UBruce wothukile, WOTSHA, zizityholo zikaKim (Screengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Kulungile, ke ngeli xesha iphambili le-recap iya kuqala kwangoko; qikelela ukuba besinengxaki… ukuhambisana neKardashians :(.
Kwaye ngubani ongekhe? Itoni yenzekile ukusukela kwixesha lesithoba le Ukugcina kunye neeKardashians isongelwe. UKim Kardashian kunye noKhan West baba yimidlalo yefashoni eqinisekisiweyo, uKendall Jenner yeyona modeli iphambili, kwaye uBruce Jenner uzingela i-transgender. (Akaphumi ngokusemthethweni okwangoku, kodwa yonke imithombo engaziwayo ichaza ewe.)
Kodwa inkulumbuso yexesha le-10 ijongana ngqo ne-zero yezi zinto zokwenene zobomi bukaKardashian-Jenner. Kakhulu, abantwana bajongana nokuwa koqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali babo, kwaye uKim unqwenela ukukhulelwa inombolo yosana yabo .
Kwindawo yokuvula, oodade baxhonywe kwenye yeeklasikhi zabo zokuhamba ezi-zillion ezine. UKourtney ukwimeko yobushushu; U-Khloé, njengaye nawuphi na udade olungileyo, umbuza ukuba uphakamisa iesile lakhe.
I-tapeworm, uKourtney uyaphendula. Ndinganika nantoni na ukuze ndifumane intshulube.
Siphawula ukuba uKendall naye ujinga egumbini lokuhamba kunye noodadewabo abathathu abadala; oku kubonakala ngathi luphuhliso olutsha. Ngokwesiqhelo, kubakho ukwahlukana phakathi kwamantombazana aseKardashian kunye nepipsqueak Jenners ethandekayo. Guess wakube udibene noCara Delevingne kunye noKatie Grand ufumana ukuxhoma kunye ne-dawgz enkulu. (I-Poor Kylie inomgca omnye kuphela kwi-ep yonke, kodwa siya kuyifumana kamva.)
UKim ulele ebhedini emva kokubambisana, kwaye omnye udade uyambuza ukuba kutheni. Ukuhambisa uJulianne Moore kwi IBig Lebowski enkulu, Ucacisa ukuba yena kunye noKyan babonisile kwaye baxoka ngale ndlela kwandisa amathuba okukhulelwa . Ukugqitywa, uKourtney noKhloé benza i-Kardashians 'elinganayo ne-Dude's spit take. Kwakhona, ukuba ngenene nje uyenzile, waya phi uKhan? 
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kutheni kungenjalo (Screengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Emva koko, sinendawo yokulahla ebonisa ukuba uKim uzibuza ze ze athathe ifoto, kodwa ingeyiyo eyamaphephancwadi, eyokuhlekisa nje. Ndenza lo mfanekiso namhlanje ndihamba ze, uyachaza. Ndifuna nje ukuthimba umzimba wam kwaye ndinazo ezi foto zihlala ngonaphakade. Iinkwenkwezi, zifana nathi.
Kodwa kutheni uKim elele phantsi nje @lungelo_lungelo Ukujongana nobuso ebusweni bakhe? Njengoko kuvela, uKim u-ovulating; I-Kanye i-ninja yesidoda iye YABUYEKA kwakhona ukumfaka ngobushushu kwaye yanyamalala kuloo ndawo.
U-Mario unyanzelisa ukuba wayesazi ukuba uKim ebebethwa kuba esiya kwigumbi lokuhlambela (kwakhona, akukhankanywa ukuba uKhan ubonwe nangubani na) kwaye waphuma nokukhanya okuhle, okusikhumbuza ngale nto yomlingo. Umjongi ikholamu malunga nabahlobo abahlawulwayo.
Mhlawumbi ndizama nje kakhulu, uKim uyancwina. 
