Ngoku wayethandana no-tranny, kwaye wayethetha ngokungakhathali ngokungathi wayesandula ukuqala ukudibanisa amatswele kumaqanda akhe aqhekeziweyo. Uqhubekile ngokuqhubeka malunga nendlela awayeshushu ngayo, ndoda. Ngokufanelekileyo yenye yezona zinto zisesona sitshisayo ehlabathini; mhlawumbi phakathi kwakhe kunye nenkwenkwe ethile yaseThai.
Ngorhatya lwamva nje, ndidibene nalo mfazi kuthethwa ngaye, intle uJamie Clayton, kwindawo yentselo ese-Lower East Side. U-5-unyawo-10, uneenwele ezinde ezibomvu, ezi-wavy, ulusu lwe-porcelain kunye namehlo amakhulu aluhlaza. Wahlala nkqo kwisitulo sakhe, imilenze emide engenanto ityhilwe ngaphezulu komnye uveza ukufikelela okuphezulu kwethanga phantsi kwengubo emhlophe yelinen.
Ngoku unama-30 kunye nomzobi, wakhula eyinkwenkwe eSan Diego. Uyise, uHoward, osandula ukusweleka, wayeligqwetha lezomthetho. Umama wakhe, uShelley, ngumcwangcisi womsitho. UJamie wayesoloko esazi ukuba wahlukile. Wayedla ngokujonga irhamncwa efihlakeleyo phakathi kwemilenze yakhe kwaye anqwenele ukuba lingabikho. Wayengafane ayichukumise; zange nakanye kuphume ulonwabo.
Ndambuza ukuba wayeyisitabane kwisikolo esiphakamileyo.
Ndiyaqikelela, utshilo. Ndandingumlingani ngokungagqibekanga. Ndandihlala ndingumfazi nje. Andiqondi ukuba nabani na owakha wadibana nam angandichaza njengendoda.
Kumabanga aphakamileyo, waphumelela amabhaso aphezulu kwizibalo nakwinzululwazi, kodwa ithemba lokuphakama kwesikolo samoyikisa. Wonzakala kwisikolo semagnethi yabantwana abaye baphoswa kwezinye izikolo. Uthe ngelixa utata wakhe angamqondanga, bahlala kakuhle kuba akazange angene engxakini kwaye abuye namabanga aphezulu. Wayefuna ukuba ngumzobi. Kungekudala emva kwesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, waqonda ukuba makaye eNew York.
Ndavuka nje kwaye kukho into ecofa nje engqondweni yam, utshilo. Kwaye ndandifana, ‘Ndifuna ukuba seNew York; INew York intle kakhulu. '
Kwakungekokude ukuba afike eNew York apho waqonda ukuba utshintsho kwezesondo lwalunokukhetha. Wayeza kuya eLimelight kwaye abanye abantwana babembuza ukuba sele eqale ukuthatha iihormones.
Ndandifana, 'Yintoni leyo?!'
Ngosuku awafumana ngalo i-inshurensi yezempilo, waqala ngokufowunela oogqirha ebabuza ukuba banamava okusebenza kunye nezigulana eziguqukayo. Hayi, hayi, hayi, hayi. Ekugqibeleni ugqirha kwi-Upper West Side wathi ewe. Kodwa kwathatha eminye iminyaka emihlanu ngaphambi kokuba ayigcine imali. Ngalo lonke elixesha wayethatha iihormones.
Kwakukho impembelelo ezolileyo phantse kwangoko, efana nokuhlamba ngaphezulu, utshilo. Emva kokuba kubo iinyanga ezimbalwa, bandenza ngendlela emangalisayo iimvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha. Ndingazibona sele ndenza icuckoo encinci, emva koko ndiyakuqonda, 'Owu, umzimba wam uluhlobo lokutshintsha ngoku.'
Emva kobuqhetseba bomsebenzi we-boob, uJamie wakhawuleza watsala amadoda awayewafuna: Into anokuyibiza ngokuba ngamadoda athe tye anomdla wokuziphatha ngokwesini kunye nokukhetha ukungahoyi umthwalo ongaphezulu.
Wadibana nomfoti kwiklabhu; babethandana iminyaka emibini enesiqingatha. Uthe uyamthanda; bayinike inyani yokwenyani. Ekugqibeleni wathi akakwazi ukujongana. Ngoku utshatile, unabantwana.
Emva koko kwafika umbhali wemagazini. Bebekhe bathandana iinyanga ezimbalwa, bezonwabisa nje, uJamie wacinga njalo. Ngenye imini ungabikho ndawo:
Andisoze ndiyilibale; Ndandineminyaka engama-23 okanye engama-24, utshilo. Ndikhumbula umzuzu othe ngqo xa sasiphakathi kwezesondo kwaye wandibuza ukuba bendithandana naye na. Ndandisandula ukwahlukana [nomfoti] kungekudala, kwaye ndandifana nokuthi, 'Kutheni undibuza loo nto kanye ngoku?' Kwaye wathi wayesazi ukuba ndimthanda kakhulu, kwaye sivana kakuhle, kwaye wayecinga ukuba ndiyamthanda. Ndaye ndathi kuye, 'uyandithanda?' Waphendula wathi, 'andinakukuthanda.' Ndaye ndaphakama ndanxiba iimpahla zam ndemka andaphinda ndaphinda ndathetha naye. .
Kwakulo mzuzu apho ndafunda ukuba andinakuze ndizibeke kwimeko, okanye ndiza kuzama nzima ngokungathethekiyo ukuphepha iimeko apho-kuba bendicinga ukuba yinto entle leyo ukuba umntu athethe into enje: ngekhe ndikuthandane nawe. ’Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba ndihlukile, kuba ndiyinto engaqhelekanga? Kungenxa yokuba abazali bakho bebengayi kuyithanda, ngenxa yokuba abahlobo bakho bengayi kuyithanda? Kwabuhlungu kakhulu. Yayifunxa.
Amaphepha:1 Mbini
