Yintoni ingxaki yamadoda?

URoberto Escobar yindoda emfutshane, egobile. Mdala ngoku kwaye uphantse waba yimfama kwaye abe sisithulu kwibhombu yeleta eqhushumba ebusweni bakhe kwiminyaka eyadlulayo. Iziseko zakhe zamehlo zitshone kugebhezi lwakhe kushiya iikhreyiti ezimbini ezilingana nebhola yegolufa ebusweni bakhe. Amehlo akhe akanabomi. Iyadlula kuwe, ngokungathi ubeluhlobo oluthile lwehologram.

Intlanganiso kaPablo Escobar umntakwabo yajika yaba lelinye lawona maxesha adanisayo ebomini bam. EMedellin, eColombia, ungaya endlwini kaRoberto. Ngapha koko, kukho ishishini elipheleleyo lezokhenketho elihlume malunga ne-Escobar kunye ne-cartel endala. Uninzi lolu khenketho luyakhuthazwa kwaye lukhuthazwe lusapho lakwa-Escobar ngokwabo, njengoko (ngokukuko) ekuphela kwendlela abanayo yokwenza imali eninzi kwezi ntsuku.

Abanye abatyeleli kunye nam simamela njengoko uRoberto ethetha ngamabali ngaye kunye noPablo kunye nenqwelomoya, amabali ngokungathandabuzekiyo awafunda amaxesha angamakhulu ngaphambili. Kukho ubuze xa ethetha. ISpanish yakhe iwela ngaphandle komlomo kwindawo enesidima, ngamanye amaxesha ayinakuchazeka. Ngamanye amaxesha xa ethetha nawe wolula isandla kwaye abeke isandla sakhe kuwe, ngendlela yezopolitiko, ngaphandle kwendlela enza ngayo, akukho mvakalelo kuyo, akukho charisma. Ingathi uyaqinisekisa ukuba usekhona - ukuba usekhona.

Kukho itafile encinci kwivaranda yakhe efakwe ii-DVD, iiposikhadi, kunye, nencwadi yakhe. Ungazithenga emva koko ubhatale kabini ikopi ene-autographed.

Usikhumbuza ngezi zihlandlo ezininzi.

Kubantu abangaziwayo (okanye abo bangenayo i-Netflix), umzalwana kaRoberto owaziwayo, uPablo Escobar, wayeyinkokeli yeMedellin Drug Cartel kwaye mhlawumbi bobabini babesisityebi kunye nabathengisi beziyobisi ezinobundlobongela kwimbali yabantu. Ukuqala ngo-1975, uPablo wakha ubukhosi obugidigidi ngezigidi ngokwazisa umhlaba kwimimangaliso yecocaine. Ukuthubelezisa kwakhe ngokungekho sikweni kungakhuthaza iziyobisi e-US ngasekupheleni kweminyaka yama-70 kunye nasekuqaleni kweminyaka yama-80, amaza olwaphulo-mthetho awalandela emva kwawo, ubhubhane wokuqhekeka, kwaye ekugqibeleni urhulumente wase-US wemfazwe kwimigaqo-nkqubo yeziyobisi esasebenza nanamhlanje.

Kwincopho yakhe, amandla kaPablo ayengaqondakali. Uyithengile indlela yakhe eya kwipalamente yaseColombia ngokwakha ubumelwane bonke ngamawaka amahlwempu aseColombia ukuze afumane ivoti. Kwi-80's, iForbes yamqikelela njengendoda yesixhenxe esisityebi emhlabeni enexabiso elixabisa malunga neebhiliyoni ezingama-35 zeedola zaseMelika (zii- $ 81 zezigidigidi ngo-2017 iidola.) Kwincwadi yakhe, uRoberto uthi ngelinye ixesha inqwelo yayisenza njalo imali eninzi echithe i-2 500 yeedola inyanga nenyanga kwimixokelelwane yerabha ukufakela amatyala.