Kourtney, ukhulelwe into encinci (Ifoto: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Okulandelayo, uKourtney kunye nomntwana ngoku ubizwa ngokuba ngu-Reign Aston (ayisiyonto intle ukuba igama labantwana bakhe lifumana ngokuthe ngcembe i-nouveau riche njengoko uthotho luqhubeka?) Ndwendwela indawo yokuhlala isidanga sika-Bruce eMalibu. Thixo, ukhulelwe into encinci, ndizakwenza ntoni ngawe? Ubuza uKourtney ngelixa emcinezela, nto leyo intle.
UKourtney noBruce baxoxa ngobunzima boqhawulo mtshato kunye nokuba ingaba usapho lwabo luya kuhlala iBizarro Brady Bunch bekusoloko kunjalo (hayi amagama abo ngqo).
AbakwaJenners bakwelinye icala, amaKardashiya kwelinye icala, kwaye embindini mdala mncinci kum, uBruce uyalila. Njengokuba uKourtney elungiselela ukuhamba, uthi, Enkosi ngokungandenzi ndizive ngathi ndingaphandle.
UKris udibana nomhlobo; bobabini ngokudibeneyo bajongeka ngathi ngoonodoli be-Bratz abasemva kokuyeka ukuya exesheni (hayi isithuko). Ndiziva ngathi ndihlala nabazali bam, uKim noKhan, abagada yonke into endiyenzayo, uKris humblebrags. Uthi uziva enetyala ngokufuna ukuqala ubomi bakhe emva komtshato. Umhlobo ufana, sry, bb. 
Ugqirha kaKim ngumdlalo olungileyo (Screengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Emva koko, sinendawo entle apho uKim enxibelelana nengcali yezonyango. UKim uvumela ubuntu bakhe ukuba bukhanye ngeli xesha lonyaka, nto leyo ethetha lukhulu kuba uninzi lwabantu mhlawumbi khange luqonde nokuba unalo. Ukutshata noKyan kubonakala ngathi kuye kwamkhupha kwigobolondo lakhe. Andikhathali nokuba umntu uthini, abo babini base-lurrrrve.
UKim udada iithiyori ezimbalwa ugqirha wakhe.
Ukuba sinesondo elininzi kwaye sifike ngqo xa siphuma [iqanda], iya kuba yintombazana, akunjalo? Ubuza watsho.
Ndicinga ukuba yinto eyintsomi, utsho ngembeko ngelixa engenzi nto nge-ultrasound-ing her fallopians.
Ndine-psychic, kunye nomlungisi weenwele kanjalo Ingqondo, ndixelele ukuba izakuba yinkwenkwe, uyaqhubeka.
Ndicinga ukuba mhlawumbi ingama-50-50, ugqirha utsho ngokwasemthethweni.
Emva koko, ekugqibeleni sifumana ulungelelwaniso esinokuntywila kulo. UKourtney useBruce kwakhona; ukusukela nini ezi zibini zibalaseleyo? UBruce uthi ucinga ngokufudukela kwindlu entsha, Emva koko, ufumana umnxeba kwaye uKourtney angaxelela umntu kwelinye icala ukuba ngumhlobo kaKris. UBruce uqala ukuthetha ngelizwi eliphezulu elingenambeko-esenza loo nto bayenzayo ootata xa besazi ukuba babanjwe besenza into engalunganga. UKourtney unjalo kuye .
Ke le ngu kakhulu Umzekelo ongaqhelekanga wamabali eendaba e-Kardashians abonisa amaxesha abo eendaba kumabonwakude. Sikhokelwa ekubeni sikholwe ukuba uBruce usenokungathandani nomhlobo osenyongweni kaKris Jenner. Asisokuze sifunde igama lakhe; ikhutshiwe lonke ixesha amaKardashians esithi. Andiqinisekanga ukuba kutheni, ngokusemthethweni, kuya kufuneka bayenze le nto. Nantsi lapho ubungqina bevidiyo ukuba eli bhinqa kunye noBruce, ngokwenene, baya kwikonsathi ka-Elton John kunye. Inkqubo ye- Imeyile yemihla ngemihla Nditsho namagama akhe: URonda Kamihira.
