Izibonelelo zokuphupha zifanele umgudu.(Ifoto: Pixabay) Amagqabantshintshi katitshala kwingxelo yam yenkqubela phambili yebanga lesibini iye yaba yinto eqhula rhoqo kusapho lwam: UStuart ngumntwana omnandi, kodwa uphupha emini kakhulu.
Kude neentloni zokuphupha kwam, ndinombulelo ngako.
Ukuphupha kukuzonwabisa ngendlela engaqondakaliyo. Xa sele kuthathelwa ingqalelo njengendlela eyingozi yokungasebenzi, namhlanje ukuphupha kusoloko kuphoswa njengotshaba lwemveliso - isiphazamiso esivela kowona msebenzi ufanelekileyo. Oku kusenokwenzeka ukuba utitshala wam webanga lesibini wayenayo engqondweni.
Kodwa, kubantu abaninzi, ukubhadula kwengqondo akusiso isiphazamiso konke konke. Yinto ebalulekileyo yomsebenzi wabo. Kwiimeko ezicace gca, iinoveli, ababhali bemidlalo, kunye neembongi bakha ilizwe liphela kwilaphu elincomekayo lamaphupha abo emini. Kukwanjalo nangabazobi, abaqambi, abayili, iingcali zezibalo nezenzululwazi. Impumelelo yoyilo ihlala iqala njengephupha lokuvuka. Akumangalisi ke ukuba obu buchwephesha butsalela ama-introverts kunye nesizungu - abantu abonwabileyo ukusebenza ngaphakathi kweentloko zabo ixesha elide.
Ngelishwa, kwihlabathi lanamhlanje ubugcisa obuhloniphekileyo bokuphazamiseka kwangaphakathi buye baxutywa yi-blizzard yeziphazamiso zangaphandle. Iikhompyuter zethu kunye neefowuni zisinika izinto ezinokucofa ezinomtsalane kangangokuba sihamba ngapha nangapha kukhuthazo, siphulukane nembono ngokukhawuleza kwento esasiyenza ekuqaleni. Phakathi kolu lonwabo kunye nomsebenzi wethu wokwenene, akukho mzuzu ushiye ukuphupha okuhle. Ukongeza, isantya sobomi bale mihla sibonelela ngamaxesha ambalwa okulinda kwendalo ngexesha apho amaphupha emini anokuqhuma. Sisakhwela iibhasi, oololiwe, neekhareji; sisalinde imigca kwaye sihamba ukusuka kwenye indawo ukuya kwenye. Kodwa namhlanje uninzi lwala maxesha sichitha imiyalezo, sidlala amagama nabahlobo, sibiza oomama bethu, okanye sijonga kuFacebook. Amaxesha okwenzeka ngengozi yokungaphazanyiswa ukuba wedwa ngoku kunqabile, oko kuthetha ukuba ukubhadula kwengqondo kuqhelekile.
Nangona kunjalo, izibonelelo zokuphupha kusafanelekile umzamo. Kwiphupha lasemini, ungenza isenzo sobugorha, uziphindezelele kwiintshaba zakho, okanye ufezekise impumelelo yezemali okanye yothando. Unokuba ngusaziwayo waseHollywood okanye uKumkani waseSweden. Okanye unokonwaba ngokulula iingcinga zakho ezizodwa. Amaphupha emini akanamida, kwaye ngenxa yokuba eyimfihlo ngokupheleleyo, akukho mntu unokukugweba ngomxholo wamaphupha akho. Yiloo nto eyenza ukuphupha emini kube mnandi kakhulu.
Ama-introverts anobudlelwane obuthile ngamaphupha emini, kwaye uninzi lwawo ziingcali kuwo. Kodwa ayililo lonke ixesha kunye nendawo efanelekileyo kulo msebenzi. Nazi izikhokelo zokuphupha ngempumelelo.
