Umhlekisi uMarc Maron wema emva kwesigcawu esikhanyayo seglasi enxibe i-tuxedo kunye nembonakalo ethandekayo. Ngaba sele ndibhombile? Ubuzile isihlwele esimnyama-ngeqhina ngomhla wama-28 kweyoMsintsi iNew York Friars Club eyosiwe ngeChevy Chase, emva kokuxelela isinuka.
Ukuhleka kweTepid kwaphakama kwi-Grand Ballroom yaseHilton. Wayenempendulo yakhe.
Eyoyikisayo. Mkhulu, utshilo uMnu. Ndingowokuqala ukuba kungabikho mntu uphakama apha kunye netanki.
Ekupheleni kokuhlwa, uMnu.Maron wayenokufumana intuthuzelo ekuqondeni ukuba nangona wayengoyena mntu wokuqala kwitanki kumboniso wonyaka we-Friar wopha igazi elihlekisayo, ngokuqinisekileyo wayengenguye owokugqibela. Ubuchule bokungaphumeleli bekuhlala kuyinto ephambili yesikhalazo esiyintloko. Umxube wabantu abathile uhlekisa ngendlela emangalisayo kwaye abanye abantu bebhombu bayinxalenye yoxinzelelo lokosiwa, utshilo uBill Hilary, usekela-mongameli olawulayo kunye nomphathi jikelele weComedy Central, uthungelwano lwentambo ekube kule minyaka mihlanu idlulileyo belubonisa imisitho kunye nokusasaza Inguqulelo ehleliweyo, ehambileyo.
Kodwa le roast yagqitywa ngokwahlukileyo. Umnumzana Hilary, owayekwi Hilton ngoSeptemba 28, uvumile ukuba abanye abantu baqhushumbe ngendlela endingazange ndibabone ngayo ngaphambili. Ewe kunjalo, nangona i-roast yayinamaxesha obuchule bokuhlekisa, okokuqala kwithuba elide yayilawulwa kukuziphatha kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, imbi kakhulu. Ukongeza kuMnumzana Maron, uAndy Kindler kunye noKevin Meaney bafika ngeendudumo ezingakholelekiyo, kunye nenani labanye abahlekisi-uGreg Giraldo, uGreg Fitzsimmons-babesoyikeka.
Ukuba bekukho enye intsingiselo ebalaseleyo enokufunyanwa phakathi kokugcuma, ukuthula okungonwabisiyo kunye nokubila, ibiyile: ubugcisa bokugcoba-ukukhupha indoda ngokudibanisa umdlalo, umsindo kunye nenyaniso-yayisifa. Umngxunya wokuvelisa uvulelekile phakathi kwabahlekisi abadala abafunde indlela yokubulala kwiiklabhu zasebusuku ezinokutshaya kunye neeFriars Roast zabucala ze-60's kunye ne-70's, kunye nezizukulwane ezincinci ezikhulele kunyango kunye neendlela zekhebula, zilambele italente mhlawumbi t ibukhali njengokuba inokuba njalo. Kwaye njengoko iikhamera zeComedy Central zaqengqeleka ngoSeptemba 28, loo dissonance yabonakala.
Kodwa uncedo lusendleleni. Nge-30 kaSeptemba, uFriars dean Freddie Roman uxelele i-The Braganca ukuba wayesekwinkqubo yokulungiselela iisemina ezintandathu ezazizakubanjwa ekuqhubeni konyaka ozayo ukuze kufundiswe abahlekisi abancinci beklabhu ukuba bajongane njani ne-roast.
Ndifuna nje ukubafundisa ukuba baye kwinqanaba elilandelayo, utshilo uMnu.Roman, owongeze ukuba uza kusondela kwabo bangoo roastmasters abanjengoBuddy Hackett, uDick Capri, uJeffrey Ross kunye nabanye ababulali ukuze baqeqeshe ii-comic plebes. Ngelishwa, kuya kufuneka ndibekho kuninzi lwabo, watsho.
Umnumzana Roman ucacisile ukuba iisemina ziya kunika iimpondo eziluhlaza isikhokelo sendlela yokulungiselela ukosa, nokuba ungoyikiswa njani eqongeni. Ezinye izikhombisi: Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba uphuma nini, utshilo. Ngamanye amaxesha uyabethwa kwaye uya kuthi, ‘Ndiza kuhlala eminye imizuzu emihlanu.’ Kwaye emva koko usegumbini langasese.