Nazi iindlela ezimbini kuphela endinokucinga ngazo zokuchaza ukuba kutheni igama lomfazi lingakhange lithethwe ngokuvakalayo AmaKardashians , ngaphandle kolwazi loluntu kuye nabani na onokufikelela kuGoogle:
1. Akayena umhlobo osondeleyo kaKris Jenner, kwaye ubuhlobo buye baqulunqwa ukuze bube buqili.
2. Unobumdaka obukhulu kwiKardashian-Jenners kwaye ukuba basebenzise igama lakhe, ngewayesiya kwiithebhu kunye nalo.
Ndibhankisha kwinombolo yesibini. Enye into engaqhelekanga: intsingiselo kukuba uBruce unokuba nobudlelwane bezothando no [BLEEP], alias Ronda. Njengoko sonke sisazi ngoku, uBruce akangomntu uqhawule umtshato oneminyaka eyi-65, kuba ngoku (kwaye wayenelo xesha) kwinkqubo yokutshintsha abe ngumfazi. Oku akuthethi ukuba akanakuthandana nomnye umfazi, ewe. Yongeza nje olunye umaleko wemfihlakalo kunye nokuthandabuza kuyo yonke le meko ingaqhelekanga, ikhutshiweyo. Kwaye akukho mntu unobuganga bokuyilungisa.
Nangona kunjalo, uKim uvula indawo ekhitshini likaKris ngokubuza ngokuthetha ngo-Khloé, othanda isikhonkwane, uzisula njani? UKourtney emva koko ukhupha into eyenzekileyo xa esiya kubona uBruce:
Xa ndandilapho, [BLEEP] kwabizwa.
YEKA, uKim noKhloé bathi.
Amantombazana ayavuma ukuba le nto iphazamisekile. Kunzima ngokwaneleyo ukugcina usapho kunye, kwaye oku akuncedi, utshilo uKim.
Emva kwekhefu lezorhwebo, amanenekazi aseKris ekhitshini kwakhona kwaye uKourtney uthetha ngento egcweleyo, kunye nokuthanjiswa kobufazi kuyakhankanywa. Kutheni le nto iiKardashians kufuneka zivule yonke indawo Ngentetho ephambeneyo yeentshulube zentshulube, ukusinga kwilungu lobufazi kunye nokusula iimpundu ngaphambi kokuba benze nantoni na? Ngaba olu luhlobo oluthile lwenyani yokubhala iTV 101 yokwenza izinto zibonakale zendalo ngakumbi?
UKris ungena kwaye uhambisa iplagi encinci ecocekileyo yencwadi yakhe yokupheka (uNicole Brown Simpson nachos, nabani na?) Ngaphambi kokuba uKourtney axelele uKris ukuba uBruce ufuna ukuhlala naye kuba uyayithanda inkampani yakhe.
UKim, owayesoloko egxotha imbiza, engenelela, Ngaba wayetshilo ngaphambi okanye emva [BLEEP] ukubizwa?
[BLEEP] ubiziwe ?! UKris uphendula umva. Ezinye izinto ziyenzeka, kwaye uKris uthi, Awungekhe ulahle iminyaka engama-25 kwaye wenze ngathi khange yenzeke.
Okulandelayo, sibona uBrody noBrandon, abazenzele amalungiselelo alo mboniso nokuba siyathanda okanye asithandi, kunye noBruce. UBrandon kunye noBrody bafuna ukucwangcisa uhlobo lwe-bachelor ye-bachelor ebuyela emva ebhiyozela uqhawulo-mtshato. Ubonakala ngathi akonwabanga.
