Ifoto: Quinn Dombrowski / Flickr Kwiminyaka ethile edlulileyo Harper ’s ipapashe inguqulelo yencwadana yabakhenkethi baseJamani. Phakathi kwezona ngcebiso zakhe zinengqiqo kukuba xa amaMelika ebuza, Unjani? abalindelanga mpendulo nzulu ngembuyekezo.
Oku kuqatshelweyo kutyhila inyani ebalulekileyo malunga ne-psyche yaseMelika: igama lethu lokungafihlisi kunye nokunyaniseka kuthotywa ngokulula yimikhwa yethu yokusebenzisa kunye nokuqhuba impumelelo. Sifuna ukubonakala ngathi samkelekile kwaye siyakhathala, ngoko ngamanye amaxesha siyabuza Umbuzo ongenanto: Unjani? Kodwa inyani kukuba, sixakeke kakhulu. Asinakukwazi ukuhlawula ixesha lokwazi, ke siyathemba ukuba uza kuhamba nomdlalo wethu omncinci kwaye ungasikhathazi ngempendulo enzima. Elula, ndilungile, iya kwenza.
Ukwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi, ukungeniswa kuyenyuka. Endaweni yokusidibanisa ngakumbi-njengoko kwakukholelwa njalo-iteknoloji yanamhlanje isibonelela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokusebenzisa njengezithintelo phakathi kwethu nabanye abantu. Ngethamsanqa elikhulu kwabo bangathanda ukungabulisi mntu kwaphela, ngoku kunokwenzeka ukufihla kwimbonakalo ecacileyo ngokukhupha esinye sezixhobo ezininzi eziphathwayo esihamba nazo.
Le ayisiyonto imbi kwaphela. Ngaphandle kokuba ulilolo, ukuncokola nje nomntu ongamaziyo akunakufane kwenzeke. I-Introversion inendlela yokugcina uxolo kula maxesha anengxaki, kwaye izincoko malunga nobuhle bodwa ziye zaziwa kakhulu. Ndihlala ndihlala ndiziswa, kwaye njengoko ndikhula ndizifumana ndinomdla wokuthetha nabantu abangaqhelekanga endidibana nabo kwihlabathi elingaphaya kwescreen sam.Andiyiyo misanthrope. Andikhe ndikhohlakele ebantwini endidibana nabo. Kodwa amava andixelela ukuba, kwiimeko ezininzi, ndikhetha ezam iingcinga kunezezakho. Uxolo. Ayisiyonto yobuqu.
Ingxaki ye-introvert kukuba kukho inani elikhulu labantu emhlabeni, kwaye ngaphandle kokuba uvaliwe ngokupheleleyo, unyanzelekile ukuba udlule kwisihlwele amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ukuxubha nabanye abantu akunakuphepheka, kodwa ukuba ulumkile, ungahamba kunye nonxibelelwano oluncinci olunokwenzeka. Kwi-introvert, ezona ntlobo zinqwenelekayo zokudibana kukubaleka kunye noSmile. Ukusilela koku, uya kugwetywa kwiNgxoxo.
Abaphambukeli
Ukubaleka
Kwimeko yomntu wasemzini, akukho mfuneko yokuba ubulise umntu lowo. Ukuba ubeka intloko phantsi kwaye ubonakala ngathi ungxamile, unokuthintela rhoqo ukudibana kwenyani. Akusoze kubekho mfuneko yokwenza ngaphezulu, ngaphandle kokuba ngenxa yesizathu esithile utsaleleka emntwini kwaye ufuna ukuyolula intlanganiso-kunqabile ukuba ungeniswe. Ke, kwiimeko ezininzi, ukudlula ngokukhawuleza ngaphandle kokudibana kwamehlo okanye incoko kufanelekile.
