NgoLwezihlanu ezimbalwa emva, iveki yomsebenzi yadlulisa i-baton kumhlobo wayo wakudala ngempelaveki ngendlela eqhelekileyo: Usuku olude eofisini lufikelele esiphelweni ngeyure yokucinezelwa kotywala kunye nabasebenza nabo kwindawo yentselo, ilandelwe yityheli cab endibeka kufutshane nendawo endihlala kuyo i-East Village, ekhokelele ekuqhubekekeni kokuhambahamba phakathi kweebhloko ezintlanu okanye ezintandathu-ukuvumela, ngokwendalo, ithuba elingaphandle lokuhamba ebusuku kwindawo yokuntywila ebumelwaneni.
I-cabbie indikhuphe ndaya kwindawo emanzi, e-clammy, embi phakathi kobusuku kwi-12th Street kunye ne-Fourth Avenue. Imvula ethoba umoya yanyibilikisa yaza yagxininisa — ngendlela eyoyikisayo, mhlawumbi — isixeko esibi. Ingxaki ngemozulu edandathekisayo kukuba ngekhe ubek 'ityala nabani na.
Kwaye, njengoko kuvela, ingxaki ngokuthatha ipilisi yakusasa-njengendoda-lo mbhali wayifunda ngokwakhe ngobo busuku-kukuba ekugqibeleni, nguwe kuphela ekufuneka ubekek 'ityala.
Makhe ndikucacisele.
Ndandihamba kwisitalato i-10, ndihamba kamnandi ndiphepha amadama amdaka, kwaye ndinamaqhuqhuva, ngaphandle ndisoyika amadoda aphuma ngaphandle kwiibhegi zokulala, xa-wham! ukubona. Ndonwabile ndatshintshelwa kwindawo yabo-abahlobo babesedolophini, yayisisizathu sokubhiyozela. I-Chelsea yandimemela endaweni yabo, apho iqela laliqala khona.
I-soirée yayilixesha elidala elimnandi, ngaphandle kokunqongophala kwabafazi abaninzi abangatshatanga, nto leyo eyakhokelela ekubeni ndingene nzulu eStolichnaya. Iziselo zaphucula iziqhulo kunye nezimvo zopolitiko kodwa, kubonakala ngathi, zinefuthe elibi kwisigqibo sam esihle. Urhwebo olufanelekileyo, akunjalo? Hayi xa iSicwangciso B sihlala kwiibhotile zepilisi zokulala, nditsho!
Kwakungathi izinto zihamba kancinci ndabe ndiqonda ukuba andinazo izitshixo zendlu yam. Ndisilele ukubalanda kumhlobo wam wasekhaya uTeddy, endandibaboleke yena, kwaye ngoku ilixa lalisemva kakhulu. U-Chelsea wandimema ngesisa ukuba ndijoyine i-sleepover eyayiza kwenzeka kwigumbi lakhe lokuhlala. Ndabulela ndaya e bathroom.
Kwakukho, ngoxolo lukajohn, apho ndadibana khona ne-vial. Ambien, yayifundeka, ethi engqondweni yam ichaze unyango olunobuchule-konke kuye nakwiimeko ezimbi zokulala. Ndaphuma ndaza ndazisa ngokufanelekileyo i-Chelsea malunga nokuphanga kwikhabhinethi yakhe yeziyobisi.
U-Chelsea, ndiyathemba ukuba awunangxaki, kodwa ndathatha i-Ambien, ndatsho, ndingenantloni okanye ndinentloni.
Ubuso bakhe bamhlophe. Uthathe ntoni?
Omnye wama-Ambiens wakho, ndithe, ndisazama ukukhusela iintloni okanye iintloni.
Hayi, mfondini, abo babengengabo ama-Ambiens, kwafika impendulo. Leyo yayisiCwangciso B.
Ndakhe ndaliva igama elithi Plan B, kwaye ndinenkcazo engacacanga ukuba yeyiphi na into eyenzelwe ngabafazi. Kristu! Ndingenza ntoni? Ayinakulunga loo nto.
Ndiziva ndonwabile ngengomso, utshilo u-Chelsea. Kuya kufuneka uzame ukuphosa.
Ah, phosa phezulu, ndacinga. Akukho ngxaki. Amantshontsho azenza ajonge lonke ixesha.
Njengoko kusenzeka, ukuphosa akukho lula. Ndichithe imizuzu engama-20 elandelayo ndibambelele phezu kweporcelain, nditsho ukuxhuzula, ndenza imisindo yokuphosa kwaye ndibamba iminwe yam ngaphakathi nangasemva komqala. Akukho thamsanqa. Ndabaleka ndaya ekhitshini ndafika ndathatha isuphu lamaTshayina — icephe elilelona lisetyenziswayo. Icephe liza kwenza iqhinga, ndacinga. Ndayinamathela loo njana kude kuye ezantsi, eyayingekude-mhlawumbi kuba yayiyisuphu yesitshayina. Isifundo apha siphindwe kabini: Ukwenza ukugabha akukho lula njengoko kuvakala, kwaye iisuphu zaseTshayina aziloncedo ngokukodwa kwisizathu.
Ngaphandle kokuthetha, indawo yokulala kwigumbi lokuhlala yayihleka njengeqela leempungutye zasendle xa ndandihlamba isitya sangasese.
