Kidman kunye neGigandet. Zingaphi iindlela ifilimu enokungahambi kakuhle ngazo? Zininzi kakhulu ukuba zingadweliswa, kwaye Ityala ubafumana bonke. Le nto ingenanjongo, engenanjongo yenkampu yokungena ekhaya, ekhokelwa nguJoel Schumacher, imbi ngendlela efumanekayo, kwaye njengokuba isilima esibomvu silandela esinye, sifumana nje isillier kunye nesilili. Ekugqibeleni, abaphulaphuli kwindawo yokuhluza endandikhe ndaya kuyo babegquma yintsini.
Ngaphambi kokuba ababulali abafihliweyo bafike ukuze babaphathe gadalala kwaye batshabalalise indlu yabo yobuchwephesha embindini wemigxobhozo yaseLouisiana, uKyle noSarah Miller (UNicolas Cage noNicole Kidman) babonakala ngathi sisibini esifanelekileyo. Ungumrhwebi wedayimani okanye umtyibilikisi wezindlu (ufihle amatye anqabileyo kwaye athengise ipropathi kwiselfowuni yakhe ngaxeshanye ukuthandabuza abathengi). Ungumyili wezakhiwo oyile indlu yeglasi engenakwenzeka (kwilizwe lenkanyamba?). Unxibe isikipha esiqinileyo, esolula amabele kwaye ujongeka emncinci kunentombi yabo yeshumi elivisayo, u-Avery (Liana Liberato), nangona wonke umntu enexhala kakhulu kwaye ezibandakanye naye ukuba angaziqaphela. Engavumelekanga ukuba enze itheko ubusuku bonke kunye nesihlwele esikhawulezayo kwindawo yokuthambisa i-cocaine, u-Avery uzivalele egumbini lakhe kwaye akahoyi itreyi yesidlo sangokuhlwa kaMama ashiye phantsi. Ngeli xesha, uTata uzixakekise yedwa kwiminyango evaliweyo ehamba ngenqanawa yokungena ngaphakathi, ethetha ngokufihlakeleyo kwiselfowuni qho ngomzuzu wokuvuka, esiya ePorsche yakhe eyokuqhuba ishishini eliyimfihlakalo. Emva koko ii-chimes zombane ziyahamba, amasango atshixa i-alamu, kwaye indlu ihlaselwe ngamadoda anxibe okonogada, ewangawangisa imipu kwaye eyalela usapho ukuba luhlangane kwigumbi lokuhlala. U-oh, u-Avery uye waya ethekweni nentliziyo ethile kwindawo ethile kwi-bayou, kwaye kuqala ubusuku. Bafuna yonke into onayo, abangeneleli baqala ukuqhwaba uMama ngokungqonga iiglasi zamehlo zikaTata kumgangatho wemabhile. Ukusuka apha ukuya phambili, imovie iya kwintsholongwane kwaye ukungakholeki kulawula.
Endaweni yokunika ii-hoodlums oko bafuna ukugcina usapho kunye nendlu yamaphupha, uKyle ukhetha impikiswano malunga ne-pragmatism. Kutheni le nto engasebenzisani? Ngelixa imovie ishenxisa phakathi kokuhlasela kwasekhaya kunye nepati yentombi kwindlela ekhawulezayo, uMnu Miller ujika abachasi ngokwaneleyo ukuba babenobugqwetha bokuvula umlilo nge-Uzis zabo, emva koko bazikhukhumalise ngokwaneleyo ukuba babanike ukwahlula idayimani ezibiweyo kwindawo yakhe ekhuselekileyo. Ewe! Nolwaphulo-mthetho! (Qhawula ukugigitheka.) Endaweni yokubanika amatye anqabileyo, angasekho kwindawo ekhuselekileyo nenokulandelwa, wenza ubudenge ngokuthetha-thethana nabo, enikezela ngokufumana ucingo, kwimizuzu nje embalwa kude nokuhlushwa nokufa. Inkosikazi ayenzi rational kakhulu nokuba. Kutheni le nto eqhubeka edlala ngothando lomninawa omncinci oyinkokeli yeqela lemigulukudu (uCam Gigandet, ihunk yaseBurlesque)? Uyayazi indlu. Ngaba wayekho ngaphambili, kwisimemo sikaSara? Ngaba umyeni wakhe uyazi? Tshotsho! Nazi iiteyiphu zokhuselo kwaye nantso ke, ngeempumlo, ephuma ephantse ukuba ze kwi-swimming pool eya ezingalweni zakhe ezivulekileyo. Ngena kwindawo yesondo evukelayo, ehamba isoyikeka, inika intombi ebhalwe umvambo yenye yabahlaseli iVicodin. Kwabathunjiweyo, akukho mntu ubonakalisa ukukhothwa kwengqondo. Okanye mhlawumbi kukuziphatha kakubi. Inye into icacile. Ukumemeza, ukukhwaza, ukukhala kunye nokuxubana akuveli kuloyiko, kodwa kwiskripthi esibi kunye nokudideka, ulwalathiso olungagungqiyo. Endaweni yoxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, abaphulaphuli basabela ngee-guffaws zovalo.
Ityala Umanyanisa kwakhona umlawuli kunye noMnumzana Cage, awathi wayalela yena 8MM , kunye noNks Kidman, owayemsebenzela kwisivumelwano Batman Ngonaphakade , zimbini zeefilimu ezimbi kakhulu zomsebenzi wabo. Oku kubi ngakumbi. Ukolula intetho ukusuka apha ukuya kwiveki ezayo, umlawuli uSchumacher uthintela nakuphi na ukungqubana okwenyani okanye ukuphuhliswa kwesiqwenga. Isikripthi se-idiotic, somntu ogama linguKarl Gajdusek, alwenzi nzame ekuhloleni abalinganiswa. Iikhamera zibhabha zijikeleza igumbi ngenzame elilize yokugcina isenzo sijijekile kwaye sibuhlungu, kodwa iziphumo sisicaphucaphu, hayi uxinzelelo. Emva kokubethwa ngokungathi unodoli we-rag, uNicole Kidman ujika amnyama, luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka kunye negazi, eneneni elawula into engenakwenzeka yokujonga i-cadaverous-kwaye ayisiyiyo nje i-makeup. Okwangoku, kwenzeka into engaqhelekanga ebusweni buka Mnu. Ulusu lwakhe lumthubi, izidlele zidumbile, kwaye nentloko inkulu kakhulu emzimbeni wakhe. Eyona nto imbi yakha yenzeka eHollywood kukuyilwa kweBotox.
rreed@observer.com
UKUDLULA
Ixesha lokubaleka 91 imizuzu
Ibhalwe nguKarl Gajdusek
Ekhokelwa nguJoel Schumacher
Kudlala uNicolas Cage, uNicole Kidman kunye noCam Gigandet
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