Masikhe sifumane ‘oosiyazi,’ uBrody, oneminyaka eli-12, ngaphambi kokuba achaze ukuba umntu ocekethekileyo sisilayi nesigubungelo. 
Enye ye-Khloé's 87-in-closets (Screengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Kwindlu kaKhloé, uKim ungena kwaye uthi, ndandonwabile xa undithumelela loo imeyile malunga nekhabethe lakho. UKhloé uthi, Nguwe hayi ukucoca ikhabethe lam. Kwaye babethana omnye komnye baze basukele omnye komnye ukuya kwelinye ikhabethe lokungena. UKim uchola isihlangu esinzulu kunye neephedi zokufa ezinje, Uneenkumbulo ezintle, eurlgh!
Emva koko, bahlala phantsi kwigumbi likaKhloé okanye elinye icandelo lendawo yokuhamba; mhlawumbi indawo yokungenela egumbini lokuhlala?
Ndiyakuthanda ukuba uphile ubomi bakho wedwa ngeli xesha ebomini bakho, utshilo uKim. Ukuba nayo yonke into incasa yakho.
Ukubuyela kukaKim kuphazanyiswa kukuhlanya kukaKhloé; ufumanisa ukuya Imeyile yemihla ngemihla ibali malunga noBruce ethatha i-brunette eyimfihlakalo Ikonsathi kaElton John. Njengoko kuvela, t Imfihlakalo brunette [BLEEP]!
UKim noKhloé bayavuma ukuba kufuneka baxelele uKris ngalo mhla ngaphambi kokuba aziqonde yedwa. UKim uyibiza ngokuba ngumhla; unendawo. Ukuba ukuya ekhonsathini kaElton John kunye kunye nokujinga kwiKhandlela eMoyeni ngelixa ubambe ii-iPhones zakho ezikhanyisiweyo ayingomhla, andazi ukuba yintoni.
Amanenekazi nawo afumanisa ngesicwangciso samakhwenkwe sokwenza itheko likaBruce, kwaye bagqiba kwelokuba kufuneka baphose enye yeKris. Esi sicwangciso sesi kakhulu UBrady Bunch. UKim uza nomxholo waseHawaii: UKris J ufuna iLei.
Emva koko, uKim ungena ekhitshini likaKris kunye netreyi yovavanyo lwe-ovulation egutyungelwe yipee. Ngokuhlekisayo uScott ucinga ukuba ziimvavanyo zokukhulelwa kwaye uKourtney ukhulelwe kwakhona; UKourtney kuphela komntu onokukhulelwa ngelixa ekhulelwe, utsho. UKim uxakanisiwe ngenxa yokuba ugqirha wakhe kunye ne-app tracker yexesha lakhe kunye ne-buffet yakhe yeepee stick bayamxelela izinto ezahlukeneyo malunga nokuba uyayikhupha okanye ayiyondli.
Ewe, uKhloé kunye neFrench Montana bahlukana. Zzzzzzz. Ususo oluhle.
Usisimumu, utshilo uKourtney. Andikwazi ukuchitha ixesha ndikunye nabantu abazizidenge ngolo hlobo kwakhona, ke nceda ungazisi esinye isidenge. Oku kucebile, kuvela kumntu owayecinga ukuba uKris uqambe igama ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwisizini ephelileyo. Ke kwakhona, uKourtney ngu ikholeji yentsapho kuphela; kufuneka eyazi ikaka yakhe.
Amantombazana aya kwivenkile yokutyela kwaye ajijisane nombono wokuxelela uKris malunga noBruce kunye [BLEEP]. UKim uba ngummeli wabo we-de facto, kwaye uthatha isigqibo sokuthetha noBruce.
Kwivenkile yokutya enesiqhelo, uBruce uthi angathanda ipasta kuba ubomi bakhe bulula.
Ukhohlisile, utshilo uKim, emxelela Uyazi malunga nekhonsathi . 