Kwaye Mnumzana Maron, qaphela. Omnye umthetho wokuba ii-Friars vets ziya kufundisa, ngokuka Mnu.Roman: Awunakuphuma uye kubaphulaphuli uthi, 'Ndingena etankini apha.' Awunakuyibeka loo ngcinga kubaphulaphuli ingqondo.
Kwelinye icala, oko kunike umsitho uhlobo lwesymmetri ehlekisayo kunye neendwendwe zayo zembeko. Umsebenzi kaMnu Chase wawunamaxesha obukrelekrele-ngakumbi ngexesha lomsebenzi wakhe wokuqala kobusuku bangoMgqibelo ngokuPhakathi kwiminyaka ye-1970- kodwa ikwangulawulwa kukuziphatha (iindima kwimidlalo bhanyabhanya phantsi koMnyama, oh, Inja yaseZulwini ! kunye neMemoirs of a Invisible Man) kunye nokubi: iiveki ezintandathu ezinde njenge-Fox-show host.
Kwelinye, lenze ukuba umsitho uhlala kunzima ukuhlala kuwo. Njengoko u-roaster Todd Barry watsho ngexesha lakhe eqongeni: Kubuhlungu nje xa oyena mfo unetalente kwi-Chevy Chase roast ngu Chevy Chase.
Kwaye mhlawumbi yile nto yayifunwa nguMnu Chase. Kwiintsuku ezilandela ukugcotywa, amalungu amaFriars ayakhalaza esithi uMnu Chase wayengenguye ofudumeleyo okanye uninzi lwentsebenziswano yamakhosi, nangona ingomnye wamalungu amabini kuphela-uMilton Berle ongomnye-oye wagcotywa kaninzi.
UChevy wabeka i-pall kuye wonke umntu ngaphambi kwento egcadiweyo, utshilo elinye ilungu eliphezulu le-Friars, elongeze ukuba ukusweleka kukaMnu Chase kobushushu kwaboyikisa abanye abahlekisi abancinci ababenobudlelwane obuncinci okanye bengenabo kwaphela.
Kodwa ukuphoxeka kukosiwa kwalo nyaka kuphakamisa ukuba iComedy Central kunye neFriars bafikile kwindlela enqamlezileyo. I-Friars dais kulo nyaka ibonakele ibhuqiwe ngamagqala amabi kakhulu. UFrars Abbot u-Alan King wayefanele ukuba lapho, kodwa kuyacaca ukuba waphoswa yindiza yakhe. UDick Capri, obulele kwiminyaka edlulileyo, wehliselwa kubaphulaphuli. UJeffrey Ross, umhlekisi oselula osebenza kwisitayile esidala kwaye ebekhe wabethwa kwizoyilo ezine ezilandelelanayo, wayengafumaneki ndawo. Kwaye uGilbert Gottfried, owayenabantu abakhohlela amaqhakuva emiphunga xa egcadiwe kunyaka ophelileyo, wayehleli nje phezu kwethala elifana nesilayidi selokhi kwi-tux emhlophe.
Ukumelwa konogada abadala bawela kwindoda enye, uFriars Dean Freddie Roman, obefanele ukuthwala ubunzima beprostate kunye neziqhulo zamagumbi okugcina umphunga eziphosakeleyo kumagqala. I-roastmaster yangokuhlwa, uLate Show kunye no-David Letterman umphathi-bhanti uPaul Shaffer, babenezinto ezintle: UFreddie waqala ukufumana udumo xa yena no-Icarus babhabha, uxelele isihlwele, esongeza ukuba uMnu.Roman ubemdala kakhulu Abemi bakaGallo basebenzisa iesile lakhe. yesela yewayini.
