Ayibonakali kakuhle xa sele uqalile ukufihla isicatshulwa kwiqabane lakho.I-Rawpixel / i-Unsplash Hayi, awunakuba ngumhlobo noMichael. Unokwazi, kodwa uyifihlile into yokuba ubuthetha naye, ke ngoku awukwazi.
I-Flashback kum umyeni wam owayendikhuza ngokuvuma isicelo sangaphambili somhlobo we-Facebook. Ebendijonge kakubi. Mhlobo wakhe. Kutheni ufuna nokumfuna ebomini bakho? Uyimpundu.
Akunjalo ukuba ndiza kuhlala naye, kulula ukuba ngumhlobo kunotshaba, ndakhalaza, ndisazi ukuba ndikhetha umlo andiyi kuwuphumelela.
Wawuthe phithi nguye ukuqala kwethu ukuthandana, ndiyazi ukuba wawunemizwa ngaye, watsho ke umyeni wam ngeloxesha.
Kodwa ndikutshatile, ndaphendula ndinenzondo. Andinamdla kuye, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba andinakuba nobubele.
Yintoni iinjongo zakhe? Uya kuzama ukulala nawe, wabhengeza.
Thixo, awunakundithemba? Ndibuzile.
Eli lelinye lamaxesha amaninzi emtshatweni wam apho ndaye ndabona khona ukuba ubudlelwane bethu buhle kangakanani. Ewe, uMichael, owayengumbhexeshi womboniso wentetho, wayengumntu endakhe ndamfuna, ngaxa lithile ebomini bam. Ngokuqinisekileyo, mhlawumbi wayendinika ingqwalaselo kuba ndandiphelelwe ngumda, kodwa umyeni wam waziva ngale ndlela malunga nolwalamano kunye nobuhlobo bam, kwaye ke ndandisele ndiqhele ukumfihlela unxibelelwano lwam lwemihla ngemihla —yinxalenye yento ebambekayo isigwebo sam ekuqinisekiseni ukuba ubudlelwane bam noMichael bulungile na
Kwenze kwalula ukuthethelela ukumbona, kunye nokufumana ingqalelo endandiyirhalela. Ndifuna imvume yakhe ixesha elide. Ndayichitha inkumbulo yendlela ekrwada ngayo kum kwiminyaka edlulileyo. Oko kwakungasabalulekanga. Ngoku wayebonakala enomdla kum, kwaye ndaziva ndiqinisekisiwe. Ngaba yayikukukopela ukuba bendiphendule kwiincoko ezingenaFacebook ezingenabungozi? Andizukuyibiza ngokuba yinto yeemvakalelo, kodwa ndaziva ndingalunganga, kwaye bendisazi ukuba umyeni wam ngekhe avume, ke ndiyifihlile.
Kodwa kungekudala, yaba ngaphezulu kwemiyalezo embalwa ye-Facebook. Mna noMichael saqala ukuthumela imiyalezo rhoqo malunga nezinto ezingabalulekanga ezinje ngemozulu, okanye wayendithumelela iiselfies ezazihamba ze ababhinqileyo bamthumela ukuba bafumane uluvo lwam malunga nokuba bayabhanxwa na. Saqala ukuya komnye komnye ngengcebiso yobudlelwane. Kwakukho ikofu ngamanye amaxesha. Akukho nto yenzekileyo kwezi ntlanganiso zasemini, kodwa bendisoloko ndiziva ndiziva ndinetyala kakhulu.
Saxhoma ngqo ngqo emva kwemini ezintathu hayi ngaphezulu kweyure ngaphezulu kwexesha lonyaka. Ndiyazi ukuba uMichael utsaleleke kum ngendlela angazange abe ngayo xa ndandifumaneka kwaye ndingenalo ubudlelwane. Kodwa ndehla kuloo nto, kuba ekugqibeleni wabonakala ngathi uyandifuna kwaye wayengenakuba nam-ndawabamba amandla. Kodwa ukuba ndinyanisekile, ubuhlobo babumangalisa kwaye buxinzelelekile kunye neephantsi koxinzelelo lwezesondo.
Ayisiyonto intle kulwalamano lwakho xa ufihla ubuhlobo nabanye, ngakumbi xa ubuhlobo bungasoloko bunjalo: ubuhlobo obungenatyala. Kwakunganyanzelekanga ukuba ndiqwalasele ngokwasemzimbeni ndandinqwenela, kodwa inkxaso yemvakalelo. Iincoko endiya kuba nazo noMichael ziluhlobo endifuna ukuba nalo nendoda enditshatileyo. Undimamele. Yongeze kuloo nto yomtsalane wethu, kwaye uMichael wenza ukuma okuhle kumyeni wam.
Ndikuthumelela imiyalezo engakumbi kunangaphambili. Amagqabaza akhe andenza buhlungu. Kwakunjalo nakwisiphelo sam — wayendithumelela imiyalezo ngefowuni ngaphezu komyeni wam. Kwakungekho ngenxa yokungabikho kokuzama kwam, nangona kunjalo. Ndathumela umyalezo kumyeni wam ngalo lonke ixesha, kodwa wayekhetha kwaye aphendule xa eza kundiphendula. Ngokwesiqhelo, bendifumana enye xa efuna into, njengaxa wayefuna ndimthathele i-Uber okanye ndimthengele ukutya. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akuzange kwenze ubuhlobo bam noMichael O.K., kodwa ndiyilinganisile ngokuzixelela ukuba andikukhohlisi, ngoko yayingengokungcatsha.