Ukugcina amandla akhe, u-Escobar wayekhohlakele. Akazange nje asebenzise ubundlobongela ukohlwaya iintshaba, wasebenzisa zona ukuthumela umyalezo. Wayekhe wanendoda enolusu oluphila emva koko wayibophelela emthini ukuze wophe de afe kwilanga elishushu laseColombia. Xa urhulumente wayesongela ngokumbuyisela e-US ngezityholo zamachiza, wahlasela ngobunqolobi kumawakawaka abahlali njengolunya. IPalamente ibize iseshoni yongxamiseko kwaye yahlomela umgaqo-siseko wabo ukwenza ukuba ukubuyiswa kwawo kungabikho semthethweni, ukuze u-Escobar ayeke ukumisa iibhombu kunye neendlela eziphithizelayo. Ngexesha lokulawula kwakhe, uPablo waxhela abagwebi, wahlawula bonke abasebenzi basejele, wabhabha kwabona badlali bebhola ekhatywayo ababalaseleyo emhlabeni ukuba badlale naye kwifama yakhe, kwaye wakhokelela ekufeni kwakhe, wenza imfazwe epheleleyo ezidolophini kwizitrato zaseMedellin, ukubulala phantse amapolisa angama-500 kule nkqubo.

Imizuzu engamashumi amathathu kutyelelo lwethu, ndicinga kum ukuba uRoberto Escobar usenokuba ngumntu wokuqala endakhe ndadibana naye oyintlalontle. Phakathi kokusihlanganisa namabali amaqhawe kaPablo ngokuthubelezisa ngePanama, nangendlela awayegrogrisa ngayo ngokubulala iintsapho zalo naliphi na ipolisa elimbambayo, uthi uzimisele nokuthatha imifanekiso nathi ngentlawulo encinci. Andiqinisekanga ukuba ngubani ofuna ukumbetha ebusweni ngakumbi, yena okanye abakhenkethi abancinci baseMelika abanyanzelayo kwaye bahlawule.

Iziyobisi, imali, ubundlobongela, iziyobisi, imali, ubundlobongela-emva kwemini kuyaziphinda. Ndinqwenela ukuqiniseka ukuba le ndoda inalo naluphi na uhlobo lobuntu konke konke, ndiyambuza ukuba yeyiphi inkumbulo ayithandayo ngoPablo. Ndifuna ubuncinci ukuqonda uhlobo oluthile lweemvakalelo ezivela kule ndoda, kwinqanaba elithile lobunzulu ngaphaya kweendleko ezilula / uhlalutyo lwenzuzo yabaphilayo nabafileyo.

Ungena kwibali elingacacanga malunga nexesha awanceda ngalo uPablo ukuba aphume entolongweni. Ndicinezela phambili, Kutheni le nkumbulo? Ngoba? Kutheni le nkumbulo?

Uyaphendula, ibilixesha lokuqala kwaye kuphela kwakhe andixelele ukuba ndenze umsebenzi olungileyo. Ixesha kuphela? URoberto wayengumgcini zimali kaPablo, umqeshwa wakhe amthembileyo phantse iminyaka engama-20. Umntakwabo. Yiyo leyo?

I-anecdote kaRoberto iqulethe i-sliver yeemvakalelo, kodwa ndisafumana ukujonga okungenanto, amehlo angenanto. Ndihlala ndityhala. Kuthekani ngobuntwana bakho? Wawunjani wena noPablo nisengabantwana?

Unqumamo. Sasidla ngokuloba kakhulu.

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Kwaye sigqibile. Uyajika asikhumbuze ukuba xa uthenga i-DVD, eyesibini iya kuba phakathi.

KUTHENI ABANTU ABANGABONAKALI KWIMBALI YABANTU BAHLALA BENGAMADODA?

