuhla kwayo, kwaye kufuneka ubuncinci izikhokelo ezibini zokukunceda apha endleleni. Ezi zikhokelo, ekuphoxekeni kukabawo, ziyafunwa ngumthetho. Ukuba wayenendlela yakhe, ngesinyuke intaba ndedwa, ngaphandle kwemephu, emva koko saqonda indlela yokuhamba ngephenyane.

Isikhokelo sethu esiyintloko yayiyindoda emfutshane egama linguSamson, kwaye isikhokelo sethu sesibini yayiyindoda engeyiyo-emfutshane ebizwa ngento endiyilibalisileyo. Endaweni yokuba bathi sawubona, basinika isitya sesuphu kwaye basilumkisa ukuba xa singaseli ulwelo lwaneleyo, intaba iyakusityumza. Sivalelise okokugqibela kumbane saza sahamba.

***

IMount Kilimanjaro ibisoloko iyi-Everest katata wam. Iphupha lakhe yayikukuba la madoda amathathu aseKocher ngenye imini ayoyise. Ngalo lonke ixesha ephakamisa uhambo, oluhlala lukhona, uyakongeza kwinto emnandi yokuba, ngexesha lonyaka esiya ngalo, akukho mntu uzakube enyuka i-Everest. Ke ukuba sayenza phezulu, okomzuzwana nje, singangoyena mntu mde emhlabeni. Mna nomntakwethu singaphendula ngale nto yokuloba ngokungakhathaliyo, ngaba singabalinganiswa kwi-sitcom ye-multicamera, yintoni enokuba yinto yethu yokubamba: Daaaaaaaad, uyacaphukisa.

Sasicinga ngokukhwela i-Kilimanjaro ngendlela enye esasicinga ngayo ngokutyhalwa ngu-Nicole Kidman. Ewe ndicinga ukuba unakho kwenzeke, kodwa mhlawumbi hayi kuthi, okanye nabani na esimaziyo.

Usuku lokuqala lwalumnandi ngokwaneleyo. Ukunyuka akuzange kube nzima kakhulu, imozulu ibintle, kwaye kwangethuba ndaqonda ukuba ndiyakwazi ukuphendula imibuzo emininzi endibuzwa ngabantu ngokucaphula amazwi engoma yeToto ethi Africa. Akusoloko kunethuba lokwenza oku, ngenxa yoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndisebenzise kakhulu. Ngo-2 emva kwemini, abanye abantu abane kwiqela lethu babe sele beyekile ukudibana nam, benethemba lokundinqanda ekubeni ndiphinde into endiceba ukuyisikelela.

Phambi kwesidlo sakusasa ngosuku lwesibini, sadibana nomnye umntu enyuka intaba, umfazi ophakathi waseDatshi onobuso oburhabaxa. Ndambuza ukuba uqhuba njani na kukufuna kwakhe amawa kaMordor. Ibunzi lakhe lahlala livulekile. Abakhokeli bethu basinike isidlo sakusasa kwaye bathi, Namhlanje, siza kube sihamba emafini. Nangona ndiweva onke amagama esi sivakalisi, ndikhethe ukunganxibi naziphi na izixhobo zemvula, kuba kuyacaca ukuba bendisebenza phantsi kwenkolelo yokuba amafu enziwe ngeelekese zomqhaphu kunye neminqweno. Kwinqanaba lokumanzi, usuku lwesibini lubekwe kwindawo ethile phakathi kukaKristu, ndimanzi ndimanzi! kwaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ndinexhala lokuba singamcaphukisa ngokungazi uthixo wemvula endala. Iyure in, kanye emva kokuba i-hypothermia igqibile intetho yayo encinci yentshayelelo kunye nenkqubo yokujikeleza kwegazi, kuye kwafuneka ndisebenzise imela ukusika iimpahla ezifunxa umzimba wam ongcangcazelayo ndiphinde ndizibuyisele ngesiphathamandla sikabawo sokugcina amanzi. Kanye njengokuba bendiqala ukuphinda ndibuyise imvakalelo yokuthinta, kanye embindini wokuthetha ngokuvakalayo, Ahh, ngoku kungcono, yayiyeyona nto yaqala urhudo. Rhoqo emva kwemizuzu engama-20, ndiye ndizithethelele ngokungabinamdla ngangokunokwenzeka, ndiyokufumana ilitye elikufutshane, ndihlale phantsi emva kwalo kwaye, kwimvula enethayo, ndinyamezele into echazwe ngokuchanekileyo njengokukhupha amadlozi ngaphandle kokuhamba kwamathumbu. Yayingumhla wesibini lowo. Yayingumhla weKrismesi lowo.