UMichael wayengenguye yedwa umntu owamgculela umyeni wam, uninzi lwabantu endibaziyo ababhinqileyo ekugqibeleni lwangena kuluhlu lwabamnyama. Wonke umyalezo obhaliweyo-nokuba yi-OMG okanye i-LOL-wawuphicothwa. Kwakulula kum ukuba ndicime yonke imbalelwano endinayo ukuze ndiphephe ukujongwa nguMolo omsulwa. Ubuhlobo ayisiyonto ekufanele ukuba iyimfihlo kumntu othandana naye, kodwa yonke eyam izive isoyikiswa ngumyeni wam-mhlawumbi kuba esongelwa ngabo. Wayebacaphukela phantse bonke abahlobo bam de wazama nokundithintela ndingaboni usapho lwam.
Indlela yam yokuvukela? Ukuhlala nabantu andinqande ukuba ndibabone.
Akufanele ube ngumhlobo noJenna, kufuneka umxelele ukuba ugqibile ukuthetha naye, wathi ngenye imini ngaphandle kwendawo. Obu yayibuhlobo endandinabo ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-25. Asizange sihlale kunxweme olunye kwaye ekuphela kwendlela yokunxibelelana yayikukuthumela umyalezo.
Kutheni ndingayenza lonto? Ndithe.
Andiqondi ukuba ubuhlobo obufanele ukubugcina.
Kulungile, ke uyeke ukuba ngumhlobo noKris, ndacebisa. Wayekhangeleka enomsindo, kuba ndandinezizathu zam zokungonwabi ngobu buhlobo. UKris wayebile imali kum, kwaye umyeni wam wayesazi ngayo.
Andikwazi ukuyeka ukuba ngumhlobo noKris, ubudlelwane bomsebenzi, watsho.
Ke loo nto ithethelela into yokuba bebe imali kum? Ndibuze ndingakholelwa. Yinto ebuhlungu leyo. Andincami namnye wabahlobo bam, awunazo nezizathu zokuthethelela ukuba kutheni ndiyekile ukubabona.
UJenna akahlali apha, uMadge akandithandi, uLisa unemicimbi emininzi.
Ndaye ndabona ukuba ayinamsebenzi ukuba ngubani lo ndithetha naye. Kuwo wonke umntu endimbonisileyo, wayeza kuza noluhlu olungapheliyo lwezizathu zokuba kutheni kufuneka ndizihlukanise naye, nokuba bayindoda okanye ibhinqa, bathe tye okanye bayathandana. Ndingafundiswa okomntwana wesikolo ngayo yonke into ebendiyenza. Ke kutheni ungenzi ngendlela endifuna ngayo?
Njengokuba umtshato wethu uqhubeka uqhawuka, bonke abahlobo umyeni wam abebekhe wabashiya kwiminyaka edlulileyo beza kum emva kokuba ndicinga ukumshiya. Engazi wazilungiselela abahlobo bam ukuba bandicebise ukuba ndibalekele iinduli.
Ukugqitywa komtshato wam, ubuhlobo bam noMichael bakhawuleza baphela. Khange ndiphinde ndimkhange njengomfazi ongatshatanga. Wabuyela kwiindlela zakhe zokubaleka. Ndabuyela ekubeni yintombazana epholileyo engaqinisekanga xa ndiqala ukudibana naye. Sonke isitokhwe somhlobo ebendicinga ukuba siyakhe ngesiquphe siphelile.
Mhlawumbi sasisebenzisa sobabini ngexesha ebomini bethu xa sobabini sasingonwabanga. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndandinjalo, okanye ubuhlobo babungayi kukhula ngale ndlela kwasekuqaleni. Ubuhlobo bam noMichael benzekile kuba bendingayifumani le ndiyifunayo kumyeni wam. Ndayigcina iyimfihlo kuba ubudlelwane bethu babuphelile. Ndiyazi ukuba kufanelekile ukuba ndenze izinto ngokwahlukileyo, kodwa, ekugqibeleni, uMichael wakhonza njengendawo yemozulu eluncedo, ekhomba kwinto yokuba ukuthembela kubudlelwane bam kuye emazantsi. Kubudlelwane obulungileyo, akukho sidingo sabahlobo abafihlakeleyo.
Umsebenzi kaRandi Newton ubonakalisiwe kupapasho oluqala Newsweek, LA ngeveki kwaye TheFix ukuya Ukugcina izindlu kakuhle . UNewton uvele Inqaku le-O'Reilly , njengepaneli yeFox's Igumbi lobuchule , kwaye unegalelo kwiRadio Andy XM. UNewton ngummeli wemicimbi yokulutha kunye nokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nomncedisi wokubuyisela oqinisekisiweyo. Uyakuthanda ukuhamba ixesha elide elunxwemeni, esasaza iimovie, kwaye uyayithanda ikofu enomkhenkce nokuba leliphi ixesha lonyaka.