Kwenzeka kum njengoko sasijikeleza ikhaya lase-Escobar: kutheni le nto abona bantu bakhohlakeleyo nabanogonyamelo kuyo yonke imbali behlala bengamadoda? Ukuba kukho i-mega-enobudlova, i-dominatrix yokukhangela iziyobisi, ndiqinisekile ukuba andizange ndive ngaye. Okanye uthini nguzwilakhe ongumbulali? Umphathi-mkhosi wabavukeli? Umntu obulala kakhulu? Ibala lokudlala? Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, bonke abantu.

Amadoda enza ngaphezulu kwama-76% olwaphulo-mthetho olunobundlobongela eMelika. Ehlabathini lonke loo manani kunokwenzeka ukuba aphezulu kakhulu.

Amadoda amatyeli ali-10 kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukuba abulale kwaye amatyeli asithoba kunokwenzeka ngakumbi kunabafazi ukuba baphele ejele. Amadoda enza ama-99% odlwengulo axeliweyo kunye nokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo. Kwaye amakhwenkwe enza i-95% yolwaphulo-mthetho olunobundlobongela kwinqanaba lolutsha.

Nabani na okhule ephethe ipipi okanye ejikeleze umntu onepenisi uyazi ukuba amakhwenkwe angakhohlakele. Xa ndandisengumntwana, sasiba imatshisi ekhitshini kwaye sibambe izinambuzane sizitshise ziphilile emva koko sihleke ngayo. Amanye amakhwenkwe abeka umlilo kwiibhokisi zeposi zabantu ukuze abone ukuba baya kuqhuma. Kwakukho intombazana ezantsi kwesitalato sam egama linguCynthia. Sakha samlilisa kuba simphosela amaqanda. Sasingama-assholes amancinci. Kwaye xa ndicinga emva, andikwazi ukuqonda nayiphi na ingcinga okanye isizathu esingasemva kwayo.

Kodwa ndandingaqhelekanga. Inkoliso yamanye amakhwenkwe awayelingana nam ayengabantu abakhohlakeleyo nabakhohlakeleyo. Umkhuluwa wam omdala wabetha ububhanxa kum rhoqo. Kwaye ucinga ukuba ndiyifumene phi imbono yee-shenanigans zam phofu? Yena nabahlobo bakhe.

Kutheni le nto amadoda engadick? Nokuba igama ngokwalo, dick, ilungu lobudoda, libhekisa kumntu okrwada kwaye okhubekisayo. Kutheni thina? Kutheni madoda? Ngaba ikwi-biology yethu? Ngaba savela ngolu hlobo? Ngaba ngokwemvelo siba ndlongondlongo? Ngaba yinxalenye yesayikholoji yengqondo yethu eyindoda? Ngaba zikhona iingcinezelo ezingekho sempilweni zentlalo ezisibangela ukuba senze izinto ngendlela engalunganga? Ngaba amadoda ahenyuza nje ngobubi? Umthengisi? Umthengisi?

IMBALI YOBUNDLOBONGELA BAMADODA

Imbali yoluntu igcwele ukhuphiswano nobundlobongela. Akukabikho ndawo ininzi eyakha yabakho kwindaleko yokuba singabulalani ngandlela thile.

Olu khuphiswano kunye nobundlobongela babukhona ngesizathu esilula sokuba izibonelelo zinqabile, kwaye izibonelelo ezinikwe isizwe esinye / uluntu lokoyisa / ukulawula ezo zixhobo zazinkulu. Ke abantu balwa nabo. Kwaye kwafuneka baqhubeke besilwa nabo kuba wakuba uphumelele umhlaba okanye igolide okanye umlambo we-esile omnandi onebhanana ezininzi ezikhula ngakuwo, kuya kufuneka uyikhusele.