Isivumelwano seminyaka emihlanu seComedy Central sokusasaza i-roast ibeyintsikelelo-mali nangenye indlela-kwiKlabhu yamaFriars, kodwa ikwafika nokubanjwa kweMephistophelean: Eyona nto iphambili kwisitishi se-cable yi-18-34, nanjengoko uMnu. UHilary uxelele uMqwalaseli, Siyawudinga lo mxube mncinci. Xa ebuzwa ukuba ijelo alisenamdla na kubahlekisi abadala abaziyo indlela yabo yosiwe, uMnu Hilary uqale wathi: IAl Franken ayisiyonto mncinci kangako. Emva koko kudliwanondlebe, wongeze wathi: Ndiyakuthetha inyani. Andifuni ukuba umboniso ungabalulekanga kubemi bethu.
Kodwa uMnu.Hilary, ofuna kuphela ukugcwalisa imizuzu engama-40 yexesha, uthe: Sinomboniso omkhulu. Lo mboniso uza kuqala kwi-Comedy Central ngo-Disemba 1.
Umnumzana waseRoma uvumile: Kwakungeyiyo eyethu eyosiweyo kwaye kwakungeyona nto ibalaseleyo kuthi. Kodwa ngenxa yomlingo wokuhlela umabonwakude, iyure iya kujongeka iyinto ehlekisayo.
Akukho mntu wayecinga ngetanki xa i-Friars roast Mr. Chase yaqala. Ukucheba, ukuba ngwevu kukaMnu Chase, ejonge kancinci njengoHunter S. Thompson kwityhubhu yakhe nakwizibuko zelanga ezingangenekiyo, kwakhokelwa kwimaruni yakhe enkulu iBarcalounger. Wayejikelezwe ngumsinga omkhulu owawugcwele ngumdali we-Oz uTom Fontana, abadlali be-Oz uChris Meloni kunye noDean Winters, umdlali we-tennis uJohn McEnroe, umfazi wakhe, owayesakuba yirocker uPatty Smyth, umdlali weqonga uTony Lo Bianco kunye nento eyayibonakala ngathi sisiqingatha somvuzo kuDavid. Inkampani kaLatterman's yeblukhwe yeLizwe liphela: Umvelisi kaEd uRob Burnett, kunye neenkwenkwezi ezimbini zomdlalo, uJulie Bowen noLesley Boone; Umvelisi weLate Show uMaria Pope, umlingisi weLate Show ofudumeleyo uEddie Brill kunye neLate Show band. Ngaphandle kukaLaraine Newman kunye no-Al Franken, akukho mntu uvela kwi-SNL.
Isithethi sePantshi yeHlabathi liphela sathi iqela liphume laya kuvuyisana noMnu Shaffer. Kanye njengokuba wayenzile erostini kaRichard Belzer kunyaka ophelileyo, uMnu.Shaffer wazibonakalisa ewufanelekele lomsebenzi.
Umnumzana Shaffer, ongomnye weWallendas ye-parody ye-showbiz, wavula ngokuhlwa ephelekwa yi-bevy yamantombazana ekwayara enxibe iimpahla ezibomvu ezinemiphetho emnyama.
Indoda ifumana isiseko esifanelweyo / Hayi indlela ebuhlungu ngayo idayis, uMnu Shaffer croro.
Ooooooooooooooh, zahamba iitshomi zamantombazana.
Ubiza lo ngumboniso? / Ungayosa njani indoda xa kungekho mntu uza kuhamba / / I-Jack-shit ye-dais / Ibuhlungu kangakanani i-dais / Iyabetha!
Emva koko uMnu Shaffer uthathe into encinci kuye. Ndiyazi ukuba ucinga ntoni / Ngubani uShaffer oza kuthetha? / Lo mfo ufumene umsebenzi wakhe / Ukuncancisa umqhagi weLeta.
Kodwa emva kokuzingca, umnumzana Shaffer wenza ngathi unomsindo. Njengokuba umculo wawusadlala, wahambisa isikhohlisi esikrakra sokubonisa ubukrakra: Ewe, kulungile, fuck you-fuck nonke, ubuncinci ndifumana itsheki. Ndinyanisile kakhulu. Ningahamba niyokuziqhula nonke, ndide nditsho- Amantombazana eekwayari amngqonga kwaye amthula.