Ngosuku olulandelayo, ndadibana nomhlobo wam uTeddy ukuze ndibuyise izitshixo zam. Uye waphawula ukuba ndinamachaphaza amancinci abomvu ajikeleze iziseko zamehlo am. Sibuyele egumbini lam ndaza ndathi, ngelixa ejonge iWebhu yeWebhu yeHlabathi ngalo naluphi na uhlobo lokukhankanywa kweziphumo zePlani B emadodeni, ndiye ndafunda amachaphaza abomvu anomdla emehlweni am. Kwavela ukuba kwakungekho shicilelo loncwadi kumadoda athatha iSicwangciso B.
Ndithathe isigqibo sokubiza ugqirha endimaziyo, umhlobo wosapho.
Ewe, uSpencer, waqinisekisa, kujongeka ngathi awuzukufumana olo sana emva kwako konke. Bwahahahaha!
Ijezi laqhubeka lathi inokuba ipilisi ngekhe yenze lukhulu ecaleni kokundinika isisu esibuhlungu. Njengokuba ndiza kuyithemba ingulube ngoluhlobo.
UTeddy ucebise ukuba sibize ulawulo lwetyhefu. UMark, opharetha kwiziko elisebenza ngokusisigxina kwiZiko leTyhefu (800-222-1222) uqinisekisile ukuba isisu esibuhlungu yeyona nto imbi endinokuyoyika. Abantwana bangena kolo hlobo lweepilisi ngalo lonke ixesha, uphendule uMark. Kwafuneka ndiyigubungele, andithi, Maka?
Kulungile. Uluntu lwezonyango lunokuba nomdla wokwazi ukuba isisu esisisu yayingenguye kuphela umphumo wecala. Enye into, umchamo wam wawubomvu obomvu kunye ne-steamy njengoko konke kuphuma. Kwakungathi ndinomlilo phakathi kwemilenze yam, eneneni engapholisiyo. Siza kuphepha iinkcukacha ezininzi kule, kodwa isitulo sam sasiyimbala engaqhelekanga-nayo ibomvu, kodwa ngaphezulu kwepinki ebomvu! Kwaye kukho loo machaphaza abomvu ajikeleze amehlo am.
Kodwa isiphumo esibi kakhulu yayikukuboniswa luluntu ekubonakala ukuba lwalulambe kakhulu kukuhleka olungekhe lukwazi ukumelana nokukhaba ihashe elonzakeleyo elinengxaki yesiCwangciso B.
Ibali lajikeleza itafile kwitheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa ngokulandelayo. Ngesiquphe, intombi yomhlobo wam-intombazana enembeko, intombazana eqhelekileyo kulwazi lwangaphambili-yangqonga itafile kwaye yaqala ukucwina iingono zam.
Owu, ujonga nje, wagigitheka. Ufuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba awukhulanga amabele.
Umhlobo wam wakudala uKaustuv, endandifunda naye ndaye ndathweswa isidanga kwaye ngoku uhlala kwiBay Area, kwafuneka afumane nokukhotha kwakhe. Ufike kwi-drawl yakhe ethambileyo yaseIndiya kwifowuni: Spencer, ukhe wayijonga indawo phakathi kweesile lakho kunye neebhola zakho mva nje?
Hayi, uKoo, andikenzi njalo, ndiphendule. (Ndimbiza ngokuba nguKoo ngokufutshane.)
Ewe unokufuna ukukhangela ukuze ubone ukuba i-orifice entsha ivulekile. Emva koko uKoo wakhupha isandi sasendle esihlekisayo esihlekisayo.
I-Chelsea yayingomnye wabambalwa abangazange bafumane into ehlekisayo. Uye wafowna emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa eqinisekisa ukuba ndiphilile. Undixelele ukuba ugqirha wakhe umnike imigqaliselo emithathu yesiCwangciso B, kwaye uyigcwalise yonke ngaxeshanye kuba kubonakala kulula kunokubuyela ekhemesti ngelinye ixesha. Emva koko wayebabeka kwibhotile engahleliwe. Uthe uzakuthatha isiCwangciso B kube kanye ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, kodwa ukuba njengomgaqo-nkqubo jikelele angakhetha ukukhuseleka kwaye athathe iSicwangciso B kunokukhupha isisu. Wongeze ngelithi wayecinga ukuba sisidenge kum ukuthatha ipilisi ndingazi ukuba yintoni. Ndicinga ukuba wayenobubele kakhulu. Ukuqhayisa ukuba isiCwangciso B sasisisidenge kakhulu.
Kodwa kukho into ejikayo kule saga: Ndathi ndiginye iSicwangciso B, ndaziphosa kwihlabathi lobufazi. Phantsi kweemeko eziqhelekileyo, ngumsebenzi wendoda ukuhlala nalo mfazi kwaye umthuthuzele-mhlawumbi ukugcina iliso lakhe linye kumdlalo webhola-ngelixa ehlupheka ngenxa yesisu, iipeyisi ezinomphunga kunye nabo bonke abanye. Ewe, ngoku ndiyayazi into abadlula kuyo, kwaye ndingathanda ukucinga ukuba ndingoyena mntu ulunge ngakumbi, onolwazelelelo ngayo. Khange ndicinge ukuba ndiyakuziva ndisitsho-ngesi sizathu, kunjalo-kodwa enkosi, Cwangcisa B.