Ngaphakathi kuluntu, abona bantu balungele uloyiso kunye nokufumanisa yayingamadoda aselula. Inye, kuba babenamandla kwaye banakho kakhulu. Kodwa nangenxa yokuba babebancinci kwaye kuninzi abanokukungqina. Eyona mibutho iphumeleleyo yayiyeyokuphuhlisa iinkcubeko ngokuncoma kunye nokuvuza abafana abancinci ngenxa yobundlobongela kunye noloyiso. Aba bafana abasetyenziswanga nje njengabahlambululi bokukhula okungakumbi kobutyebi kunye nobutyebi kodwa basebenza njengabakhuseli. Babekhusela uluntu kumarhamncwa asendle, balwa nabahlaseli, kwaye babulala i-icky, spider spider.

Ubudoda ngokwasekuqaleni bekukho konke malunga nee-P's ezintathu: umkhuseli, umboneleli, ukuzala. Okukhona ukhusela, kokukhona ubonelela, kokukhona usiya, kokukhona uyindoda.

Ubukhulu becala, oku kusaqwalaselwa ngokubanzi njengobudoda namhlanje, nangona ii-3 P zijongeka zahluke kancinci kwiinkcubeko ezahlukeneyo. Kungenxa yoko le nto ubhuti othandekayo obetha isiqingatha sobuqhetseba sisitudiyo, ngelixa intombazana enobuqhetseba evuthela iqela le-baseball sislut. Kungenxa yoko le nto owasetyhini othetha phezulu kwiintlanganiso zebhodi ubonwa njengonwabileyo kwaye onwabileyo, kwaye indoda ethetha ngabantu kwaye ibajongela phantsi phambi kwabanye ibonwa njengesibindi nenkokeli eyomeleleyo.

Kodwa le nguqulo yobudoda yavela ngenxa yesizathu sokunceda-ukusikhusela kubahlaseli nokukhusela idolophu nokubulala iibhere nezinto. Sasifuna amadoda ukuba abambe kakhulu kuba into efana nesiqingatha sabantwana bakho ayiphilanga ekufikisa. Sasiyabadinga ukuba babonelele kuba awuzange wazi ukuba ubusika obuzayo babusondele nini kwikona.

Kwaye inyani yokuba le ndlela yobudoda yeza ngendleko- kokubini emadodeni ngokwempilo yabo kunye nokusweleka kwabo, nakwindawo yoluntu malunga nobundlobongela kunye nolawulo lobukhoboka-yathotywa. Ngubani okhathalayo ukuba abantu bayafa, bahlupheke, kwaye baphulukane nengqondo ngamanani othusayo? Kuphela lixabiso esilibhatalayo ukukhusela kunye nokuchuma (kunye neentsana).

Ingxaki kukuba namhlanje, izinto zitshintshile kakhulu kwiinkulungwane ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo kangangokuba izinto ezimbalwa ziyinyani ngoku ezazingeyonyani ngaphambili:

1. Ubudoda bendabuko abuseyomfuneko kuluntu olusempilweni nolusebenzayo. Asihlali phantsi kwesoyikiso sokuhlaselwa. Kwaye asihlaselwa zizilwanyana zasendle rhoqo. Iintsana ziyasinda kwaye, enyanisweni, kubaluleke ngakumbi kwezi ntsuku ukucwangcisa usapho lwakho ngokuzikhethela kunokuba nje ulunamathele naphina apho unokufumana khona. Kwaye umsebenzi omninzi ofunekayo kuqoqosho lwanamhlanje wenziwa ngokulula ngabafazi njengamadoda.
2. Iindleko zobudoda bendabuko, kokubini emadodeni nakuluntu ngokwalo, akunakulindeleka ukuba zixhamle.

IINDLEKO ZOKUFIHLA ZOKUBA Yindoda

Xa ndandisengumntwana, ukuba ndingawa phantsi ebaleni lokudlala ndize ndilile, ukukhala kwam kuhlala kuhlangana nohlobo oluthile, Vuka. Yiba yinkwenkwe enkulu. Ukuba ndibethwe ngumntakwethu, utata wam wayendicebisa ukuba ndiphinde ndizibethe. Abanye abantwana esikolweni babehlekisa ngamakhwenkwe abuthathaka okanye angalunganga kwimidlalo. Njengomntu ofikisayo, ndandixhatshazwa ngamanye amaxesha kwigumbi elitshixwayo ngenxa yokuba nerdy.