Ungacinga, nangona kunjalo, uChevy ebeya kuba esenza ngcono kunaye, utshilo uMnu Shaffer. Wayenxibe i-tux emnyama, i-tie emhlophe kunye nezibuko zelanga. Intloko yakhe echebe kakuhle yayikhazimla ngaphantsi kwezibane zikamabonwakude. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ungomnye wamalungu ambalwa athe ngqo e-Hollywood Mafia athandana naye. I-gay Mafia ifana neMafia yokwenyani ngaphandle kwebinzana elithi 'ulala neentlanzi' libhekisa kwiwele lika-Anne Heche.
Kwenzeka ntoni kwikhondo likaChevy? Umnumzana Shaffer wazibuza, emva koko waphendula wathi: Ndingawuphendula lo mbuzo ngeegram ezintathu.
Ndimele ndikuxelele ukuba kubi kakhulu ukuba uChevy akathandwa kwelinye ilizwe, njengoJerry Lewis useFrance, utshilo uMnu Shaffer. Cinga ngale nto, naseKorea apho batya izinja ezimnandi abasacingi ukuba uyahlekisa. Bacinga ukuba uyathandeka, abacingi nje ukuba uyahlekisa. Ngokwenyani abacingi nokuba uyathandeka.
Ubuso be-poker bukaMnu Chase bangcatsha.
EMantla okanye eMzantsi, wabuza uMnu Shaffer. Yayiyinto yokuqala yokuthintelwa kuka Mnu Chase ukuphosa abo babemthuthumbisa.
Umnumzana Shaffer wamhlutha emva koko wahlasela i-dais. Uchonge abadlali be-Oz, Mnu.Meloni kunye noMnu Winters, njengamadoda amabini ahlala rhoqo ngeCawe ebusuku ehlaselwa ngokumashushu eshawa, emva koko baya kumbonisa umboniso. Uye wathi wayenamagama amabini kubuntu beNethiwekhi yokutya uBill Boggs: Kutheni?
Emva koko yabuyela kuMnu Chase. Umnumzana Shaffer wathi umfazi wakhe, uJaney, wayengekho egumbini. Uvuthela uMike Myers ke uya kunika uChevy umsebenzi kumfanekiso wakhe olandelayo. Ukuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle, i-Chevy inokuqhuba loo midget mncinci ukubuyela umva uye kwindawo.
Xa ukuhleka kuyehla, Mnu.Shaffer wehla ubuhle beshishini lokuqhula ngaphakathi: Ungathini ngale ncwadi intsha yangoMgqibelo ebusuku, utshilo. Babeburhabaxa kwiChevy. Andikaze ndibone mntu utya ikaka kangaka ukusukela kwibhayiloji kaDanny Thomas.
Kodwa, Mnu.Shaffer wongeze: Ngobu busuku, konke malunga nothando.
Umgcini wereastor emva koko wazisa uMnu Franken njengomfana oneebhola ezinkulu. Ngelishwa, bakwisilevu sakhe kwaye bangabakaCedric uMonwabisi.
Kuya kufuneka ndinike i-Chevy ikhredithi, utshilo uMnu. UChevy Chase ukwisiqhulo sokuba yintlekisa. [Joe] Piscopo, umzekelo, akayifumani.
Kodwa ndicinga ukuba igalelo elibalulekileyo elenziwe nguChevy kuluntu lwethu kukubonisa abantu indlela yokujongana nengxaki yokuxhomekeka kwimichiza, utshilo uMnu Franken. Ndiyathetha, kunjalo, ngomzabalazo wobuqhawe kaChevy ngokuchasene nokulutha kwakhe kwiipilisi zangasemva.
Ngenxa yokunyaniseka kuka Mnu Chase malunga nokulutha kwakhe kwiipilisi zasemva, uMnu Franken uthe: Ndicinga ukuba baninzi abantwana apha phandle, uChevy, abathi ngenxa yenu bajongane nemiqolo yabo ngokuzolula, ukuphakamisa ngamadolo abo nokulala umatrasi oqinileyo kuba boyike ngqo emva kokubona into ephindwe kabini ye-Under The Rainbow kunye ne-O, Inja yaseZulwini!
Ephawula ukunqongophala kwamagama amakhulu kwi-dais, Umnumzana Franken uthe: Kukho isizathu soko. Oko kukuthi iChevy ibisoloko iyinto enekratshi. NguPaul, uLaraine, uBeverly kwaye andizange ndimbambe, ngokungafaniyo noSteve Martin, Marty Short, Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Lorne Michaels, Goldie Hawn, Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, Christie Brinkley, Randy Quaid kwaye ngokucacileyo ngumfazi wakhe .