Ezinye iingozi zokuphupha usengqondweni
Ukulala
Uninzi lwexesha, ukubhadula kwengqondo kukhuselekile ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kukho iimeko ezimbalwa apho iingxaki zinokuvela. Iipateni zokujikeleza kwengqondo eziveliswe ephupheni lokulala ziyafana kakhulu nezo zivelisiweyo xa uvukile, kwaye ukuba udiniwe kwaye uhleli uzolile, iphupha lasemini kunokuba liphupha lokulala ngokulula. Kungenxa yesi sizathu le nto abantu abaphupha emini ngamehlo bavaliwe behlala bekwenza oko xa behleli phantsi okanye belele kwindawo ekhuselekileyo.
Isixhobo esiSebenzayo
Ukuphupha kusoloko kusenzeka ngokuzenzekelayo. Ngequbuliso uqaphela ukuba ingqalelo yakho ihambile ukusuka ekuhlaziyeni uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali lwesebe lakho ukuya ekucingeni ikhefu kwisiqithi saseMykonos. Uninzi lwexesha oku kulungile. Ukunyanzelwa komphathi wakho ukuba ugqibezele umsebenzi wakho ngexesha kunika inkuthazo eyoneleyo yokukutsalela umva ekungqungqeni elunxwemeni. Kodwa ukuba owona msebenzi wakho uphambili ubandakanya ukusebenza kwezixhobo ezinzima, ukuphupha kunganemiphumo emibi kakhulu.
Nangona kunjalo, ndinoluvo lokuba iingozi zokuphupha sele zibaxiwe. Kuya kuba nzima ukuxhasa eli bango ngobungqina obunzima, kodwa kubonakala ngathi uninzi lwabantu luyakwazi ukuphupha ngokukhuselekileyo. Thatha, umzekelo, ityala eliqhelekileyo lokuqhuba imoto. Ukuba uqhuba xa ujikeleza abantu — ujika, ume kwiirobhothi, kwaye uphepha ezinye iimoto — ingqalelo yakho iya kuba ngumsebenzi owenzayo, kwaye ukuphupha akunakwenzeka.
Kodwa ukuba uqhuba wedwa kumda omde wendlela ephezulu, iimfuno zakho ziya kuncitshiswa. Lo ngumzuzu xa abaqhubi behlala bevula umculo, i-podcast, okanye intetho yomsakazo. Ngenye indlela, eli lixesha elifanelekileyo lokonwabela iphupha elithuleyo. Kwiimeko ezininzi, oku ayisiyiyo inkxalabo yokhuseleko. Ukuphupha ngomso yinto engenazandla engenabungozi ngaphezu kokumamela unomathotholo kwaye ikhuseleke ngakumbi kunokuthumela imiyalezo okanye ukufowuna.
Ingxaki exhaphakileyo kumhambi ophuphayo uphela kwindawo obungazimiselanga ukuba kuyo - ukuqhuba ngqo uye emsebenzini xa ubumele ukuba ume kwizicoci ezomileyo, okanye ungene kwindawo yakho yobumelwane xa ufuna ukuya kwichiza ivenkile. Kodwa kubaphuphi abaninzi basemini le mingcipheko ayisiyothintelo kakhulu. Ukuphupha kusengaphambili kuyonwabisa kakhulu ukuvumela ukulahleka kukuyekise.
Iingozi ekuhlaleni
Abangaqhelananga nabahlobo
Ngokubanzi, iingozi zentlalo yokuphupha ziyingxaki enkulu kakhulu. Le meko ilandelayo iyinto eqhelekileyo: Usela nomhlobo wakho, kwaye okwexeshana iingcinga zakho zixakekile ngebali labo lokungcakaza kweengxaki emsebenzini. Uyanqwala kwaye unikezele nge-hmmm ngamanye amaxesha, ngokufanelekileyo. Ngesiquphe ingqondo yakho ikhukuliseka isonka esimnandi sakwaRuben ebesikhe sasemini. Ngaphandle kokuyiqonda, ushiye ibali lomhlobo wakho ngasemva kwaye ngoku uyacinga ukuba kutheni ukunxiba kwaseRussia kunambitha kamnandi kwisandwich kaRuben kodwa kungathelekiseki nakweyiphi enye into.