Utata wam, ngeli xesha, wayenothando rhoqo kwisibini sohambo. Ngamathuba ngamathuba, wayesiya kum nomninawa wakhe asinike intamo katata wakhe odumileyo.

Nicinga ntoni, bafo? Kulungile, akunjalo ?!

Ndixhathise umnqweno wokuthi, Tata, ndikwazile amashumi amabini eminyaka ngoku, kwaye le ntamo ifinya ayikaze ive kamnandi, endaweni yoko ithi ngobuchule obuninzi, Daaaaaaaad, uyacaphukisa.

*** Ngokukrakra, iKilimanjaro yintaba ende kakhulu.

Ukusukela oko uhambo oluya e-Kilimanjaro lwaba yinto yokwenyani, utata wam wayendilumkisile malunga neziphumo zokuphakama okuphezulu emzimbeni. Njengoko unyukela phezulu entabeni, kuya kusiba nzima ngakumbi emzimbeni wakho ukufumana ioksijini kwingqondo yakho. Oku kungakhokelela kwiimpawu ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, kubandakanya ukukhanya kwentloko, ukulala, ukuphefumla kancinci kunye ukuphakama okumangalisayo kweemvakalelo zakho. Ndandiqhelene noku, ndachitha iminyaka eliqela kumgangatho wesithandathu e-Williamsburg. Nangona kunjalo, ndilibale kwaphela ngayo ngomhla wesithathu, xa ndavuka ndizele kukuqiniseka okupheleleyo ukuba utata wayethandana nomfazi owoyikekayo waseDatshi.

Awuyiyo isiqingatha somfazi umama wam, ndacinga ngelixa ndicaphuka ngumsindo. Andizange ndikholelwe ukuba ngokungakhathali wayeyigcwalisa njani ibhotile yakhe yamanzi, i-15 yeenyawo kude, ngelixa umtshato wabazali bam uqhawuka. Ndafunga ukuwuphelisa lo mcimbi nangayiphi na indlela. Ndichithe lonke usuku ndizifaka kwincoko phakathi komfazi ongumDatshi notata, emva koko ndakhwaza nditshintsha ngesihloko kumama. Wow, inqaku elihle. Umama naye wenza amanqaku amahle. Ulinenekazi elihle, kwaye sihlala sonke endlwini. Kunene, Utata ? Olu hlobo lwesigqeba esingenamzamo lwaludla ngokubuliswa ngenkangeleko yokudideka, ilandelwe sisindululo sokuba ndisele ngaphezulu.