Umnumzana Franken wathi xa wayehlala phantsi ukubhala intetho yakhe egcadiweyo, wacinga: Mhlawumbi ukugcoba iChevy phantse kube lula kakhulu. Ndiyathetha ukuba kukho ubutyebi bezinto ekufuneka zilandelwe, imiboniso bhanyabhanya emibi, intetho ebangela iintloni ebangela iintloni, iziyobisi. Umsebenzi wehla kwimibhobho. Kodwa ke ndicinge ukuba mhlawumbi akukho lula kakhulu. Mhlawumbi oku kuya kuba yinto enzima. Ngenxa yokuba isiseko esisiseko sayo yonke into eyosiweyo kukuba phantsi kwayo yonke into ehlekisayo, isithunzi esinexabiso eliphantsi kwikhondo lomfo, iintsilelo zobuqu…. Ngaphantsi kwayo yonke loo nto, kuhlala kukho umxholo wothando lokwenene kulomfo kwaye andazi mntu apha othanda uChevy.
Ngokuka Mnu.Shaffer, UNks. Newman wayefanele ukuza apha eHilton nokuba atshabalalise iShriner. Kwaye sonwabile ngokuba esenza umsebenzi ophindwe kabini ngokuhlwanje.
UNksz Newman, ekhangeleka ngathi wayenomsebenzi omncinci ukusukela kwiintsuku zakhe ze-SNL, uxelele isihlwele ukuba wayembe idayari yakhe kumaxesha akhe okuqala kumdlalo. Ngomhla wakhe wama-2 ka-Disemba 1975, kwincwadi ebhaliweyo: Dayari endiyithandayo. Umboniso ukhathazwa lilishwa. UDanny wayenekhefu lengqondo. U-Belushi ulahlekile kwaye uLorne wasuswa nge-polyp kwikholoni yakhe. I-biopsy ibonakalisile ukuba i-polyp yayinyani yayingu-Chevy phezulu kwe-esile lika-Lorne.
Umnumzana Shaffer uyithandile. Isikhalo somntwana wakhe sokuhleka kunqamle ingxolo emhlophe yesihlwele.
Ukusuka apha, i-roast yathatha impumlo-yokuntywila. Ukuba u-Todd Barry-Ukuba bendingumlawuli weqonga kwindawo yokubonela isidlo sangokuhlwa eWilmington, Del., Bendiya kuba nolwakhiwo ngoku-ndenze ngokuhloniphekileyo emva koko uMnu Meaney, inkwenkwezi ye-sitcom ehlala ixesha elifutshane uMalume Buck, wehla ngokulingana neFat Man kubaphulaphuli. Umnumzana Meaney uthe ibingowokuqala ukugcoba kwaye akukho sizathu sokumthandabuza. Ngokucacileyo, wayecula uguqulelo lweWinter Wonderland kuMnu Chase otshintsha njengoJohnny Mathis noEthel Merman. Ngaxa lithile, waxelela isihlwele: Kumnandi xa unakho ukubulela ngokwakho umntu kubaphulaphuli ngokuhleka.
Inqanaba lokuzithemba labuyela egumbini xa uRichard Belzer wangena endaweni kaMnu Meaney. Umnumzana Shaffer wamazisa ngelithi kwi-Law & Order: kwiCandelo eliKhethekileyo lamaxhoba, uMnu Belzer udlala uDetective Munch. Wongeze uMnu Shaffer: Andinasiphelo kule joke, yinto nje, into, into uRosie O'Donnell.
Umnumzana Belzer waphikisa ukuba uMnu Shaffer ujongeka ngathi uvuthela iMoby.
UMnu Belzer akazange abulale ngokuchanekileyo. Ukudubula kwakhe kuMnumzana uChase-bendimazi uChevy xa ephantse walunge-wafumana impendulo edikidiki. Kodwa akazange abonakalise uloyiko kubaphulaphuli. Sukundinika ukuhleka ngokuhleka kuba ndiza kuphuma nge-limo yam ndize ndifumane i-blowjob kwimizuzwana emihlanu, utshilo uMnu Belzer xa isiqhulo sikhamisile. Ndingumfana kinda akufuneki ndifumane ukuhleka kwe-fuckin, ke kungcono ubumbe i-fuck up ngoku. Oko kwamenza waqhwatywa izandla.