Imeko iba mandundu xa ushukunyiswa yingqondo yakho ngumbuzo ovele ngesiquphe kumhlobo wakho. Ngaba ikhe yakha yakwehlela le nto?
Ngokukhawuleza unamathele. Uyaqonda ukuba ubuxakeke kakhulu ngumbuzo wokuba ingaba ukunxiba kwaseRussia kuyavela eRussia na ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumsonto webali labo. Awunawo umbono otyhafileyo ngento ebethetha ngayo umhlobo wakho.
Ngenxa yobunzima obuqhelekileyo, kukho inani eliqingqiweyo lamacebo okufumana: Inkohliso, ukuphambuka, kunye nokuvuma.
Inkohliso. Kule meko wenza ngathi uwuqondile umbuzo kwaye uzama ukuphendula ngokungazibopheleli.
Friend: Ikhonto ikhe yakwehlela?
Wena: (ujonge phantsi ezantsi kwisiselo sakho kwaye uhlunguzela intloko kancinci kancinci.) Hayi, andicingi njalo.
Kule meko, impendulo yakho mayibe nguhayi, kuba ukuphendula ngo-ewe kufuna inkcazo. Ukuba, kwelinye icala, umbuzo weqabane lakho ngulo, Ucinga ntoni? eyona mpendulo yakho intle, andazi. Kunzima ukuyithetha. Umgaqo jikelele kukukhetha impendulo ephelisa ingxoxo ngaphandle kokufuna ukuphinda ubeke izimvo. Le ndlela inethuba elifanelekileyo lokusebenza, ngaphandle kwalezo meko apho iqabane lakho likwazi ngokwaneleyo ukuba likwazi ukuba unayo into onokuyithetha ngalo mbandela.
Ukuphambuka . Le yeyona dodge icace ngakumbi ebandakanya amanyathelo amabini. Okokuqala, kuya kufuneka uzithethelele. Umzekelo, unokuphakamisa umnwe ngendlela enokuthi ibonakalise ikhefu kwincoko; chaza ukuba kufuneka uye kwigumbi lokuhlambela; kwaye ubaleke ngokukhawuleza. Umnwe ophakanyisiweyo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yesicwangciso, kuba ibhola yencoko isandula ukuphoswa kuwe. Ngokufanelekileyo umnwe ophakanyisiweyo ngumqondiso ongathethiyo ukuba iqabane lakho liyakutolika njengoBambelela. Ndiza kubuyela kuwe malunga naloo nto, kodwa ndifuna ukuthatha ixesha lokuphuma kuqala.
Le nqumama kwisenzo iya kukunika ixesha lokuza nokuphazamiseka. Zama ukuhlala kude kangangoko kunokwenzeka, kuba ngokuya uhambile kuya kuba sengqiqweni ngakumbi ukuba uyakulibala isihloko ekuxoxwa ngaso.
Xa ubuya kwangoko thintela ukuphazamiseka kwakho.
Oh Thixo wam! Cinga ukuba ndibone bani nje? Awusoze uqikelele. UMeredith Cooper. Uyamkhumbula? Ukususela kumjuni wonyaka wehomeroom. Ebephuma nje ngomnyango. Kazi kwenzeke ntoni kuye?
Esi sicwangciso sokubanga ukubona umntu kwixa elidlulileyo ekwabelwana ngalo- okanye, kungenjalo, indumasi encinci- iya kuhlala iyisusa ngokusisigxina incoko. Naxa umhlobo wakho ebonisa ukuzimisela ukukubuyisela kwisihloko sokuqala, ixesha eloneleyo liya kube lidlulile ngexesha lokuPhambukisa ukukuvumela ukuba uthi ngokuqinisekileyo ulibele ukuba ubuthetha ngantoni. Emva kwexesha, xa ingxaki idlulile, ukuba unomdla wokuba iqabane lakho linokungqubana noMeredith Cooper kungekudala okanye ube nenye indlela yokuqinisekisa ibali lakho, ungathi, Ubuncinci, ndiqinisekile ukuba yayinguMeredith lowo, ngengxolo yokungaqiniseki kwilizwi lakho. Umqondiso ocacileyo wokuba awuqinisekanga konke konke.