Ezi zinto ziqhelekile. Kuqhelekile ukuba izive ibubudenge bokubhala kuba uqikelelo lwam kukuba wonke umfundi oyindoda angadibana nala mava angentla. Ihlala icinyiwe njengamakhwenkwe angamakhwenkwe. Kwaye inembali yenkcubeko ende.

Kwakhona, kuninzi lwempucuko, abafana abancinci ngabo ababenoxanduva lokukhusela uluntu. Ngexesha ababebadala ngalo, kwakufuneka babe lukhuni kwaye bomelele ngokwasemzimbeni- ukusinda koluntu kuhlala kuxhomekeke kuyo. Ngenxa yoko, ubundlobongela, ubundlobongela phakathi kwamadoda (ngemidlalo ehleliweyo) kwabhiyozelwa (kwaye kusenjalo nanamhlanje, nangona oku kuqala ukutshintsha). Kwaye amadoda angakhange akwazi ukusika ayeneentloni ngenxa yobuthathaka babo bomzimba, ngenxa yemiboniso yabo yeemvakalelo kunye neemfuno ezisengozini zothando. Amadoda ayenzelwe ukhuphiswano olungenanceba, kunye nokuzibandakanya ngokwasemphefumlweni.

Kwaye le yayiyindleko efihliweyo yolawulo lwabo lomzimba, kwaye kamva kwezopolitiko, eluntwini- njengamadoda, sifundiswa ukusuka emncinci ukuba sizimele kwiimvakalelo zethu kunokuba sizibandakanye nabo. Ukuchaza iintlungu okanye iziphumo ezibuhlungu kumntwana onje ukubizwa ngokuba 'yipussy' okanye 'iwuss'.Iipelisi

Ewe, oku akunakukumangalisa, kodwa uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo luyabakhathaza abantu. Ukuhlazisa abantu ngobuthathaka kunye nokuba sesichengeni kunokubangela zonke iingxaki zempilo yengqondo, singasathethi ke ngokubakhuthaza ukuba baphumeze iindlela ezichasene nentlalontle (okt, dubula isikolo , okanye inkunzi yegusha yemoto ingene kwisihlwele sabantu, sayina ukuba ngumlobi kwezinye Umbutho wenkolo ophambeneyo - isandi esiqhelekileyo?)

Amadoda azibulala ngomlinganiselo ophindwe kahlanu kunowabafazi ngelixa amakhwenkwe akwishumi elivisayo ezibulala amaxesha asithoba kunamantombazana. Baye bafumanisa ukuba banexinzelelo kunye ne-ADHD kwinqanaba le-4 ukuya kwi-1 kumantombazana akwiminyaka efanayo. Amadoda enza i-2/3 yabantu abangenakhaya, banamathuba aphindwe kabini okuba ngamakhoboka otywala kwaye baphantse babe kathathu amathuba okuba ngamakhoboka eziyobisi. Kubhalwe ngokubanzi ukuba amadoda mancinci amathuba okuba acele uncedo kwiingcali, kwezonyango okanye ngenye indlela, kwanaxa eneengxaki ezinkulu zempilo okanye uxinzelelo.