Uncumo
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuba awunikeli ngqalelo, intloko yakho inokudada inyuke ukusuka kwinto ekhethiweyo ejonge ezantsi, ivumela umntu ozayo ukuba ajongane namehlo. Kule meko, kunokuba nzima ukunqanda uhlobo oluthile lokuphendula, kwaye i-The Smile ihlala ikukhetho lwakho olulungileyo. Ngenxa yeemeko, awunakuva kamnandi kulo mntu. Kungenzeka ukuba ubuncinci uyacaphuka. Kodwa uncumo luchaza ukuba konke kuhamba kakuhle kwaye nobabini ninako ukuqhubeka nale nto niyenzayo. Olunye ukhetho lwentetho, njengokufixeka, ukujonga, okanye ukungabinanto, kunokwenzeka ukuba kuvuse iimpendulo ezingalindelekanga kumamkeli kwaye zisongeze ukudibana. Kwelinye icala, ukuncwina kakhulu kubanzi kunokukwenza ubonakale ngathi uyakhasa. Ke uncumo olukhawulezileyo lolona khetho lubalaseleyo.
Incoko
Kwiimeko ezininzi zokuhlangana nabantu ongabaziyo kunokwenzeka ukuba uphephe ukuthetha konke konke. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu ujonge kuwe ngendlela ebethelelayo, okanye ukuba - njengoko kuhlala kunjalo njalo-umntu wasemzini ushukunyiselwa ukuba athi Hi, unamathele. Kangangokuba ungathanda ukunika ukungathethi ngomlomo-uncumo olungeyonyani olumnandi, umzekelo- kwaye ushiye umva, indibano yoluntu ifuna ukuba uvelise impendulo ngomlomo. Kule meko, kungcono ukubonelela ngokufutshane, Molo, ngokubuyisela. Yiba nobubele kodwa uqhubeke ubonakala uxakekile kwaye uphazamisekile. Qhubeka uhamba, ubaleke ngokukhawuleza kangangoko unakho.
Phantsi kwazo naziphi na iimeko akufuneki uvumele ukuba ubuze lo mbuzo ungenanto, Unjani? Kwilizwe lanamhlanje, kuyimpazamo elula ukuyenza, kodwa ayimfuneko kwaphela. Umntu ophambi kwakho ngumntu wasemzini. Awunyanzelekanga ukuba ubakhathalele okanye ubuze ngokusebenza kwabo ngaphakathi. Ukuba wenza isiliphu esiqhelekileyo, usandula ukuwela umda phakathi kwe-introvert kunye ne-extrovert, kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba uzuze ilifa lonke isilingi kunye neentolo umhlaba olilifa olilifa lawo.
Zola uzolile. Ukuba unayo into oyithethayo kwaphela, yithi, Molo, kwaye uyiyeke. Uya kubaleka usazi ukuba ukuthobisile ukuthembela kwakho kwinto yokuzalwa engeyonyani.
Kwelinye icala, umntu wasemzini uyangena nawe kwincoko, usebenzisa umbuzo ongenanto okanye enye into yokungcakaza ngomlomo, ubanjiwe. Le yeyona ngozi ixhaphakileyo xa usemgceni kwiSebe leZithuthi. Kule meko, olona khuseleko lulungileyo kukukhupha iselfowuni okanye imagazini ngaphambi kokuba iqale incoko. Ukuba ujongeka ngathi ufunda, unokukuphepha ukunxibelelana nabo bonke ngaphandle kwabona bantu bangaziwayo.
Abangaqhelekanga
Ukubaleka
Kwimeko yokuqhelana okungacacanga, ukubaleka kunzima kakhulu. Masithi usevenkileni, kwaye ujonge kwicandelo lemveliso, ubona ibanga lonyana wakho le-2 - okanye ibanga lesi-3? - utitshala. Awulikhumbuli igama lakhe, kodwa ukhumbula okumbalwa ngumbutho wakho wangaphambili. Ngaphandle kokuba unemvakalelo efudumeleyo ngutitshala, le yimeko yokuncamathelana enokuthi ikhokelele kwintlanganiso engathandekiyo.
Ukubaleka kunokwenzeka kuphela ukuba uqinisekile ukuba umntu omaziyo akakhange akubone ukuba ujonge kubo. Kule meko, gcina intloko phantsi, jonga ukuphazamiseka, kwaye ushiye loo ndawo ngokukhawuleza. Ukuba awukwazi ukushiya kwangoko kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba uphinde ungene kwindawo oqhelene nayo evenkileni, kuya kufuneka ulumke kakhulu-njengempimpi okanye umcuphi wabucala. Gcina iliso ngaphandle ngelixa ugcina indawo yokufunxa okukhulu kuyo nayiphi na into ekufutshane. Iselfowuni inokuba luncedo kakhulu kulo mzekelo. Yishiye loo ndawo ngokukhawuleza.