Ukuvuma . Zombini izicwangciso zangaphambili zibonelela ngethemba lokubaleka, kodwa zombini zibandakanya ubuncinci inqanaba lokungathembeki. Ngenxa yoko, ezi ndlela zinokungabi nomtsalane kubantu abanekhampasi yokuziphatha okuhle. Kule meko, kunokuba yimfuneko ukuqesha uVumo.
Umzekelo, ungathi, Uxolo. Ndiyiphosile lonto.
Oku kukwamkelwa okulihlazo ngandlel 'ithile, kodwa kuthintela ukubakho kokuqhubeka kokusiqinisa isikhundla sakho ngokufumba ukunganyaniseki ngenxa yokungakhathalelwa. Uninzi lwabantu lunokukhetha umhlobo onganakekeli ngokunyaniseka kunomhlobo ongakhathali oleleyo ukuyifihla. Ngenxa yoko, abaninzi abaphupha emini bakhetha ukuliginya ikratshi labo kwaye bavume.
Ukuba wenziwe ngokufanelekileyo, Ukuvuma kuvumela ukuba ugcine isidima. Umzekelo, ibinzana endiliphosileyo elishiya unobangela wokuphelelwa lixesha okungaqondakaliyo. Ngekhe uve into eyathethwayo ngenxa yengxolo enkulu kwicala lakho okanye unokuba kwiyeza leentlungu elenza kube nzima ukugxila.
Ewe umhlobo wakho uyakuqonda ukuba ibinzana Uxolo. Ndikuphosile oko kubandakanya nokuba kungenzeka ukuba ubuphupha nje emini, kodwa ukungafani kwempendulo kusindisa ubuso benu nobabini. Uyakuphepha ukwenza uvumo olupheleleyo- ukuba ubucinga ngesandwich kaRuben- kwaye umhlobo wakho uyakuthintela ukujongana nokuba kungenzeka ukuba uyadika. Olu hlobo lwesimo sokuvuma izono lugcina inqanaba elisezantsi lokunganyaniseki kodwa, ngokoluvo lwam, liwela ngaphakathi kwemida yendibano yoluntu. Ngokungafaniyo neempendulo ezamkelweyo ngokubanzi kwimibuzo enje, Ngaba ezi bhulukhwe zindenza ndibonakale ndityebile? okanye Ngaba ucinga ukuba ndiqala ukubonakala ndindala?
Vala abahlobo kunye namalungu osapho
Nangona izicwangciso ezinje ngeNkohliso, ukuPhambukisa, kunye nokuVuma kuluncedo kwincoko nabahlobo abangacacanga okanye izihlobo, zonke izinto zokubheja zicimile kubudlelwane obusondeleyo. Abahlobo bakho abasenyongweni kunye nezihlobo zikwazi kakuhle. Kungenxa yesi sizathu le nto intetho yam katitshala webanga lesibini ihlekisa kangaka kusapho lwam. Kubudlelwane obusondeleyo, umntu ophuphayo ujongene neengozi ezimbini: 1) amava enza ukuba kube lula kakhulu kwiqabane lakho ukuba likubone xa ungasanikeli ngqalelo kunye ne-2) abahlobo abasondeleyo kunye nosapho bahlala bengakuqondi ncam malunga nokunyamalala kwakho kwincoko. Imbeko kwindibano yoluntu ngokukhawuleza iwela ekhaya.