Ihlaya lesibini likaMnu Belzer malunga noMnu Chase lalilungile. Utata kaChevy wandixelela ukuba xa uChevy wayeseyinkwenkwana wayedla ngokuphulula amalungu esini kakhulu kwaye ngenye imini utata wakhe wambamba ephulula amalungu esini wathi, uqhubeka usenza loo nto, kwaye ngolunye usuku uza kuba ngumlingisi kwiFletch Lives.
Uninzi lwezithonga zikaMnu Belzer ezazigcinelwe uMnu King, kodwa kuba engabonisanga, uMnu Belzer wazisebenzisa kuMnu Roman. Andifuni ukuthi ungumntu ohlekisayo, kodwa uJack Ruby wayenomsebenzi omde kumabonakude, utshilo uMnu Belzer.
Inkwenkwezi-nkwenkwezi kaMnumzana uChase's Beverly D'Angelo wayelandelayo. Umnumzana Shaffer uxelele isihlwele ukuba umdlali we-blond, okhangela i-zaftig encinci ukusukela ekuzaleni kwakhe amawele, wayesandula ukuntywila amazinyo akhe kwenye yezona ndima zibalulekileyo zomsebenzi wakhe. Kodwa kwanele malunga neqhude likaAl Pacino.
UNks D'Angelo uqinisekisile ukuba angayitya kwaye ayithathe. Uye wacula ingoma encinci ethi ukuba ibinesihloko esithi andinakukwazi ukuFuck ngaphandle kokwehla eluthandweni athe yinkcazo awayeyisebenzisa ukugxeka inkqubela phambili kaMnu Chase kwiiseti zazo zonke iimuvi zeholide. Andikwazi ukuhlala ethanjeni ngaphandle kokufuna ukuthatha ifowuni / Ukuthi, Mama, ndifumene uMnu. kwahamba amanye amazwi. Ndidlala isidenge emva kokuba ndidlale ngesixhobo, ndaya ezinye.
UGreg Giraldo uxelele uMnu.Roman ukuba lilungelo elikhulu ukuba nenxaxheba naye. Ngokuzenzekelayo, unyana wam oneminyaka emibini naye wabelana ngeqonga nawe, wongeze watsho. Elo nqanaba apho uyala ukunxiba i-diaper yakho kodwa awungekhe uyeke ukuzibetha ngokwakho.
Inhlanhla yam yokubhanqa, inqwelomoya ka-Alan King yayisemva kwexesha, utshilo uMnu.
UStephen Colbert, umbhaleli weComedy Central's Daily Show wayevukile ngokulandelayo kwaye wanikezela nge-ribored, ironic ribbing of Mr. Chase eyayivakala ngathi yinto onokuyifunda kwiNew Yorker. Ngokuqinisekileyo wayelilungu lohlobo olutsha.
Ngokubhekisele ekusebenziseni iziyobisi, ke le ndiyithethayo, utshilo uMnu Colbert. Uninzi lwabadlali, mhlawumbi uninzi kule dais apha, basebenzise iziyobisi ukubaphumza, ukubenza bazithembe, ukubenza bahlekise. Kwaye ukuba kukho ichiza elinokwenza iChevy Case ukuba ihlekise, ndiye nditsho ukuba sisiyobisi esimangalisayo. Kwaye isitya esityibilikayo sayo nayiphi na into esisiyobisi kufuneka siziswe kule dais kwaye sinyanzelwe nguKevin Meaney.
Umnumzana Colbert waqukumbela icandelo lakhe esithi angathanda ukunika isilumkiso kancinane kwabanye abantu ababeza kugalela uMnu. Chase. Ngaphambi kokuba umhlasele, cinga, utshilo. Kunokuza umhla kwelona xesha lakho limnyama xa usisithunzela sakho, nokuba usisiqwengana sephepha. Kwaye xa ufikile loo mhla, ndiyathemba ukuba uyayivuyisa into eyathethwa nguMnu Chase. UnguChevy Chase kwaye awunguye. Ukuba oko akukonwabisi, andazi ukuba yintoni eyakwenza.