Amadoda ngamaxhoba kuninzi lolwaphulo-mthetho olunobundlobongela, kodwa mancinci kakhulu amathuba okukuxela ngenxa yokoyika ukubonakala bebuthathaka. Olunye uphononongo lufumanise ukuba ama-40% amaxhoba obundlobongela basekhaya ngamadoda, ukanti bebencinci amathuba okuba babike ubundlobongela kwaye kuncinci kakhulu ukuba bangathathelwa ngqalelo ngamapolisa. Amadoda athatha imisebenzi enobungozi kwaye kunqabile ukuba axele nakuphi na ukwenzakala emsebenzini. Amadoda asebenza iiyure ezinde kakhulu, athabatha iholide ezimbalwa kunye neentsuku zokugula, kwaye afumana iimpawu ezimbi zoxinzelelo olungapheliyo nokudinwa. Amadoda ade asweleke nasemsebenzini ngesantya esothusayo. Ngamafutshane, uninzi lwamadoda aluziphathi njengento yokuhlawula abahambayo. Uninzi lwamadoda aluziphathi njengento nje yokuhlawula umvuzo.Iipelisi

Kwaye, enyanisweni, yile nto ichasene nobomi babo ebulala amadoda ngokukhawuleza.

Abasetyhini baqala ngaphezulu kwe-70% yoqhawulo-mtshato nokwahlukana ngesona sizathu siphambili sikhankanywe njengokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo kubayeni babo. Olo qhawulo mtshato luye lwabetha amadoda nzima kakhulu: amadoda asandula ukuqhawula umtshato asengozini yokufumana uxinzelelo, ukunxila, ukugula ngengqondo nokuzibulala kunabafazi.

Amadoda awanako ukusebenza ngokwasemphefumlweni ngaphandle kwabafazi, ukutshata yeyona nto isempilweni umntu anokuyenza ebomini bakhe. Esinye isishwankathelo sophando sokucinezelwa kweemvakalelo siye saya kuthi: ukuthintelwa kweemvakalelo ngoyena nobangela wokuba kutheni amadoda esifa ngaphambili [kunabasetyhini.]

Amadoda atshatileyo ahlala ixesha elide kwaye afumana amanqaku aphezulu kakhulu kuyo yonke imilinganiselo ye-metric ekhoyo, kubandakanya ukonwaba kunye nokulindelwa kobomi. Umtshato ngokucacileyo ubaluleke kakhulu kuzinzo lweemvakalelo zamadoda kangangokuba ezinye iingcali kwezentlalo ziye zide zithi ukutshata nje kunganyusa ixesha lokuphila kwendoda phantse ishumi leminyaka. Abantu abadala abakwimitshato elungileyo banezinga eliphantsi lesifo sentliziyo, umhlaza, i-Alzheimer's, uxinzelelo, noxinzelelo kunamadoda amadala angatshatanga.

Makhe ndichaze ngokucacileyo: Ukungasebenzi ngemithwalo yakho yeemvakalelo kunokukubulala ngokoqobo okanye kukwenze uphambane.

Kuwo onke amandla ethu, ngokuqinisekileyo siyafa ngokukhawuleza kwaye rhoqo. Kuwo onke amabhongo ethu obuqhetseba, sihlala siphela silusizi, sinobundlobongela, kwaye sinokuzibulala. Kwaye kuko konke ukwanela kwethu, sixhomekeke kubafazi ngentlalo-ntle yethu ngokweemvakalelo nangokomzimba kwinqanaba elothusayo.

Okumangalisayo kukuba, ubudoda abubonakali ngathi buyindoda.

YINTONI EGWENXA NGOKUTHANDA NOKUBULALA IZINTO?

Kamva emini, sihambela ikhaya elidala lase-Escobar. Izele yimifanekiso kunye neememorandam ezivela kwi-90s. Phakathi kokuzonwabisa malunga nokuxhaphaza kukaPablo, uRoberto ukhankanye ukuba wakhuphisana Ukhenketho lwaseFrance xa wayesemncinci. Ukukhangela okukhawulezayo kuGoogle kwi-smartphone yam kubonisa ukuba oku kububuxoki. Kwangoko wazama ukusiqinisekisa ukuba ulifumene iyeza likaGawulayo, kodwa uRhulumente wase-US waluphelisa uphando lwakhe. Khange ndizikhathaze ngokujonga leyo phezulu.