Uncumo
Ukuba uyasilela ukufezekisa i-Escape, into elandelayo elungileyo kukuba ubaleke Uncumo. Zininzi izinto ezenza ukuba kube nzima ukuhamba. Nokuba abantu obaqhelileyo bangaziva bengonwabanga xa usilele ukuthetha nabo kwintlanganiso. Ngapha koko, ukwazana okungacacanga luluhlu olunemida yolwelo kunye nokungalingani. Ngokuya ndisiba mdala, ndiye ndifumanise ukuba abantu abaninzi baziva besondele kum kunokuba ndibaziva. Mhlawumbi sisebenze kunye kwindawo ethile yokuphambanisa kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, okanye sakha sahlala kwindawo enye kwaye sabonana rhoqo. Ixesha elincinci liyadlula, kwaye kungekudala ndibashukumisile aba bantu ukuba babe kwinqanaba lolwazi olungacacanga. Ngelishwa, ndinoluvo lokuba isiqingatha-sobomi sokwazi sisekude kwabanye abantu kunokuba sinjalo kum, kwaye uninzi lwaba bantu luyaqhubeka nokucinga ngam njengesiqhelo - endaweni yokungaqhelani.
Yonke le nto inokwenza kube nzima ukubaleka ngoncumo nje. Ukuba umntu omaziyo uziva enobuhlobo kwaye unethamsanqa elibi lokudibana kwamehlo, kunokuba nzima ukubaleka ngaphandle kwengxoxo emfutshane. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ukude, ungaphuma kunye noNcumo. Umzekelo, unganethamsanqa lokuba kwicandelo leziqhamo kufutshane nomnyango wevenkile ngelixa umntu omaziyo ekwicandelo lamatswele kunye neetapile. Kule meko, kungathatha umzamo omkhulu ukuwela iiphaseji phakathi kwakho kwaye uqalise incoko. Kuya kufuneka uzame ukugcina ukwahlula malunga neenyawo ezimashumi mathathu kwaye unike inkangeleko yokuba ungxamile. Ngethamsanqa, usenokukwazi ukuphosa uncumo olufutshane kodwa olubanzi kwaye mhlawumbi ube ngumtshangatshangiso kwicala lolwazi, olulandelwe kukuphinda uqhushumbe ubusi wevusi.
I-Wave inokuba yinto yokungcakaza eluncedo ngakumbi apha kuba amaza, ngenkcazo, unxibelelwano kude. Bayakhula xa kunzima okanye kungenakwenzeka ukuvala umsantsa ophakathi kwabantu, kwaye babonakalise ukuba ukuntywila kufudumele kwaye kunobuhlobo kodwa akukho njongo yokusondela. Ungathemba nje ukuba ukuba uyancuma kwaye uyalusa ngelixa ujonge ukrwitshiwe kwaye ungxamile, omnye umntu uya kuziva ebuliswa ngokufudumeleyo kodwa adimazeke ukusondela. Kunzima ukwazi ngokuthe ngqo ukuba wenzeni, kodwa xa ujongene nokudibana okungathandekiyo, isingeniso phantse sisoloko sizama ukufikelela ngoncumo kwaye mhlawumbi nomtshangatshangiso.
Incoko
Ukuba konke okunye kusilele, kunokuba yimfuneko ukutshintshiselana ngamagama okwenyani nomntu ongaqhelananga naye. Ingxaki yam kukuba amaxesha amaninzi andimkhumbuli umntu, kwaye naxa ndisenza njalo, bendiya kukhetha ukuba nonxibelelwano oluncinci kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ukuba unethamsanqa, unokufumana ngokudikidiki, Molo, kunye nokujika okukhawulezileyo ube sisihlalo esineziqhamo. Kodwa ukuba ukhonkxiwe ngaphandle kokuphuma ngokulula, kuya kufuneka usebenzise Umbuzo ongenanto: Unjani? Ngokwesivumelwano senkcubeko, lo mbuzo uhambisa inkxalabo ngelixa elinye uqinisekisa incoko emfutshane. Ukuba uyayisebenzisa, unikezela kuhlobo lokuxoka okungathandekiyo. Nangona kunjalo, kwisingeniso esixakekileyo, Umbuzo ongenanto yinto eluncedo yaseMelika.