I-schtick kaMnu Colbert yayikude kangangoko unokufumana kwi-joke yesiqhelo, kwaye yayicocekile, kodwa yamkelwe kakuhle-Oko kwakulungile, utshilo uMnu Shaffer xa egqibile.
Kodwa indlela yakudala yayingafanga njengokuma kukaLisa Lampanelli ngokungxama. Ubizwa ngokuba ngumnqamlezo phakathi kukaDon Rickles no-Archie Bunker, Mnu. Shaffer ngendlela yokwazisa. Kodwa ngobulungisa… unepenisi ekhangeleka incinci kakhulu.
Kuyinyani, ndinayo enkulu. Kwaye ndiza kukuncancisa uPaul, utshilo uNks.Lampanelli owayekhangeleka ngathi ngumntu owela u-Edie Falco ngohlanga lwama-Amazon. Ndiza kukubetha njengentsimbi yesidlo sangokuhlwa kwiPonderosa. UNksz Lampanelli emva koko walumkisa uMnu Shaffer ukuba ukuba bayadibana, uyakubambeka kwimpundu ye-esile lam. Uye waxelela ne roastmaster ukuba qho xa ndikubona kwi TV, iyandikhumbuza ukucoca i-dildo yam.
Emva koko UNks Lampanelli uthe ngoNkosazana D'Angelo: Kuyabonakala ukuba, uAl Pacino uthanda ivumba lomfazi omdala. UNks Lampanelli ubuyele kuNks D'Angelo kunye ne-chemistry yakhe noMnu Chase kwimifanekiso yeholide. Andizange ndiyibone i-chemistry enjalo ukusukela oko uRosie O'Donnell wakhupha uTom Cruise ngentambo yakhe. Ngapha koko, kumnandi ukubona uRosie O'Donnell, watsho, emva koko wongeza: Oh, nguFreddie Roman lowo. Ulandelo lukaNks. Lampanelli kwi-Friars Dean: UFreddie Roman ulapha. Amasende akhe aya kuba lapha kwimizuzu engama-20.
Kwaye u-Nks.Lampanelli wongeze ukuba iVegas Vegas yayitsala ngaphezulu kuka Pamela Anderson ngexesha lokufowunelwa.
Emva koko uNks.Lampanelli wenza into awayeyibiza ngokuba sisiphelo sakhe esinyanisekileyo.
Njengoko iqhawe lam, uDon Rickles angatsho, uburharha obuhlekisayo bujolise ukuba sihleke ngokwethu. Senze iziqhulo ezininzi, kodwa awunakufa ngokwenene, ukuba akukho nto iyenye ngaphandle kwendima yakho eCaddyshack kuphela. Kunene? uthe. Kwakukho ihlombe kubaphulaphuli.
Emva koko uNks.Lampanelli ubonise ukuba kutheni engayi kuzimasa i-roast primer yenyanga ezayo. Isizukulwana emva kwesizukulwana, siyakuhlala sikukhumbula njengomfana ekufuneka sihlale phantsi ukubona uBill Murray.
Mfana, Mnu Chase uthe xa kugqityiwe konke. Umnumzana Shaffer wahleka yintsini yakhe, emva koko, njengoko uninzi lwerasta, lwathabatha amaqhuma abo. Ngayo yonke inyani uPaul, andikuthandi kakhulu kunoDavid Letterman, utshilo uMnu Chase. Ukuba ndifuna ukumema inkqayi, umdlali wepiyano ongumYuda ukuya endlwini, ndiza kubiza uMadeline Albright.
Kodwa kufutshane nesiphelo Umnumzana uChase wavakala ngathi uyinto ebonakalayo-ebonakalayo njengoko umntu onje Mnumzana Chase enokuba njalo. Yayibuhlungu, watsho. Bekuziva ngamanye amaxesha njengezinto endizicingayo ngam… Ndiyazi ukuba konke bekukho xa bekucatshulwa kumnandi, kodwa inkwenkwe kunzima ukuba ndim xa unazo ezinye zezo mvakalelo. Kwelinye icala, nize nonke ngokuhlwanje, utshilo.
Emva koko wajonga amanye amanqwanqwa. Kwaye andicingi ukuba uze kubabona.