***

Usuku lwesine yayilusuku lwengqungquthela. Nantsi indlela esebenza ngayo: Okokuqala, uyavuka kwaye utyibilize isuphu yakho yakusasa. Okulandelayo, wenza uhlolo olupheleleyo lwentente kayihlo ukuqinisekisa ukuba isini esingcolileyo saseDatshi asenzekanga apho kubusuku obudlulileyo. Emva koko, kukunyuka okufutshane kweeyure ezintathu ukuya kwisiseko sengqungquthela. Esinye isitya sesuphu sikulindile apho, ekufuneka usitye nokuba ungangxola kangakanani ukuba isuphu iyaqala ukungcamla njengekhwapha lomhlaba. Ezinzulwini zobusuku, ebumnyameni obumnyama, ukunyuka kwengqungquthela kuyaqala. Kuyimfuneko ukuba uhambe ebusuku, kuba kulapho igrabile iqina khona, yenza kube lula ukunyuka. Ingqungquthela yeyona ndawo inzima kakhulu kule ntaba, kwaye ipesenti elungileyo yabantu iphela kufuneka ibuye umva. Sasilunyukisiwe malunga neengozi zayo kakhulu kuyo yonke le ntaba, nangona kunjalo, ukuba xa sasiqala kwaye saqonda ukuba akufuneki silwe neengelosi xa usenyuka, mna nomntakwethu asikufumananga kunzima kakhulu.

Utata wam wayelibali elahlukileyo.

Malunga nesiqingatha sethambeka, waqala ukuthoba isantya. Ukucothisa isantya kuyeka ngokukhawuleza, kwaye xa ebuzwa ukuba ulungile, uza kuphendula ngemizuzwana engama-20 yokuthula elandelwe ngumsebenzi endiwenzileyo… ndicinga njalo. (Ingcebiso kubo bonke abazali phaya: Ukuba ufuna ukoyikisa abantwana bakho, phendula ngale ndlela kuwo nawuphi na umbuzo.) Ekugqibeleni, wawa kude emva kwethu, kwaye isikhokelo sesibini-esingethiwa nguSamson-saxhapha naye.

Xa ukwi-3 yezigidi zeenyawo ngaphezulu komphakamo wolwandle, kuhlala kuthe cwaka, kwaye ngaphandle kokukhula komgama phakathi kwethu, bendisakuva ngokucacileyo ukuphefumla kukabawo. Yayikhwaza, isetyenzisiwe kwaye i-raspy, kwaye yakhawuleza yarhola yonke ingcinga entlokweni yam ngaphandle kweyodwa: Utata wam uza kufa . Ngoku, bendineenguqulelo ezahlukeneyo zoloyiko amaxesha amaninzi ukusukela xa ndandineminyaka emi-3: xa abazali bam befika kade bevela kwitheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa, xa ndibiza iiselfowuni kwaye zaya ngqo kwi-voicemail kwaye lihle kakhulu nangaliphi na ixesha t uzifumane kwiWalmart. Oku kwahlukile, nangona kunjalo. Ngeli xesha, kwabakho ubungqina bokwenyani bokuxhasa iparanoa yam. Ngokukhawuleza, kwabakho imibuzo efuna iimpendulo.

Uza kwenza njani umntakwethu omncinci?

Ndizomxelela njani umama?

Siwufumana njani umzimba wakhe phantsi kwentaba?

What if uyafa andikhali?

Ndizothini emngcwabeni wakhe? Umbhali kunye noyise, kude kakhulu nemibhobho yangaphakathi.

Ukuthatha isigqibo sokungachithi naliphi na ixesha, ndiye ndaqala ukucacisa ukubongwa kwakhe. Ndacinga ukuba ndizovula ngesiqhulo-akukho nto inganambithekiyo, nje into elula kwaye ekhawulezayo ukwaphula uxinzelelo. Ndingathanda ukutshintsha ukusuka kuloo nto ndiye kwi-anecdote enomtsalane, omnye ndimpeyinte njengomphefumlo wamaqhawe kodwa onenkathalo. Emva kwebali, ndingafumana indlela yokukhankanya impumelelo yam eyahlukeneyo, ukuze ndibonise umdla kwintombazana entle eneenwele ezimdaka ngebala ezi-wavy endicinga ukuba zihleli kufutshane neqonga. (Bendi ngaqinisekanga ukuba ngubani-intombi yomngcwabi, ndiyacinga. Ndiyathemba ukuba alukho uhlobo lwesihlobo segazi esikude.) Mhlawumbi phakathi, ndiza kuyikrazula intetho yam endiyilungisileyo, ndiphume eqongeni ndenze into ebuthathaka xa ndihamba kwisihlwele samawaka, izandla zabo zolulwe kumzamo wokuchukumisa umphetho weengubo zam. Ngendinxibe iingubo.