Ngawo onke amandla akhe, ubutyebi bakhe, ukulawula kwakhe ilizwe kunye nenkcubeko kunye nabantu, URoberto wandibetha njengento enosizi. Phezulu, le yindoda eyayinamava amakhulu njengaye wonke umntu ehlabathini. Ukanti iinzame zakhe zokusihlaba umda zazingqonge ubuqhetseba. Inokwenzeka njani into yokuba indoda enamandla kangaka ingazithembi?

Ukanti, xa sihamba kwiipaseji zendlu kaEskobar, zigcwele yimifanekiso yosapho eyoyisayo kunye nemingxunya yeembumbulu, ikhaya elalithwele ubomi obuwakawaka labomi kwaye lashiya isigidi segazi sezigidigidi zeedola kumazwekazi amabini, ndizifumana ndizama ukuvelana umntu.

Kulula ukujonga iziphumo zobomi bendoda kunye nejaji ngaphandle kokujonga inkqubo eyamkhokelela kwezo ziphumo. Kulula ukujonga iziphumo zobomi bendoda kunye nejaji ngaphandle kokujonga inkqubo eyamkhokelela kwezo ziphumo.markmanson.net

Mhlawumbi uRoberto Escobar wayengasoloko engenantliziyo kwaye ekhohlisa. Mhlawumbi ukutyala ubomi bakhe bonke kunye nesazisi kumzalwana owayengenakukhathazeka nokuba amxelele ukuba wayenekratshi ngaye wamtyhalela ukuba amkele ikamva eligulayo. Mhlawumbi ukukhula kwenkwenkwe elihlwempuzekileyo ezilalini zaseColombia kunye nabantakwabo abali-12 kunye notata ongekhoyo kumenze waziva elilolo ngakumbi kunokuba ebenakho ukuphatha. Uye wavala ke. Uvale kwaye wakhetha ukubona umhlaba ngendlela ekuphela kwayo evakalayo-njengeqela lamanani kunye namathuba anenzuzo. Mhlawumbi loo leta ibhombu eyaqhuma ebusweni bakhe kwiminyaka emininzi eyadlulayo yeba ngaphezulu kokubona kunye nesandi.

Ingxaki kwifomula yamasiko emveli-ukhuselo, ukubonelela, ukuzala kwakhona-kukuba bafuna amadoda ukuba alinganise ukuzixabisa kwabo kusetyenziswa uhlobo lwangaphandle, olulinganiselweyo.

Wonke umntu uyazi ngoku ukuba kubi ukusekela ukuzixabisa kwakho kwimali oyenzayo. Nangona kunjalo, senza ngokungazi oko ngalo lonke ixesha ebantwini. Abasetyhini abafundileyo baya kukhalaza ukuba amadoda ayinto engaphezulu kwaye bafuna kuphela ukuthandana nabasetyhini ababonakala njengemodeli eyimfihlo yaseVictoria. Okwangoku manenekazi, bangaphi kuni abalekayo emnyango ukuza kuthi ga ngoku?

Sijolise ngokungafanelekanga kwabasetyhini kuluntu ngobuhle babo kunye nesibheno sesini. Ngokufanayo, sigweba ngokungafanelekanga amadoda ngempumelelo yabo kunye nobukrakra.

Kodwa eyona ngxaki inkulu kwezi metriki zangaphandle -ukwenza imali ngakumbi, ukomelela ngakumbi nokulawula ngakumbi kunokhuphiswano, ukwabelana ngesondo kangangoko-kukuba azipheli. Ukuba u zilinganise yimalini oyenzayo, emva koko nantoni na oyifumanayo ayinakuze yanele. Ukuba uzilinganisela ngokwamandla akho kunye namandla, ke akukho mali angaze anelise. Ukuba uzilinganisela nge ungabelana ngesondo kangakanani , emva koko akukho mali yamaqabane iya kuhlala yanele.