Obu bubuso obenzayo xa Yazi malunga nekhonsathi, uBruce (Iscreengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Ngaba ngokwenene ucinga ukuba ndithandana nabani? UBruce uyabongoza. Kukho umxholo othile ophambili owenzekayo apha.
Andikhathali nokuba wenzani, utshilo uKim. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba ekubeni ngumhlobo kamama wam, unetyala kumama wam incoko. Umama uhleli ekhala khona busuku ngabunye malunga nendlela umhlobo wakhe anokuyenza ngayo le nto kuye.
UBruce uthi akadingi kuchaza ubudlelwane bakhe nakubani na; UKris akazukundixelela ukuba ndingubani kwaye ndingenako ukuxhoma nabani.
UKim uphinda athi iimvakalelo zikamama wakhe zibuhlungu kwaye uKris ufanelwe ngcono.
Emva koko, uKim ulele embhedeni kwenye indawo yokuhamba kwaye uxelela uKhloé noMalika malunga nengxoxo yakhe noBruce.
Inqaku alikho ngokwesondo okanye nantoni na, utshilo uKhloé. Kukho umthunzi.
UScott noKourtney baseVegas kwinkangeleko yeklabhu yaseScotland, kwaye uCousin Cici odidekileyo ukhona, njengoJenners. UKourtney ubamemele kwisidlo sangokuhlwa njengomboniso wobumbano. UCici ubhekisa ku- [BLEEP] njenge-chickadee entsha, ngubani onokubonakala edolophini? Ishiywe ingacacanga.
Kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, uScott uthi kuBrody kunye / okanye noBrandon, awucingi ukuba iipopu zakho maziphume ngokuhlwanje kwaye zifumane amanqaku ngomsila?
Njengokuba kunjalo kulo lonke ixesha apho abantwana bakaBruce benza into enkulu malunga nokuba ungubhuti ongatshatanga, uBruce uphazamisa nge, Iphi i-tequila?
UBrody, i-asshat engunaphakade, uveza into yokuba uKim noKyan abamenyanga intombi yakhe kumtshato wabo eParis. 
NGAPHANDLE KWAYO (Iscreengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Brody, yiza, utshilo uScott.
Akukho mntu ukhathalayo ukuba bendikhona, Brody whines.
UBruce uxela ukuba u-Brody waya emtshatweni kaReggie Bush, owayesakuba nguKim, kungekudala emva koko.
Beka uKanye noReggie kwisakhiwo esivuthayo, cinga ukuba ngubani endimthathayo? UReggie yonke indlela, utshilo uBrody. Ewe, Brody, ukuba umntu ukubeke kwaye ngokoqobo naphina uKardashian-Jenner kwisakhiwo esivuthayo, nkqu neBurt, nditsho noRob , thelekisa ukuba ngubani oza kuba yitowust.
Ethetha ngoBurt, wenza ukubonakala okungaqhelekanga ukubuza uKourtney ukuba axelele uRob noKhloé wathi ndlela ntle. Ummm, kulungile.
Emva koko, emva eKris's McMansion, usapho luxoxa ngetyala eligcinekileyo likaBrody ngaphezulu kwentombi yakhe engamenywanga emtshatweni.
Kusenjalo? Khange ndivume nokuba uKhloé eze nomhla, utshilo uKim. UKim ulungile, akufuneki uvumele iirandi emtshatweni wakho ngenxa yokuba zihamba ngokuthe ngxi nomntakwenu oneminyaka eli-9 ubudala. UKim uthi ekuvumeni kwakhe ukuba akasiqondi isizathu sokuba onke amakhwenkwe aseJenner azama ukuthatha icala.
Emva koko, kwi-vestibule ye-walk-in closet yomntu, uKendall wazisa uKhloé ukuba uya eBruce kwiLoose, iqela labaselwandle labafana baseJenner kutata wabo. U-Khloé ukhetha, kwisivumo, ukuba bekungayi kufaneleka ukuba amantombazana aseKardashian abe khona. Unyanisile.