Ngelinye ixesha okanye elinye, lonke ilungu losapho lindijongile ngokungakhathali kwinto ebebeyithetha. Kwincoko nomntu omthandayo, lo ngumzuzu ongathandekiyo, kwaye uxolo olukhawulezileyo kunye nokuzinikezela ngokupheleleyo kukuphela kweempendulo ezamkelekileyo. Uyazi ukuba ubanjiwe, kwaye kunqabile ukuba uzithethelele oya kwenza izinto zibengcono. Ngenxa yoko, ukuphupha akucetyiswa ebudeni bayo nayiphi na incoko, yaye kuyingozi ngakumbi xa uthetha nomhlobo osenyongweni okanye ilungu losapho.
Ewe kunjalo, ukunqanda ukuphupha emini ngexesha lencoko yinto ende yokungenisa. Ngokwenkcazo, abangeneleli bathanda umhlaba weengcinga zabo, kwaye ke, nakwiimeko zentlalo ezibalulekileyo, ilizwe langaphakathi liyakhwaza. Imemori yequbuliso yesandwich kaRuben inokuba sisiqalo sexesha eliyingozi.
I-Canvas yokuPhupha
Nje ukuba ufumane ixesha elimnandi kunye nendawo yokuphupha, iingcebiso ezimbalwa ziya kukunceda ukuba uphume ngempumelelo.
Iimvakalelo
Ukuphupha kusesemini kusebenza kakuhle xa ukwimeko entle kwaye ungenaxinzelelo. Ukuba ukhathazekile okanye ulusizi, iingcinga zakho zinokuthi ziyeke ukuya kubuvuvu obungenantsingiselo kunokuba ibe liphupha elimnandi. Kule meko, kungcono ukhethe uhlobo lokuphazamiseka kwangaphandle, njengencwadi, imuvi, okanye ixesha olichithe nabahlobo. Emva kwexesha, xa kubuya imo yezulu echumileyo, uvuyo lokuphupha kuya kuba lula ukulufumana.
Indlela yokuma
Ukuphupha kusenokubakho phantse kuwo nawuphi na umsebenzi, kodwa ezinye iindawo kunye nokuma kungcono kunezinye. Abantu abaninzi baphupha emini xa behamba. Oku kunokuba yindawo emnandi ngakumbi ukuba uphumile kuHambo, uhamba-hamba ungahambi ndawo. Ukuhamba kolu hlobo kuyilelwe ukuba kungakhathali kwaye kutyebe ekuvuseleleni ukubonwa, kwaye ukuba uwedwa, uhambo lulungele ukuphupha. Ngokwahlukileyo, iphupha elilungileyo alithandeki ukuba lizibonakalise ngelixa libaleka kwindlela exineneyo yaseManhattan.
Ukuma wedwa kunokuba lilungiselelo elihle lokuphupha. Unokwenza i-movie yangaphakathi ngelixa ulinde esitobhini sebhasi okanye emgceni wekofu yakho yasekuseni. Logama utyalwe endaweni enye kwaye akukho lindelo lokuba uza kwenza incoko, iphupha lokuma elimileyo lingangamava anelisayo.
Okokugqibela, bobabini bahleli phantsi kwaye bathambekele ekumeni kufanelekile ekuphupheni basemini, ngamehlo avulekileyo okanye avaliweyo.
Amehlo
Umbono mhlawumbi lolona hlobo lwendalo lwethu lubalaseleyo, kwaye into oyenzayo ngamehlo akho inefuthe elinamandla kwimpumelelo yeseshoni yokuphupha. Kubomi bemihla ngemihla, izinto ezinokufikeleleka ngengalo kunokwenzeka ukuba ziyalele ingqalelo yakho, kwaye kwiphupha lasemini, yonke into ngaphakathi kokubamba kwakho inokuba sisiphazamiso esinokubakho ekuphazanyisweni. Ngenxa yoko, nokuba uphi, kulula ukuphupha emini xa uphakamisa amehlo akho ngaphezulu kwezinto ezikungqongileyo kwaye ujonge kwindawo ekude. Okude kokukhona kulunge. Kungenxa yoko le nto abaphuphi basemini benobudlelwane obunje ngeefestile. Ndiqinisekile ukuba njengomfundi webanga lesibini ndiye ndenza eyona nto ndiyifunayo xa ndijonge efestileni.