Ezi ziimetrikhi, ngelixa kwinqanaba labemi, zazilungile eluntwini amawaka eminyaka, kwinqanaba lomntu ngamnye, bayamoyisa umntu, batshabalalise ukuzithemba kwabo kwaye bamkhuthaze ukuba azichaze, angaziboni njengomntu. ngamandla kunye nobuthathaka, ubuhle kunye neentsilelo, kodwa endaweni yokuba ezinye iinqanawa zingenalo ilungelo lokuqokelela amandla amakhulu kunye nodumo ngokusemandleni.

Kwaye ugqiba ngantoni?

Owayesakuba ngusozigidi weziyobisi, ezama ukuxoka kwiqela labantu angabaziyo, esithi uyimbaleki ekumgangatho wehlabathi kwaye umphandi wezonyango okumgangatho wehlabathi. Kufana, mfondini, yintoni enye oyifunayo? Kwaye impendulo yamadoda afana no-Escobar yile: ngaphezulu. Soloko ngaphezulu .

Kwaye yile nto ethe ekugqibeleni yatshabalalisa usapho lwayo, ngaphandle kwelizwe lonke kunye nezigidi zobomi. Isuse utata ebantwaneni bakhe. Indoda evela kumfazi wayo. Isuse inxalenye yakhe kuye.

Uhambo lwethu lwe-Escobar luphela ngokufanelekileyo emangcwabeni. Nge-2 kaDisemba ngo-1993, uPablo wafowunela unyana wakhe emnqwenelela usuku lokuzalwa olumnandi. Ngokuqhelekileyo uPablo wayengazitsaleli umnxeba, kodwa kwesi sihlandlo, kwabonakala kufanelekile. Uye wahlala ke satya isidlo sasemini nomama wakhe. Wayesoloko eyindoda yosapho kuqala, utshilo uRoberto, ngaphandle kwentsimbi. Kwimizuzu kamva uPablo walunywa indlebe ukuba amapolisa amlandele kwaye ayesiya kugqogqa indlu yakhe. Ubalekile, kodwa iiyure ezimbalwa. Ngaloo mva kwemini, uPablo wadutyulwa eqabela phezu kophahla lweMedellin, umzamo wokugqibela wokubaleka.

Nokuba uPablo wadutyulwa ngamapolisa okanye wazidubula ngokwakhe kusaphikiswa. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, imbumbulu yangena kukhakhayi lukaPablo emva kwendlebe yakhe yambulala kwangoko. Wawa emhlabeni ngezantsi, apho amapolisa afota khona kunye nesidumbu sakhe. Ayikokufa nje komnye umntu, hayi nje enye impumelelo-enye yamadoda anenkohlakalo kwaye esisityebi kwimbali yanamhlanje ethathwe yi-ricochet yobundlobongela bakhe. Ifoto ibiya kugulisa ukuba ibinguye nabani na ongomnye: iimfumba zenkunkuma kunye nemipu ijinga, konke ukuncuma phakathi kokuhamba kwegazi.

Emangcwabeni, sikhokelwa kwindawo encinci. Ukulungiswa komhlaba kuhlambulukile kwaye kugcinwa kakuhle. Igravel isasazekile kwisikwere ifreyimu yesiqwenga somhlaba esinehafu yamatye amangcwaba emgceni. Amatye amabini makhulu kunamanye. Licebo losapho lakwa-Escobar. Akukho kungabikho nto okanye iimpawu zokuphazamisa. Ukufa akunamkhethe.

Elinye lamatye amakhulu entloko lifunda igama likaPablo. Ilitye lithobekile: ligama nje kunye neminye imihla. Ecaleni kwakhe ngumama nodadewabo. Baqhubeke ezantsi abanye abantakwabo kunye namalungu osapho aphulukene naye.

Oyena mntu ulahlekileyo ngutata wakhe.