U-Khloé uxelele uKendall ukuba amehlo akhe abukeka emhle ngokwenene namhlanje.
UKylie ujonge phezulu kwifowuni yakhe ngemillisecond. Zijongeka zimdaka, utshilo. Lo ngumgca wakhe kuphela kwisiqendu. 
Ya ujongeka ulungile, uKris (Screengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
Emva koko, amantombazana ahlanganisa ndawonye iKris J ifuna iqela leLei; Bonke balibala ukuthumela abahlobo bakaKris imiyalezo kwaye babameme. (Ngokunokwenzeka, ishedyuli yokudubula ayisebenzi.) UKris ufunda indlela yokwenza umdaniso we-hula, kwaye uKhloé utyhala uKendall echibini. KUPHI UROBI?
Emva kwexesha (okanye mhlawumbi usuku olwahlukileyo, okanye mhlawumbi ngaphambilana? Ngubani owaziyo?), UBruce uza kuthetha noKris malunga nezi zinto zibubudenge zokuthandana kunye neetafiley zobudenge. Unxibe izihlangu ezibini ezahlukileyo, utshilo uKim.
HOLA !!! UBruce uthi kuKris, ahlawule ngokugqithileyo, kwakhona ngendlela enetyala lotata. Ndigula kakhulu kwaye ndidiniwe ngabo bonke aba bantu bathi ndithandana nabantu. Ndingaba nabahlobo. Akukho mntu unokundixelela ukuba ngoobani abahlobo bam.
Unokuba nabahlobo, kodwa akukho nto, uKris uthi, kwaye kufanelekile oko . Yiza, Bruce, baninzi kakhulu abanye abantu onokuhlala nabo, uyayonwabela inkampani ye [BLEEP] kakhulu?
Blah, blah, blah, bayaqhubeka nokuthetha, uBruce uthi uyaxolisa ukuba wenze uKris azive kakubi. Ugh.
Unenkani kwaye uyacaphukisa, uKim uxela. Ndinga i ukuba ndanditshate nawe.
Ukufa? Utsho uBruce. Uya kufa? Ndingafa ukuba nditshatile. 
I-humdinger yokwenyani ye-BBQ (Screengrab: E! Ekwi-Intanethi).
Ngexesha elinye ixesha, uThixo uyazi ukuba ngaba obo busuku okanye usuku olulandelayo okanye iveki elandelayo, uBruce kwiqela laseLoose ukhupha ubushushu bakhe elunxwemeni lwaseMalibu olungalindelekanga. Kuyinto engathandekiyo kuba abantu bahlala bekwenza konke malunga noBruce ehamba phambili kunye nokufumana ~ zonke iintlobo zomsila ~ kwaye ufana no, Errrr…
Emva koko, oodade baseKardashian bakhupha uBruce baye isidlo sasemini ukubonisa ukuba bayamxhasa nangona bengakhange baye kwitheko lakhe. Kumakhulu KUWTK isiko, indawo evula uKim evakalisa ukuba uye exesheni. Ubuncinci ngeli xesha, nangona kunjalo, kukho inqaku kwintetho yangasese; oku kuthetha ukuba akamithi. Qhubeka.
Kulungile ukuba nawo onke amantombazana am apha, utshilo uBruce. Ndifuna nje nonke ukuba nazi ukuba ndingathanda kangakanani ukuba nani ebomini bam. Ndifunde lukhulu kuwe, ngethemba lokuba ndikufundise okuninzi. 
Owu, hei uKylie (Screengrab: E! Kwi-Intanethi).
KONKE KULUNGILE! Isiphelo. Kule veki izayo: Wonke umntu uthetha ngendlela abakhathazeke ngayo ngoRob; kungakho ungenelelo lwabucala, nkqu; Kwaye uKim ufuna nje ukuphatha abantwana bakhe, dammit!