Kanye xa ndizinze kweyona ndlela isebenzayo yokutshisa isidumbu sakhe esidadayo, safika encotsheni yentaba. Ewe, uninzi lwethu lwalunalo. Kwakungekho mqondiso katata. Silinde ebumnyameni yena. Kwadlula imizuzu eli-15 ebandayo. USamson wacebisa ukuba sihambe; kwakungakhuselekanga ukuhlala kule ndawo iphakamileyo ixesha elide.

***

Ukusukela oko utata wasitsalela entlango okokuqala, i-adventure nganye yayihlala iphela ngokufanayo: kunye nefoto yethu sobathathu, ngengalo, sincumile kwaye simi ngoloyiso kwindlela ethile yokuhamba intaba okanye inkampu yomhlaba. Nokuba ebengathandabuzi kangakanani mna nomninawa wam ukuba siye kolu hambo lwangaphandle, besisoloko sonwabile ukufota. Kuba kungenjalo, ibiyintoni injongo? Utata wam ebefanele ukuba enze njani ukuba ezinye iintsapho zibe nomona ngaphandle kobungqina be-daguerreotypical? Ngokukhawuleza, sasisengozini yokubuyela ekhaya singenanto ngaphandle kweenkumbulo zethu.

Ndizokumthatha, ndatsho kwaye ndakhawuleza ndaqala phantsi ukwehla intaba ngaphambi kokuba uSamson aqhankqalaze. Ndifumene utata wam emva kwemizuzu eli-10 ekhangeleka emdala kunangaphambili. Amazinyo akhe ayeqiniswe, kwaye inyathelo ngalinye lalibonakala lifuna umzamo weHerculean. Ndambona endibona. Ndambona eginya zonke iintlungu noncumo. Uthatha ixesha lakho elimnandi, ndaqhula. Wanikezela ngokuhleka kancinci kwaye waqala ukuthetha kodwa wabonakala ngathi uthathe isigqibo sokuba amandla akhe anokuwasebenzisa ngcono ukugcina iinyawo zihamba. Sahamba ecaleni ngecala kuthe cwaka. Ekugqibeleni, sayibona iflegi ityalwe kweyona ndawo iphakamileyo yentaba kwaye umntakwethu ehleli ezantsi kwayo. Utata uye wema waphumla umzuzwana. Uye wolula isandla, ebuthathaka endincinda intamo. Ndifuna nina bantu nazi ukuba ndi-kakhulu ilizwi lakhe laqala ukuqhekeka-ndiyazingca ngani. Uye waphunga waqala phantsi elila. Umqala wam waqala ukuba buhlungu. Okubi. Ndiyazi ukuba xa ndizama ukuthetha into, izakuphuma ngathi uJohn Boehner uthetha nge-4 kaJulayi. Ndiye ndathula ke.

Ilanga laqala ukuphuma-ukukhanya okufanelekileyo kwifoto. Umfanekiso wamadoda amathathu amade eMhlabeni, ngamnye kubo ezama nzima ukuba angakhali.

***

Lo mzuzu we-Kodak walandelwa kwangoko nguSamson kunye no-Not-Samson bekhwaza ukuba kufuneka sifike kwindawo ephantsi. Ngokukhawuleza sehla, kodwa xa singena kwinkampu yentlanganiso, utata wawa phantsi waqalisa ukuzibamba esifubeni ngenxa yeentlungu. Izikhokelo zithathe malunga nemizuzu emihlanu zingenzi nto ngaphandle kokumnika isuphu. Ndarhaxwa lulwandle luloyiko, ndaqala ndaphaphatheka ndikhangela okona kulondolozayo. Kulapho ndambona khona. Umbhali kunye nomntakwabo babe nexesha elonwabisayo ngephenyane.