Ukongeza ekuququzeleleni imeko yamaphupha avukayo, ukujonga umgama kunika uhlobo lwekhava yentlalo. Ukuba uwedwa, unokwenza nantoni na oyithandayo ngaphandle koloyiko lomgwebo, kodwa ukuba uphupha esidlangalaleni, into oyenzayo ngamehlo akho ibalulekile. Ngokucacileyo, ukujonga omnye umntu kufuneka kuthintelwe. Nangona kwihlabathi lanamhlanje le-selfies kunye ne-Facebook oxpxposure, ukujonga umntu esidlangalaleni ngaphezu kwexesha elikhawulezayo kunokucima i-alarm. Ke ukuba unethemba lokuphupha emini kwisikhululo sebhasi okanye kwivenkile yekhofi, kungcono ukukhomba ukujonga kude kwabanye abantu. Usiba kunye nepensile, ilaptop, okanye incwadi inokuba luncedo kwabo bazithandayo. Ukujonga phezulu kwezi zinto ukuya ekuphupheni kwemini kuya kungachazwa njengokucinga ngento ebalulekileyo esandula ukuvela kuwe. Into eqhelekileyo eyenzekayo.
Ikwangumbono olungileyo ukunqanda ukujonga izinto ezingasoloko zijongwa kakhulu. Umzekelo, ukujonga ezandleni zakho ezivulekileyo ixesha elide- okanye kwisiqwenga somthi osifumene kwijezi yakho- kuya kubonakala kumangalisa. Imithombo yeendaba isenze saphazamiseka ngabantu esidibana nabo emhlabeni. Ingozi yomntu ongekho ndawo ikho yonke indawo, kwaye uloyiko olungenangqondo luye lwanda. Ngenxa yoko, umthengi weStarbucks egxalabeni lakho unokucinga: Ngaba loo mntu angangumntu ophethe i-psychopath ogculela kumlo wobundlobongela? Ukuthintela olu hlobo lokurhanela kungcono ukuba ungajongi into engalunganga ixesha elide.
Okokugqibela, ukuba ukuxinekile, indawo engenafestile engenandawo intle yokuphumla, ujonga amehlo kuhlala kuyinto elungileyo. Kwindawo yokulinda isikhululo sikaloliwe, umntu ohleli ngamehlo avaliweyo uthathwa ngokuba uphumle okanye uyacamngca- zombini ezo zinto zingesisoyikiso. Ukuphela kwempazamo yokuvala amehlo akho ngumngcipheko okhankanywe apha ngasentla wokulala.
Njengabaninzi abazibophezeleyo ngokwazi, ukuphupha kungumsebenzi owanelisayo kwaye unokuba luncedo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, iphupha elingenangqondo, elikhokelayo lingakhokelela ekufumanekeni kwembono entsha okanye kwisisombululo kwingxaki ekhathazayo, kwaye phantse ngaphandle kokukhetha, abaphuphi babuyela kwinyani yobomi bekwimeko engcono kunokuba behambile. Kubalulekile ukulandela imigaqo embalwa esisiseko, kodwa ukuphupha kukuzonwabisa okukhuselekileyo kwaye kungabizi kakhulu esinokukonwabela sonke.
UStuart Vyse yingcali yezengqondo kunye nombhali Ukukholelwa kuMlingo: I-Psychology yeNkolelo , ophumelele imbasa yeWilliam James Book yeAmerican Psychological Association, kunye Ukuhamba ngeBroke: Kutheni amaMelika engakwazi ukubambelela kwimali yawo . Umsebenzi wakhe uvele kuMqwalaseli, IAtlantic , Iprojekthi yamadoda alungileyo , kunye Ithebhulethi . Ubhala i Ukuziphatha kunye nokukholelwa Ikholamu yemibuzo yokuthandabuza. Oku kubhaliwe kwavela kuqala kuPhakathi.