Abahlobo
Ukubaleka
Ngokwenkcazo umhlobo ngumntu owonwabileyo kwaye unethemba lokugcina ubudlelwane. Ngenxa yoko, unokutsalwa ukuba ubulise umhlobo wakho ngokwenyani, usenza ukuba uMbaleki ungafuneki. Ngapha koko, ukubaleka kuyingozi ngakumbi kule meko. Ukuba umhlobo wakho uyabona ushiya kwaye ubona ngathi uzama ukubaphepha, unokonakalisa ulwalamano lwenu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho iimeko - ngakumbi izethulo - xa ukhetha ukungazibandakanyi nomntu ongumhlobo olungileyo. Kodwa ukusebenzisa ukubaleka kule meko akukhuthazwa. Endaweni yoko, nikezela ngombuzo ongenanto, mhlawumbi uqinisiwe ngamanye amagqabantshintshi. Ukuba ulumkile, ungalawula ubuqhetseba bobabini bobuhlobo obunokwenyani kwaye ujongeke ngokungxama. Ukuba uphumelele, uya kubugcina ubuhlobo bakho ngelixa ubaleka ngokukhawuleza. Oku kuninzi-okanye kuncinci-njengoko kunokulindelwa xa udibana nomhlobo.
Uncumo
Kwakhona, nabahlobo bokwenyani, uSmile-nokuba udityaniswe ne-Wave-ayinakwanela ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle. Ukuba ungxamile kwaye unethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo lokuba ukude, ungasebenzisa iSmile, mhlawumbi esidityaniswe neLiza, kodwa kungcono wenze inqaku lengqondo lokucela uxolo kwixesha elizayo xa ubona umntu. Isicwangciso esingcono kunokuba kukubandakanya incoko emfutshane enomdla wokugcinwa kwabahlobo.
Incoko
Ukuba umhlobo ngumntu ohlala wonwabela ukubaleka kuye, akufuneki kubekho ngxaki. Kwaye ii-introverts zinabahlobo, kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi, sinokuba nenxaxheba kwincoko yobuso nobuso. Ngenxa yoko, isikhokelo sencwadana yabakhenkethi baseJamani ayifuneki, kwaye isingeniso sijonga kwaye siziphathe njengaye nabani na.
Inqaku lokugqibela
Ndiva abanye benu besithi, Ngubani onika ikit? Kutheni ndikhathalele nje into yokuba umntu wasemzini okanye umntu endingamaziyo ecinga ngam? Kwaye, ewe, ukwamkela esi simo sengqondo lukhetho olunokubakho. Libala ngayo yonke le calculus yoluntu. Qhubeka nje kwaye uvumele iichips ziwe apho zinokuthi ziye khona. Nangona kunjalo, i-introvert ayifumaneki ukuba lukhetho olunomtsalane. Kweli hlabathi lanamhlanje, umntu ozihambela kude nezithethe zentlalo kunokwenzeka ukuba atsale ingqalelo. Abaphambukeli banokuphikisa indlela oziphethe ngayo, kwaye abantu oqhelene nabo nabahlobo bakho banokungakuthandi-akukho namnye kubo obhenela umntu ongenisayo. Kwilizwe elingenisiweyo, izinto zisebenza kakuhle xa abantu benoluvo oluhle ngawe kwaye bekushiya wedwa. I-introvert ikhetha ukungabonakali, kwaye eyona ndlela yokufezekisa ukungabonakali kukugcina iliso elibukeleyo, uqaphele imeko ekuyo ekuhlaleni, kwaye usebenzise iindlela ezimbalwa ezilula zokungena nokuphuma ngokukhawuleza. Ama-introverts anika ikiti.
UStuart Vyse isayikholojisti nombhali Ukukholelwa kuMlingo: I-Psychology yeNkolelo kwaye Ukuqhekeka: Kutheni amaMelika engakwazi ukubambelela kwimali yabo . Esi siqwenga savela ekuqaleni Phakathi .