Ukunyuka intaba ngaxeshanye nathi bekungumntu omde, onamacala abanzi, indoda yaseBritane eneenwele zesilivere. Akazange asebenzise enye kodwa iintonga ezimbini zokuhamba kwaye wayejongeka njengegama elithi impiriyali. Ngamaxesha athile, wayejonga kwithambeka lentaba, aphefumlele phezulu kwaye athi Ahhh, ubomi ! Akunjalo kumnandi ? Ukusuka kwinto endikuvileyo, eli yayilixesha lakhe lesithandathu enyuka eKilimanjaro. Ndasondela kuye ndingcangcazela kukoyika.

Mholo. Mamela, awundazi. Ndivele… utata wam usezintlungwini. Isifuba sakhe sibuhlungu okanye enye into, kwaye abantu abayazi ukuba yintoni, kwaye ndizama ukuqonda kanye indlela endifanele ukuba ndiyoyika ngayo, kwaye andazi ukuba unokwazi nantoni na, kodwa unganceda ? Ibunzi lakhe litshonile, amehlo akhe athe ntsho. Wanqwala entweni ekude kude emva koko wathi, Ndizise kuye. IJackpot.

Emva kwemizuzu embalwa ndedwa notata, le nqanawa yokuhamba yomntu ohambahamba yaya kum. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba uphuhlise imeko yento ebizwa ngokuba yi-cartilage abanye-fancy-igama yemiphunga elinye-elinye-igama elinomdla- ilism, watsho. Kufuneka afike kumphakamo osezantsi ngokukhawuleza. Kwimizuzu nje emihlanu, utata wam kunye noNot-Samson babesele behlile entabeni. Mna nomninawa wam saxelelwa ukuba singalandela emva kokuba sinezitya zesuphu. Imizuzu engamashumi amabini eyoyikisayo kamva, sasixhalabile sisendleleni.

***

Yadlula iyure, akwabikho mqondiso katata. Bendinexhala. Okwangoku, bekufanele ukuba simfumene. Umbane wabengezela entlokweni yam. Waye wawa ngesiquphe, kwaye isikhokelo samphosa emagxeni akhe saqala ukwehla ngomkhondo. Wayeshukume ngokukhawuleza, kodwa utata wayenobunzima, kwaye sasisalelwe ziintsuku ezimbini ukuba sifumane naluphi na uncedo olusemthethweni lwezonyango. Ngokukhawuleza, ndaqhekeka kwi-sprint. Oku mhlawumbi kothuse umntakwethu noSamson. Khange ndithethe nelimdaka kule mizuzu ingama-30 idlulileyo, makungasathethwa ke ndinikwe naluphi na uhlobo lokubonisa ukuba sendizokuqalisa ukubaleka ngesantya esiphezulu. Bandilandela, bedidekile. Ndibaleke ngokukhawuleza okukhulu, ndinethemba lokuba ndiza kufika kutata kwangethuba ukuze… ndithini. Ukucudisa isandla sakhe. Ukumbulela. Ndiyabulela ngokundikhuthaza ukuba ndilandele umdla wam nangona bezahluke mpela kuye. Ndiyabulela kuye ngokudlula phantsi koluvo lokuzonwabisa kunye nesibindi sokweyisa ezam iintaba, nokuba kungangumzekelo wokomfuziselo. Ndiyabulela ngokundifundisa indlela yokunyuka.

Bendizama ukufumana eyona ndlela yokucinezela konke oku enkosi kwisivakalisi esinye esifutshane, ndakufika encotsheni yenduli nanko ekhona. Ndiphila kakhulu, ndihleli elityeni kwaye ndisitya isitya sesuphu. Hee! Ndiziva ngcono kakhulu, watsho echwayitile. Ndanqwala ngokungakhathali, ndaginya kakhulu ndathi, Daaaaaaaad, uyacaphukisa.